CynthiaWVirginia
Posts: 1915
Joined: 2/28/2010
From: West Virginia, USA
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: kkaliforniaa
Having a support system is important in all aspects in life, maybe more so in regards to BDSM. The problem becomes, how do you learn if a friend of family member is open minded enough to accept your interest in the taboo? Logically, if they are open minded about some things, they might be open to others, but just because 1 + 1 = 2, doesn't mean you have two of the same item
Observe how they react to tv shows and movies that bring up D/s or kink. If you've talked about other movies with friends and family before it won't come as bolt from the blue when you bring up an issue from a movie yet again. For D/s, watch some I Love Lucy reruns, or any with an old fashioned wife who has to ask her husband's permission for everything, even to buy a dress. Laugh and bring up how funny it would be to have a show where the guy is the wife, how weird that would be and the problems it could/would cause. Hollywood has made Mr. Mom and Daddy Daycare, so...why not use whatever you need...to find out if they are in the least bit receptive or if they squick out and/or are offended. My family also watched I Dream of Jeannie and Exit to Eden, Entrapment, etc.
Ask them why are so many people talking about Shades of Grey, and if they have ever read the books and/or plan to see the movie.
In spite of everything we plan and how careful we are, some are going to be offended. I have several uncles who won't come out about being into BDSM, but they would fit right in with the "Taken in Hand" crowd...whenever we visit Ohio my mother is lectured by them (she's a widow) that she needs to get married again and SUBMIT to her husband in all things. "A woman's place" blah blah blah. If they saw bo and I shopping for clothes, and saw how he seeks out my approval before buying anything, my uncle would give bo a long lecture on "being a MAN" and controlling the wimmins in the family. (Though my mother hates to be lectured by her brothers, she herself gave my lifemate a lecture on being the man, and has given me several on being a proper wife-type/servant to the man in my life.)
The D/s is all they needed to know...so they would understand their interference in our relationship is misguided, or at the very least, amusing and merely tolerated. Mom doesn't need to know that I bend bo over the couch and take a strapon to his butt. And I don't need to know if my mom and dad gave each other oral sex, had anal, or if dad ever expected her to shave her pussy. 
On the subject of taboo... To some vanillas in this neck of the woods, West Virginia, USA, oral and anal are taboo. (I know, it boggles the mind.) To bo's mother, even meeting someone from the internet means that their morals are completely bankrupt (psst, all women met from online are whores, lol). We can try to help them understand that there's a lot of misinformation out there...and hopefully we can clear up some misunderstandings as they come up.
I like having a support system. I've found that others into M/s and D/s are more likely to be better sounding boards when I feel I can use one, because my relationship is less "traditional" role wise than among vanilla friends and family members.
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RE: Friends and family - 
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