RE: Why can't people be real or are they all just pretenders?

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RE: Why can't people be real or are they all just prete... - 7/9/2006 8:20:30 AM

Caretakr

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quote:

ORIGINAL: meatcleaver

quote:

ORIGINAL: swtnsparkling

Since the beginning of the year you have met 6. that is about one Dom a month.
Maybe take a bit longer time just talking- asking questions, after a few weeks, ask some of those same questions again see if the answer is still the same. How long will they be comfortable just talking before a face to face meeting is planned. Most pretenders talk a good talk but dont want to waste to much time on the talking stage as they usualy end up getting caught. It's hard for them to remember everything theyve said to some one if their not being honest to begin with.

I think if someone kept asking me the same questions over and over again I doubt I would take them seriously about meeting and I would probaly move on. How often do you have to tell someone something before they agree to have a cup of coffee with you in a public place? I might as well go to the local bar and sit in there for six weeks hoping to pick someone up and have a good time while I'm at it.. At least I wouldn't have to go through the groundhog day you suggest. No one is worth that hassle.

Nodding, I'd tend to think someone had a poor memory if they continually kept asking me the same things. Or that they had trust baggage that was to such an extent, that I didn't even want to bother with them.

Been there,done that, it was lunacy. There's a lot to be said for trusting your self enough to trust another. Nuerotics are not fun people to be around.

< Message edited by Caretakr -- 7/9/2006 8:22:49 AM >

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RE: Why can't people be real or are they all just prete... - 7/9/2006 1:57:35 PM

swtnsparkling

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It isn't a Ground hog day. Geez Lighten up
And I didnt say ask the same questions over and over and over. Asking twice should surfice.I don't see a dam thing wrong with that.
Like I said when the anwser is not the same as the first and beleive me I remember - then theres proof of a lie. Fakes-pretenders- are baised on lies and they cant Remember Everything they have said to Everyone. It's an easy catch.

Every single person I have spoken too and agreed to meet face to face I have. I don't say yes and then not show. But my time is important also and why should I waste it on some one who isn't what they say they are. I've met people as soon as 2 weeks to as long as 6 months. They didnt seem to mind at all.

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A "No" uttered from deepest conviction is better than a "Yes" uttered merely to please

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RE: Why can't people be real or are they all just prete... - 7/9/2006 2:24:41 PM

swtnsparkling

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Don't understand the problem you two seem to have with some one asking you a question more than once. Afriad your answers wont be the same?

quote:

after a few weeks, ask some of those same questions again see if the answer is still the same.

see where I say some again- meaning it would be the second time asked- not over and over and over.

I'll ask twice on an important topic. I don't do it because I have a bad memory I do it to check the Truth of it.

I'd done this since the beginging and never had a complaint.
Funny how the Doms I have met face to face never minded either infact commented me the asking of them. They are also free to do the same to me. I dont have a problem with a question being asked twice. I assume it is for the same reason. To check if Im leing.

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Never make anyone a priority who treats you as an option 2003

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RE: Why can't people be real or are they all just prete... - 7/9/2006 3:44:21 PM

WyrdRich

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    Just fast reply here...

    To the OP, Every veteran online claims to be special forces/covert ops, every government employee is CIA. It's not a BDSM thing or even an internet thing. It's human nature and doing it in your boxer shorts in front of a CRT is mighty easy.
     As long as you keep it harmless, it's a bit of fun. Take a look at my profile pic over there, anybody believe I'm composing this from the back of a limo? I wear a suit maybe once a year and somebody happened to get an amusing picture last time.

    People can't just be themselves because they think they would be happier as someone else.

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RE: Why can't people be real or are they all just prete... - 7/9/2006 3:46:54 PM

meatcleaver

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My answers are always the same but having had a relationship with someone with a trust problem, though it ended up that she was the one that couldn't be trusted, I just don't have the time or effort to bother. Hell, I think of her looking for explanations to PERCEIVED differences in nuance and I think I must have been mad to put up with her issues for so long. Never again.

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RE: Why can't people be real or are they all just prete... - 7/9/2006 3:52:47 PM

swtnsparkling

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I truly am sorry you went through such a thing.
I guess there is no 100% absolutely positive way to be sure in some cases.

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Never make anyone a priority who treats you as an option 2003

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A "No" uttered from deepest conviction is better than a "Yes" uttered merely to please

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RE: Why can't people be real or are they all just prete... - 7/9/2006 11:08:31 PM

EvilGeoff

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I haven't read through the whole thread, so maybe this has been touched on already. But here are some rules to keep in mind when chatting with people online:

#1 - People can be ANYTHING THEY WANT TO BE online. That guy who describes himself as a single, 30 year old, 6'1' 205 lb, airline pilot, hung with a 9" meat missle, 6-pack ab'ed, stud muffin, may, in fact, be a married 50 year old accountant who's 5'6", 240'lbs, with a 6 pack of beer and a 4" weenie.

This leads us to rule #2 - Take NO ONE, and I mean NO ONE, at face value. Even Me! *lol* Make them PROVE they are who and what they say they are. GET REFERENCES! Not just emails but either physical address for snail mail contact or telephone numbers. Once you get the references, check them out.

#3 - Look for involvement in their community. Either online or realtime. It's hard to fake a personality over long periods of time. For example, if Joe Dominant has absolutely nothing more than a profile up, I'd have serious questions about their involvement in the community. I have a HUGE volume of writing out here on the internet. I have a profile on collarme, I participate on the forums, I have over 250 messages posted. Want to know what I'm like? READ what I've written! Want more? I have a profile on Alt. I have something approaching 700 posts on Literotica. I have a web-site, and I'm on 30 some odd mail lists. I'm a member of several BDSM munch groups, I go and play at real dungeons, hell I've _presented_ on BDSM topics to several groups around the SouthEast...

Granted, I am not typical in my level of involvement in the scene, and I'm more "out" about being in the lifestyle than many folks are, but you get what I'm driving at. Anyone who claims XX number of years of experience will have someone, somewhere, who will vouche for them. If they can't give you some independent contacts, they are hiding _something_ from you, for whatever reason. Take that for what it's worth.

If they are who and what they claim to be, they can back it up with something more than "meet me at the Motel No-Tell and I'll prove what a good dominant I am!"

YIK,
- Geoff

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RE: Why can't people be real or are they all just prete... - 7/10/2006 1:48:47 AM

mons

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greeting to all

I come across some wonderful true people, who are real and want the real thing, but then i runacross fools who play games with the ideal that oh i will call or lets have a date and never do what they say. I say just twice when the screw up drop them it will be always the same and it is sad that they mess it up for all other who really are kind and sincere there nothing we can do about those types of folk but leave them alone

mons

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