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Serious question about Life - 3/4/2014 12:23:29 PM   
RobMo13


Posts: 11
Joined: 11/24/2013
Status: offline 		Quick edit- dont know if it will work
Alright,
Im going to give a quick synopsis of who I am, where I am, what I want and wondering if Im realistic or just looking for greener grass with unreal expectations in life? Should I just accept the hand I dealt myself?

I wonder about many of the profiles I see btw, how many are real people with real lives, real issues, real life experiences and how many are just fakes looking for financial gain and/or self gratification. I couldn't begin to guess.

Short on me. 4th Marriage, short relationship after a long term relationship ended resulted in a marriage in a short time frame. I am controlling, I am dominant in my life 24/7. I am not happy not being in control of my life my surroundings. I want life to run smooth. I do what I enjoy doing and want my wife/relationships to enjoy sharing my life experiences and interests. In the beginning (premarriage) she enjoyed my take charge side in and out of the bedroom, bondage, etc.

A couple years later. She hates me always being in control, although I remind her often she enjoys what we do and I dont totally exclude her interests except when it conflicts with mine. To be fair, Im not an easy man. I expect a lot out of a person. Discipline, Integrity, commitment (as far as to ones beliefs, ambitions)
We are very different. I can be hard, I can be an ass but I believe I am fair. I can be frugal but not as frugal to my own desires.

I, for the life of me cant figure out how we ended up together. Very, very different.

Im trying to be honest and fair in my descriptions of how I see it and not her perception which would be 100% different.

I come home from work most days hoping to find she moved out.


Im still married only because its my 4th and I dont want to give up.

Am I realistic thinking its time to end it and believe that maybe there really is someone out there for me or is it time to just accept the cards I dealt myself as its the best I can hope for and make the best of it.

< Message edited by RobMo13 -- 3/4/2014 1:20:36 PM >
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Serious question about Life - 3/4/2014 12:31:08 PM   
Rawni


Posts: 1175
Status: offline 		You married the broad after three others didn't work. That would be your fault. Now you are going to stay when you can speak about her like that? Again, your fault. Then you are looking for a woman that suits your desires... without offering her... OH WAIT... what you have clearly shown you offer the woman you married.

ROFLMAO!

Whenever someone builds themselves up as you have and then takes the one they chose to marry, down as you have... I see.. traitor of he marital kind and not a very nice person. Red Flag, red flag!

(in reply to RobMo13)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Serious question about Life - 3/4/2014 12:34:27 PM   
LadyConstanze


Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline 		Seriously? Well, wouldn't work for me anyway because I'm not submissive, but as a woman:

You have 4 failed marriages, that would suggest to me that you aren't seeing your commitments very seriously (so a massive issue with me trusting you) or you make notoriously bad choices, though highly unlikely with 4 marriages, but if so, then you also lack the ability to learn...

So basically you want a 50's household with the guy the head of the house and all that, but you can't really keep your end of that bargain, because she would need to support herself, and she has to be a sensual little sexpot as well and should look good, but there are no means to pay for that (trust me looking good and sexy involves work and expenses).

You bring children into the relationship but she can't...

I'm not being mean here, I'm just translating what you said into how this reads for a woman... Now if you're honest, you don't really have all that much to offer and you come with a ton of baggage, maybe you need to cut down a bit on your expectations?

_____________________________

There are 10 kinds of people who understand binary
Those who do and those who don't!

http://exdomme.blogspot.com/2012/07/public-service-announcement.html

(in reply to RobMo13)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Serious question about Life - 3/4/2014 12:38:49 PM   
Blonderfluff


Posts: 2253
Joined: 10/9/2013
From: Down the Shore
Status: offline 		Rob
Well. Pull up a chair. I'm gonna be a lil nicer, but my opinion on your situation won't be an answer you will like.
Yes. It's time to end your (4th) marriage. In fact, methinks it never should have happened.
I will add to that.
Holy shit. Did you learn NOTHING from your current situation!! You haven't even ended it yet, and you throw in that second to last paragraph, which is basically a personals ad for your 5th ex- wife.
Seriously. End your marriage. And please. Spend some time alone. A long time. A long, long time. Figure out what it is that you keep doing wrong.
Because the only thing that all 4 of your marriages have in common. Is you.

_____________________________

Don't fear moving forward slowly...fear standing still.



I'm Blonde. Jane Blonde.

(in reply to Rawni)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Serious question about Life - 3/4/2014 12:42:00 PM   
LadyConstanze


Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Blonderfluff

I'm gonna be a lil nicer


And I thought I was exceedingly nice (for being me anyway)

_____________________________

There are 10 kinds of people who understand binary
Those who do and those who don't!

http://exdomme.blogspot.com/2012/07/public-service-announcement.html

(in reply to Blonderfluff)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Serious question about Life - 3/4/2014 12:43:49 PM   
Rawni


Posts: 1175
Status: offline 		I don't tend to be nice to people that would marry someone and then speak of them in such a way in public and with strangers, while looking for someone else... all while there are children in the house.

Naw... no requirement to be nice other than tos and I think my post fit that.

(in reply to LadyConstanze)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Serious question about Life - 3/4/2014 12:45:12 PM   
LadyMondenschein


Posts: 88
Joined: 12/1/2009
Status: offline 		Well said, Lady C!

(in reply to LadyConstanze)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Serious question about Life - 3/4/2014 12:50:44 PM   
LorraineCA


Posts: 114
Joined: 12/10/2013
Status: offline 		I'm a firm believer that marriage is a sacred relationships and each give their vows. I believe that when two people marry they should do everything within their means to make it work. I recommend you see a marriage therapist and try to work out your issues.

(in reply to LadyMondenschein)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Serious question about Life - 3/4/2014 12:51:48 PM   
Blonderfluff


Posts: 2253
Joined: 10/9/2013
From: Down the Shore
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze


quote:

ORIGINAL: Blonderfluff

I'm gonna be a lil nicer


And I thought I was exceedingly nice (for being me anyway)

You actually were. ;).

I'm just really really really nice. (~grins and ducks~)

_____________________________

Don't fear moving forward slowly...fear standing still.



I'm Blonde. Jane Blonde.

(in reply to LadyConstanze)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Serious question about Life - 3/4/2014 12:53:06 PM   
RobMo13


Posts: 11
Joined: 11/24/2013
Status: offline 		Brutal but fair. Thank you for your direct observations. I did reread my post and probably should have done so before posting. A little more thought would have gone a long way. Maybe not though. I am going to delete my thread shortly but willing to accept some additional comments. I am accepting of the criticism. you are all honest and sometimes good to see yourself from an outside perspective. Thank you. I am deleting because I probably look like the biggest asshole on here, and that really isnt me.
Im not as bad as I came out but then again neither is she.

(in reply to LadyMondenschein)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Serious question about Life - 3/4/2014 12:54:50 PM   
LadyConstanze


Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline 		Do I need to head down to "I admit" and admit that I erased and typed new 3 times to avoid a golden letter ;)

_____________________________

There are 10 kinds of people who understand binary
Those who do and those who don't!

http://exdomme.blogspot.com/2012/07/public-service-announcement.html

(in reply to Blonderfluff)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Serious question about Life - 3/4/2014 12:56:29 PM   
Blonderfluff


Posts: 2253
Joined: 10/9/2013
From: Down the Shore
Status: offline 		Rob
You can't delete a thread, only your post. And. Please don't. I'm happy to see that you came back. Give a few more people a chance to chime in, and once they've seen that you didn't stomp off all butt hurt, you may actually get some more insight.
Granted. You are not in a strong moral position here. Lol. But it seems like you have a fairly thick skin, and you really do want to hear what others think.
Stick around.

Edit for sp.

< Message edited by Blonderfluff -- 3/4/2014 12:57:49 PM >

_____________________________

Don't fear moving forward slowly...fear standing still.



I'm Blonde. Jane Blonde.

(in reply to RobMo13)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Serious question about Life - 3/4/2014 12:56:43 PM   
LadyConstanze


Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline 		Rob, I had a look at your profile, you may want to rewrite that as well, especially the discrete part...

_____________________________

There are 10 kinds of people who understand binary
Those who do and those who don't!

http://exdomme.blogspot.com/2012/07/public-service-announcement.html

(in reply to LadyConstanze)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Serious question about Life - 3/4/2014 12:57:13 PM   
Rawni


Posts: 1175
Status: offline 		The thing is... you can't delete the thread.

I often have nightmares about posting and how I can be or how I cuss... but I have to live with the damage. It if mattered to me, more than the sleepless nights I might change it in fact, but I don't. That says something about me. As does your post.

(in reply to RobMo13)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Serious question about Life - 3/4/2014 12:59:33 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		Before anything else, I'm going to tell you that I don't think this has much to do with general BDSM.

Basically, your post comes across as being a guy who doesn't want to leave his wife unless he sets himself up in another relationship first. Kind of like you'll bail if something better comes along. Otherwise, you'll stay where you are, even though you say you're not exactly happy. Seems to Me that you're setting yourself up for a repeat pattern of exactly what you did the last time. Then, you wonder how you ended up with somebody that, from your angle, wasn't a great match to begin with.

If you want to find somebody else, divorce your wife first. I'd actually say that you need to spend some time being single first because, just by what you are writing here, you don't make great decisions in partners when you make quick relationship jumps. I'd probably say you need to learn to be 'happily single' before looking for the next person.

Not once did you even bother to say you loved your wife. That's depressing as hell. If you're wondering why your wife is balking at the relationship style that you used to enjoy, it's because she probably knows how little you think of her. (I'd be shocked if she doesn't know after that kind of tirade above.) You honestly do have a part that you've played in that, whether you decided to list it up there in that post or not.

I've been married to My husband for twelve years. If our marriage ever got to the point that your impression gives here or he thought so little of Me that he would write a post like that, I'd hope to God he'd just divorce Me and get it over with.


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to RobMo13)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Serious question about Life - 3/4/2014 1:03:27 PM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RobMo13
I am going to delete my thread shortly but willing to accept some additional comments. I am accepting of the criticism. you are all honest and sometimes good to see yourself from an outside perspective. Thank you. I am deleting because I probably look like the biggest asshole on here, and that really isnt me.
Im not as bad as I came out but then again neither is she.



You can't delete your thread, so you don't have any choice but to accept additional comments.



My view is that it's very clear that you're done with your marriage and your reason for prolonging the suffering (for both of you) is a cop out.

I would also suggest that you seek a counselor to figure out what decisions are causing you to have four failed marriages. Until you do that, you're doomed to keep repeating the same behaviors.


_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to RobMo13)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Serious question about Life - 3/4/2014 1:05:05 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze
Do I need to head down to "I admit" and admit that I erased and typed new 3 times to avoid a golden letter ;)

Believe Me. You weren't the only one who had to choose their words carefully.



_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to LadyConstanze)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Serious question about Life - 3/4/2014 1:07:57 PM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze
Do I need to head down to "I admit" and admit that I erased and typed new 3 times to avoid a golden letter ;)

Believe Me. You weren't the only one who had to choose their words carefully.




Me too...


_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Serious question about Life - 3/4/2014 1:10:36 PM   
VideoAdminChi


Posts: 3086
Joined: 8/6/2012
Status: offline 		This thread is now in Off Topic.

Thanks to everyone for being able to have this conversation without needing gold letters - keep up the good work!


(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Serious question about Life - 3/4/2014 1:12:29 PM   
VideoAdminChi


Posts: 3086
Joined: 8/6/2012
Status: offline
quote:

I am going to delete my thread shortly


While you may edit your post for up to an hour, you may not delete your thread.

(in reply to RobMo13)
Profile   Post #: 20
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