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RE: What exactly is a "service submissive"? - 6/29/2014 9:02:13 PM   
FieryOpal


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From: Maryland
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quote:

ORIGINAL: thompsonx

ORIGINAL: FieryOpal

I don't do service subs, and my bitchboy would not be a service sub in the first place.

Hmmmmmmm....you would rather eat at jack in the box than have your bitch,the gourmet chef, cook for you?

Hey, if he's a gourmet chef, you're damn straight he'll be doing a shitload of cooking. But I'm also a good cook, so I wouldn't make him do an inordinate amount of it, and this would not make him my service slave. It wouldn't be much different than in a regular vanilla relationship, with division of labor as intimate partners. Nor would this give him any entitlements to have his fetishes and/or kinks get catered to, or else I would just be filling the role of his service Top. And that ain't happening, no way José.

_____________________________

Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage. - Lao Tzu
There is no remedy for love but to love more. - Thoreau

(in reply to thompsonx)
Profile   Post #: 61
RE: What exactly is a "service submissive"? - 6/30/2014 6:08:17 AM   
MercTech


Posts: 3706
Joined: 7/4/2006
Status: offline 		Service submissive may or may not be sexually related.
That should come out in the negotiations for service.

I know a guy that likes humilitation. He is useful sometimes.... after renovating the bathroom he got to dress in a frilly maid's outfit and clean the grout in the tiles with a toothbrush. Meh, I appreciated the help and didn't mind if he got a thrill out of it.


(in reply to FieryOpal)
Profile   Post #: 62
RE: What exactly is a "service submissive"? - 6/30/2014 9:00:02 AM   
thompsonx


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Joined: 10/1/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MercTech

Service submissive may or may not be sexually related.
That should come out in the negotiations for service.

I know a guy that likes humilitation. He is useful sometimes.... after renovating the bathroom he got to dress in a frilly maid's outfit and clean the grout in the tiles with a toothbrush. Meh, I appreciated the help and didn't mind if he got a thrill out of it.



Do I understand you correctly? You allowed a journey wood butcher to renovate your bathroom and his pay was being allowed to do it in a dress?

(in reply to MercTech)
Profile   Post #: 63
RE: What exactly is a "service submissive"? - 6/30/2014 9:03:49 AM   
thompsonx


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ORIGINAL: FieryOpal
Hey, if he's a gourmet chef, you're damn straight he'll be doing a shitload of cooking. But I'm also a good cook, so I wouldn't make him do an inordinate amount of it, and this would not make him my service slave. It wouldn't be much different than in a regular vanilla relationship, with division of labor as intimate partners. Nor would this give him any entitlements to have his fetishes and/or kinks get catered to, or else I would just be filling the role of his service Top. And that ain't happening, no way José.

Do I understand you correctly? In a vanilla relationship you would fuck this guys brains out but in a d/s relationship he has to do something more to get to your pink parts?

(in reply to FieryOpal)
Profile   Post #: 64
RE: What exactly is a "service submissive"? - 6/30/2014 9:12:02 AM   
FieryOpal


Posts: 2821
Joined: 12/8/2013
From: Maryland
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: thompsonx

ORIGINAL: FieryOpal

Hey, if he's a gourmet chef, you're damn straight he'll be doing a shitload of cooking. But I'm also a good cook, so I wouldn't make him do an inordinate amount of it, and this would not make him my service slave. It wouldn't be much different than in a regular vanilla relationship, with division of labor as intimate partners. Nor would this give him any entitlements to have his fetishes and/or kinks get catered to, or else I would just be filling the role of his service Top. And that ain't happening, no way José.

Do I understand you correctly? In a vanilla relationship you would fuck this guys brains out but in a d/s relationship he has to do something more to get to your pink parts?


I never said I would ever let this (gourmet chef) guy get anywhere near my naughty bits. In fact, if he weren't submissive, he wouldn't stand a chance to begin with. Comprenez-vous?

_____________________________

Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage. - Lao Tzu
There is no remedy for love but to love more. - Thoreau

(in reply to thompsonx)
Profile   Post #: 65
RE: What exactly is a "service submissive"? - 6/30/2014 9:19:42 AM   
thompsonx


Posts: 23322
Joined: 10/1/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: FieryOpal


quote:

ORIGINAL: thompsonx

ORIGINAL: FieryOpal

Hey, if he's a gourmet chef, you're damn straight he'll be doing a shitload of cooking. But I'm also a good cook, so I wouldn't make him do an inordinate amount of it, and this would not make him my service slave. It wouldn't be much different than in a regular vanilla relationship, with division of labor as intimate partners. Nor would this give him any entitlements to have his fetishes and/or kinks get catered to, or else I would just be filling the role of his service Top. And that ain't happening, no way José.

Do I understand you correctly? In a vanilla relationship you would fuck this guys brains out but in a d/s relationship he has to do something more to get to your pink parts?


I never said I would ever let this (gourmet chef) guy get anywhere near my naughty bits.
Being in a vanilla relationship typically the boi and the gurl sleep together...thus my assertion since you mentioned a vanilla relationship.




In fact, if he weren't submissive, he wouldn't stand a chance to begin with. Comprenez-vous?
You were the one who brought the vanilla relationship to the discussion. I was just following suit.
Je comprends

(in reply to FieryOpal)
Profile   Post #: 66
RE: What exactly is a "service submissive"? - 6/30/2014 9:58:01 AM   
FieryOpal


Posts: 2821
Joined: 12/8/2013
From: Maryland
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: FieryOpal
....
It wouldn't be much different than in a regular vanilla relationship, with division of labor as intimate partners.
....
quote:

ORIGINAL: thompsonx

Being in a vanilla relationship typically the boi and the gurl sleep together...thus my assertion since you mentioned a vanilla relationship.

You were the one who brought the vanilla relationship to the discussion. I was just following suit.
Je comprends

The similarity being that in a regular vanilla relationship as well as in our D/s relationship dynamic, we would take turns doing the cooking, should both of us be skilled at doing so.

Back to the hypothetical gourmet chef, submissive or not. If I were dating him, he would more than likely want to impress me with his abilities, perhaps invite me over for dinner. He could offer to whip up every meal for me, but I wouldn't accept such an offer as a shortcut to getting into my pants, regardless. He would still have to prove himself in other ways before I would accept him as a sexual partner. There are no shortcuts with me, in either capacity.

_____________________________

Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage. - Lao Tzu
There is no remedy for love but to love more. - Thoreau

(in reply to thompsonx)
Profile   Post #: 67
RE: What exactly is a "service submissive"? - 6/30/2014 10:15:33 AM   
thompsonx


Posts: 23322
Joined: 10/1/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: FieryOpal

quote:

ORIGINAL: FieryOpal
....
It wouldn't be much different than in a regular vanilla relationship, with division of labor as intimate partners.
....
quote:

ORIGINAL: thompsonx

Being in a vanilla relationship typically the boi and the gurl sleep together...thus my assertion since you mentioned a vanilla relationship.

You were the one who brought the vanilla relationship to the discussion. I was just following suit.
Je comprends

The similarity being that in a regular vanilla relationship as well as in our D/s relationship dynamic, we would take turns doing the cooking, should both of us be skilled at doing so.

Back to the hypothetical gourmet chef, submissive or not. If I were dating him, he would more than likely want to impress me with his abilities, perhaps invite me over for dinner. He could offer to whip up every meal for me, but I wouldn't accept such an offer as a shortcut to getting into my pants, regardless. He would still have to prove himself in other ways before I would accept him as a sexual partner. There are no shortcuts with me, in either capacity.


Initially we were discussing he being a gourmet cook and she being able to make instant coffee and toast. Thus him bringing a unique skill set to the relationship. This would, of course, hold true in a vanilla relationship also. But the point remains unanswered...he does not come to the table empty handed looking to get over on someone.
Him inviting her over for dinner is part of courting(chassing pussy). We are not speaking of short cuts but typically a boi chases a gurl until she catches him. If she does not want to catch him he can chase till there is 40' of snow in furnace creek and it "ain't gonna happen". Quality is typically more expensive...It typically is not kept in plane view. Thus the need for a lengthy inspection.

(in reply to FieryOpal)
Profile   Post #: 68
RE: What exactly is a "service submissive"? - 6/30/2014 10:45:16 AM   
FieryOpal


Posts: 2821
Joined: 12/8/2013
From: Maryland
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: thompsonx

Initially we were discussing he being a gourmet cook and she being able to make instant coffee and toast. Thus him bringing a unique skill set to the relationship. This would, of course, hold true in a vanilla relationship also. But the point remains unanswered...he does not come to the table empty handed looking to get over on someone.
Him inviting her over for dinner is part of courting(chassing pussy). We are not speaking of short cuts but typically a boi chases a gurl until she catches him. If she does not want to catch him he can chase till there is 40' of snow in furnace creek and it "ain't gonna happen". Quality is typically more expensive...It typically is not kept in plane view. Thus the need for a lengthy inspection.
Would you care to explain this in plain American English, garçon?

You did not stipulate that said submissive gourmet chef was offering his services to a Domme who could burn toast. If that were the case, that Bitch better find herself a bitch who can do all the cooking for the both of them.

What they work out between themselves, I haven't a clue. Maybe he likes to cook in the kitchen naked except for wearing a frilly apron that exposes his bare ass. The hell if I know what other kinky people do whom I am not acquainted with personally.
All I know is that no guy is going to be allowed in my kitchen to putter around unless his status is thus:<ink in collar>

_____________________________

Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage. - Lao Tzu
There is no remedy for love but to love more. - Thoreau

(in reply to thompsonx)
Profile   Post #: 69
RE: What exactly is a "service submissive"? - 7/1/2014 8:58:03 AM   
thompsonx


Posts: 23322
Joined: 10/1/2006
Status: offline
ORIGINAL: FieryOpal


quote:

ORIGINAL: thompsonx

Initially we were discussing he being a gourmet cook and she being able to make instant coffee and toast. Thus him bringing a unique skill set to the relationship. This would, of course, hold true in a vanilla relationship also. But the point remains unanswered...he does not come to the table empty handed looking to get over on someone.
Him inviting her over for dinner is part of courting(chassing pussy). We are not speaking of short cuts but typically a boi chases a gurl until she catches him. If she does not want to catch him he can chase till there is 40' of snow in furnace creek and it "ain't gonna happen". Quality is typically more expensive...It typically is not kept in plane view. Thus the need for a lengthy inspection.
Would you care to explain this in plain American English, garçon?
seulement que si la pourboire est suffisante

You did not stipulate that said submissive gourmet chef was offering his services to a Domme who could burn toast.
I stipulated that she could make toast not burn it.

If that were the case, that Bitch better find herself a bitch who can do all the cooking for the both of them.
That was pretty much my point.Did I mention that he is also a journeyman auto mechanic/wood butcher/electrician/plumber?

What they work out between themselves, I haven't a clue. Maybe he likes to cook in the kitchen naked except for wearing a frilly apron that exposes his bare ass.
No he just cooks nake


The hell if I know what other kinky people do whom I am not acquainted with personally.
All I know is that no guy is going to be allowed in my kitchen to putter around unless his status is thus:<ink in collar>

Your earlier stipulation was that you wanted to fuck this guys brains out regardless of his d/s or vanilla status.

(in reply to FieryOpal)
Profile   Post #: 70
RE: What exactly is a "service submissive"? - 7/1/2014 4:26:23 PM   
FieryOpal


Posts: 2821
Joined: 12/8/2013
From: Maryland
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: thompsonx

Your earlier stipulation was that you wanted to fuck this guys brains out regardless of his d/s or vanilla status.

And where might this stipulation of mine be in this thread? I have re-read my posts and cannot find whatever it is you are reading into them.
In fact, I have specifically stated as follows:
quote:

ORIGINAL: FieryOpal
<snip>
A man still has to be the man in the relationship and doesn't get a free pass on dating or any other dimension of courting or pursuing a woman's favor.

Here I am referring to all single/unattached men in general, vanilla or otherwise. I am stating quite the opposite of what you allege.

quote:

ORIGINAL: FieryOpal
<snip>
So why should a male submissive presume he should get access to a Dominant female WITHOUT any parity?
quote:

ORIGINAL: FieryOpal [Per Post#39]
<snip>
Given a choice, though, between a service sub and more of a sex slave, I'd go with the sex slave.
....

With the above, vanilla doesn't enter the picture, and I am speaking of "a male submissive" and of s-types.
You are the one who queried in your phraseology:
quote:

ORIGINAL: thompsonx

Do I understand you correctly? In a vanilla relationship you would fuck this guys brains out but in a d/s relationship he has to do something more to get to your pink parts?

Nowhere have I implied that I would be fucking any guy's brains out outside of a committed D/s relationship dynamic--submissive, kinky bottom, vanilla, chocolate, or strawberry...or with a switch for that matter.

quote:

ORIGINAL: thompsonx

I stipulated that she could make toast not burn it.

In this hypothetical scenario, if you can make shit up - er, I mean fill in additional detail - then so can I.
Case in point:
quote:

ORIGINAL: thompsonx

That was pretty much my point.Did I mention that he is also a journeyman auto mechanic/wood butcher/electrician/plumber?

His resumé might help him get his foot in the door, but if all he seeks is (bartered) kinky play, it sounds to me as if he can afford to hire a BDSM provider to scratch his itch, and get compensated elsewhere in wages for cold, hard cash. The fundamental contingency in terms of this wannabe service sub's motivations is whether he wants to enter into a serious D/s dynamic, and be collared by his Mistress, or doesn't have such intentions.

_____________________________

Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage. - Lao Tzu
There is no remedy for love but to love more. - Thoreau

(in reply to thompsonx)
Profile   Post #: 71
RE: What exactly is a "service submissive"? - 7/2/2014 6:59:26 AM   
thompsonx


Posts: 23322
Joined: 10/1/2006
Status: offline 		His resumé might help him get his foot in the door, but if all he seeks is (bartered) kinky play, it sounds to me as if he can afford to hire a BDSM provider to scratch his itch, and get compensated elsewhere in wages for cold, hard cash. The fundamental contingency in terms of this wannabe service sub's motivations is whether he wants to enter into a serious D/s dynamic, and be collared by his Mistress, or doesn't have such intentions.

I think he just wants to get laid by an assertive woman who likes rough sex and owns a pair of handcuffs. It may well be that the reason he frequents butt huts is that he is biding his time till he finds that assertive woman with handcuffs who is interested in a ltr leading to marriage. It may well be that he would prefer to rent till he can acquire(or be acquired by) a premium "lease w/option" so to speak.

(in reply to FieryOpal)
Profile   Post #: 72
RE: What exactly is a "service submissive"? - 7/2/2014 7:37:08 AM   
thompsonx


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ORIGINAL: DesFIP

Eulero, yes if he is buying stuff to cook in her kitchen, that's a fair point. But how many people have no pots and pans? If she bought the groceries planning to cook her own dinner then he isn't spending a dime.

I am sure you have been in peoples kitchens that were full of pots and pans that you would not use to water vegitables with. Quality kitchen ware is expensive. consider the cost of a 3mm thick tin lined copper saute' pan of 8" diameter...something on the order of $200-$300. That is just one pan.

If he owns wrenches to fix his own cars, then he isn't spending any money to fix hers.
Quality tools like quality cook ware is expensive. For example a 3/8" combination wrench off of the snap on truck is $25. A 1" combination wrench off of the snap on truck is over $200. A motorhead will own hundreds of wrenches. Ten thousand dollars will only buy a good set of basic tools, not a full set of the bitchen' guy kewel stuff.



(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 73
RE: What exactly is a "service submissive"? - 7/2/2014 7:38:09 AM   
thompsonx


Posts: 23322
Joined: 10/1/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MizzSpitfire

What a "service submissive" ISN'T: A guy who says he will do "anything sexual" you want him to.
When are these men going to stop equating service with sex?

When you stop posting an avitar that that implies sex

Amen. I'm certainly not looking for a sexless relationship, but I don't want a relationship that is purely based on nothing but me satisfying the sexual and fetish fantasies of the submissive.

The relationship you describe is called prostitution. What would you feel was just compensation for you satisfying the sexual and fetish fantasies of the submissive? Would his satisfying your sexual and fetish fantasies be suficient?

(in reply to MizzSpitfire)
Profile   Post #: 74
RE: What exactly is a "service submissive"? - 7/2/2014 5:50:30 PM   
FieryOpal


Posts: 2821
Joined: 12/8/2013
From: Maryland
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: thompsonx

I think he just wants to get laid by an assertive woman who likes rough sex and owns a pair of handcuffs. It may well be that the reason he frequents butt huts is that he is biding his time till he finds that assertive woman with handcuffs who is interested in a ltr leading to marriage. It may well be that he would prefer to rent till he can acquire(or be acquired by) a premium "lease w/option" so to speak.

Well then, your gourmet chef friend isn't a service sub at all now, is he? He is a kinky bottom on the prowl for a marriage-minded Domme.

Whatever (non-sexual) services he has to offer have been superseded by the fact that not only does he need to qualify as a submissive companion for a Domme, but he needs to actually find one who would want to consider him as a potential partner-mate.

Ergo, he'd better be damned good in bed AND make a suitably submissive mate (i.e., boytoy, sex slave) for a relationship possibly leading to becoming her sub husband -- a kinky bottom looking for kinky sex just won't fit the bill, in this event.

... Which discussion topic warrants a completely different thread.

_____________________________

Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage. - Lao Tzu
There is no remedy for love but to love more. - Thoreau

(in reply to thompsonx)
Profile   Post #: 75
RE: What exactly is a "service submissive"? - 7/3/2014 7:55:28 AM   
thompsonx


Posts: 23322
Joined: 10/1/2006
Status: offline
ORIGINAL: FieryOpal


quote:

ORIGINAL: thompsonx

I think he just wants to get laid by an assertive woman who likes rough sex and owns a pair of handcuffs. It may well be that the reason he frequents butt huts is that he is biding his time till he finds that assertive woman with handcuffs who is interested in a ltr leading to marriage. It may well be that he would prefer to rent till he can acquire(or be acquired by) a premium "lease w/option" so to speak.

Well then, your gourmet chef friend isn't a service sub at all now, is he? He is a kinky bottom on the prowl for a marriage-minded Domme.

Not much gets by you does it?


Whatever (non-sexual) services he has to offer have been superseded by the fact that not only does he need to qualify as a submissive companion for a Domme, but he needs to actually find one who would want to consider him as a potential partner-mate.

There is the fact that he is not a troll living under a bridge and eating from the dumpster behind micky d's. He does not come to the table empty handed saying "do me"

Ergo, he'd better be damned good in bed

Lol...I believe the speed and agility of a horse can only be exhibited by a skilled rider.

AND make a suitably submissive mate (i.e., boytoy, sex slave) for a relationship possibly leading to becoming her sub husband --

Or perhaps one that is suitably agreeable.


a kinky bottom looking for kinky sex just won't fit the bill, in this event.

Yes but it is a good place to start. Certainly better than the laundramat,church or e harmony.


(in reply to FieryOpal)
Profile   Post #: 76
RE: What exactly is a "service submissive"? - 7/3/2014 6:16:00 PM   
MercTech


Posts: 3706
Joined: 7/4/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: thompsonx


quote:

ORIGINAL: MercTech

Service submissive may or may not be sexually related.
That should come out in the negotiations for service.

I know a guy that likes humilitation. He is useful sometimes.... after renovating the bathroom he got to dress in a frilly maid's outfit and clean the grout in the tiles with a toothbrush. Meh, I appreciated the help and didn't mind if he got a thrill out of it.



Do I understand you correctly? You allowed a journey wood butcher to renovate your bathroom and his pay was being allowed to do it in a dress?



I guess I wasn't clear. My girl and I did the renovation but got help with the post renovation cleanup. Hey, and extra set of hands for the final touches helped.

(in reply to thompsonx)
Profile   Post #: 77
RE: What exactly is a "service submissive"? - 7/4/2014 12:46:41 PM   
thompsonx


Posts: 23322
Joined: 10/1/2006
Status: offline 		Do I understand you correctly? You allowed a journeyman wood butcher to renovate your bathroom and his pay was being allowed to do it in a dress?

I guess I wasn't clear. My girl and I did the renovation but got help with the post renovation cleanup. Hey, and extra set of hands for the final touches helped.

Do I understand you correctly? You allowed a journeyman laborer to clean up your construction resideu and his pay was being allowed to do it in a dress?

(in reply to MercTech)
Profile   Post #: 78
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