RE: Should a person disclose...

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

RE: Should a person disclose...

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: Should a person disclose...

Page: << < prev 2 3 4 5 [6]

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: Should a person disclose... - 10/12/2014 7:00:03 AM

CaptR

Posts: 425
Joined: 4/25/2012
Status: offline

I feel any information that's important regarding whether or not two people are compatible should be asked about before committing to a point that one suffers irreversible regret of any sort. I don't condone lying by omission but nor do I place the onus solely on one person for the dissemination of pertinent info. If I were to still be seeking a prospective partner and did not glean the info that defines "deal breaker" to me and it's disclosed during a face to face then shame on me for not asking prior to meeting. I believe the OP stated he was told of his prospects condition prior to any physical involvement. It could have gone much worse.
As for hiding ones identity on social media there are those that choose to and those that don't for whatever personal reasons. By all means if you're comfortable telling the world you have, HPV, HSV, HIV, crabs, chiggers or cooties go for it. I'm defending the position of those who aren't and prefer a modicum of privacy until they're comfortable giving that information to someone as long as they do so before it impacts that persons health and well being. If you're told in person and it pissed you off, oh well. Put your big boy or girl pants on and get over the fact you had a disappointment in your special life instead of an std.
I'm sure there is private information quite a few people retain right here on this site, dating sites, etc that's not disclosed prior to meeting someone. Not everyone babbles away their life story and health issues to every Tom, Dick and Jane spoken to on the internet. Comfort and trust with anyone is defined on many levels and built from both sides of the fence and don't think your pastor, boss, neighbor or even spouse isn't perusing sites like this. If some day hypothetical you come face to face with one of them via interaction here it just may be because the right questions weren't asked or, someone just lied.

< Message edited by CaptR -- 10/12/2014 7:49:04 AM >

(in reply to DesFIP)

Profile

Post #: 101

RE: Should a person disclose... - 10/12/2014 4:11:56 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

I'm just curious as to how you feel your mother or boss will identify you here based on your screen name and no picture. That to me, seems paranoia. Unless you do disclose identifiable information on your profile, in which case I would suggest you remove it.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to CaptR)

Profile

Post #: 102

RE: Should a person disclose... - 10/12/2014 6:44:45 PM

CaptR

Posts: 425
Joined: 4/25/2012
Status: offline

There was never any discussion in the OP that stated the persons std status be on a profile with no personal info or photo. Identifiable = personal as is health status. There is little anonymity on social media/ internet for a motivated person inclined to search. Surely a cynical person wouldn't have trouble digesting that possibility. As for my mother knowing I'm sure she's wagging a finger at me from Heaven as she passed when I was six and knows every boneheaded or accomplished thing I've done since.

Now I'm going to be sophomoric and point out this is post #69 for me. A mere neophyte in learned and experienced company on CS.. Here's the satirical part, how appropriate you and I would be in this position giving one another lip service with no real satisfaction. :) suck harder please and I'll shut up and lick. Oh darn, I forgot to ask if you had a virus. Well, my bad.

< Message edited by CaptR -- 10/12/2014 7:27:47 PM >

(in reply to DesFIP)

Profile

Post #: 103

RE: Should a person disclose... - 10/13/2014 5:44:32 AM

FieryOpal

Posts: 2821
Joined: 12/8/2013
From: Maryland
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP
<snip>
We put the onus of disclosure on the other person. We don't ask five hundred questions to find out if they have something that we don't want to deal with.

Not mentioning it and blaming the other person for not asking about it is akin to lying by omission in my book. YMMV.
....

Amen.

I had a friend raise a valid point not long ago. He said that until I knew whether somebody has six toes on his foot, I didn't really know that person, did I?
(Incidentally, I wouldn't hold it against a guy if he did...I don't think. Haven't encountered that situation.)

Saying "Well, you never asked" is the biggest copout there is. This isn't high school. There isn't a person among us who hasn't been or felt rejected for consideration by a romantic interest or who hasn't been turned down for a (dream) job or promotion we were counting on. It's an unavoidable part of life, and hiding behind mommy's skirts isn't going to shield anybody from facing up to the truth, manning up and telling the truth in a forthright manner.

_____________________________

Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage. - Lao Tzu
There is no remedy for love but to love more. - Thoreau

(in reply to DesFIP)

Profile

Post #: 104

RE: Should a person disclose... - 10/13/2014 6:55:20 AM

CaptR

Posts: 425
Joined: 4/25/2012
Status: offline

I agree whole heartedly with telling the truth. I think the person disclosing private info has the right to do so when they're sure personal info they share is held in confidence by someone they deem trustworthy. If they wish to disclose voluntarily in person prior to sexual activity instead of online publicly it's their right to do so. As long as they protect the right of choice the other individual involved has.

< Message edited by CaptR -- 10/13/2014 6:58:49 AM >

(in reply to FieryOpal)

Profile

Post #: 105

RE: Should a person disclose... - 10/13/2014 7:40:58 AM

MariaB

Posts: 2969
Joined: 4/3/2007
Status: offline

Back in the days when I was online dating, I always mentioned, once things were looking good, that I would require a full STD screening before any intimacy was to take place and that in turn I would have a full STD screening with them. I guess that was their opportunity to tell me if they already knew about something. I have to say, I did have a few disappear on me at that point. That of course doesn't mean they had an STD but that they probably didn't know and didn't want to know. I think there are a lot more people who suspect something but live in denial and therefore, screening is an absolute must in my book. Surprisingly few people get tested for STD's.

_____________________________

My store is http://e-stimstore.com

(in reply to CaptR)

Profile

Post #: 106