FieryOpal
Posts: 2821
Joined: 12/8/2013
From: Maryland
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Telios
I have pondered every response, and I thank all for your thoughts. I feel better now, and, more enlightened than I was before I had asked. Thank you.
You're welcome in advance with me because I didn't directly address the questions you posed. There are different kinds of Dommes, just as there are different kinds of submissives, and not everybody is looking for the same thing.
To get back on topic, you asked:
OP Telios, "Am I a service submissive? Or something else?"
Being a service submissive has a distinct meaning to some. Most, if not all, genuinely submissive (i.e. those seeking a D/s relationship dynamic, not merely BDSM play activity) people are service-oriented.
Being service-oriented per "one who gains pleasure out of doing things that are pleasing to others." is a part of this.
If I were you, though, I wouldn't go around calling myself a "service submissive" unless you are willing to accept limitations in the scope of your D/s relationship.
I say this because when I hear other Dommes refer to their service submissive(s), they mean it in a non-sexual way. Even providing personal services is done non-sexually.
One example of this would be a Domme and sub who have an arrangement that he comes over every weekend or every other weekend to do work around her house of either a domestic service nature or handyman-laborer type of work.
In that instance, he may be normally clothed while outdoors, but while indoors, may want to be half naked or wear a maid's outfit, or be completely nude. There is a Domme who lets her non-sexual service subs wear diapers on occasion.
A personal service sub may give mani-pedis, fix hair, perform services of a more personal nature with a variable degree of intimacy involved.
I would consider the services provided by a sub to be more of a work-for-Domination or barter-for-BDSM-play arrangement between the two. There are subs who offer their services for bondage or impact play. Others are content to gratify their fetish (being naked or [cross-]dressed a certain way) in exchange for their services. There might even be subs who are willing to pay for these "privileges,"  but in general the services being rendered are counted as the sub's contribution to the (non-sexual) D/s relationship dynamic.
If this isn't what you're looking for, then don't settle for less than what you have realistically envisioned in your D/s relationship dynamic.
BDSM is separate in that if you are just out to satisfy your particular fetish and/or kink - which is the basis in which I was addressing eulero's posts - and are merely a bottom seeking play with a female to Top you, not a physically intimate long-term or relationship with your Mistress, then don't expect your Top to subsidize your cravings to engage in BDSM play without offering to cover any associated costs and fees. As a matter of fact, you wouldn't even need a Dominant female to fulfill your Topping needs, just somebody to act as a service Top.
IMHO, some on-line or cyber-Domme telling you that a "service submissive is...someone who contributes resources to the dominant partner" is full of shite. This has nothing to do with being a service sub.
_____________________________
Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage. - Lao Tzu
There is no remedy for love but to love more. - Thoreau
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RE: What exactly is a "service submissive"? - 
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