What acts are humiliating to you? (Full Version)

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MistressKiss -> What acts are humiliating to you? (4/8/2004 8:55:51 PM)

I am very interested in humiliation - and wish to explore it deeper. Another post reminded me of this, so I thought I would ask the community what you would consider to be humiliating for a submissive. If you are submissive, what would humiliate you? I would love 2-3 things mentioned per post, if you can think of that many. For Dominants, what have you done/would you do to humiliate your submissive? This could be an interesting resource for play time...grinssssssssssssssssssssssss

For instance, some feel kneeling or crawling is humiliating - not me! That was one of my favorite parts of submission.

Any thoughts, between all of you kinky people out there?

[image]local://upfiles/10574/D0DDCEA1FEBD4993B0671D6A18D33343.gif[/image]



EStrict -> RE: What acts are humiliating to you? (4/8/2004 9:27:36 PM)

Hi Kiss,

Actually I think you hit the nail on the head with your last two lines. What one person finds humilating, another does not. Ironically, I have always said I do not believe in humilation. Don't get me wrong, I do know that is a very real kink for many. But *to me*, if what he is doing is something Master is choosing, even if it is not something I like/want/enjoy, then I am doing everything I can to please him, so why would it humilate me?



MistressDREAD -> RE: What acts are humiliating to you? (4/9/2004 3:29:10 AM)

I love to give humiliation in many forms from verbal to physical, verbal to mental, did I mention verbal?
And anyone whom has ever been in the chat rooms when I am there twisting My kink with sumone will tell you that Us humiliators bang out the puke. ~giggles~ its a real turn off for the majority but truly a kink for Me that gets Me up and off and yesssss the more people We humiliators make sick the higher Our high goes, but even tho the question only asks subs what would be humiliating to them as a Dominant, what humiliates Me most is when a slave does not perform as expected in public and this shows in My mind badly towards Me in My training of them and thats humiliating when You felt they had learned well and would perform as taught to make You proud. But even this I in sum way enjoy for then its time for sum attitude adjustments when We get home. ~smiles~ There is one more thing that humiliates Me and this is when a slave falls inlove with Me when I expect them to keep in their position as a posession because most of the slaves I keep are not for love interests and I do not like to be put in a situation where I have to deal with a slaves heart when this was not a part of Our agreements.



soumeric37 -> RE: What acts are humiliating to you? (4/9/2004 3:49:59 AM)

You are so nice Mistress!



seattleminx -> RE: What acts are humiliating to you? (4/9/2004 11:35:59 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressKiss
If you are submissive, what would humiliate you? I would love 2-3 things mentioned per post, if you can think of that many. For Dominants, what have you done/would you do to humiliate your submissive?

For instance, some feel kneeling or crawling is humiliating - not me! That was one of my favorite parts of submission.

Any thoughts, between all of you kinky people out there?



I hate hate hate humiliation. So much so that it's a hard limit for me. And what trips it (mostly) is objectification...using me in such a way that it removes my humanity. Ugh. This dislike for objectification goes as far as not being able to wear hoods or masks. Not because of the sensory deprivation, but rather because of idea that the domme is unable to see the real me, or doesn't wish to see the real me.

*shudder* Yuck



Checkers -> RE: What acts are humiliating to you? (4/9/2004 12:04:40 PM)



I will follow this topic with interest!
I would like to engage in this kind of psychological play with my sub, but it is not so easy because she knows how much I love her - I really have to shift gears mentally, myself, to verbally humiliate her, for instance.
The verbal humiliation is only of a certain type; I want the effect to be one of objectification, without being insulting or hurtful (there is a big difference! )
Giving her simple commands, in a certain tone of voice, to carry out help get her prepared.
Just fetching things, dressing or undressing, being curtly told to assume submissive postures....
Another humiliation that I enjoy is to have her piss and clean herself in front of me. I have a piece of conveniently shaped tupperware that I purchased for this purpose.

Checkers






iwillserveu -> RE: What acts are humiliating to you? (4/9/2004 2:54:03 PM)

You want a list?[:)] (These are humiliating to me. They may turn on someone else. Number 5 is especially personal.)

OK, in no particular order

1) Being bound while She is free.
2) Being naked when She is clothed.
3) Being "ordered" to do anything.

More specifically

1) Being bound as She leaves (the room) and knowing I'll be there waiting upon her arrival.
2) Eating my own cum, either by licking her or my own hands.
3) Being used as furniture. She ignores me and just uses me an ottoman as She reads a magazine.
4) Being caught when She goes out of her way to "trap" me. For instance if my neck is locked to her thighs and she is watch the DVD of the Patriots season and catches me listening instead of focusing on the task at hand. (Especially since I know this is a test, [why else would she watch that DVD?])
5) Losing a game of chess. I'm serious. Being blindfolded (relying on notation called out) while she can see the board, being spanked for standard recaptures, having her arbitrarily deciding to add one of her pieces or subtract one of mine. That evens it up. (Yes, I'm that good.) Losing, even then, is humiliating because I failed when I know I can do better.

(Note: anything public would be beyond my limits.)



topcat -> RE: What acts are humiliating to you? (4/9/2004 4:04:58 PM)

M. Kiss-

My all time favorite happened in Hellfire a few years back. I was working with a new slave, who was absolutly fine with being bound and whipped in public, and was taking to all this stuff quite well. I was going pretty easy with a flogger, and then switched to a crop. We had drawn a good crowd, and I remarked offhandedly "I can smell how wet you are..." she literally swooned<g>.

On another occasion (same girl) while she was hooded, bound facedown over the horse in my apt, filled with a big dildo while I was beating her raw, and coming every few minutes or so, the pizza arrived. I invited the delivery boy in, put the pizzabox on her back, while I payed him. He asked about her, I told him she was such a slut that I had to do this weekly or she'd be unhappy, and asked her to confirm it.

Of course, the 'pizzaboy' was a close friend who I had put up to the whole thing. She still thinks it was some random delivery guy.

Once, when walking a slave out to her car in the morning, when she reached in to start it, I shoved her in over the seat, pulled her pants and panties down, fucked her, smacked her on the ass and said 'go to work', got on my bike and rode away.

She paged me about an hour later. I called her, expecting to hear that I had gone too far. She told me it was the hottest thing she'd ever known, and had just gone to the bathroom to masturbate about it.

several times, I've brought someone into a bathroom at a party or a bar, blindfolded her, opened the door to let one or two friends in, used her sexually, let them out, took off the blindfold, and went back out without letting her know who was watching. This seems to really work every time.

Stay warm,
Lawrence



MizSuz -> RE: What acts are humiliating to you? (4/9/2004 5:13:46 PM)

Probably the brightest shade of red I've ever seen a man turn was a gentleman who was very much 'in' when it comes to his kink. The notion of any sort of public play petrified him. We were in a restaurant and I ordered a piece of key lime pie. I shared it with him by feeding it to him (in a covertly erotic way...lots of eye contact, slow deliberate movements, etc). To this day he says it was the most humiliated he has ever been in his life. This caught me a little by surprise, I didn't think it was anything of the sort. He surprised me.

Then there was the guy who was so self concious because he was going to a play party and had forgotten his thong. He carried on quite a bit about how upset he was about forgetting them. I told him not to worry, he was among friends. When we played at the club I made him stand on a table in his tightie whities and sing the star spangled banner while making war faces and flexing. It's been about four years and he still blushes when you mention it.

Or the woman in the cage who I made watch...maybe that one's not for sharing. <smile>

Different people have different triggers. Sometimes it's the more subtle stuff that does the trick.



EStrict -> RE: What acts are humiliating to you? (4/9/2004 5:19:19 PM)

::laughing:: yeah Sir, but where was the humilation? I think the girl at the car said it best. All of those things are the hot things you mastrubate about the memories of when he isn't around (as long as you are allowed to mastrubate of course).

MMMmmmm,,, thanks for the pleasent mind pictures Sir :)



wolfsong -> RE: What acts are humiliating to you? (4/9/2004 5:19:50 PM)

this one humbly wish to let be know having one who is quote a Dom fall in love with one and wish to make one into his vanilla play toy can be very humiliating( he truely was sub and TV by nature and did not understand this about himself as he learned at a later date) but I felt I had failed in my duty as a submissive as he felt he could love me in a vanilla fashion he could not understand my need to be used and punished if I failed in my duties it really made me feel like a failure for a long time till another master showed me it was his failing not mine.[:)]



Checkers -> RE: What acts are humiliating to you? (4/10/2004 11:42:54 AM)



I have considered doing something similar to Topcat's diabolical pizza delivery story (above); I thought of perhaps having a friend call at a time when I knew my sub would be in bondage. I would talk to him over the phone about what I was doing, all within her hearing, and then enter into mock negotiations with my friend about having him come over and assist in administering discipline, etc.
I would tell my sub afterward that the phone call had been pre-arranged, though.
We have never been to a play party, but once I took her to an adult arcade, an old rickety place that looked like a haunted funhouse. I put her through her paces a little bit while a stranger watched from a distance ...
There is something intense about suddenly having a "witness" like that...
My sub was a little skeeved out about the whole thing, but later in the week she began sending me wonderful fantasies that she'd been having about the place.

Checkers



Estring -> RE: What acts are humiliating to you? (4/10/2004 3:48:49 PM)

It's interesting, this humiliation thing. Coming from a Dom's perspective, I have done many things to my slaves that I would consider humiliating. But the slave always looks at it as serving and obeying as she should. There is no humiliation in her eyes. But it is still alot of fun, whatever you want to call it. [;)]



pleasingsub -> RE: What acts are humiliating to you? (4/10/2004 8:56:53 PM)



I am a sub and I have to say that the most humiliating thing for me is public display!! My master one night made me wear my collar, wrist and ankle cuffs out in public one nite. We first ordered a pizza and he made me answer the door to get the pizza and pay for it in full gear. I was not happy. Then we went out for a nite on the town. Now keep in mind that we own our own business and we know alot of people in town that don't know our lifestyle. We stopped at a store by our house and he made me get down and go in to get some cigs. The people who worked in the store asked if that was a dog collar i had on. I told them i lost a bet and had to wear this. My Master asked what was said and I told him and i was instructed not to talk to anyone or explain my "sub gear". Needless to say I was very humiliated. We then went to a bar and i had to sit on a stool in the middle of the dance floor and watch him play pool. He then made me go to the jukebox and play a song he likes by Kid Rock "you ain't ever met a motherfucker quite like me" and then I had to stradle the jukebox with arms and legs spread out over it. Master didn't think i was spread out enough so he came over with a pool stick and tapped my legs out even further apart. But I must admit by the end of the nite I was having a good time with all of the attention. I have never felt so many eyes upon me and I didn't like it one bit. But I did feel sexy as hell. I still don't like public display and I hope he never makes me get naked in front of people. That would be the ultimate humiliating thing for me.

wet dreams and red marks
pleasingsub



EStrict -> RE: What acts are humiliating to you? (4/10/2004 10:22:52 PM)

quote:

We stopped at a store by our house and he made me get down and go in to get some cigs. The people who worked in the store asked if that was a dog collar i had on. I told them i lost a bet and had to wear this.


I have to admit this part kinda makes me have questions Pleasing. Are you ashamed of being a submissive or slave? Do you feel you are showing pride in doing what you dominant requires of you by lying about it? Fine, you were *embarrased*, but I know I would feel ashamed if I actually lied about something I was told I must do. Yes, vanilla lives don't need to know *details*, but just saying no and offering no other information, or just smiling and saying nothing is not the same to me as out and out lying and saying you lost a bet.



belongtoyou -> RE: What acts are humiliating to you? (4/10/2004 11:36:08 PM)

Being humiliated is a kink of mine, and i've enjoyed the following:
wearing HIS come on my face, my hands cuffed behind my back, while He wrote "cumslut" across my breasts with red lipstick, then made me look in the mirror: that was the ultimate, b/c i had to see myself like that.

As part of my punishment, i was required to eat my breakfast like a puppy: naked, with only a collar, and my food in a bowl on the floor, watching in the mirror (mirrored closet doors).

Another extreme one (for me) was when my Dom made me drink my own urine! Not only humilitating, but difficult not to gag.

~rain~



proudsub -> RE: What acts are humiliating to you? (4/11/2004 4:41:34 PM)

quote:

while He wrote "cumslut" across my breasts with red lipstick, then made me look in the mirror: that was the ultimate, b/c i had to see myself like that.


Hmmmm rain, wonder where he got that idea LOL. I showed rain on cam once when my Master had me write "bitch" and "slut" across my tits.

I do find that humiliating, also being peed on, and being watched while i pee--He says he's gonna give me a litter box soon.



Checkers -> RE: What acts are humiliating to you? (4/13/2004 10:39:29 AM)

Here are a couple of links relating to the topic of humiliation that I found interesting; in the first the author makes a distinction between degradation and humiliation.
The second link is to an article called "Masochism as a Spiritual Path." I think it is nicely written, and it touches upon the subject of humiliation.


http://www.sexuality.org/l/bdsm/masasp.html

http://www.sexuality.org/l/wh/att36.html

.
..
...
Checkers



topcat -> RE: What acts are humiliating to you? (4/13/2004 11:13:12 AM)

M. Checkers-

excellent links- I bookmarked the site.

There is a further distinction in humiliation though, some tiny angle or element that makes a difference between 'good' humiliation, and 'bad' humiliation.

The slave I mentioned above in the 'I can smell how wet you are' example, for instance, once, after being made to drive a while on a car trip with no pants or panties on, complained that it was humiliating (meaning it in a bad way). She wasn't able to deliniate between good humilation and bad, and her examples shed no light for me.

It's one of those things like 'good' pain vs. 'bad' pain that is compleatly subjective, but I'd love to hear from anyone who like to take a whack at explaining it.

stay warm,
Lawrence



EStrict -> RE: What acts are humiliating to you? (4/13/2004 11:27:02 AM)

You know Suz, I must have missed your post (It went up while I was replying). But, I read it today and realized that you told things you did to humilate, not what was the most humiliating (to you) thing that happened in a scene. So,,,,



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