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My True Self - 3/31/2014 10:15:51 PM

CobaltRose

Posts: 246
Joined: 11/10/2013
Status: offline

After many, many years of soul searching (had it in my head since i was 15), i was finally able to admit this to myself: i am a girl. All the years of denial, afraid of peoples judgement, no wonder i been so depressed. I am gonna remove my picture and my profile info. Im only gonna be here forthe forums until i am fully changed. I am not joking i really fel this way. My dom side was just my denial. I hope people take me seriously. Because i live with an ignorant brother who thinks only born females are real girls, and a very unsuportive family, barring perhaps one. I need some emotional support. I never got the chance to dress like one but i always felt happier pretending to be a girl. I grew out my beard because i was so confused. I thought something was wrong with me, that i had to be manly to get my desire to be female out of my head. But no, i need to embrace it. Now, first step, finding a way to painlessly remove my body and facial hair. I SUCK at shaving myself. Next step, getting money for hormones. Final step, surgery. This is NOT a kink, or a fetish. I dont care if iam a sexy girl or not, as long as im a girl. Because deep down ialways hated being a guy. I just been too afraid to admit because i thought i was a sinner, that i was evil for feeling that way.

Also, just so everyone knows, this is NOT AN APRIL FOOLS JOKE. i really should have waited a day.

< Message edited by CobaltRose -- 3/31/2014 11:14:29 PM >

Post #: 1

RE: My True Self - 4/1/2014 1:36:30 AM

MasterCaneman

Posts: 3842
Joined: 3/21/2013
Status: offline

CobaltRose, I've read your posts, and not to dismiss you here, but Intros are just for, well, introductions. You should have put this in someplace like Off-Topic or Polls & Random Stupidity (not that it's a stupid post, just the name of the forum). Eventually, a mod will come along and move it, but just to let you know now, you should place your posts in the proper place in the future. Have a good one.

_____________________________

Age and treachery will always overcome youth and ambition.

The supreme art of war is to subdue the enemy without fighting. ~ Sun Tzu

Goddess Wrangler

(in reply to CobaltRose)

Post #: 2

RE: My True Self - 4/1/2014 3:43:59 AM

CobaltRose

Posts: 246
Joined: 11/10/2013
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterCaneman

CobaltRose, I've read your posts, and not to dismiss you here, but Intros are just for, well, introductions. You should have put this in someplace like Off-Topic or Polls & Random Stupidity (not that it's a stupid post, just the name of the forum). Eventually, a mod will come along and move it, but just to let you know now, you should place your posts in the proper place in the future. Have a good one.

I just thought this post was important, and to me its symbolically me really starting here. but i understand.i just put it here because i was sfraid if i put it anywhere else people would not take me serriously.

Also just so people know no im not expecting any donations. All i need is support and encouragement. I'll get the money myself. Because i understand therevare a lot of scammers out the who would use this same kind of story to get free money.

< Message edited by CobaltRose -- 4/1/2014 3:59:19 AM >

(in reply to MasterCaneman)

Post #: 3

RE: My True Self - 4/1/2014 4:17:17 AM

FightingChains

Posts: 293
Joined: 3/18/2014
Status: offline

Hi Cobalt,

We'll take you seriously. People here are pretty open to stuff like that. I'm glad you're a little more open about the truth with yourself. The important thing is to be honest with yourself, comfortable in who/what you are, and then everything else will flow from that.

_____________________________

"Get comfortable in your skin; you're going to be in it for a while."

(in reply to CobaltRose)

Post #: 4

RE: My True Self - 4/1/2014 4:34:31 AM

ChatteParfaitt

Posts: 6562
Joined: 3/22/2011
From: The t'aint of the Midwest -- Indiana
Status: offline

Welcome to the *other* side of CM Cobalt. It takes a lot of guts and sometimes years of self reflection to do what you're doing. I admire your strength and sense of purpose in this. I suspect it's a hard road you've decided to travel on, and I wish you the best on your journey.

_____________________________

(in reply to CobaltRose)

Post #: 5

RE: My True Self - 4/1/2014 4:49:20 AM

CobaltRose

Posts: 246
Joined: 11/10/2013
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ChatteParfaitt

Welcome to the *other* side of CM Cobalt. It takes a lot of guts and sometimes years of self reflection to do what you're doing. I admire your strength and sense of purpose in this. I suspect it's a hard road you've decided to travel on, and I wish you the best on your journey.

Thanks! I would love some advice from some other former transexuals who faced similar problems. Also, is it wrong i consider the term transexual only usable while in transition, and once they complete the transition through surgery, they cease being transexuals and are now fully female or male?

(in reply to ChatteParfaitt)

Post #: 6

RE: My True Self - 4/1/2014 4:59:40 AM

Rasciallymisty

Posts: 5749
Joined: 4/16/2012
Status: offline

Hi Cobalt..... hopefully someone will come along and move this for you so that more people will see it and can respond back to you. Here in intro we just meet and greet newbies. Best of luck to you.

_____________________________

~misty~

Been here since 2004

Fear has two meanings: "Forget Everything And Run" or "Face Everything And Rise." The choice is yours!!!!!

(in reply to CobaltRose)

Post #: 7

RE: My True Self - 4/1/2014 5:06:58 AM

Moderator3

Posts: 3289
Status: offline

Moved from Intros.

Have a wonderful day.

(in reply to Rasciallymisty)

Post #: 8

RE: My True Self - 4/1/2014 5:22:20 AM

ARIES83

Posts: 3648
Status: offline

quote:

Also just so people know no im not expecting any donations. All i need is support and encouragement. I'll get the money myself. Because i understand therevare a lot of scammers out the who would use this same kind of story to get free money.

Luckily, I feel the chances of anyone from here deciding to give you money are close to nonexistent ,so you need not worry about that happening. I am however quite sure you will find buckets full of support and encouragement.

I wish you all the best in your journey.

< Message edited by ARIES83 -- 4/1/2014 5:28:02 AM >

_____________________________

530 DAYS

(in reply to Moderator3)

Post #: 9

RE: My True Self - 4/1/2014 5:23:26 AM

DaddySatyr

Posts: 9381
Joined: 8/29/2011
From: Pittston, Pennsyltucky
Status: offline

Isn't it a wonderful thing when we discover something about our self?

Isn't it liberating when we feel comfortable enough to say it, out loud?

Isn't it great that we live in times when it's not quite as difficult as it used to be?

Good luck to you.

Screen captures STILL RULE! Ya feel me?

< Message edited by DaddySatyr -- 4/1/2014 5:33:46 AM >

_____________________________

A Stone in My Shoe

Screen captures (and pissing on shadows) still RULE! Ya feel me?

"For that which I love, I will do horrible things"

(in reply to CobaltRose)

Post #: 10

RE: My True Self - 4/1/2014 5:28:20 AM

Kaliko

Posts: 3381
Joined: 9/25/2010
Status: offline

CobaltRose, I've not seen your other posts so maybe you are already well aware of this, but perhaps you might want to look in on FetLife and see if there are groups close to where you live to give you some support while you start your journey? Surely you're not alone.

Good luck.

(in reply to CobaltRose)

Post #: 11

RE: My True Self - 4/1/2014 6:06:45 AM

DarkSteven

Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: CobaltRose

quote:

ORIGINAL: ChatteParfaitt

Welcome to the *other* side of CM Cobalt. It takes a lot of guts and sometimes years of self reflection to do what you're doing. I admire your strength and sense of purpose in this. I suspect it's a hard road you've decided to travel on, and I wish you the best on your journey.

Thanks! I would love some advice from some other former transexuals who faced similar problems. Also, is it wrong i consider the term transexual only usable while in transition, and once they complete the transition through surgery, they cease being transexuals and are now fully female or male?

Yes, it's technically wrong. Transsexuals themselves (the more general term is transgender) consider anyone to be TS if they feel mentally that they're a different gender than their body was born. A lot of MtFs don't get the SRS because of the money, and refer to themselves as pre-ops or non-ops, and pass perfectly well.

A few generalities:

The TGs I know, all realized at the age of three or four that something was wrong.

It ain't cheap. The hair removal is usually done via electrolysis. The hormones are the next step, followed by sexual reassignment surgery. There are also minor surgeries to reshape the face, reduce the Adam's apple, etc. SRS alone costs $20K - $30K in the USA, but is cheaper in Thailand.

Ease up on your family. It's not their place to change their views. You never know how they will react until you transition. Some are supportive and some are not.

If you're still living at home, I'd recommend moving out. And securing a good career ASAP.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to CobaltRose)

Post #: 12

RE: My True Self - 4/1/2014 6:16:48 AM

CobaltRose

Posts: 246
Joined: 11/10/2013
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

quote:

ORIGINAL: CobaltRose

quote:

ORIGINAL: ChatteParfaitt

Welcome to the *other* side of CM Cobalt. It takes a lot of guts and sometimes years of self reflection to do what you're doing. I admire your strength and sense of purpose in this. I suspect it's a hard road you've decided to travel on, and I wish you the best on your journey.

Thanks! I would love some advice from some other former transexuals who faced similar problems. Also, is it wrong i consider the term transexual only usable while in transition, and once they complete the transition through surgery, they cease being transexuals and are now fully female or male?

Yes, it's technically wrong. Transsexuals themselves (the more general term is transgender) consider anyone to be TS if they feel mentally that they're a different gender than their body was born. A lot of MtFs don't get the SRS because of the money, and refer to themselves as pre-ops or non-ops, and pass perfectly well.

A few generalities:

The TGs I know, all realized at the age of three or four that something was wrong.

It ain't cheap. The hair removal is usually done via electrolysis. The hormones are the next step, followed by sexual reassignment surgery. There are also minor surgeries to reshape the face, reduce the Adam's apple, etc. SRS alone costs $20K - $30K in the USA, but is cheaper in Thailand.

Ease up on your family. It's not their place to change their views. You never know how they will react until you transition. Some are supportive and some are not.

If you're still living at home, I'd recommend moving out. And securing a good career ASAP.

I was also worried that since i didnt realise my gender identity at an early age, people would not take me seriously.

(in reply to DarkSteven)

Post #: 13

RE: My True Self - 4/1/2014 9:25:17 AM

CobaltRose

Posts: 246
Joined: 11/10/2013
Status: offline

I dont want to be a girl becausei think it will be easier. My life ispretty damn easy. I know it will be harder as a girl. And maybe thats a good thing. Because no matter what as a girl i will be happier. NOTHING WORTH DOING IS EASY.

< Message edited by CobaltRose -- 4/1/2014 9:27:00 AM >

(in reply to CobaltRose)

Post #: 14

RE: My True Self - 4/1/2014 1:06:02 PM

GoddessManko

Posts: 2257
Joined: 3/6/2013
From: Dante's Inferno
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: CobaltRose

I dont want to be a girl becausei think it will be easier. My life ispretty damn easy. I know it will be harder as a girl. And maybe thats a good thing. Because no matter what as a girl i will be happier. NOTHING WORTH DOING IS EASY.

On another thread you said you wanted to be a Dom, then a service top, then a sub (in a matter of moments) and now Trans submissive.
I get it, you're young, you're conflicted and you're still trying to find yourself.
I think you need some time by yourself to figure out what you truly want and when you have complete affirmation in that decision then think about searching for a relationship that complements that and you as an individual. I remember 21, very confusing time, I even had reclusive moments but you'll weather the storm and emerge anew.
You're kind of helter skelter right now and it's a tad alarming if I was considering you as a partner. I suggest you go to college, make some friends, get some hobbies. Do vanilla activities with other people, watch anime, travel, work on a farm (I did, horse farms are always hiring), do SOMETHING in the meantime that will help you develop the person you are meant to be.

_____________________________

Happy consent is the name of the game. You are my perfect Mistress. - my collared.

http://submissivemale.blogspot.com/

The Bird of Hermes is my name, eating my wings to make me tame.

(in reply to CobaltRose)

Post #: 15

RE: My True Self - 4/1/2014 1:15:57 PM

GoddessManko

Posts: 2257
Joined: 3/6/2013
From: Dante's Inferno
Status: offline

PS: Working out gives me clarity, before I found a workout regimen I was not the person I am today. Go on youtube, find some workout videos and get those endorphines going which will help your mood, overall self confidence and self perception in a major way.
I saw your pic, your are INCREDIBLY handsome. Now if you fine tune some other areas of your life you will thrive as a person. I'm 10 years older than you, you have all the time in the world for self discovery. Workout, get a college degree (at home if you want.) Become a productive member of society. If you get a BA in Computer Science you are GUARANTEED A JOB.

For inspiration watch this video of a 70 day transformation. Think of what you did in the past 70 days. You can transform yourself in that amount of time by investing as much time into your health as watching HALF of a movie, or two cartoons back to back. This might sound stupid but I downloaded this messenger called paltalk. On days when I found it hard to workout I would start my cam and do my workout on cam just to have that social setting to motivate, knowing people are watching makes you work that much harder.
I recommend the Insanity workout, you can google not only the workout itself and stream it online but the calendar itself is among google images. The first couple weeks will suck but by the third week you'll be all "woohoo, bring it bitch!"
This is the kind of advice I would hope someone older would give me if I was your age. One single interaction can change your life.
Link to 70 Days Inspiration

< Message edited by GoddessManko -- 4/1/2014 1:18:12 PM >

_____________________________

Happy consent is the name of the game. You are my perfect Mistress. - my collared.

http://submissivemale.blogspot.com/

The Bird of Hermes is my name, eating my wings to make me tame.

(in reply to GoddessManko)

Post #: 16

RE: My True Self - 4/1/2014 1:21:00 PM

CobaltRose

Posts: 246
Joined: 11/10/2013
Status: offline

I dont plan on dating anyone until the transition is complete. I wanna be a sissyCD, this is very true. I wantto be seen as a girl, but keep my penis (which i would oike to calk my sissy clit). Is this wrong?

(in reply to GoddessManko)

Post #: 17

RE: My True Self - 4/1/2014 1:28:13 PM

GoddessManko

Posts: 2257
Joined: 3/6/2013
From: Dante's Inferno
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: CobaltRose

I dont plan on dating anyone until the transition is complete. I wanna be a sissyCD, this is very true. I wantto be seen as a girl, but keep my penis (which i would oike to calk my sissy clit). Is this wrong?

No but yesterday you wanted to be three other things. OK, well good luck with all that. Ensue.

_____________________________

Happy consent is the name of the game. You are my perfect Mistress. - my collared.

http://submissivemale.blogspot.com/

The Bird of Hermes is my name, eating my wings to make me tame.

(in reply to CobaltRose)

Post #: 18

RE: My True Self - 4/1/2014 1:53:54 PM

FeralFoxy

Posts: 82
Joined: 3/8/2014
Status: offline

You're in the U.S., so your very first step will be to find a therapist. I suggest you figure out which college in your area has a Masters program, and ask if their students offer free or discounted therapy. That's assuming that you either don't have insurance, or are still have on parents plan, but would rather not talk to them about this yet.

_____________________________

TransFarmer

formerly maxsboy

(in reply to GoddessManko)

Post #: 19

RE: My True Self - 4/1/2014 4:18:08 PM

CobaltRose

Posts: 246
Joined: 11/10/2013
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: FeralFoxy

You're in the U.S., so your very first step will be to find a therapist. I suggest you figure out which college in your area has a Masters program, and ask if their students offer free or discounted therapy. That's assuming that you either don't have insurance, or are still have on parents plan, but would rather not talk to them about this yet.

Still on parents plan. Im sure i will figure out something.

(in reply to FeralFoxy)

Post #: 20

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