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RE: Real Mistresses? - 6/25/2014 7:58:46 PM   
GoddessManko


Posts: 2257
Joined: 3/6/2013
From: Dante's Inferno
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: missbrownjinx
My profile photo seems to offend a lot of people's sensibilities. (I changed it by the way ) I also noticed in other threads there's a lot of sex-negative bias. E.g. a female poster who was told by more than one person that her journal entries were 'too sexual'. Lot of horseshit in my opinion.


I know honey, you can show boobies or booty for all I care, but in a way that complements such a lady, I enjoy you. I love a lot of what you have to say but your avatar was a bit...distracting. I don't blame you for hating the censorship. I've been watching a lot less porn lately so maybe I'm just getting old.

And Tinkerhell I totally second that. DarkSteven, I'm sure those negotiations will go swimmingly, haha.

_____________________________

Happy consent is the name of the game. You are my perfect Mistress. - my collared.

http://submissivemale.blogspot.com/

The Bird of Hermes is my name, eating my wings to make me tame.

(in reply to missbrownjinx)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Real Mistresses? - 6/26/2014 10:08:11 AM   
MistressEsmeUK


Posts: 42
Joined: 8/18/2010
Status: offline 		I just read a shopping list of what you want which is a huge turn off. How about what you can do for HER rather than all the things you would like.

(in reply to DarkSteven)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Real Mistresses? - 7/14/2014 12:59:41 PM   
MistressRage


Posts: 138
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: Upstate New York
Status: offline 		@OP Your problem is that you are not understanding women, and you are mixing up kink with actual service.

Most women don't want to stand around humiliating and whipping guys. Guys want sex and kink, ladies want resources. It seems that you want to serve in the ways that are sexy to you, whereas a lifestyle Domme wants the lawn mowed, the dishes washed, to be taken to dinner, get a foot rub etc. Only then might she want to do a little spanky spanky. I wrote a big piece about this on my website. Your fantasy is not the reality of most lifestyle Dommes.

S&M (including humiliation) tends to be more of a male fantasy than a female one. I'm not saying these ladies don't exist, but they are rare. DarkSteven and smartsub10 make accurate points in their response to you.

I have a live-in slave. He cleans the house, does the grocery shopping and pays bills. He is a sissy, so every now and then I laugh while he is permitted to hobble around the house dressed up (but still cleaning). He keeps his toenails painted and wears panties under his boxers daily but that is done on his own time and I don't see it. Women don't generally have the need to humiliate and hurt guys or indulge their fetishes. It is the males who need their fetishes indulged. B&D and S&M are very small parts of lifestyle service and many women (even in BDSM) think that guys fetishes are weird, gross, silly, desperate, annoying, and/or selfish. Do remember, fetish is a predominantly male thing and empirical research has proven that.

< Message edited by MistressRage -- 7/14/2014 1:02:01 PM >

_____________________________

Mistress Rage
~outRAGEous~

I don't always return to a thread. It's usually best to message your replies directly to me.

(in reply to drewtoserve)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Real Mistresses? - 7/15/2014 9:28:19 AM   
RumpusParable


Posts: 1923
Joined: 7/7/2005
From: NYC now!
Status: offline 		OP, I have to basically repeat what most of the others have said here:

You don't show at all what you have to offer a dominant female. You just wrote out "I want someone to play with me the way I want!".

Calling only those who want to fulfill your fantasies "real" gives you negative strikes against, you, too. Not getting you hard doesn't make others not "real".

Sure, you can find tops or doms who like the sorts of things you talk about... but you still need to have something to offer them.

So what do you have to exchange for this treatment/play?

For a personal response: I rather enjoy what you describe, myself. Generically it sounds like we'd be a potential match on those things if other things matched... but your post here makes me icked by you. It actively makes me *not* want to talk to you about any possibilities.

Are you looking for me, myself? No, but I threw it in there as I'm an example to consider in my feelings and reaction.

Again, what do you have to exchange for what you want done to you? What do you have to offer the dom you would like to find?

No matter what kind of relationship it is, it's going to be a 2 way street.

If you would just like to get spanked, humiliated, etc. you would likely be better off (if you don't want to go the pro route) going to play parties. You may meet someone there who wants to do those things that night or in the future or who has a friend who would.

Basically, get out there and be social.



_____________________________

Relationships come and go, but plastination is forever.

I generally use fast-reply. If directing my post at someone specific I will indicate so.

Minimal summary: Artist, Disabled Veteran, Vegan, Pornographer, and Agender dominant female.

(in reply to MistressRage)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Real Mistresses? - 7/16/2014 5:31:51 AM   
MistressRage


Posts: 138
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: Upstate New York
Status: offline 		@RumpusParable Well said. I think the play party route would be great for him!

By the way, I love your hair!!!

_____________________________

Mistress Rage
~outRAGEous~

I don't always return to a thread. It's usually best to message your replies directly to me.

(in reply to RumpusParable)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Real Mistresses? - 7/16/2014 8:04:46 AM   
RumpusParable


Posts: 1923
Joined: 7/7/2005
From: NYC now!
Status: offline 		Thanks, MistressRage!

_____________________________

Relationships come and go, but plastination is forever.

I generally use fast-reply. If directing my post at someone specific I will indicate so.

Minimal summary: Artist, Disabled Veteran, Vegan, Pornographer, and Agender dominant female.

(in reply to MistressRage)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Real Mistresses? - 7/25/2014 11:48:28 PM   
FieryOpal


Posts: 2821
Joined: 12/8/2013
From: Maryland
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

Small tip: Don't use that word 'beautiful', DS. Nearly all of them think they're 'kind of OK on a good day', at best....

Actually, I like the word as long as it's not being overused or insincere. However, like most of us, I only appreciate sincere compliments, not ingratiating ones.

OP, I don't know whether you've found another Domme yet.
From the looks of your profile, you don't indicate that you have. It starts off well, then goes steadily downhill.
First of all, none of us wants to hear about your last Mistress, and you go on and on about her and what she did to you.
Honestly, I can't tell whether this is factual or laden with fantasy. This detailed narrative shouldn't be in your profile, but as a Journal Entry instead if you insist on including it, which I don't recommend.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Killerangel
<snip>
Men tend to come here thinking that what they see in porn is real-it's not. The 'beautiful ladies' walking around in boots and leather that enjoy disciplining and humiliating panting men that they don't know, exist in your head. Ask yourself why a strange woman would want to spend her time getting you off? Does that idea even make sense?

You seem to be describing a non-lifestyle Domme. As noted above, the kind of lifestyle Domme you are seeking will more often than not have an FLR-Female Led Relationship domination style, which won't be centered on discipline as punishment and humiliation. You state in your profile "maybe if my mistress has a bad day and needs to take her aggressions out" that you can be her whipping boy of sorts. Lifestyle Dommes are not looking for a whipping boy, and if you run into a Dominant who needs to take her aggressions out on anybody, then this person has mental health and anger management issues and needs to seek out professional help, not a submissive. This is also not somebody you can trust, and trust is paramount in any relationship, but even more so with BDSM.

ETA: Just remembered about your profile, OP, you have Actively Seeking Submissive Women, and this may count against you. When I see so many categories listed, this reeks to me of some horny dude who just wants any warm-blooded woman he can get interested in him. You're an attractive guy, seemingly successful and intelligent, and verbally expressive, so you can hold out for what you really want.

< Message edited by FieryOpal -- 7/25/2014 11:56:18 PM >

_____________________________

Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage. - Lao Tzu
There is no remedy for love but to love more. - Thoreau

(in reply to PeonForHer)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Real Mistresses? - 7/26/2014 4:11:04 PM   
thompsonx


Posts: 23322
Joined: 10/1/2006
Status: offline 		ORIGINAL: Killerangel

Ask yourself why a strange woman would want to spend her time getting you off?

I happen to like "strange" women. The not strange ones won't even let me turn the lights on. The strange ones have trashy underware and kinky habits.

Does that idea even make sense?

Kinky sex with strange women?????let me think???? ok my microsecond is up and I vote for kinky fuckery with strange women.



< Message edited by thompsonx -- 7/26/2014 4:12:27 PM >

(in reply to Killerangel)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Real Mistresses? - 7/26/2014 4:38:46 PM   
FieryOpal


Posts: 2821
Joined: 12/8/2013
From: Maryland
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: FieryOpal
^^this reeks to me of some horny dude who just wants any warm-blooded woman he can get interested in him. You're an attractive guy, seemingly successful and intelligent, and verbally expressive, so you can hold out for what you really want.


_____________________________

Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage. - Lao Tzu
There is no remedy for love but to love more. - Thoreau

(in reply to FieryOpal)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Real Mistresses? - 7/26/2014 8:30:03 PM   
thompsonx


Posts: 23322
Joined: 10/1/2006
Status: offline


ORIGINAL: FieryOpal
this reeks to me of some horny dude who just wants any warm-blooded woman he can get interested in him.


No I was quite specific I only want the hawt strange ones with the trashy underware and kinky fuckery


You're an attractive guy,

That is blue eyed blarney if ever I heard it. You have till some time next week to stop that.

seemingly successful

I am the guy who lives in an collection of appliance boxes in the mojave desert.


and intelligent, and verbally expressive, so you can hold out for what you really want.

I want a strange woman who is into kinky fuckery...she does not need to own a whip or handcuffs...just an assertive attitude and some trashy underware.


< Message edited by thompsonx -- 7/26/2014 8:31:12 PM >

(in reply to FieryOpal)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Real Mistresses? - 7/28/2014 11:16:07 PM   
letsgetoffline


Posts: 4
Joined: 7/16/2014
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: drewtoserve

Hi everyone. I have been on this site for a while and am having trouble finding a lifestyle mistress, not just someone whom says they are a mistress and only in it for the money. I am not cheap and take good care of the people around me but tome, most of the please I derive from serving a mistress is the fact that I am bringing HER pleasure. I'm looking for a Mistress who truly enjoys disciplining and humiliating! Someone who gets aroused by controlling and spanking, whipping or humiliating me. Giving myself to someone in that way is where I derive my pleaseure.
Where are these beautiful ladies?


I think the key is patience and authenticity. Everyone here is kinky, so generally you don't do well by leading with kink. Most women won't care that you want to be humiliated or disciplined until they care about you as a person. As a sub, you have to romance and seduce a woman, just as you do in a vanilla relationship. Focus on capturing their mind, rather than focusing on the whips and chains. When you open with the kink stuff, you turn yourself into a dime-a-dozen caricature.

(in reply to drewtoserve)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Real Mistresses? - 7/28/2014 11:28:11 PM   
FieryOpal


Posts: 2821
Joined: 12/8/2013
From: Maryland
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: letsgetoffline

I think the key is patience and authenticity. Everyone here is kinky, so generally you don't do well by leading with kink. Most women won't care that you want to be humiliated or disciplined until they care about you as a person. As a sub, you have to romance and seduce a woman, just as you do in a vanilla relationship. Focus on capturing their mind, rather than focusing on the whips and chains. When you open with the kink stuff, you turn yourself into a dime-a-dozen caricature.

I believe that's the biggest mistake men make here. (Can't speak for other sex sites, and kinkytoo is new and more Facebooky.)

Some of them have been keeping this stuff bottled up, and are just looking for a place to let it all hang out.

Dudes, we've seen whatever it is you think you have to offer, and it isn't anything new that we haven't seen before.
Women, or at least speaking for myself, want to see a fresh approach, to know that you have what it takes as a multi-dimensional person.

Another issue with sub men and/or male bottoms in particular is that they're waiting for a Dominant woman to take instant control of their cock and to start dominating their ass right away.
It doesn't work like that. You have to prove yourself worthy first, and that isn't by scraping the floor with your face in obsequiousness and false humility.
It might work with a hired Top who orders you to call her Mistress on the spot, but not with an experienced Domme who is selective in whom she chooses.

_____________________________

Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage. - Lao Tzu
There is no remedy for love but to love more. - Thoreau

(in reply to letsgetoffline)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Real Mistresses? - 7/29/2014 7:02:28 AM   
GotSteel


Posts: 5871
Joined: 2/19/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: missbrownjinx
My profile photo seems to offend a lot of people's sensibilities. (I changed it by the way ) I also noticed in other threads there's a lot of sex-negative bias. E.g. a female poster who was told by more than one person that her journal entries were 'too sexual'. Lot of horseshit in my opinion.


Yeah....I've noticed that this place has a somewhat older crowd complete with the older generations repressed ideas about female sexuality which make it quite sex negative compared to fetlife and the meatspaces I attend.

That said I do like to be able to check up on my threads in public, which works fine as long as people follow the TOS and don't have graphic nudity as their profile picture. As for any/every picture thereafter, by all means I encourage graphic nudity.

(in reply to missbrownjinx)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Real Mistresses? - 7/29/2014 7:19:00 AM   
GotSteel


Posts: 5871
Joined: 2/19/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RockaRolla
In the same places you find the fake ones. You just have to put more effort in sifting through.

Everyone has to go through this, from male subs to dommes to doms and female subs.


I don't know I suppose since I haven't ever tried to find a domme I can't really compare, maybe new male subs around here tend to be horrendous whiners or something but my experiences finding fem subs really haven't been like what I hear from male subs. I've never had to wade through a maze of professionals trying to make rent in order to go on a date. I've never had a sub ask me to wire them money on paypal to weed out the "time wasters". I've never been told that my kinks don't matter and it's all about her kinks. And even if all I was looking for was a warm body to appease my fetish I still wouldn't have to hire a professional, just go to a play party.

(in reply to RockaRolla)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Real Mistresses? - 7/30/2014 5:07:08 PM   
LadyNeith


Posts: 15
Joined: 10/11/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: drewtoserve

Hi everyone. I have been on this site for a while and am having trouble finding a lifestyle mistress, not just someone whom says they are a mistress and only in it for the money. I am not cheap and take good care of the people around me but tome, most of the please I derive from serving a mistress is the fact that I am bringing HER pleasure. I'm looking for a Mistress who truly enjoys disciplining and humiliating! Someone who gets aroused by controlling and spanking, whipping or humiliating me. Giving myself to someone in that way is where I derive my pleaseure.
Where are these beautiful ladies?


Where are these beautiful women who will service you by beating you and whipping you? They are busy, because there are 10 of you for every one of them. If you knew that, it would make sense why so many ask for money. A lot of Dominant women start taking money because it enables them more free time to take more subs, some because the demand is there. I don't think there are any who are ONLY in it for the money, but you tell me that if you had requests in your inbox every day you would definitely get choosy, and if you are a sub with no training, no skills, no special abilities, money is a simple thing you can actually offer when you have nothing else to offer.

If you want a girlfriend who will kink with you, you should play the dating game and pray. If you just want to attract a Dominant, you should either be a VERY talented/well-trained sub, or offer something she can use. In my experience a lot of new/inexperienced/armchair male subs think they are god's gift, perhaps in the vanilla world they are hot or have game but in the BDSM world that has much less meaning. Without training a sub like that still has nothing to offer so money is one way to solve that.

It is easy to make the mistake of thinking this tribute stuff is all just greed or exploiting men but a lot of us Dommes don't "need" money, we need time. If other Dommes are as busy as me (I bet they are), money will definitely help solve the problem of time. If there is a enough interest, a Domme can quit her job and do lifestyle, so you see how that is actually mutually beneficial? A Domme with a lot of free time can "afford" to take crappy, inexperienced, or untrained subs (or all three).

I can't speak to all Dommes but this has been my experience, and I hope this information helps to clarify a bit.

(in reply to drewtoserve)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Real Mistresses? - 7/30/2014 5:45:10 PM   
FieryOpal


Posts: 2821
Joined: 12/8/2013
From: Maryland
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyNeith

Where are these beautiful women who will service you by beating you and whipping you? They are busy, because there are 10 of you for every one of them.

Probably more like 30:1.
And let's not forget all the male subs who assume we're all into pegging our play partners right off the bat.
They also seem to forget that even with a pro-Domme, strap-on play is sexual, and their money is no good as a newbie client with them (might be with an escort-servicing Top).
Chastity slaves who don't understand why there aren't Keyholder Mistresses abounding take the cake.

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyNeith

A Domme with a lot of free time can "afford" to take crappy, inexperienced, or untrained subs (or all three).

I only have enough time to carve out a meaningful relationship, not waste my time with intensive "obedience training," like many assume Dommes have nothing better to do.
Juggling multiple subs who need constant supervision and oversight is beyond my multi-tasking abilities.
I don't know how some other Dommes can manage to do this, if I were even wired to juggle more than one sub at a time.

_____________________________

Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage. - Lao Tzu
There is no remedy for love but to love more. - Thoreau

(in reply to LadyNeith)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Real Mistresses? - 7/30/2014 5:47:16 PM   
LookieNoNookie


Posts: 12216
Joined: 8/9/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyNeith


quote:

ORIGINAL: drewtoserve

Hi everyone. I have been on this site for a while and am having trouble finding a lifestyle mistress, not just someone whom says they are a mistress and only in it for the money. I am not cheap and take good care of the people around me but tome, most of the please I derive from serving a mistress is the fact that I am bringing HER pleasure. I'm looking for a Mistress who truly enjoys disciplining and humiliating! Someone who gets aroused by controlling and spanking, whipping or humiliating me. Giving myself to someone in that way is where I derive my pleaseure.
Where are these beautiful ladies?


Where are these beautiful women who will service you by beating you and whipping you? They are busy, because there are 10 of you for every one of them. If you knew that, it would make sense why so many ask for money. A lot of Dominant women start taking money because it enables them more free time to take more subs, some because the demand is there. I don't think there are any who are ONLY in it for the money, but you tell me that if you had requests in your inbox every day you would definitely get choosy, and if you are a sub with no training, no skills, no special abilities, money is a simple thing you can actually offer when you have nothing else to offer.

If you want a girlfriend who will kink with you, you should play the dating game and pray. If you just want to attract a Dominant, you should either be a VERY talented/well-trained sub, or offer something she can use. In my experience a lot of new/inexperienced/armchair male subs think they are god's gift, perhaps in the vanilla world they are hot or have game but in the BDSM world that has much less meaning. Without training a sub like that still has nothing to offer so money is one way to solve that.

It is easy to make the mistake of thinking this tribute stuff is all just greed or exploiting men but a lot of us Dommes don't "need" money, we need time. If other Dommes are as busy as me (I bet they are), money will definitely help solve the problem of time. If there is a enough interest, a Domme can quit her job and do lifestyle, so you see how that is actually mutually beneficial? A Domme with a lot of free time can "afford" to take crappy, inexperienced, or untrained subs (or all three).

I can't speak to all Dommes but this has been my experience, and I hope this information helps to clarify a bit.


I can't speak for all sub 55 year old males but, I too have this problem, hence why I now also charge.

(in reply to LadyNeith)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Real Mistresses? - 7/30/2014 5:59:35 PM   
seekingOwnertoo


Posts: 1323
Joined: 8/1/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LookieNoNookie


quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyNeith


quote:

ORIGINAL: drewtoserve

Hi everyone. I have been on this site for a while and am having trouble finding a lifestyle mistress, not just someone whom says they are a mistress and only in it for the money. I am not cheap and take good care of the people around me but tome, most of the please I derive from serving a mistress is the fact that I am bringing HER pleasure. I'm looking for a Mistress who truly enjoys disciplining and humiliating! Someone who gets aroused by controlling and spanking, whipping or humiliating me. Giving myself to someone in that way is where I derive my pleaseure.
Where are these beautiful ladies?


Where are these beautiful women who will service you by beating you and whipping you? They are busy, because there are 10 of you for every one of them. If you knew that, it would make sense why so many ask for money. A lot of Dominant women start taking money because it enables them more free time to take more subs, some because the demand is there. I don't think there are any who are ONLY in it for the money, but you tell me that if you had requests in your inbox every day you would definitely get choosy, and if you are a sub with no training, no skills, no special abilities, money is a simple thing you can actually offer when you have nothing else to offer.

If you want a girlfriend who will kink with you, you should play the dating game and pray. If you just want to attract a Dominant, you should either be a VERY talented/well-trained sub, or offer something she can use. In my experience a lot of new/inexperienced/armchair male subs think they are god's gift, perhaps in the vanilla world they are hot or have game but in the BDSM world that has much less meaning. Without training a sub like that still has nothing to offer so money is one way to solve that.

It is easy to make the mistake of thinking this tribute stuff is all just greed or exploiting men but a lot of us Dommes don't "need" money, we need time. If other Dommes are as busy as me (I bet they are), money will definitely help solve the problem of time. If there is a enough interest, a Domme can quit her job and do lifestyle, so you see how that is actually mutually beneficial? A Domme with a lot of free time can "afford" to take crappy, inexperienced, or untrained subs (or all three).

I can't speak to all Dommes but this has been my experience, and I hope this information helps to clarify a bit.


I can't speak for all sub 55 year old males but, I too have this problem, hence why I now also charge.



ROFL .... I bet it is




< Message edited by seekingOwnertoo -- 7/30/2014 6:03:10 PM >

_____________________________

Got my second paddle! Finally! :-)

Heck I had one in 2010 .. now in 2013 another! Yes you can say, i am just a gifted slow learner!

(in reply to LookieNoNookie)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Real Mistresses? - 7/30/2014 6:07:45 PM   
seekingOwnertoo


Posts: 1323
Joined: 8/1/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyNeith


quote:

ORIGINAL: drewtoserve

Hi everyone. I have been on this site for a while and am having trouble finding a lifestyle mistress, not just someone whom says they are a mistress and only in it for the money. I am not cheap and take good care of the people around me but tome, most of the please I derive from serving a mistress is the fact that I am bringing HER pleasure. I'm looking for a Mistress who truly enjoys disciplining and humiliating! Someone who gets aroused by controlling and spanking, whipping or humiliating me. Giving myself to someone in that way is where I derive my pleaseure.
Where are these beautiful ladies?


Where are these beautiful women who will service you by beating you and whipping you? They are busy, because there are 10 of you for every one of them. If you knew that, it would make sense why so many ask for money. A lot of Dominant women start taking money because it enables them more free time to take more subs, some because the demand is there. I don't think there are any who are ONLY in it for the money, but you tell me that if you had requests in your inbox every day you would definitely get choosy, and if you are a sub with no training, no skills, no special abilities, money is a simple thing you can actually offer when you have nothing else to offer.

If you want a girlfriend who will kink with you, you should play the dating game and pray. If you just want to attract a Dominant, you should either be a VERY talented/well-trained sub, or offer something she can use. In my experience a lot of new/inexperienced/armchair male subs think they are god's gift, perhaps in the vanilla world they are hot or have game but in the BDSM world that has much less meaning. Without training a sub like that still has nothing to offer so money is one way to solve that.

It is easy to make the mistake of thinking this tribute stuff is all just greed or exploiting men but a lot of us Dommes don't "need" money, we need time. If other Dommes are as busy as me (I bet they are), money will definitely help solve the problem of time. If there is a enough interest, a Domme can quit her job and do lifestyle, so you see how that is actually mutually beneficial? A Domme with a lot of free time can "afford" to take crappy, inexperienced, or untrained subs (or all three).

I can't speak to all Dommes but this has been my experience, and I hope this information helps to clarify a bit.



OP, This here Response strikes me as the BEST and MOST objective one. Then too, its because I have found it true, all of my life; when I have talked with them.


< Message edited by seekingOwnertoo -- 7/30/2014 6:09:55 PM >

_____________________________

Got my second paddle! Finally! :-)

Heck I had one in 2010 .. now in 2013 another! Yes you can say, i am just a gifted slow learner!

(in reply to LadyNeith)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Real Mistresses? - 7/31/2014 5:17:00 PM   
LookieNoNookie


Posts: 12216
Joined: 8/9/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: seekingOwnertoo

quote:

ORIGINAL: LookieNoNookie


quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyNeith


quote:

ORIGINAL: drewtoserve

Hi everyone. I have been on this site for a while and am having trouble finding a lifestyle mistress, not just someone whom says they are a mistress and only in it for the money. I am not cheap and take good care of the people around me but tome, most of the please I derive from serving a mistress is the fact that I am bringing HER pleasure. I'm looking for a Mistress who truly enjoys disciplining and humiliating! Someone who gets aroused by controlling and spanking, whipping or humiliating me. Giving myself to someone in that way is where I derive my pleaseure.
Where are these beautiful ladies?


Where are these beautiful women who will service you by beating you and whipping you? They are busy, because there are 10 of you for every one of them. If you knew that, it would make sense why so many ask for money. A lot of Dominant women start taking money because it enables them more free time to take more subs, some because the demand is there. I don't think there are any who are ONLY in it for the money, but you tell me that if you had requests in your inbox every day you would definitely get choosy, and if you are a sub with no training, no skills, no special abilities, money is a simple thing you can actually offer when you have nothing else to offer.

If you want a girlfriend who will kink with you, you should play the dating game and pray. If you just want to attract a Dominant, you should either be a VERY talented/well-trained sub, or offer something she can use. In my experience a lot of new/inexperienced/armchair male subs think they are god's gift, perhaps in the vanilla world they are hot or have game but in the BDSM world that has much less meaning. Without training a sub like that still has nothing to offer so money is one way to solve that.

It is easy to make the mistake of thinking this tribute stuff is all just greed or exploiting men but a lot of us Dommes don't "need" money, we need time. If other Dommes are as busy as me (I bet they are), money will definitely help solve the problem of time. If there is a enough interest, a Domme can quit her job and do lifestyle, so you see how that is actually mutually beneficial? A Domme with a lot of free time can "afford" to take crappy, inexperienced, or untrained subs (or all three).

I can't speak to all Dommes but this has been my experience, and I hope this information helps to clarify a bit.


I can't speak for all sub 55 year old males but, I too have this problem, hence why I now also charge.



ROFL .... I bet it is





I'm in my declining years....I need to cash out when the opportunity presents itself.

(in reply to seekingOwnertoo)
Profile   Post #: 40
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