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RE: What is Tribute? - 7/7/2014 12:51:40 AM   
hopelesslyInvo


Posts: 522
Joined: 2/10/2008
From: the future
Status: offline 		'tribute' is little more than the overly fancy word for the "online-bdsm" equivalent of a person buying someone a drink at the bar.

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RE: What is Tribute? - 7/7/2014 1:51:35 AM   
TNDommeK


Posts: 7153
Joined: 3/13/2010
Status: offline 		Idk, sometimes it could be IRL as well. Pro dommes receive tribute as well.

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The working Fin Domme
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RE: What is Tribute? - 7/7/2014 12:13:54 PM   
ThePrincessKali


Posts: 424
Joined: 9/19/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TNDommeK

Got steel, the thread was "is finDom a legit form of D/s". That's also the one Peon is referring to. Rochsub started it. I believe two or three of my slaves explained how it was a fetish, and thoughts etc.

I don't refer to the word tribute at all. I get bent out of shape when ignorant ppl (not you, another poster above)compare what I do to prostitution.




I used to go-go dance at a nightclub in Hollywood. The ones in the sequin bikinis and furry boots you see dancing up on the platforms, yeah I was one of those. I danced for many years growing up, ballet, tap, jazz, modern, and I loved it. I made good money gogo dancing and I could work nights so my days were open for college and studying. I don't know how many times I was accused of being a stripper. I have notbing against strippers but that isn't what I did. I never too off my clothes and I showed no more than you would see at a beach. But some people just lumped us all into one category, strippers. Most, if not all, of those people ever actually saw me gogo dance.

That's how I feel when people assume all Fin Dommes or Pro Dommes are prostitutes. They have no idea what these Domme's do and they don't bother taking the time to find out. They're quick to judge. Which is really never a great way to go about doing things.

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RE: What is Tribute? - 7/7/2014 2:02:47 PM   
GotSteel


Posts: 5871
Joined: 2/19/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: GotSteel
Would you mind narrowing down what you're referring to a bit?

quote:

ORIGINAL: TNDommeK
Got steel, the thread was "is finDom a legit form of D/s".


Keep in mind that you're pointing me to a 70+ page clusterfuck and I don't actually know who your slaves are at this point. Could you possibly narrow the haystack down a bit?

quote:

ORIGINAL: TNDommeK
I don't refer to the word tribute at all. I get bent out of shape when ignorant ppl (not you, another poster above)compare what I do to prostitution.

It's quite understandable that you'd get a bit bent out of shape if someone refers to what you're doing as a criminal activity. I think most of us would tend to in a similar situation.

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RE: What is Tribute? - 7/7/2014 2:26:34 PM   
ThePrincessKali


Posts: 424
Joined: 9/19/2012
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quote:

ORIGINAL: GotSteel

quote:

ORIGINAL: GotSteel
Would you mind narrowing down what you're referring to a bit?

quote:

ORIGINAL: TNDommeK
Got steel, the thread was "is finDom a legit form of D/s".


Keep in mind that you're pointing me to a 70+ page clusterfuck and I don't actually know who your slaves are at this point. Could you possibly narrow the haystack down a bit?

quote:

ORIGINAL: TNDommeK
I don't refer to the word tribute at all. I get bent out of shape when ignorant ppl (not you, another poster above)compare what I do to prostitution.

It's quite understandable that you'd get a bit bent out of shape if someone refers to what you're doing as a criminal activity. I think most of us would tend to in a similar situation.



How is consensual behavior between two adults illegal? Or giving a gift to someone you care about? Have you been arrested for giving someone a birthday gift? Or a present to show you care? If so I stand corrected. And you really have no business speaking for anyone but yourself. Unless you're a psychic and can read most peoples mind from a message board. Again, if so I stand corrected.

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RE: What is Tribute? - 7/7/2014 3:02:47 PM   
GotSteel


Posts: 5871
Joined: 2/19/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: ThePrincessKali
How is consensual behavior between two adults illegal?


Somebody wrote a post that could be interpreted to conflate findom with prostitution. TNDommeK had an emotional reaction to that association and I'm validating her emotional reaction as understandable.

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RE: What is Tribute? - 7/7/2014 4:09:11 PM   
AAkasha


Posts: 4429
Joined: 11/27/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ThePrincessKali

How is consensual behavior between two adults illegal? Or giving a gift to someone you care about? Have you been arrested for giving someone a birthday gift? Or a present to show you care? If so I stand corrected. And you really have no business speaking for anyone but yourself. Unless you're a psychic and can read most peoples mind from a message board. Again, if so I stand corrected.




Here is where femdoms do need to be careful. When you receive gifts in exchange for power exchange, you have to declare it in your taxes. It's called "Gifts for consideration." I am meticulous about both my taxes and about being honest.

I have a comfort with "transactional gifting." This means I tell a sub exactly what he is getting (in the form of email, online, skype training) and then he can buy me a gift which I state. I don't do this a lot, but when I do, it's very businesslike. I end up making (in value, profit) a lot less than my hourly wage at work, but I enjoy it, it's fun meeting new people, and I like pushing buttons. I do it on and off throughout the year.

Now totally separate from that is when a sub I know sends me a gift, unsolicited, or I say, "I need a present! How about sending me this?" - this is for subs I know enjoy GIVING gifts. These are gifts. I do not declare them. They often are the things that totally make my day or week, and sometimes show up without warning and are unsolicited and the kindness blows my mind (hello jamiegirl, are you reading this?).

At the same time, in all of these relationships, when I know the sub, it's a two-way street. I send them "surprises" too. No strings attached. I just send jamiegirl a care package. Sometimes when I am out shopping for my girlie things I see something and go, "Oh wow, jamiegirl would LOVE this." I once had the most adorable Coach wristlet purse, and was gifted by a family member one identical. Rather than return it for credit, I sent it to jamiegirl so we could have matching wristlet purses. Those are over $100. It was a joy to do it. I like surprising people. This isn't "tribute" or an exchange for services, it's just friends doing nice things for friends, and it has to go both ways.

Hell, I feel obligated when someone sends me a gift. I know I should not, but I do. That's why when I want to get gift cards to Sephora and Victoria's Secret, I prefer a very straightforward barter. It works out great because not only do I get myself nice things there, I get things for some of my sub friends, too.

Just be careful of the taxes, ladies. If you get audited and you are accepting gifts in exchange for services, that's not legal.

Akasha

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(in reply to ThePrincessKali)
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RE: What is Tribute? - 7/7/2014 5:56:39 PM   
TNDommeK


Posts: 7153
Joined: 3/13/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: GotSteel

quote:

ORIGINAL: GotSteel
Would you mind narrowing down what you're referring to a bit?

quote:

ORIGINAL: TNDommeK
Got steel, the thread was "is finDom a legit form of D/s".


Keep in mind that you're pointing me to a 70+ page clusterfuck and I don't actually know who your slaves are at this point. Could you possibly narrow the haystack down a bit?

quote:

ORIGINAL: TNDommeK
I don't refer to the word tribute at all. I get bent out of shape when ignorant ppl (not you, another poster above)compare what I do to prostitution.

It's quite understandable that you'd get a bit bent out of shape if someone refers to what you're doing as a criminal activity. I think most of us would tend to in a similar situation.



Yes this is true. I'm trying to remember which of my slaves commented. I would probably have to find the thread and review it as well. But if memory serves correctly, it was leex1963 (or something like that) and the other I definitely can't remember. However they do identify themselves as belonging to me.
Sorry I can't help more.


< Message edited by TNDommeK -- 7/7/2014 5:57:17 PM >

_____________________________

Goddess of Duck Lips and Luxurious Hair
The working Fin Domme
Professional con artist, swindler, trixster, extortionist

Our snark-nado needs more cowbell


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Profile   Post #: 28
RE: What is Tribute? - 7/8/2014 9:19:20 AM   
JstAnotherSub


Posts: 6174
Status: offline 		I don't mean for this to sound as snarky as it probably will sound, but I cannot think of another way to say it so......
TNDommeK, I find it hard to believe there is anything in it for you except taking gifts from any guy on the internet that will give them, based on the fact that you are not even sure about the name of one of your "slaves" who commented on the findom thread.

Not that that is a bad thing, and I don't think it is wrong for you to do it, but............to me, it seems that yall spend too much energy trying to pretend it is something it is not, whether it is for the benefit of those questioning you or trying to convince your selves, I have no idea.

I am honestly curious, trying to not be judgmental, but hell we all judge by what we observe, and this is my observations.



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RE: What is Tribute? - 7/8/2014 9:43:57 AM   
crazyml


Posts: 5568
Joined: 7/3/2007
Status: offline 		Hey there JstAnotherSub,

I'm not sure that TND spends a lot of time pretending it's something it's not, I think she is forced to spend a fair bit of time explaining to people why it isn't something they assume it is.

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RE: What is Tribute? - 7/8/2014 3:29:23 PM   
JstAnotherSub


Posts: 6174
Status: offline 		That may be it crazy, I mean I think she is a groovy chick, but something about the not knowing the slaves name hit me funny. I hope she will come back and comment on it, because I am absolutely open to being proven wrong!


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RE: What is Tribute? - 7/8/2014 4:14:38 PM   
GotSteel


Posts: 5871
Joined: 2/19/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: JstAnotherSub
TNDommeK, I find it hard to believe there is anything in it for you except taking gifts from any guy on the internet that will give them, based on the fact that you are not even sure about the name of one of your "slaves" who commented on the findom thread.


To be fair we aren't actually talking about the name of a "slave", we're talking about a screen name, this is a non-trivial distinction. I don't know all of the screen names my girl has even though we've been living together for years. Heck I don't remember all of my screen names either, I tried to log in to hotmail the other day and....it had just been too long.

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RE: What is Tribute? - 7/8/2014 4:46:32 PM   
deathtothepixies


Posts: 683
Joined: 2/19/2012
Status: offline 		there is real fin Domming, in a M/s relationship and there is fake fin Domming, "women" who claim to be Dommes cashing in on stupid men who are happy to send cash/gifts to them....you know the profiles, cash cows, pay piggies etc etc.

Is it a tribute? It's money at the end of the day whatever form it takes whether it is a gift or an Amazon voucher. It is money going from one person to another for a service.

TN is a "real" Domme, that much is clear, if she is morally OK with selling her used panties to anyone who wants to buy them then who are we to argue?

Cash for panties doesn't sound very D/s but neither does cash for sexual satisfaction.

That's what tribute is. Money for a service.

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RE: What is Tribute? - 7/8/2014 4:55:06 PM   
Mouth4Mistress


Posts: 91
Joined: 8/8/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Snitch
quote:

ORIGINAL: TuliTheUnruli
It isn't pro-dom, and it isn't financial domination; so what is it?

IMHO, since prostitution (sexual gratification for money involving touching buttocks, breasts, or genitalia) is mostly illegal in the US, tribute is most often used to ask for money. Just like roses are a metaphor for dollars.
Also IMHO, there is no such thing as financial domination. It's prostitution again. It always boils down to that, if there is technical touching of breasts, buttocks, or genitalia for the purpose of sexual gratification (of either party).


I agree 100%. It seems that most "findommes" appeared here once Craigslist Erotic Services got shut down, and the trend has continued.

IMHO, if I'm giving a woman money for sexual favors, I'm the one in control - and that directly contradicts the idea of surrendering control. So for a sub to pay a Domme, in my perception, just seems weird.

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RE: What is Tribute? - 7/8/2014 6:39:07 PM   
jamieg


Posts: 12
Joined: 9/4/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha

(hello jamiegirl, are you reading this?).




of course! and i still love that coach purse!

jamiegirl

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RE: What is Tribute? - 7/8/2014 6:45:20 PM   
wittynamehere


Posts: 759
Joined: 2/5/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TuliTheUnruli
What is Tribute?

I think it's another way to pronounce "trick you".

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RE: What is Tribute? - 7/8/2014 7:16:51 PM   
MrRodgers


Posts: 10542
Joined: 7/30/2005
Status: offline 		To me asking for 'tribute' is saying you will pay or 'gift' me just to get [my] attention. Of anybody does that, then logically they'd be the more likely, persons to be open to financial domination given that is has already begun with such a tribute and for such...small reward.

Furthermore, I personally feel that if anybody pays anybody else just to get their attention, that presents itself as a truly unique form of insecurity as I simply cannot understand an otherwise normally secure person doing that.




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RE: What is Tribute? - 7/8/2014 7:41:59 PM   
TNDommeK


Posts: 7153
Joined: 3/13/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: JstAnotherSub

That may be it crazy, I mean I think she is a groovy chick, but something about the not knowing the slaves name hit me funny. I hope she will come back and comment on it, because I am absolutely open to being proven wrong!




I totally hear what you're saying, and I didn't take it wrong.
Steel is right, I don't remember the screen names. I know exactly the real names of who posted.

As far as what I get out of it, of course I enjoy the gifts and money. What girl wouldn't? But I also enjoy the power and control.
To me, that's kinda a perk of being in charge...the control.

I hope I answered this right, any questions you have, feel free to ask. :)


_____________________________

Goddess of Duck Lips and Luxurious Hair
The working Fin Domme
Professional con artist, swindler, trixster, extortionist

Our snark-nado needs more cowbell


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Profile   Post #: 38
RE: What is Tribute? - 7/8/2014 7:45:57 PM   
TNDommeK


Posts: 7153
Joined: 3/13/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Mouth4Mistress

quote:

ORIGINAL: Snitch
quote:

ORIGINAL: TuliTheUnruli
It isn't pro-dom, and it isn't financial domination; so what is it?

IMHO, since prostitution (sexual gratification for money involving touching buttocks, breasts, or genitalia) is mostly illegal in the US, tribute is most often used to ask for money. Just like roses are a metaphor for dollars.
Also IMHO, there is no such thing as financial domination. It's prostitution again. It always boils down to that, if there is technical touching of breasts, buttocks, or genitalia for the purpose of sexual gratification (of either party).


I agree 100%. It seems that most "findommes" appeared here once Craigslist Erotic Services got shut down, and the trend has continued.

IMHO, if I'm giving a woman money for sexual favors, I'm the one in control - and that directly contradicts the idea of surrendering control. So for a sub to pay a Domme, in my perception, just seems weird.


I wanted to touch base on this..."if I give money for sexual favors, I'm in control".

I agree. 100%
However, there are a small select few of us that don't NEED the money and if you're not falling in line with what we have then we would redirect you and your money elsewhere. I have done it plenty of times. To me that's one of the differences between a finduck and finDomme. It's never about sexual satisfaction. I enjoy pain(inflicting) denial and chastity. They know this upfront.


< Message edited by TNDommeK -- 7/8/2014 7:48:21 PM >

_____________________________

Goddess of Duck Lips and Luxurious Hair
The working Fin Domme
Professional con artist, swindler, trixster, extortionist

Our snark-nado needs more cowbell


(in reply to Mouth4Mistress)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: What is Tribute? - 7/8/2014 8:45:30 PM   
AAkasha


Posts: 4429
Joined: 11/27/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TNDommeK

I wanted to touch base on this..."if I give money for sexual favors, I'm in control".

I agree. 100%
However, there are a small select few of us that don't NEED the money and if you're not falling in line with what we have then we would redirect you and your money elsewhere. I have done it plenty of times. To me that's one of the differences between a finduck and finDomme. It's never about sexual satisfaction. I enjoy pain(inflicting) denial and chastity. They know this upfront.




There is a big difference between a woman who is working as any kind of pro femdom / findomme for a hobby or "extra cash" vs. one working that gig for a living, to pay rent, etc. A woman who just does it for her own entertainment with the added benefit of additional money or gifts can pick and choose her clients.

In the 90s I dabbled a lot in phone domination and it was a hoot. If I didn't feel like it, I canceled my 'available hours.' If a sub called me and I felt after five minutes it was awful and boring me to tears, I would not charge his card and send him on his way. I had some that I worked my way through but when they asked for a second session, I turned them down.

You feel kind of bad turning down a guy who wants to talk/session so bad he is willing to pay and you say no, but my theory was that I wasn't about to sit there and feel bored/disgusted OR feel like I was being too manipulated - forget it. It's almost like a vanilla woman would be better at that - faking it. As a femdom, nothing pissed me off more than a guy hinting at what he wanted done, or whining, or trying to manipulate me into playing into his fantasies. I had a list of other pay femdoms to send him too if that's what he wanted.

I took the money and bought kinky toys. A lot of that. Sometimes I would take a break that would last 6 weeks, sometimes I would do it every night for 5 days. Sometimes 3 men would call me a night, sometimes no one would call. It was always hit or miss. Men would call to "Schedule" with me and I always had the caveat that if I wasn't "in the mood" we would have to reschedule.

If you don't need the money to survive, you get to pick and choose. My girlfriend used to come over and we'd do it together - like a "double domme" thing. We had one client who was the typical robotic, "Yes Mistress. No Mistress" zombie (zero inflection) and that's ALL HE WOULD SAY. We told him no, we won't do it, it was driving us bonkers. He begged and begged in email over the weeks, saying he would be better. Always the same thing. I told him I would charge him triple and only do 15 minutes, that's all we could stand, because it was like talking to a wall. The guy paid, and after, we agreed it still wasn't worth it. He offered to pay more, and we said no.

Akasha

_____________________________

Akasha's Web - All original Femdom content since 1995
Don't email me here, email me at [email protected]

(in reply to TNDommeK)
Profile   Post #: 40
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