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RE: Honestly sick of Older Men's attitude on here. - 3/11/2014 6:23:28 PM   
SlaveOh


Posts: 28
Joined: 1/7/2014
Status: offline 		I don't know if this exists; I don't frequent the forums often as my wrists are slapped almost everytime I post, but there needs to be a "Rant Only" area for folks who want to talk about general annoyances of CM-- like the OP did with her post.

Forgive me if this seems a little "duh," I'm not around here much, and I'm sure it exists already and I'm not seeing it.

(in reply to jlf1961)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Honestly sick of Older Men's attitude on here. - 3/11/2014 6:26:23 PM   
ShadowsSon


Posts: 5
Joined: 1/2/2013
Status: offline 		Amen to that. I got stories of them being all talk and no action.

(in reply to LorraineCA)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Honestly sick of Older Men's attitude on here. - 3/11/2014 6:59:11 PM   
RemoteUser


Posts: 2854
Joined: 5/10/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SlaveOh

I don't know if this exists; I don't frequent the forums often as my wrists are slapped almost everytime I post, but there needs to be a "Rant Only" area for folks who want to talk about general annoyances of CM-- like the OP did with her post.

Forgive me if this seems a little "duh," I'm not around here much, and I'm sure it exists already and I'm not seeing it.


There is no such aminal, we rant as part of the general discourse. Most rants end up in the general stupidity because it's hard to take a rant as a serious discussion about anything in a constructive manner (inherent).

So feel free to rant as you like.


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(in reply to SlaveOh)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Honestly sick of Older Men's attitude on here. - 3/11/2014 7:03:35 PM   
CatharsisKentUK


Posts: 31
Joined: 2/22/2014
Status: offline 		For me it's a straightforward litmus test. Any one who follows up a generic 'how about it' message by breaking out the block caps and demanding to know why I haven't responded swiftly enough or shown 'respect' has done me the huge fabour of pointing themselves out as either a deluded fantasist not operating in the real world where other people have shit to do or a chauvinist/arsehole/fuckwit (delete as appropriate) whose needs to dominate comes from a place of weakness rather than strength of character. If my failure to rattle out a deferential response within milliseconds is enough to threaten a guy's masculinity, then I'm afraid I'm not about to volunteer to be a whipping bitch for his insecurities.

I agree that it's significantly older men who tend to get petulant with me but cm appears to be skewed with a high proportion of these men. I think it takes more for a woman to put herself out there as a sub, slave or masochist and female divorcees are more likely to have kids to worry about rather than their sexlives. But middle aged male divorcees and widowers seem to be a huge demographic - certainly on the personals side of things, I can't speak for forum contributors. I've stated a preferred age range on my profile but plenty of people message me anyway and as long as they're aware that it's a fairly long shot and they're able to be graceful in rejection, I'm fine with that. At the first hint of a tantrum I just block people. Life is just too short.

What really amuses me though, is when I turn someone down and they attempt to debate the decision with me. Only on kink sites am I ever required to argue my case for rejection. They'll point out the kinks and interests we have that are similar or whatever but I know damn well they don't actually want to be told that they're ugly as sin, morbidly obese, functionally illiterate or nuttier than squirrel scat. Why these men do this to themselves I'll never know and I'm supposed to be the masochist.

(in reply to jlf1961)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Honestly sick of Older Men's attitude on here. - 3/11/2014 7:07:27 PM   
smileforme50


Posts: 1623
Joined: 1/24/2013
From: DelaWHERE(?)
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1


quote:

ORIGINAL: fucktoyprincess


quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1
Grown men old enough to be your father will act less mature than a nine-year-old when you say No.

Stay true to yourself, and stay smart.

Best of luck.


I thought all men behave this way when faced with rejection.

My read on this is that you're kind of joking, but kind of serious. So, hey, I'll respond seriously.

That spiteful, "Fuck you, cunt," type of response -- or, my favorite, "Oh yeah? Well I'm not interested anyway because you're fat" -- is coming from a very weak place. The man needs recognition from, approval by, acceptance of women, in order to feel attractive or whole. But please understand: I'm not saying that a man should believe "it's her loss" if a woman decides not to date him. Because it might not be her loss! He might not be what she is looking for, sexually or romantically. That doesn't make him (or her) wrong, or bad. It just means they are not compatible.

The "trick" is to understand that you're valuable, whether or not a woman says yes. And the right kind of woman will say yes, because she is attracted to your sense of personal value.

Flip or choose the genders as appropriate for your personal dating scene.

I once posted here, "I've been rejected by a lot of women." A couple people then jumped on me, saying basically, "You sound like a virgin, with all those women rejecting you." (This was in the bad old Arpig days.) But what I was trying to say was: I ask out women who have a lot of options, and I'm not everyone's cup of tea. So a percentage of women have said yes, and a percentage have said no. This might be an aspect of the male side of dating that hetero women don't understand very well. Guys, especially "ambitious" guys, have to learn to be ok with hearing no an awful lot. It's a skill, and it takes time to toughen oneself up. So it doesn't surprise me that this is a tender spot for a lot of men, especially men who may not have a lot of recent dating experience (newly divorced 50-somethings for example).


What you say is true....but what people forget is that all of this runs in both directions. Men get rejected by women....and women get rejected by men too. Nobody is immune.


_____________________________

“Give it to me!” she yelled
“I’m so fucking wet! Give it to me now!”

She could scream all she wanted…..I was keeping the umbrella.

(in reply to RedMagic1)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Honestly sick of Older Men's attitude on here. - 3/11/2014 7:14:33 PM   
MisterP61


Posts: 1345
Joined: 10/9/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: shiftyw

Can we just say generalizations in general are horrible?
If I had a dollar for everytime I got talked down to here or on fetlife, or at an event- because of my young age- I'd be ready for retirement.
Lets all just get along.

And as for my post- if you're over 60, you're older than my dad- sorry- but I can't get past it, and that's a generalization I'm willing to make.

Sorry shifty... I have to disagree with you on this point. That IS a preference. It is the "all men over 50" that I can't stand. Unless you know Me you can't say that. Just saying.

_____________________________

Proudly married to the "Diva of Destruction" LadyPact
Though the truth may vary, this ship will carry our bodies safe to shore - Of Monsters and Men
What is the maximum effective range of an excuse? Zero meters!

(in reply to shiftyw)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Honestly sick of Older Men's attitude on here. - 3/11/2014 7:35:13 PM   
NiceButMeanGirl


Posts: 2756
Joined: 11/4/2011
From: Bellingham, WA U.S.A.
Status: offline 		I think generalizations just suck....generally, lol....and they make the ones who adhere to them look less intelligent. Believe me, OP, it's not just men over 50 who disrespect. It's men AND women, both over AND well under 50, on BOTH sides of the slash. No one group of people has a monopoly on disrespecting, or on anything else for that matter. Not to be disrespectful but, if you've only been here for six days & you're already this wound up, you need to learn relaxation techniques or something. The nice thing about the BLOCK and DELETE buttons are you can use them and those who disrespect you will be out of your life. Easy peasy.

NBMG

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(in reply to MisterP61)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Honestly sick of Older Men's attitude on here. - 3/11/2014 7:39:23 PM   
shiftyw


Posts: 2837
Joined: 6/6/2013
From: The Shire
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MisterP61


quote:

ORIGINAL: shiftyw

Can we just say generalizations in general are horrible?
If I had a dollar for everytime I got talked down to here or on fetlife, or at an event- because of my young age- I'd be ready for retirement.
Lets all just get along.

And as for my post- if you're over 60, you're older than my dad- sorry- but I can't get past it, and that's a generalization I'm willing to make.

Sorry shifty... I have to disagree with you on this point. That IS a preference. It is the "all men over 50" that I can't stand. Unless you know Me you can't say that. Just saying.


Well technically- the "you're older than my dad" you bolded is a fact not preference. Just saying. Me not getting past it, is the preference.

But certainly- you are correct- and I do think its a dick move to generalize about all men over 50.
Filters on the otherside are nice because you can still see the messages if you want to and make friends, which I'm never opposed to friends of any age! Then just delete all the "HEY, Love your tits, suck my dick or else you aren't submissive" or the "You're fat anyways!" or the "Hey, I'm 100 years old, love younger women, you'll love an older man I promise, I'm different" "Someone your age, I've found, just has more fun with an older man"

As a younger lady- I get her frustrations with it. I mean- I'm sure people across the board suck- but in my inbox 9/10 times its a older straight guy looking to take advantage of me, just because, men are most likely to message me, and I'd guess the mean age of males on here is higher than my own. So while one shouldn't generalize- sometimes on the other side it does feel like everyone who messages you IS a jackass. I can't imagine actually wanting to use the otherside as a dating service actually.

(in reply to MisterP61)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Honestly sick of Older Men's attitude on here. - 3/11/2014 7:45:25 PM   
Darkdog


Posts: 29
Joined: 6/30/2005
Status: offline 		People seem to feel that when they become "anonymous" on the web, it is OK to press the "Ass-Hole button"

Yes, it appears to be more men than women, but not exclusively.

Me? I was raised to make nice with strangers.

(in reply to shiftyw)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Honestly sick of Older Men's attitude on here. - 3/11/2014 7:48:09 PM   
MisterP61


Posts: 1345
Joined: 10/9/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: shiftyw


quote:

ORIGINAL: MisterP61


quote:

ORIGINAL: shiftyw

Can we just say generalizations in general are horrible?
If I had a dollar for everytime I got talked down to here or on fetlife, or at an event- because of my young age- I'd be ready for retirement.
Lets all just get along.

And as for my post- if you're over 60, you're older than my dad- sorry- but I can't get past it, and that's a generalization I'm willing to make.

Sorry shifty... I have to disagree with you on this point. That IS a preference. It is the "all men over 50" that I can't stand. Unless you know Me you can't say that. Just saying.


Well technically- the "you're older than my dad" you bolded is a fact not preference. Just saying. Me not getting past it, is the preference.

But certainly- you are correct- and I do think its a dick move to generalize about all men over 50.
Filters on the otherside are nice because you can still see the messages if you want to and make friends, which I'm never opposed to friends of any age! Then just delete all the "HEY, Love your tits, suck my dick or else you aren't submissive" or the "You're fat anyways!" or the "Hey, I'm 100 years old, love younger women, you'll love an older man I promise, I'm different" "Someone your age, I've found, just has more fun with an older man"

As a younger lady- I get her frustrations with it. I mean- I'm sure people across the board suck- but in my inbox 9/10 times its a older straight guy looking to take advantage of me, just because, men are most likely to message me, and I'd guess the mean age of males on here is higher than my own. So while one shouldn't generalize- sometimes on the other side it does feel like everyone who messages you IS a jackass. I can't imagine actually wanting to use the otherside as a dating service actually.

Busted. OK yeah I inferred what you just said. Hey I could of been a dick about it

_____________________________

Proudly married to the "Diva of Destruction" LadyPact
Though the truth may vary, this ship will carry our bodies safe to shore - Of Monsters and Men
What is the maximum effective range of an excuse? Zero meters!

(in reply to shiftyw)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Honestly sick of Older Men's attitude on here. - 3/11/2014 8:06:08 PM   
shiftyw


Posts: 2837
Joined: 6/6/2013
From: The Shire
Status: offline 		Its ok- I know you're a good one. I'd respond to your message in my bulk mail folder haha.

(in reply to MisterP61)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Honestly sick of Older Men's attitude on here. - 3/11/2014 8:16:20 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MsStrangely

Just the pure disrespect I'm receiving from the over 50 men. I tell them I'm not interested and suddenly that makes me a " little Bitch Cunt". It is disgusting, I feel like I have to just block anyone I turn down. I've only been on the scene two and an half years, perhaps with time it is something I'll be use to...

2 1/2 years and you still get upset by it??? WHY????? And it's not just the over 50 club. You will get exactly the same responses from all ages. Age has zilch to do with it. Anonymity does.


_____________________________

Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

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Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Honestly sick of Older Men's attitude on here. - 3/11/2014 8:25:46 PM   
kalikshama


Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline
quote:

Just the pure disrespect I'm receiving from the over 50 men. I tell them I'm not interested and suddenly that makes me a " little Bitch Cunt". It is disgusting, I feel like I have to just block anyone I turn down. I've only been on the scene two and an half years, perhaps with time it is something I'll be use to...


1. Are you using the form letters to respond? I never got any vitriol when I used them. Arguments, sometimes, abuse, no.

2. Or just don't respond.

(in reply to MsStrangely)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Honestly sick of Older Men's attitude on here. - 3/11/2014 8:30:37 PM   
subfever


Posts: 2895
Joined: 5/22/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MsStrangely

Just the pure disrespect I'm receiving from the over 50 men. I tell them I'm not interested and suddenly that makes me a " little Bitch Cunt". It is disgusting, I feel like I have to just block anyone I turn down. I've only been on the scene two and an half years, perhaps with time it is something I'll be use to...


I think it's good that you have defined your desired age parameters. By doing this, you've shown respect for both the time and effort of undesired prospects. From my perspective, more members should do this, when age is of importance.

You might now consider adjusting your mail settings to match your desired age parameters, and also expressing these settings in your profile introduction as a fair warning. Any prospect over 35 that writes to you would go into your bulk mail, as well as any of their subsequent idiocies. Just a thought.

< Message edited by subfever -- 3/11/2014 8:33:29 PM >

(in reply to MsStrangely)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Honestly sick of Older Men's attitude on here. - 3/11/2014 8:55:02 PM   
Tantriqu


Posts: 2026
Joined: 12/29/2006
Status: offline 		Oh, yeah!
I find younger men [under 40] are far more comfortable in their subliness. There are exceptions; I just haven't found them.
It also amuses me when men of 70 try to wheedle with 'age is just a number', but it never means they approach and date 95-year-old Dommes.
My theory is men 50+ are still products of their environments, and now that they're older white men, they feel entitled to top from the bottom.
I also think it's part of their mid-life crisis, where they're past their physical peaks and they're not used to competing with the youngbloods, and strike out verbally when they're rejected since they're used to being in control and pick of the litter. I think most women go through that in their 30's, and berate themselves rather than others.
Of course, the dudes might just always have been Asperger-y troll jerks, too, and there's no age limit on that.

But there are *lovely* men out there and in here, so good luck.


_____________________________

"Then I did the simplest thing in the world. I leaned down... and kissed him. And the world cracked open." - Agnes de Mille

(in reply to MsStrangely)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Honestly sick of Older Men's attitude on here. - 3/11/2014 9:50:25 PM   
FrostedFlake


Posts: 3084
Joined: 3/4/2009
From: Centralia, Washington
Status: offline 		Bless your heart.

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(in reply to Tantriqu)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Honestly sick of Older Men's attitude on here. - 3/11/2014 10:25:58 PM   
Tantriqu


Posts: 2026
Joined: 12/29/2006
Status: offline 		PS:
Oh, and they'll also denigrate your own experiences and openly or unconsciously blame you for the bad things that happen to you.
Mature, eh?

_____________________________

"Then I did the simplest thing in the world. I leaned down... and kissed him. And the world cracked open." - Agnes de Mille

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Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Honestly sick of Older Men's attitude on here. - 3/11/2014 11:11:55 PM   
Darkfeather


Posts: 1142
Joined: 3/13/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: shiftyw


quote:

ORIGINAL: MisterP61


quote:

ORIGINAL: shiftyw

Can we just say generalizations in general are horrible?
If I had a dollar for everytime I got talked down to here or on fetlife, or at an event- because of my young age- I'd be ready for retirement.
Lets all just get along.

And as for my post- if you're over 60, you're older than my dad- sorry- but I can't get past it, and that's a generalization I'm willing to make.

Sorry shifty... I have to disagree with you on this point. That IS a preference. It is the "all men over 50" that I can't stand. Unless you know Me you can't say that. Just saying.


Well technically- the "you're older than my dad" you bolded is a fact not preference. Just saying. Me not getting past it, is the preference.

But certainly- you are correct- and I do think its a dick move to generalize about all men over 50.
Filters on the otherside are nice because you can still see the messages if you want to and make friends, which I'm never opposed to friends of any age! Then just delete all the "HEY, Love your tits, suck my dick or else you aren't submissive" or the "You're fat anyways!" or the "Hey, I'm 100 years old, love younger women, you'll love an older man I promise, I'm different" "Someone your age, I've found, just has more fun with an older man"

As a younger lady- I get her frustrations with it. I mean- I'm sure people across the board suck- but in my inbox 9/10 times its a older straight guy looking to take advantage of me, just because, men are most likely to message me, and I'd guess the mean age of males on here is higher than my own. So while one shouldn't generalize- sometimes on the other side it does feel like everyone who messages you IS a jackass. I can't imagine actually wanting to use the otherside as a dating service actually.


And this right here is why I find it quite strange that more women don't simply send messages to men instead of waiting for us to email them... On the one had we get you loathe to hear from the gigolos and asswipes, the horndogs and ragemeisters wanting to hear only from guys that fit your criteria. On the other, you chastise any who fall outside the criteria (and some who fall far, far outside that legitimately) for messaging on a whim or en masse. Seems to me, the wise move would be since women both have the numbers, and the astronomical critical requirements here, that you guys just send messages to those of use who, you know, actually match your list in the first place. It would save the frustration of guys hitting filter purgatory, and you women actually hitting your target audience

(in reply to shiftyw)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Honestly sick of Older Men's attitude on here. - 3/12/2014 1:26:24 AM   
FieryOpal


Posts: 2821
Joined: 12/8/2013
From: Maryland
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CatharsisKentUK
<snip>
What really amuses me though, is when I turn someone down and they attempt to debate the decision with me. Only on kink sites am I ever required to argue my case for rejection. They'll point out the kinks and interests we have that are similar or whatever but I know damn well they don't actually want to be told that they're ugly as sin, morbidly obese, functionally illiterate or nuttier than squirrel scat. Why these men do this to themselves I'll never know and I'm supposed to be the masochist.

It's almost amusing, if it weren't so pathetic. I do encounter this on non-kink sites, however. Do I care if you travel all over the country for your job or come into the area often? You can potentially juggle a dame in every port and still have a missus sitting there waiting for you at home is all that tells me. And this:

quote:

ORIGINAL: Tantriqu
....
It also amuses me when men of 70 try to wheedle with 'age is just a number', but it never means they approach and date 95-year-old Dommes.
My theory is men 50+ are still products of their environments, and now that they're older white men, they feel entitled to top from the bottom.
I also think it's part of their mid-life crisis, where they're past their physical peaks and they're not used to competing with the youngbloods, and strike out verbally when they're rejected since they're used to being in control and pick of the litter.
<snip>

Funny how when you ask them would they (at 60+) consider a woman who was 10-12 years older than they are, they suddenly become mute. Hell no, they wouldn't--They all want younger women. Well, maybe some of us older women would prefer a (slightly) younger man or one around their same age, so we can count on having a virile partner for the next 15-20 years who won't have to pop Viagra and die of a heart attack en flagrante delicto.
(Sorry Tantriqu, but I can't do under 40 so I wouldn't know. Don't want to feel like I'm out with my son, nephew, or having to raise a man-child. )

_____________________________

Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage. - Lao Tzu
There is no remedy for love but to love more. - Thoreau

(in reply to CatharsisKentUK)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Honestly sick of Older Men's attitude on here. - 3/12/2014 3:09:20 AM   
smileforme50


Posts: 1623
Joined: 1/24/2013
From: DelaWHERE(?)
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MisterP61


quote:

ORIGINAL: shiftyw

Can we just say generalizations in general are horrible?
If I had a dollar for everytime I got talked down to here or on fetlife, or at an event- because of my young age- I'd be ready for retirement.
Lets all just get along.

And as for my post- if you're over 60, you're older than my dad- sorry- but I can't get past it, and that's a generalization I'm willing to make.

Sorry shifty... I have to disagree with you on this point. That IS a preference. It is the "all men over 50" that I can't stand. Unless you know Me you can't say that. Just saying.


Why is not wanting to be with someone old enough to be your father a generalization? I don't "generalize" that there is anything wrong with those guys, it's just that I'm creeped out by the idea of fucking someone who could be my father.

Personally....since I don't have any personal photos on my profile, I find that the best way to get rid of them is to have some stock photos of some extremely obese, nasty looking women on hand. Then send them one of those photos and tell them that your free to meet on Saturday afternoon. That usually gets rid of them pretty quickly.....works for all ages too!

< Message edited by smileforme50 -- 3/12/2014 3:14:39 AM >

_____________________________

“Give it to me!” she yelled
“I’m so fucking wet! Give it to me now!”

She could scream all she wanted…..I was keeping the umbrella.

(in reply to MisterP61)
Profile   Post #: 40
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