CynthiaWVirginia
Posts: 1915
Joined: 2/28/2010
From: West Virginia, USA
Status: offline
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I'm taking the liberty of adding numbers to this list, to avoid endless quote boxes as I reply.
quote:
ORIGINAL: Galacia
OK. So I finally figured out what femdom really means (or, um, at least I think I did).
Based on my comprehensive search of the scientific literature (ok, ok, all I did was watch porn videos on the web), femdom apparently means (in no particular order yet):
1 A lot of sniffing and licking of feet
2 Way more kicking of the balls than kissing and fondling them
3 Wearing of a black face mask, and getting slapped (or kicked) in the face, repeatedly
4 Having smoke blown in your face, and your mouth used as an ashtray
5 Speaking of tongues, there's precious little booby and pussy licking (surprisingly)
6 The tongue is mostly used for feet (and butts) < == yes, both kinds of butts
7 Did I mention a lot of sniffing and licking of women's feet?
8 Whipping of buttocks and a lot of kicking and squeezing of sensitive balls
9 Not much face sitting - must be more work than blowing smoke in someone's face
10 There's something about high heels being pushed into balls and walking on people's back that I don't understand
11 Some ureter penetration (sounds) and a lot of strapon butt fucking
12 Licking of shoes, and cum dribbles, and creampie cleanup, and, in general, licking of any spilled fluid
13 Training on all fours, with collars and leashes
14 Girls in tag teams, doing, well, I'm not sure what - but they laugh a lot - and hit the guy a few times - and then giggle anew
15 Spit. What's with all this spit? They spit to lube the dildo, ok, but there's a lot of spitting into mouths
16 Kneeing men in the balls is second only to kicking them in teams of girls
17 There are some service-related tasks, like doing the dishes, but not enough really to call it out as a genre
18 There are a few nipple twists and ruined orgasmic CFNM handjobs, but not really enough to call it out
19 Every once in a while, you see a guy obediently sitting there getting repeatedly kicked in the face
20 Most of the time, it's just the femdom sitting on a couch with the submissive kneeling or otherwise acting as a foot stool
21 There are a few cuckold scenes, mostly where the guys cleans up after another guy has done his business
22 It's amazing how HUGE some of those dildoes are though! Whew!
23 There is some small-penis humiliation but most of the guys have tiny penises to start with (no long john silvers here)
24 There are a few female-to-female femdom activities, but they don't seem to be any different, so I don't call them out
25 There were a few fucking machines, but, you just know they're all staged since men build this stuff mostly
26 I'd say more than half the women look bored in these films, and many look at the camera - so horror upon horror - they're staged
27 There is a lot less cross-dressing sissy-boy barbie doll stuff than I would have thought big girls would wish to do
28 There is some pony play, and barking pet stuff, but not a whole lot of animal training overall
29 There is a lot of licking the bottom of dirty shoes, and, surprisingly, a ton of six-inch heels being polished with the male tongue
30 There are some hanging of heavy weights, locked in stocks, and other contraptional stuff, most of which you know men designed
31 There's a hellova lot more scatting and pissing than there is kissing, which is one of the more surprising observations
32 In fact, there's almost no kissing whatsoever. No cuddling. No soft caresses (that don't end up in orgasm denial anyway)
33 The number of blowjobs is so low as to be statistically insignificant (the men are often told to jack themselves off)
34 The main words spoken by the men is "Yes Mistress" or "Thank you Mistress", and, well, not much else by way of scripting
35 It's hard to summarize the blather by the women ... mostly it's "lick my feet, bitch" type stuff
36 There's a lot of smelling of people's used shoes ... which is second only to the licking of feet for some odd reason
37 There's some electro play, but not a whole lot of it (mostly wrapped around a cock and balls)
38 There are many cock cages and leashes around cocks and balls and a few wooden spoon spankings of cocks
39 There's certainly not a whole lot of (any?) kissing, cuddling, and, in general, teddy-bear loving going on.
40 And, last, but not least, apparently there's a lot of sniffing and licking of smelly toes and feet going on in femdom land!
Overall, the women look disinterested, for the most part, unimaginative, less concerned with their own orgasm than one would think, and vastly focused on what happens to their little tiny feet!
However, I do admit, that's just a survey of femdom porn videos.
What about real life (of which I know nothing)?
Is this list of what I've seen is in any way representative of real femdom life (or is it just porn marketing fantasy)?
Did I miss anything?
Or is this list femdom BDSM business as usual?
Porn marketing fantasy. You nailed it. Now to reply to most of your questions, one by one.
1) Only for people who have a foot fetish, or have some other need that needs to be met. I've had past subs and friendly bottoms who had a foot fetish or shoe/boot/stocking fetish. The only time my feet are messed with is when I want a foot bath, a pedicure, and some foot worship. Maybe a few times per month, tops.
2) Um, way more fondling than ouchies. And...no kicking the nuts at all. (I have special, tiny floggers for this, when I'm not using my fingers or nails.) Kissing, nibbling, some tongue...yep, I also do this to my slave.
3) No black face mask. Sometimes a blindfold but that's all. I like face slapping but won't go there with bo because I could damage an old neck/spine injury. No face kicking, ever, with anyone. I spent years going to chiropractors and don't want to send bo to one.
4) Ex-smoker. My last cigarette was something like 27 years ago. If ever I were to go back to smoking, it would be for those long, old Hollywood movie type cigarette holders...and I'm more likely to tap the ashes onto his dick/scrotum than into his mouth. (I won't ever go back to cigs, so...he's safe.)
5) bo has a tiny little mouth, and I like to have a big mouth full of my breast sucked inside my lover's mouth. The little bit of sucking on the tip does nothing for me, so yes, there's very little breast suckage or lickage going in in my household. Pussy licking? (My life is nothing like those BDSM porn movies, cuz yes, I almost smother him and get most of his face wet.)
6) Um... No to the first part, and sort of yes to the second part.
7) You sure did. 
8) Yes, no, and yes. If that's what I'm in the mood for. Some days I prefer to make use of him as my servant and am not hungry for impact play. Sometimes I want bondage, edging, or just to bend him over the back of the couch (or hang him in a sex swing) and fuck him with my strapon.
9) Blowing smoke in someone's face is easy. Lowering a big fat ass like mine onto someone's face without breaking their neck or nose, etc., that takes more control. I'm not a spring chicken anymore and my knees are often too ouchie and stiff to risk losing my balance and killing him. Also, this would be "breath play" and he has smothering triggers from being in a mining cave in years ago. In other words, he could freak out, completely lose it and hurl me across the room and into a wall...and then I would be the one in the hospital, not him.
10) Even when I was height/weight proportionate, I wasn't into that. My ankles were bad from numerous sports accidents and one small oops would skewer someone and send them to the hospital.
11) Um, what can I say? Guilty as charged. (wide evil grin) I don't hurt him; I made him LOVE IT. Some people are into these things and some aren't. It took me eight or nine years before these types of play put a glint in my eye.
12) I'm not into any of that. Except...if anyone I'm ever with mentions one teeny little time about how yummy their cum is or that OTHER women swallow, they're going to be the one eating up every last drop of their own spunk for a very long time.
13) Um, yep. And don't forget the metal doggie bowl, one large enough for him to have his full face reach the bottom. The cages. And possible some newspapers. It's all good.
14) Nope. No giggling tag team.
15) No spitting, except for the very rare occasions when I want to spit on his dick because it's annoying me (and hard) and too close to my face. (If he's bringing me my hot tea or something like that.) I use lube for dildos, etc., not spit.
16) Never done it, never seen it in real time. A lot of guys lurking on the internet are into the fantasy of ball busting...what they wank to and what they can really handle in real time are often two entirely different things.
17) Being service oriented is indeed valid. (It floats my boat.) Not everyone is into it and that's okay. There are a lot of kinks that do nothing for me.
18) Um...if the CFNM movie sucked, try something else that's more interesting. I like/live CFNM with my slave (he wears clothing only when we go outside, or when I want to dress him up because it's fun) and I do a hell of a lot more than nipple twisting and ruined orgasms via hand jobs.
19) I'm not into that, nor do I watch porn flicks that cater to that fetish.
20) Hm, okay, I confess that a lot of the time that's me. I'm on the couch watching tv or playing Pokemon on my 3DS, and I may or may not be making use of him for my own personal convenience. I'm not tying him up and beating him or fucking him ALL THE TIME. Real life, yanno, is real life. There are plenty of couch sitting type moments.
21) I'm not into cuckolding. I want just one fluid bonded person in my life at a time, and I tend to fall in love with the guy I'm having regular sex with. Several lovers would get very emotionally confusing for me. Having an equal serve as the stud...eh, I prefer submissives. Doms? Nope. Vanillas? Heck no! A harem of submissive males? No...too much work, I'm too lazy for that.
22) Um, yep, there are some HUGE dildos out there. Many are in our primary dungeon, lol. It takes time, the ability to stuff huge things up there doesn't happen overnight. Some people are not into using larger than average sized toys, but in movies...the audience likes things to look larger than life.
23) This is to cater to the guys who are into small penis humiliation. I sometimes am into that too, but I enjoy the taunting aspect...it wouldn't be fun for me to make fun of a guy whose dick really was the size of a Vienna Sausage when he had a hardon.
24) I've topped or co-topped females. An ass is an ass, a back is a back, a butthole is a butthole, whether male or female. Boobies were different.  My clothes have always stayed completely on and intact, and my mouth is something I reserve for use on my own property. I'm straight and not even bi-curious.
25) We own a fucking machine. I tried it out on myself once and didn't enjoy it, but bo...goes totally nuts and will holler and writhe and pant like a dog until he cums real hard. Sometimes I make him wait for about an hour. It's fun being the one holding the "remote control".
26) They are "actresses" and their acting sucked. (Why would I do something that bored me? How would that make me feel more powerful and in charge if I were merely servicing the boring needs of men or of an audience?)
27) Many guys are...more into dressing femme than there are women who get off on dressing them up. Go over to Fet and look at my slave's profile if you want to see how far I like to go. Yep, I chose that skirt. Nope, I don't like girly stuff on the upper half of his body. I like his body hair and enjoy seeing the contrast of hairy legs (very nicely shaped legs) with black hose and/or certain lingerie items. Guys in girly makeup don't get me hot.
28) Someone wrote the script, and I'm guessing that it's a vanilla who is trying to recreate some fantasies...without bothering to consult with kinksters who are heavily into these kinks in real time.
29) For the guys who have a major shoe licking fetish, lol. I'm not into that...unless it drastically alters my property's headspace and I want that end result.
30) Yes. And about men building all of this stuff... Why should I break a nail building this stuff to use on men...when there are perfectly handy guys lying about, ready and willing to do all that grunt work?
31) I'm not into scat. Pissing...eh...if the animal in me feels the need to mark my territory, yes. I'm not into making someone drink my urine though.
32) They're movies made to give men wank fodder. Most horney guys would rather watch an action movie than a "chick flick". This probably carries over into BDSM porn movies too. Many of us have loving relationships with lots of cuddling and kisses and hugs.
33) I love giving blowjobs (as long as cum hits outside of my mouth), but my slave has genital piercings and those change his taste. And make me in danger of having a tooth chipped. He wanted the piercings so I allowed them. At the same time I told him what he would be mostly doing without as a consequence.
34) "Yes, Mistress" etc., are common, both within scenes and in our common ordinary life together. We're human beings in a real relationship, so yes, we talk about everything under the sun. Of course, if he annoyed me, I'd have no problem with restricting his speech for however long as I wanted. If he was forgetful, there's always...gags.
35) I don't blather. Unless I'm having a panic attack from some trigger that got pushed. Btw, are BDSM porn movies supposed to have good dialogue?
36) I've been approached by countless guys who wanted to sniff/lick/whatever my dirty feet or dirty shoes. Freshly cleaned feet weren't a turn on for them, they expected to lick up some toe jam and all kinds of ick. (Lips that touch toe jam will never touch mine. Enough said, lol.) No, I'm not into this and neither is my slave.
37) Yes, we're into that. To others watching (who cannot feel what bo is feeling)...what we do...would likely be VERY boring. We have stuff that gets the job done, not some flashy pretty thing like a Violet Wand with all it's attachments.
38) Um, yep. It's all fun if you're into that kind of thing.
39) I answered this in #32
40) Answered that already too.
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RE: A comprehensive survey of what femdom really means ... - 
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