RE: Are you a Slave?

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

RE: Are you a Slave?

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: Are you a Slave?

Page: << < prev 3 4 5 6 [7]

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: Are you a Slave? - 2/19/2014 10:07:31 PM

Toysinbabeland

Posts: 1693
Joined: 3/4/2012
From: the other end of Cx's leash
Status: offline

I love being a slave, have loved being simply submissive, but then again I chose who I am a slave for.
It was a choice, not forced.
Forced slavery would not entice me at all.

_____________________________

*Smitten fox* that's all you need.

(in reply to Greta75)

Profile

Post #: 121

RE: Are you a Slave? - 2/20/2014 6:00:14 PM

littlewonder

Posts: 15659
Status: offline

I admit, we don't really do the whole consensual thing in our relationship. It's just not even something that comes up with us and not something I ever even think about. If that means I've been brainwashed or co-dependent or whatever, I'm perfectly fine with that. I like to call it love.

I mean really, do you ever hear of vanilla couples talking about consensuality like we do? Why not? Because they love one another and both change and do things for the other because of that love for one another. And no, bdsm isn't any different from vanilla.

_____________________________

Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

(in reply to Greta75)

Profile

Post #: 122

RE: Are you a Slave? - 2/20/2014 6:56:27 PM

shiftyw

Posts: 2837
Joined: 6/6/2013
From: The Shire
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

I admit, we don't really do the whole consensual thing in our relationship. It's just not even something that comes up with us and not something I ever even think about. If that means I've been brainwashed or co-dependent or whatever, I'm perfectly fine with that. I like to call it love.

I mean really, do you ever hear of vanilla couples talking about consensuality like we do? Why not? Because they love one another and both change and do things for the other because of that love for one another. And no, bdsm isn't any different from vanilla.

Yes all the time, honestly.
Sometimes more so than in my own relationship.

ETA- Although I don't think you're brainwashed or any of that nonsense, hence the bolding.

< Message edited by shiftyw -- 2/20/2014 6:59:36 PM >

(in reply to littlewonder)

Profile

Post #: 123

RE: Are you a Slave? - 2/20/2014 7:19:27 PM

littlewonder

Posts: 15659
Status: offline

really? I never have heard it, not even once. The couples I know just go about their daily lives without ever seeming to think about it. Their relationships just are.

_____________________________

Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

(in reply to shiftyw)

Profile

Post #: 124

RE: Are you a Slave? - 2/20/2014 7:23:58 PM

ExiledTyrant

Posts: 4547
Joined: 12/9/2013
From: Exiled
Status: offline

LW how many arguments do you hear over the trash, sox, and other such silliness. It always turns into a debate of "I worked all day, blah blah blah" and "I cleaned all day, chasing kids, blah blah blah".

I'm sure it is far from your realm of reason, because your dynamic with Kana works well for you. So the odd nilla bickering is tuned out.

Jus sayin
Exiled

_____________________________

Gnothi Seauton
To lead, first follow: Aurelius, Epictetus, Descartes, Sun Tzu, to name a few.

Semper fidelis (which sometimes feels like a burden)

(in reply to littlewonder)

Profile

Post #: 125

RE: Are you a Slave? - 2/20/2014 7:30:42 PM

OsideGirl

Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ExiledTyrant

LW how many arguments do you hear over the trash, sox, and other such silliness. It always turns into a debate of "I worked all day, blah blah blah" and "I cleaned all day, chasing kids, blah blah blah".

Yeah, a lot of my vanilla couple friends tend to have a lot more arguments that are usually the result of a power struggle. I think because we talk about dynamics and consent, we have less problems in that arena. We've had 2 arguments in the past year.

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to ExiledTyrant)

Profile

Post #: 126

RE: Are you a Slave? - 2/20/2014 7:37:24 PM

ExiledTyrant

Posts: 4547
Joined: 12/9/2013
From: Exiled
Status: offline

That is why vanilla is so... Um... Life sucking for me. I like firm ground, and am flexible on many things, but unshakable on my core beliefs. I do not argue and fight, I put everything on the table and that is that. If that becomes a contest, I crib a line from kana, sayonara.

Jus sayin
Exiled

_____________________________

Gnothi Seauton
To lead, first follow: Aurelius, Epictetus, Descartes, Sun Tzu, to name a few.

Semper fidelis (which sometimes feels like a burden)

(in reply to OsideGirl)

Profile

Post #: 127

RE: Are you a Slave? - 2/20/2014 7:40:56 PM

shiftyw

Posts: 2837
Joined: 6/6/2013
From: The Shire
Status: offline

Yah, see I don't really have D/s outside the bedroom, and consent surrounding who has to do the dishes is a constant struggle.

(in reply to ExiledTyrant)

Profile

Post #: 128

RE: Are you a Slave? - 2/20/2014 7:45:13 PM

littlewonder

Posts: 15659
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ExiledTyrant

LW how many arguments do you hear over the trash, sox, and other such silliness. It always turns into a debate of "I worked all day, blah blah blah" and "I cleaned all day, chasing kids, blah blah blah".

I'm sure it is far from your realm of reason, because your dynamic with Kana works well for you. So the odd nilla bickering is tuned out.

Jus sayin
Exiled

Sure, all relationships have arguments...even the *gasp* bdsm ones. Most of the relationships I know really don't fight like that. They usually just go to work, come home, do the chores, whoever has the time or ability, take care of the kids and go to bed. Usually not much time left in the day for much of anything else. Most couples are just don't have the time to sit down and say "I consent to this. You consent to that" like I hear in bdsm all the time.

I don't know. I don't see much difference between the relationships here and those in vanilla. If people saw Master and I there would be absolutely no sign of bdsm because honestly, our day is pretty much structured just like above as a vanilla.

The only relationships where I heard the bickering are the ones that never lasted longer than a couple of years at the most but had nothing to do with consent and everything to do with simple incompatibilities.

_____________________________

Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

(in reply to ExiledTyrant)

Profile

Post #: 129

RE: Are you a Slave? - 2/20/2014 7:46:14 PM

littlewonder

Posts: 15659
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: shiftyw

Yah, see I don't really have D/s outside the bedroom, and consent surrounding who has to do the dishes is a constant struggle.

Buy a dishwasher and you won't ever have that problem ever again!

Seriously....5 minutes to load them in and done! I don't know what I did all those years without one!

_____________________________

Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

(in reply to shiftyw)

Profile

Post #: 130

RE: Are you a Slave? - 2/20/2014 7:52:45 PM

shiftyw

Posts: 2837
Joined: 6/6/2013
From: The Shire
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

quote:

ORIGINAL: shiftyw

Yah, see I don't really have D/s outside the bedroom, and consent surrounding who has to do the dishes is a constant struggle.

Buy a dishwasher and you won't ever have that problem ever again!

Seriously....5 minutes to load them in and done! I don't know what I did all those years without one!

We are still renters. I'm a millennial. No hopes for home ownership here haha.

But seriously...I wouldn't consider "run of the mill anal" BDSM. Or Top/bottom, WHATEVER.

So when my friend has "run of the mill anal" with his wife, you better bet my friend asks his wifes permission before charging in there unannounced.

Whereas in my relationship...he doesn't have to ask beyond really that first time, so to me, consent is actually discussed more in my friend's bedroom than in mine.

(in reply to littlewonder)

Profile

Post #: 131

RE: Are you a Slave? - 2/20/2014 8:02:51 PM

ARIES83

Posts: 3648
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: ExiledTyrant

LW how many arguments do you hear over the trash, sox, and other such silliness. It always turns into a debate of "I worked all day, blah blah blah" and "I cleaned all day, chasing kids, blah blah blah".

Yeah, a lot of my vanilla couple friends tend to have a lot more arguments that are usually the result of a power struggle. I think because we talk about dynamics and consent, we have less problems in that arena. We've had 2 arguments in the past year.

I never really thought about it that way, but I do notice that it seems like the couples I know are constantly having arguments. Where as I can go years without having an argument!

_____________________________

530 DAYS

(in reply to OsideGirl)

Profile

Post #: 132

RE: Are you a Slave? - 2/20/2014 8:47:19 PM

pg4g

Posts: 296
Joined: 12/31/2013
From: Australia
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

Most couples are just don't have the time to sit down and say "I consent to this. You consent to that" like I hear in bdsm all the time.

I think we discuss it a lot due to the nature of pain, control, and the fact that we often are blurring our consent lines. And that's fine. But ensuring we don't cross them is important to a lot of people, including myself. Keeping things safe in both a physical and psychological sense is extremely important. I don't want to see abuse under the guise of BDSM that's all

.

In our relationships themselves we just say what our limits are, and then that's that. And that's all the discussion about consent needed.

(in reply to littlewonder)

Profile

Post #: 133

RE: Are you a Slave? - 2/20/2014 10:13:35 PM

FieryOpal

Posts: 2821
Joined: 12/8/2013
From: Maryland
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

I admit, we don't really do the whole consensual thing in our relationship. It's just not even something that comes up with us and not something I ever even think about. If that means I've been brainwashed or co-dependent or whatever, I'm perfectly fine with that. I like to call it love.

I mean really, do you ever hear of vanilla couples talking about consensuality like we do? Why not? Because they love one another and both change and do things for the other because of that love for one another. And no, bdsm isn't any different from vanilla.

Enduring love is always a game changer. And so is the emotional maturity factor, making the difference between co-dependence and interdependence, childish mental game-playing and maintaining open lines of two-way communication. Then there's a matter of personal integrity within relationships, which keeps people honest with one another and with themselves. When these are in place and functioning properly, neither D/s nor vanilla couples should get caught up in major and/or unresolvable power struggles.

A nod to OsideGirl for bringing up power struggles that couples engage in, because I was thinking more along the lines of TPE gone south, where the power of love is absent from the equation or where intense bonding becomes a one-sided affair.

_____________________________

Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage. - Lao Tzu
There is no remedy for love but to love more. - Thoreau

(in reply to littlewonder)

Profile

Post #: 134

RE: Are you a Slave? - 2/21/2014 10:35:27 AM

Galacia

Posts: 60
Joined: 7/22/2013
Status: offline

It's fun to take orders.

(in reply to FieryOpal)

Profile

Post #: 135