Hey, it's okay, we're consenting adults

Hey, it's okay, we're consenting adults (Full Version)

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ExiledTyrant -> Hey, it's okay, we're consenting adults (9/12/2014 8:07:06 AM)
I was perusing another thread and find myself stymied by stupidity, yet again. I know, shocker, right? We often get inundated with stupidity from new posters, and far too often by a regular poster, that thinks public kink is the coolest thing EVER! They always justify this by, "Hey, it's okay, we're consenting adults" and in their simple little minds, it is okay. Now, I'm curious how being the victim of a non-consensual display would effect them, let's say: Being in an elevator with someone with chronic flatulence, you consented to get on the elevator, after all. A radical Muslim beheading. It is, after all, their kink. Nose blowers/pickers at a restaurant. You consented to endure it by walking in. They brat child kicking the back of your airline seat. A road side strip search in LA. Ain't that America. Jehovah's' witnesses that don't take no for an answer. Some of the above is pretty extreme stuff. However, exposing some kink in public is equally extreme in some views. Is it the insecure idiot that has to utilize vulgar public displays of D/s to overcompensate for the lack of genuine control in the dynamic or what?

defiantbadgirl -> RE: Hey, it's okay, we're consenting adults (9/12/2014 10:11:00 AM)
Public kink? I'd advise anyone to proceed with caution, especially in the United States. You don't want to end up on the sex offender list for the rest of your life. I've read about people being forced to register as sex offenders because they were caught pissing outside and charged with indecent exposure. It's ridiculous

Gauge -> RE: Hey, it's okay, we're consenting adults (9/12/2014 10:42:59 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ExiledTyrant I was perusing another thread and find myself stymied by stupidity, yet again. I know, shocker, right? We often get inundated with stupidity from new posters, and far too often by a regular poster, that thinks public kink is the coolest thing EVER! They always justify this by, "Hey, it's okay, we're consenting adults" and in their simple little minds, it is okay. Now, I'm curious how being the victim of a non-consensual display would effect them, let's say: Being in an elevator with someone with chronic flatulence, you consented to get on the elevator, after all. A radical Muslim beheading. It is, after all, their kink. Nose blowers/pickers at a restaurant. You consented to endure it by walking in. They brat child kicking the back of your airline seat. A road side strip search in LA. Ain't that America. Jehovah's' witnesses that don't take no for an answer. Some of the above is pretty extreme stuff. However, exposing some kink in public is equally extreme in some views. Is it the insecure idiot that has to utilize vulgar public displays of D/s to overcompensate for the lack of genuine control in the dynamic or what? Good topic. I would suppose it would depend on the level of kink involved. I was in NYC a few months back and saw a guy leading a girl down the street on a leash, she had a collar on and was decked out in latex and fuck-me style boots. It didn't hurt that she looked like a supermodel, but I was watching and observing the reactions they were getting. Some people kind of stared in disbelief, others glanced and turned away in horror, others pretended not to look, still others kind of dug the entire thing. Me, I watched the entire thing, drinking it in and had mixed feelings about it even though I approved. On one hand I felt that it was not something for the public... call that the puritan side of me desperately gasping for air because it doesn't get out much. On the other hand I felt that it was pretty damn cool that they were comfortable enough with their lifestyle that they felt no shame for it. And still, on the other hand I kind of felt bad for the people that were horrified. In a setting like NYC, I am kind of surprised that anyone noticed at all. Are public displays of light kink with no nudity vulgar or are people just too fucking uptight about sex in general in this country? I don't think that a public display as I described above demonstrated an example of gross overcompensation for lack of control, I saw it as freedom for both of them. If we want to get nitpicky about the whole thing, if the display above is offensive, then so is the gay male prancing around in high heels and a pink feather boa singing show tunes and dripping homosexuality all over the place. If that is acceptable in today's society, bring on the leashes, the public slut walkings and whatever else that allows someone to express themselves in front of others without crossing into outright sexual displays. Oh, please don't bust my balls about being a homophobic shithead... it was an example, and that is all it was.

ExiledTyrant -> RE: Hey, it's okay, we're consenting adults (9/12/2014 10:54:57 AM)
Thanks Gauge, good reply you homophobic shithead. I think your examples are exactly within the framework of the topic. While I'd respect the choice of each example, I would respect them a great deal more in an appropriate setting. I'm not interested in anyone coming to a kink party and speaking in tongues, displaying stigmata, or preaching, odd shit like that crosses my mind when I see flagrant disregard for respect for others. On the same token, I think people that get offended by a breast feeding mother needs strangled with a wonder bra. Jus sayin

Blonderfluff -> RE: Hey, it's okay, we're consenting adults (9/12/2014 11:06:35 AM)
My take on Gauges scenario would have been "what an insecure Master". But that's just me. From a kink standpoint, I think it's perfectly acceptable. They didn't parade down Main Street, Iowa. It was Manhattan. Not all public settings are created equal, IMO . The only thing I've ever protested to witnessing in public, was a parent hitting and berating a child. As long as no one is getting hurt, and I still have control of my neck muscles to turn the other way if I wish, carry on in your quest for attention.

subrosaDom -> RE: Hey, it's okay, we're consenting adults (9/12/2014 11:14:20 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ExiledTyrant Thanks Gauge, good reply you homophobic shithead. I think your examples are exactly within the framework of the topic. While I'd respect the choice of each example, I would respect them a great deal more in an appropriate setting. I'm not interested in anyone coming to a kink party and speaking in tongues, displaying stigmata, or preaching, odd shit like that crosses my mind when I see flagrant disregard for respect for others. On the same token, I think people that get offended by a breast feeding mother needs strangled with a wonder bra. Jus sayin Indeed, I've never been impressed by anyone that goes to great lengths just to "show" other people exactly what they are. With a few exceptions, these are examples to me of insecurity, not pride. March in a gay parade? Awesome. Do a circle jerk in public just to show you are "proud"? Not very awesome at all. The same would apply to M-F interactions such as cunnilingus or even breast groping and certainly fellatio. Now, if you want to have an art exhibit or something that doesn't force people to see the intimate details of your life, by all means. This shouldn't be prohibited by any means, but neither is their anything special about proving it to others. This is why a sexy outfit for a woman may have an impressive decolletage, rather than cutouts for her nipples to face the light of day. An overweening desire to prove to others what you are and what you do is most often, some civil rights matters excepted, an indication that you need someone else's approval rather than being secure that you approve of yourself. (Entertainers are excepted because you have to pay to see them, so if you don't like Lady Gaga or Madonna, don't buy a ticket.)

ExiledTyrant -> RE: Hey, it's okay, we're consenting adults (9/12/2014 11:23:29 AM)
Exactly SD. I would assume that, for most reasonable people, the necessary approval is coming from within the dynamic. Maybe not even spoken approval, the fact the /s remains in the dynamic is proof positive. Jus sayin

crazyml -> RE: Hey, it's okay, we're consenting adults (9/12/2014 11:42:53 AM)
Your example is a toughie. .. given my general point of view that involving non consenting others in your kink is not cool, I'm now having to mull over the fact that my reaction to the example you gave was actually "cool!" I think it depends what the kink is, and to what extent it acts on my desire to not be placed in a situation where I would feel uncomfortable either myself or on behalf of others. My acid test would be... how would I feel if my kids saw "it" whatever it was. If I was with my kids and we saw the scene you described I think it would be an opportunity to talk to the about freedom of expression, consent, and relationships. If, however, she'd been naked, or in any kind of distress, they'd be getting a lesson in when it's okay to intervene.

Gauge -> RE: Hey, it's okay, we're consenting adults (9/12/2014 11:43:58 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ExiledTyrant Thanks Gauge, good reply you homophobic shithead. I think your examples are exactly within the framework of the topic. While I'd respect the choice of each example, I would respect them a great deal more in an appropriate setting. I'm not interested in anyone coming to a kink party and speaking in tongues, displaying stigmata, or preaching, odd shit like that crosses my mind when I see flagrant disregard for respect for others. On the same token, I think people that get offended by a breast feeding mother needs strangled with a wonder bra. Jus sayin Sure, I get that you don't want someone walking into a kink party and preaching. That makes perfect sense to me, but that is an event dedicated for a purpose and not your local city street. The breast feeding example is perfect for illustrating the fact that people are just too fucking uptight about sex in this country.

ExiledTyrant -> RE: Hey, it's okay, we're consenting adults (9/12/2014 11:51:36 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Gauge quote: ORIGINAL: ExiledTyrant Thanks Gauge, good reply you homophobic shithead. I think your examples are exactly within the framework of the topic. While I'd respect the choice of each example, I would respect them a great deal more in an appropriate setting. I'm not interested in anyone coming to a kink party and speaking in tongues, displaying stigmata, or preaching, odd shit like that crosses my mind when I see flagrant disregard for respect for others. On the same token, I think people that get offended by a breast feeding mother needs strangled with a wonder bra. Jus sayin Sure, I get that you don't want someone walking into a kink party and preaching. That makes perfect sense to me, but that is an event dedicated for a purpose and not your local city street. The breast feeding example is perfect for illustrating the fact that people are just too fucking uptight about sex in this country. That is where the rub lies. As Crazyml pointed out, if his kids were present... When I go out in public I expect to see some weird shit, like the three hundred pound panhandler holding a sign that says "starving, need help" and if I were meandering through "KinkTopia" I'd love to see Miss Latex on her leash for a walk in the park. As miss fluff pointed out, not only does it stink of insecure, it is extremely non-consensual to the public majority. I suppose that I think a dynamic should remain within the dynamic and/or among consenting peers. Jus sayin

Gauge -> RE: Hey, it's okay, we're consenting adults (9/12/2014 11:52:58 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Blonderfluff My take on Gauges scenario would have been "what an insecure Master". But that's just me. From a kink standpoint, I think it's perfectly acceptable. Why must it be insecurity? I don't think that is a fair assessment of a person without knowing them. Maybe their kink is public humiliation and she gets screaming wet from being displayed like a domestic animal. I am not insecure and I have thought about walking my slut, and she kind of digs the idea too. I have zero to prove to anyone, nor do I need their approval. Not sure I would ever do it, but I have thought about it. quote: They didn't parade down Main Street, Iowa. It was Manhattan. Not all public settings are created equal, IMO . Oh come now, public is the public no matter what the setting. A higher concentration of conservative or liberal twats should not make it a less or more appropriate setting. I respect your point however and to a degree, I agree.

Gauge -> RE: Hey, it's okay, we're consenting adults (9/12/2014 11:58:30 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: subrosaDom Indeed, I've never been impressed by anyone that goes to great lengths just to "show" other people exactly what they are. With a few exceptions, these are examples to me of insecurity, not pride. March in a gay parade? Awesome. Do a circle jerk in public just to show you are "proud"? Not very awesome at all. The same would apply to M-F interactions such as cunnilingus or even breast groping and certainly fellatio. Now, if you want to have an art exhibit or something that doesn't force people to see the intimate details of your life, by all means. This shouldn't be prohibited by any means, but neither is their anything special about proving it to others. This is why a sexy outfit for a woman may have an impressive decolletage, rather than cutouts for her nipples to face the light of day. An overweening desire to prove to others what you are and what you do is most often, some civil rights matters excepted, an indication that you need someone else's approval rather than being secure that you approve of yourself. (Entertainers are excepted because you have to pay to see them, so if you don't like Lady Gaga or Madonna, don't buy a ticket.) Oddly, I agree with you, I kind of feel that if you need to display it, my level of respect for what you are displaying drops proportionately to the degree of flaunting. The quiet confidence in who you are will garner a great deal more respect from me. I guess I am talking about that freedom to express ones self, which I am all for within the constraints of good taste and the law of course.

littleladybug -> RE: Hey, it's okay, we're consenting adults (9/12/2014 11:58:44 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: subrosaDom Indeed, I've never been impressed by anyone that goes to great lengths just to "show" other people exactly what they are. With a few exceptions, these are examples to me of insecurity, not pride. March in a gay parade? Awesome. Do a circle jerk in public just to show you are "proud"? Not very awesome at all. 100% agreed. I have a dear friend who is gay. I, as well as the rest of our circle of friends, accepted it without question. Several weeks ago, I told one of our mutual friends that I was meeting him for dinner. She told me "say hi, and let him know that we really do accept him and he doesn't need to prove his gayness to us". Seriously, this guy will literally tell you, "here's the gay thing that I did today". Ok...cool...but unless it's germane to the conversation....it just gets annoying. Insecurity rearing its ugly head? You betcha. I respect people who have respect for others. Just because you can do something, doesn't mean you should do it. My closest girlfriend is as vanilla as I can imagine. She almost goes apoplectic when "anal sex" is mentioned. Of course, I could have a lot of fun with her when I speak of what my own desires are...and sometimes I do, when the situation is right...but, generally, I show restraint, because her desires are not mine, and I respect that. Why the need to "prove" anything? I remember, several years back, I was at the "Happiest Place on Earth"...standing in line, close to a couple (seemingly heterosexual) who couldn't keep their hands off each other. I heard the whispering...parents trying to explain this to their kids. Why is there a need to force people to explain things to their kids?? Literally, take it to the bedroom.... There is a time and a place for everything...and when people don't have any respect for the feelings of those around them, I find it extremely hard to respect them, whatever their inclinations may be.

Gauge -> RE: Hey, it's okay, we're consenting adults (9/12/2014 12:07:17 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ExiledTyrant That is where the rub lies. As Crazyml pointed out, if his kids were present... When I go out in public I expect to see some weird shit, like the three hundred pound panhandler holding a sign that says "starving, need help" and if I were meandering through "KinkTopia" I'd love to see Miss Latex on her leash for a walk in the park. As miss fluff pointed out, not only does it stink of insecure, it is extremely non-consensual to the public majority. I suppose that I think a dynamic should remain within the dynamic and/or among consenting peers. Jus sayin OK. Then let's put all the gay people on an island where they won't offend anyone. Let's put those with handicaps on another island too. For that matter, let's separate everyone for fear of offending anyone... ever. I am not trying to be a douchebag, I am simply attempting to point out... possibly poorly... that we all see things we may not like, it doesn't make them wrong within the confines that I described before. Please explain why it must be insecure to display something like this publicly. I want to understand.

ExiledTyrant -> RE: Hey, it's okay, we're consenting adults (9/12/2014 12:09:45 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Gauge quote: ORIGINAL: ExiledTyrant That is where the rub lies. As Crazyml pointed out, if his kids were present... When I go out in public I expect to see some weird shit, like the three hundred pound panhandler holding a sign that says "starving, need help" and if I were meandering through "KinkTopia" I'd love to see Miss Latex on her leash for a walk in the park. As miss fluff pointed out, not only does it stink of insecure, it is extremely non-consensual to the public majority. I suppose that I think a dynamic should remain within the dynamic and/or among consenting peers. Jus sayin OK. Then let's put all the gay people on an island where they won't offend anyone. Let's put those with handicaps on another island too. For that matter, let's separate everyone for fear of offending anyone... ever. I am not trying to be a douchebag, I am simply attempting to point out... possibly poorly... that we all see things we may not like, it doesn't make them wrong within the confines that I described before. Please explain why it must be insecure to display something like this publicly. I want to understand. That's a bit knee-jerk, Gauge. Very uncharacteristic of you.

Gauge -> RE: Hey, it's okay, we're consenting adults (9/12/2014 1:19:30 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ExiledTyrant That's a bit knee-jerk, Gauge. Very uncharacteristic of you. It wasn't meant to be. My apology for that. Like I said, it was a potentially poor way of making a point, but my insomnia has been bad here of late and I am typing through a thick fog. Maybe this will help, or make things worse... you decide. We cannot shelter ourselves from everything that we don't agree with or approve of seeing. I am trying to stand up for a little freedom to be what people want to be without going overboard. I think I may be failing miserably.

Exidor -> RE: Hey, it's okay, we're consenting adults (9/12/2014 1:33:35 PM)
Hmph. Leashes were "in", briefly, about the time of the baby pacifier fad. That was shortly after the "dual wristwatches" fad.

ExiledTyrant -> RE: Hey, it's okay, we're consenting adults (9/12/2014 1:36:48 PM)
I figured that was where you were going. Being the prick I am, I wanted to divert you back to it. My primary annoyance is people that like to push their shit on kids. I realize we cannot shelter them from everything, but if people would rein in their bull shit, there would be much less to shelter them from. I'm a gun owner, my kids always knew, even when the weapon was dismantled that it was loaded and dangerous. The viable threat to them, the very reason I own weapons, was we lived in an area that had dangerous critters. I did not allow them to watch the news because the most tangible threat I wanted them to realize was the critters in the woods and not the gang bangers in the hood. I also raised them without gender roles, and to love their partner for all they were worth... Love their partner, the sex of said partner was irrelevant. I knew that time and curiosity would expose them to more of my world, and other things that exist outside my world, but I allowed for time and curiosity to do it, rather than me.

SeekingTrinity -> RE: Hey, it's okay, we're consenting adults (9/12/2014 1:52:01 PM)
~FRing it~ For me, it comes down to setting. If we are in Times Square or a fetish club or Folsom Street Fair, I'm already on notice that these are pretty much "anything goes" type of places. I can exercise judgment as a parent by not taking my children to those places. That being said, I think that people who want to let their kink flag fly should also exercise discretion and consideration of others too. I'm very open minded and willing to talk with my kids about things, but they are just not ready or mature enough to handle some discussions. And Id like to not be forced into having discussion on a subject I know they aren't ready for. Id like to hope that wasn't too much to ask. Im all for folks living their lives the way they want. But Id like to be able to live mine and let my kids live theirs too [:)]

FieryOpal -> RE: Hey, it's okay, we're consenting adults (9/12/2014 2:04:41 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Gauge Please explain why it must be insecure to display something like this publicly. I want to understand. Public displays are a form of exhibitionism. By parading yourselves around in a public venue, you are forcing bystanders to be your unwilling (in many cases) spectators, hence non-consensual voyeurs. If this tickles somebody's voyeuristic fancy, that's purely incidental to the situation being witnessed. I also agree that this smacks of insecurity. Do I need to see a woman walking around with her tits hanging out or side boobage? I don't want to see that (oftentimes sagging braless) crap, and it sets a bad example for kids. The same with young guys waddling around with their colored briefs exposed because they don't have the decency to pull up their cargo pants to the top of their hips or wear a belt, convinced of the coolness of their fashion style. This isn't simply a matter of decorum or showing that you have some class and weren't raised in a barn. There's a time and place for show-offiness, and it's wrong to be in strangers' faces while you're going about it. ETA: As for breastfeeding in public, I have never seen an indiscreet mother who didn't cover herself and her baby with a blanket or pull her garments to minimize breast exposure. Not that I have an issue with that either, having lived in Third World countries where a natural function such as this is on par with feeding your other children in public when they're hungry. When I was a nursing mother, my main concern was my own modesty in not accidentally arousing some strange male in the process of attending to my baby, so I would occasionally bring a back-up bottle with me when going out, just in case my privacy got compromised.

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