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Would real subs ever speak down to a dom? - 4/9/2014 8:49:28 PM

ali3findomme

Posts: 2
Joined: 3/29/2014
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This is a reply I got from a 'sub', which was very uncalled for.

He asked me if I wanted to do things that I specifically stated I did NOT want to do on my profile, and slide away from my findom fetish for his own wants, so yes, I got angry, but this is the racist response I got back.

Personally I don't think talking down to a woman is very 'submissive' like :) nor is telling a dom to basically ignore their fetish just so their fetish needs can be fulfilled.
what do y'all think? :)

edit: if you cannot see the image, it is basically a self proclaimed sub telling me that I am 'mongrel-raced'. I am mixed. How sweet.

Attachment (1)

< Message edited by ali3findomme -- 4/9/2014 8:50:36 PM >

Post #: 1

RE: Would real subs ever speak down to a dom? - 4/9/2014 9:02:47 PM

DarkSteven

Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
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Of course they will.

A sub is submissive ONLY to his or her Dom/me and has no obligation to show anything but common courtesy to anyone else.

You'll get old prematurely worrying about people who won't do as you like. Block and delete instead.

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The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

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RE: Would real subs ever speak down to a dom? - 4/9/2014 9:02:58 PM

Dvr22999874

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Joined: 9/11/2008
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Apart from some of the tribes in Africa or maybe South America that have had little or no interaction with the outside world, I don't know of ANY race that isn't a mongrel of some sort. I know I am and I can trace MY family back to 1066 but there is a rare old mixture both before and after that time, so maybe you should take it as a compliment to be called a mongrel. You are mixing some VERY special people there *smile*.
Good luck to you and your endeavours.
Rob and saraah

(in reply to ali3findomme)

Post #: 3

RE: Would real subs ever speak down to a dom? - 4/9/2014 9:24:54 PM

FriendlyMuppet

Posts: 171
Joined: 11/16/2010
From: Corpus Christi, Texas
Status: offline

Personally, if you let things like this bother you then you're probably in for a lot more bothersome behavior in the future. There are people out there who when they don't get what they want provided for them, will turn on you in a heart beat. The lines of "this is sub behavior and this is not" really don't mean the same thing to everyone, and in this case you obviously got one whose lines are different than yours. While I wouldn't talk down to a woman (like you mentioned), I'd believe my type of behavior is more a rarity in these circumstances than the norm. You're going to run into all sorts of submissives, quasi-submissives, pretend submissives and those who are everything and all in between, which means some don't even think polite conversation is a respect thing and will basically treat you like some faceless creature on the Internet.

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RE: Would real subs ever speak down to a dom? - 4/9/2014 9:26:07 PM

searching4mysir

Posts: 2757
Joined: 6/16/2011
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FR

Yes. I've spoken down to "doms" before. Just because they click a certain checkbox on a website, doesn't make them dominant, let alone MY dominant.

D/s is a two-way street. The sub has to get something out of it too. What he showed you was that you were not compatible, not that he wasn't a "real sub".

I can't see the attachment, so I don't know how "racist" it is, but racism is a different story and has nothing to do with D/s.

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RE: Would real subs ever speak down to a dom? - 4/9/2014 10:37:34 PM

seekingreality

Posts: 599
Joined: 8/11/2011
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ali3findomme

This is a reply I got from a 'sub', which was very uncalled for.

He asked me if I wanted to do things that I specifically stated I did NOT want to do on my profile, and slide away from my findom fetish for his own wants, so yes, I got angry, but this is the racist response I got back.

Personally I don't think talking down to a woman is very 'submissive' like :) nor is telling a dom to basically ignore their fetish just so their fetish needs can be fulfilled.
what do y'all think? :)

edit: if you cannot see the image, it is basically a self proclaimed sub telling me that I am 'mongrel-raced'. I am mixed. How sweet.

1. Not sure why you care about random comments from online strangers, but that's your business.
2. I don't believe in "real" subs. There isn't one correct way to be a sub.
3. Just because someone labels himself as submissive that doesn't mean he has to be submissive to every woman who labels herself a dome
4. Someone on a kinky Internet site contacts you and wants to focus on his own fetish and not yours? Wow - alert the media!

(in reply to ali3findomme)

Post #: 6

RE: Would real subs ever speak down to a dom? - 4/9/2014 11:19:16 PM

FieryOpal

Posts: 2821
Joined: 12/8/2013
From: Maryland
Status: offline

My dear ali, you made the cardinal mistake upon signing up of putting "findomme" right there in your user name.
Every Tom, Dick & Harry who has nothing better to do than to mess with a fin-Domme will hone in on you pretending to be a sub and lead you around in circles.
Don't underestimate how reviled fin-Dommery is to genuine (male) subs either.
You're in a no-win situation, unless you want to waste more of your time than you ordinarily would be doing with guys trying to get a free camshow out of you without paying you one red cent.

As for me, I don't tolerate disrespect of any kind from a man, no matter what sort of man. Even if I weren't a Domme, I won't tolerate it as a woman.
Nor do I feel induced to in any way, shape or form. I don't want to hear a laundry list of kinks & fetishes. I could care less on initial contact.
If a man doesn't have any social graces, he's already excluded himself from my notice.

In the forefront of your mind, remember that you are the Dominant one, then lead by example.
You decide what you want to encourage or discourage, and you set your own terms.
I am also mixed, although I don't particularly like that term. Someone else who is bi-racial once said he sees himself as a mixed cocktail, an improvement.
I haven't been insulted since I was in jr. high school. And that was being called a derogatory name of the wrong nationality.
Don't set yourself up to be disrespected like this from lower-than-Neanderthal lifeforms, brush it off, and carry on with your head held up high.

[Edited for tense]

< Message edited by FieryOpal -- 4/9/2014 11:20:13 PM >

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RE: Would real subs ever speak down to a dom? - 4/10/2014 12:22:47 AM

stef

Posts: 10215
Joined: 1/26/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ali3findomme

Personally I don't think talking down to a woman is very 'submissive' like :) nor is telling a dom to basically ignore their fetish just so their fetish needs can be fulfilled.
what do y'all think? :)

If he's not YOUR submissive, then he can speak to you however he likes. Besides, maybe he thought some 19 year old Paypal Princess wasn't a real dominant?

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RE: Would real subs ever speak down to a dom? - 4/10/2014 4:53:33 AM

thishereboi

Posts: 14463
Joined: 6/19/2008
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While I agree that that was a very shitty thing to send you I am not a bit surprised they did it. I hate to disappoint but your profile screams "send me shitty messages". It's kinda like an online double dog dare you and there are a lot of people who won't be able to pass that up.

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RE: Would real subs ever speak down to a dom? - 4/10/2014 5:51:56 AM

windchymes

Posts: 9410
Joined: 4/18/2005
Status: offline

Yes, subs are rude, too. And dommes aren't entitled to respect from anyone simply because they say they're a domme.

Not saying what he called you wasn't very shitty and inappropriate. But no one is exempt from rudeness, it can happen to you anywhere.

< Message edited by windchymes -- 4/10/2014 5:53:36 AM >

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RE: Would real subs ever speak down to a dom? - 4/10/2014 7:11:41 AM

realtuffdom

Posts: 108
Joined: 7/16/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: thishereboi

While I agree that that was a very shitty thing to send you I am not a bit surprised they did it. I hate to disappoint but your profile screams "send me shitty messages". It's kinda like an online double dog dare you and there are a lot of people who won't be able to pass that up.

I'm glad someone else said this, because I had the exact same thought myself, and this is coming from someone whose own profile is somewhat of a joke.

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RE: Would real subs ever speak down to a dom? - 4/10/2014 7:33:48 AM

DarkSteven

Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
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realtuffdom sighting!!!!!!

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The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

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Post #: 12

RE: Would real subs ever speak down to a dom? - 4/10/2014 7:39:16 AM

kalikshama

Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline

Sweetie, findommes get a ton of abuse. Don't engage - Block and Delete.

(in reply to ali3findomme)

Post #: 13

RE: Would real subs ever speak down to a dom? - 4/10/2014 11:21:27 AM

NiceButMeanGirl

Posts: 2756
Joined: 11/4/2011
From: Bellingham, WA U.S.A.
Status: offline

Ali, just because someone is a submissive, it does not mean he's your submissive. If he's not yours, you are not entitled to any more respect from him than anyone else who walks this planet. Plus, findommes receive a lot of abuse and insults, especially online. Not to be disrespectful(I know you hate that) but you might need to develop a thicker skin. Have a great day.

NBMG

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RE: Would real subs ever speak down to a dom? - 4/10/2014 6:05:55 PM

RemoteUser

Posts: 2854
Joined: 5/10/2011
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I would hope that subs would speak down to Doms.

Without that, where would funishment be? Who would prick the over inflated egos that come along? And as you might have noticed, if a sub crosses a line that the Dom doesn't like, it tells you that they aren't the right person for you, and you can keep moving along.

Letting people be themselves is a fantastic form of education.

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RE: Would real subs ever speak down to a dom? - 4/10/2014 10:03:58 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

Considering your profile, I'm surprised you haven't gotten more nasty comments. After all, you speak nastily about all subs. So why shouldn't they return the favor?

A suggestion, go to community college instead of thinking you can find people who will be happy to support you in a lifestyle to which you would like to become used to. It's much more realistic and deserving of respect.

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RE: Would real subs ever speak down to a dom? - 4/11/2014 8:03:55 AM

InHisHeart

Posts: 630
Joined: 3/22/2014
Status: offline

I'm polite to Doms and subs alike just as I am to anyone who crosses my path. With that said, I have no problem telling someone to F off (including a Dom) if they talk down to me. Just because someone is or claims to be a Dom/me doesn't mean a submissive or anyone owes them anything. Respect in my book is earned, it's not just given simply because they call themselves a Dom/me. I'm submissive only to my Dom, if that means I'm not a "real" sub so be it.

I couldn't see the attachment you posted but racial BS doesn't belong anywhere.

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RE: Would real subs ever speak down to a dom? - 4/11/2014 8:19:44 AM

ChatteParfaitt

Posts: 6562
Joined: 3/22/2011
From: The t'aint of the Midwest -- Indiana
Status: offline

You are a 19 year old (supposed) fin domme. You can scream in your profile all you want about what you will and will not tolerate. Ho hum. Few people read profiles; they perv your pics and dash off a message.

Get used to it. That you are so emotionally involved in the response you got from a stranger tells me you have no business being a dominant to anyone, fin or not. You just don't have the needed maturity.

Now, if you equate fin domme with spoiled, egocentric princess type who deserves a free ride, carry on. Just be aware there are few willing to give you whatever you want b/c you might send them pics. Wanker pics are all over the net and not hard to find.

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RE: Would real subs ever speak down to a dom? - 4/11/2014 9:30:21 PM

bowedB4Women

Posts: 45
Joined: 2/7/2014
Status: offline

I would avoid it myself, a real lack of respect must be present, also note my name, no man is my dominant. ( just for clarification ) I also don't become disrespectful unless boundaries need reinforcement. But in a sub position would be selling my self out with something like that.

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Post #: 19

RE: Would real subs ever speak down to a dom? - 4/13/2014 11:45:53 PM

sandyTheSub

Posts: 24
Joined: 4/13/2014
Status: offline

My Master would never allow me to talk down to someone, Dom or not.
But this is his choice. If I am angry at something I curse and if I am angry at someone I shout at them. This does not make it acceptable behaviour (even for a Dom it is not acceptable to try to hurt someones feelings) but we all are only human. So if one is angry, they are going to act it out.
Though it all is a matter of what is the reason the person is so angry. Maybe they had a bad day or something just ticked them off - I don't think it is acceptable to ever lash out like that, but even subs are only people ;)

(in reply to bowedB4Women)

Post #: 20

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