RE: 10 hours of walking in NYC as a woman

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BlueCatLaughing -> RE: 10 hours of walking in NYC as a woman (11/5/2014 7:47:00 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Greta75 quote: ORIGINAL: shiftyw Greta, that totally makes women and men who can't bear children, even if they want to, sound like "less than" and it's totally unfair to say that in my opinion. Well, clearly if they are born being unable to have children, then their core gift isn't producing children and it's something else they are gifted with. So they are special and different. And will have other gifts, it's that straight forward. How generous of you to consider that subset 'special' instead of 'freaks of nature'.

Lucylastic -> RE: 10 hours of walking in NYC as a woman (11/5/2014 7:53:55 AM)
Ms Camille its nice to see you back among us:)

camille65 -> RE: 10 hours of walking in NYC as a woman (11/5/2014 7:55:42 AM)
Thanks! I'd utterly lost all log in information so I created a new account. Now... I dunno what to do lmao, I really miss this one yet I love the name of the new one. WHAT TO DO! I hate making decisions, that is why I've an owner lol.

shiftyw -> RE: 10 hours of walking in NYC as a woman (11/5/2014 8:11:29 AM)
I'm with ladybug on this one.

GoddessManko -> RE: 10 hours of walking in NYC as a woman (11/5/2014 8:17:59 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Greta75 quote: ORIGINAL: shiftyw Simply I do not agree with you that that is our intent on this earth and sole purpose. I think contributing to extinction of the human race is not exactly a great purpose but that's just my view. Of course some people do think that's a good cause too. Are you serious? Because last I checked, the human population is going up at an alarming rate. Choosing not to have children is actually a GENEROUS gesture. It minimizes the burden on already depleting resources.

SweetForDaddy -> RE: 10 hours of walking in NYC as a woman (11/5/2014 8:38:43 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Greta75 quote: ORIGINAL: shiftyw Simply I do not agree with you that that is our intent on this earth and sole purpose. And there is a difference between core purpose and sole purpose. A human is obviously capable of contributing alot more than just reproducing, but I'd say, core purpose is to live life, get wiser and then guide the new generation into the world with all the knowledge they have acquired. Pass it on. Keep the world going. I think contributing to extinction of the human race is not exactly a great purpose but that's just my view. Of course some people do think that's a good cause too. quote: ORIGINAL: Greta75 quote: ORIGINAL: shiftyw Greta, that totally makes women and men who can't bear children, even if they want to, sound like "less than" and it's totally unfair to say that in my opinion. Well, clearly if they are born being unable to have children, then their core gift isn't producing children and it's something else they are gifted with. So they are special and different. And will have other gifts, it's that straight forward. I have to agree with you on some level, I do think procreating is a big reason why we are on the earth but that goes for both sexes, not just women. We are the ones who carry the babies, which makes us fundamentally different from men, that and us being physically weaker for the most part, but we are not the only ones who can raise those children once they are born, that CAN be a joint effort in all regards. With regards to equality, I don't think its possible for women and men to be completely equal because of those fundamental differences but it doesn't make us the weaker sex in any way other than physically and since we don't have to go and wrestle dinosaurs or anything any more to survive theres no reason why we can't be equal in most things. Our society isn't driven by our ability to compete in competitive sport, which is the only way that is useful really, that or being in a fist fight and maybe some physical types of work (although I'm sure some women would argue that last point). I also don't think the human race is going to die off because women or men choose not to have babies, that's about personal choice, and is a part of living in civilised society. Some people, most of them probably, are going to want children.

Zonie63 -> RE: 10 hours of walking in NYC as a woman (11/5/2014 8:45:19 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: littleladybug quote: ORIGINAL: Greta75 I think contributing to extinction of the human race is not exactly a great purpose but that's just my view. Of course some people do think that's a good cause too. My brother has 5 kids....I have none. I figure he's more than covered my "lack of populating the earth".... Seriously, Greta, do you honestly believe that it's THAT black and white? Do you understand why people here might be taking what you are saying as a tad offensive? Use of words like "gift", "sole purpose" and "core purpose" tend to get people's hackles up. At least they do mine... Now, why would that be? I do not believe that everyone who is capable of having kids should have kids-- not even close to it. IMO, the world would be a FAR better place if people didn't have kids simply because they felt they should or because of any other external factor. Now, for someone to say, or even imply, that I am "turning my back on a gift" because I chose not to have kids is really and truly offensive. I've heard similar things myself, mainly from my own family..."settle down, get married, have kids"...that sort of thing. Ironically, it was my own experience of growing up in my own family that made me not very keen about starting one of my own. Although, I disagree with Greta that people refraining from having kids are leading to the extinction of the human race. I grew up hearing about "overpopulation" and a push towards zero population growth, so a lot of people refrained from having kids because they thought there were too many people already. Unchecked population growth and the ensuing consumption of resources and other environmental factors could threaten the extinction of the human race - but not because people aren't having enough babies. At this point, that's the least of our problems. If and when the world's population gets below 500 million, then it might be time to worry, but that won't happen in our lifetime. I don't know if human ability to reproduce is necessarily a gift or one's sole purpose. I'm not sure where that idea comes from, although it seems religious in origin. Every animal species has that ability, but most of them still go extinct eventually anyway, as humans will also go extinct someday.

SweetForDaddy -> RE: 10 hours of walking in NYC as a woman (11/5/2014 8:57:17 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: littleladybug quote: ORIGINAL: Charles6682 There are some good men who do care and want to help to make a positive differences in the world, for ALL Humans. I am one of those guys. I agree with you, though I would change "some good men" to "a lot of good men". I've known a lot of men in my life, personally and professionally, and I have to say that the vast majority of them would not do something like this. In fact, I would go so far as to say that, even on their worst day, they wouldn't even think that this was remotely appropriate. Personally, I believe that it ultimately has to do with education-- in terms of people having good role models in their life. This "culture of objectification" is only going to be stopped when people are taught respect from an early age by others that they respect. Mom, dad, brother, sister, best friend... whomever. I think the maker of the video said it was about 1% of men who acted like this. I think the figures for women who experience this is 80 - 90% (Not just the US), so that 1% is doing a lot of damage.

littleladybug -> RE: 10 hours of walking in NYC as a woman (11/5/2014 9:46:27 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SweetForDaddy I think the maker of the video said it was about 1% of men who acted like this. I think the figures for women who experience this is 80 - 90% (Not just the US), so that 1% is doing a lot of damage. Yes, they sure are. I don't think anyone here is disputing that. I made my comment in response to a man who had the stones to come on here and say, "hey, you know, I may be in a minority here, but I think this is wrong". It is my experience that he's actually in the vast majority on this. Hence my suggestion that the solution to this might very well come from a "grassroots" level. If my experience is not unique...which I don't think it is....start the guys young. There are enough "good men" out there to take the boys aside and say "you know, this is NOT cool...this is not right...etc". (And, I don't think that this is relegated to the "guys" doing the teaching either...) Once the "culture" is firmly ensconced, it's too late. Those guys on the video? They're not going to be swayed by it. Who should be swayed by it are, IMO, those people of influence in a young person's life. The sooner they learn, the more likely they will be to be able to convince their peers, who may not have had the same lessons. It's a ripple effect.

sissyhypnoslut -> RE: 10 hours of walking in NYC as a woman (11/5/2014 10:17:15 AM)
I sympathize with the feminist position on this issue, but also completely understand why a small percentage of men act this way. I'm a male who suffers from Avoidant Personality Disorder. I'm a pleaser. I'm terrified of being rejected. I lack social confidence around new people. I can't make eye contact with people unless they are talking directly to me. Despite being intelligent, athletic, musical, funny, kind, respectful, affectionate, supportive, and reasonable to look at, I've always struggled to meet women because most of them aren't attracted to timid men like me. The only women I've ever dated have been introduced to me by friends, and most of them didn't stick around long. I've never in my life made out with a girl I met at a party. I've never had the courage to buy a girl a drink at a bar, or grind on the dance floor. I have no casual hookup stories like the ones my male friends share when we hang out. I feel like I've missed out on so much of life because of my anxiety issues, and I feel emasculated by the way society treats men like me. Years of observation have led me to the generalized conclusion that women find nothing more attractive than confidence, and many women are willing to date a total asshole just because he is confident. They will stay with a boyfriend who beats them, and refuse to press charges. They will giggle as high school bullies pick on the awkward males. My first girlfriend broke up with me because I could never get angry with her, and the first thing she did when we broke up was give a guy (who was a total asshole) a handjob. Our society rewards men for being socially/sexually aggressive and punishes men like me who are socially/sexually passive. It makes perfect sense to me that men like the stalkers in this video exist, because they are just the hyper-aggressive outliers who take it too far and become genuinely creepy. So to all the women out there who have no qualms about aggressively walking up to a man they find attractive and making the first move, I salute you, because you are part of the solution.

GoddessManko -> RE: 10 hours of walking in NYC as a woman (11/5/2014 10:39:00 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: sissyhypnoslut I sympathize with the feminist position on this issue, but also completely understand why a small percentage of men act this way. I'm a male who suffers from Avoidant Personality Disorder. I'm a pleaser. I'm terrified of being rejected. I lack social confidence around new people. I can't make eye contact with people unless they are talking directly to me. Despite being intelligent, athletic, musical, funny, kind, respectful, affectionate, supportive, and reasonable to look at, I've always struggled to meet women because most of them aren't attracted to timid men like me. The only women I've ever dated have been introduced to me by friends, and most of them didn't stick around long. I've never in my life made out with a girl I met at a party. I've never had the courage to buy a girl a drink at a bar, or grind on the dance floor. I have no casual hookup stories like the ones my male friends share when we hang out. I feel like I've missed out on so much of life because of my anxiety issues, and I feel emasculated by the way society treats men like me. Years of observation have led me to the generalized conclusion that women find nothing more attractive than confidence, and many women are willing to date a total asshole just because he is confident. They will stay with a boyfriend who beats them, and refuse to press charges. They will giggle as high school bullies pick on the awkward males. My first girlfriend broke up with me because I could never get angry with her, and the first thing she did when we broke up was give a guy (who was a total asshole) a handjob. Our society rewards men for being socially/sexually aggressive and punishes men like me who are socially/sexually passive. It makes perfect sense to me that men like the stalkers in this video exist, because they are just the hyper-aggressive outliers who take it too far and become genuinely creepy. So to all the women out there who have no qualms about aggressively walking up to a man they find attractive and making the first move, I salute you, because you are part of the solution. Hey there! I just had a bit of an exchange on the Bondage Gear and Apparel thread. Hopefully I get to take a gabber at your shoes when they arrive but no pressure. Hope they're like gloves. I have to say I am really shocked at your perceptions of the gender dynamic. I feel like to some degree, yes. Society currently moreso than ever projects the "asshole" as being funny. We see it with the Hollywood nerds who don't act like the "nerds" of the 80's, but like complete and total assholes themselves. The asshole may possibly be glorified. It's fine for comedy, but keeping these things in perspective is important and let's face it, some people can't. They cannot tell when an ism is just that, an ism and holds no real legitimacy. There was a time when intelligence was glorified. But who typically are the popular girls? The mean girls. Who typically are the mean girls/dumb girls? The pretty girls. And so the projection begins and this is what our brains are being fed. Same for the male gender. And this is happening systematically without missing a beat. I told my sub jokingly "Goodbye the days of Plato, Pythagoras and Diogenes the cynic. Hello he days of Snookie and Honey Boo Boo!" How. en masse, are women projected? How are men projected? If you look under gigs on craigslist for South Florida, 99% of those job openings include a young, lovely girl, probably with hidden potential, sucking someone's dick. Also since the recession the probability of this occurrence has probably multiplied. We have lowered the bar, for our kids and ourselves. You make me think this is not so much a "male problem" but a societal issue. Most men I have dealt with didn't even realize how abhorrent it was that they wanted romantic relations with me but didn't want to deal with me in a professional setting. This is why I really think there has to be dialogue at some point, en masse, between genders and when Kim Kardarshian (no offense to her) isn't glorified for a sex tape. But rather Aung San Suu Kyi is and others like her for their strength and sacrifice. It's how men perceive women, but also the ways they are projected and perceived overall.

littleladybug -> RE: 10 hours of walking in NYC as a woman (11/5/2014 10:53:57 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SweetForDaddy With regards to equality, I don't think its possible for women and men to be completely equal because of those fundamental differences but it doesn't make us the weaker sex in any way other than physically and since we don't have to go and wrestle dinosaurs or anything any more to survive theres no reason why we can't be equal in most things. Our society isn't driven by our ability to compete in competitive sport, which is the only way that is useful really, that or being in a fist fight and maybe some physical types of work (although I'm sure some women would argue that last point). I will never be "equal" to a man because of the simple fact that I don't have a penis-- and, trust me, I thank God for that particular gift quite regularly. Feminism, as I see it, is not about "equality" in that sense, and never was intended to be so. It's about choice. If you have the ability and drive, there's no reason why you should be held back in what you choose to do, simply because you lack a Y chromosome. When I think about "feminism", I think about two of the arguably most influential women in recent US history-- Sandra Day O'Connor and Ruth Bader Ginsburg. These are women who were obviously VERY intelligent and VERY driven...and had trouble "breaking into" their chosen field simply due to their gender. In fact, Justice O'Connor was rejected by about 40 prospective employers when she was right out of school, and Justice Ginsburg was turned down for what some believe to be the "ultimate job"-- simply because of their gender. Of course, back in the 50's and 60's, this was an accepted practice. But, IMO, this is what feminism is about, in its purest form. Calling people on saying, "yup, you are everything we want and MORE...but unfortunately, you have a vagina...so sorry". It's not about "equality", it's about choice. And, certainly, it's not about hatred of those with a Y chromosome...

SweetForDaddy -> RE: 10 hours of walking in NYC as a woman (11/5/2014 11:08:31 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: littleladybug quote: ORIGINAL: SweetForDaddy With regards to equality, I don't think its possible for women and men to be completely equal because of those fundamental differences but it doesn't make us the weaker sex in any way other than physically and since we don't have to go and wrestle dinosaurs or anything any more to survive theres no reason why we can't be equal in most things. Our society isn't driven by our ability to compete in competitive sport, which is the only way that is useful really, that or being in a fist fight and maybe some physical types of work (although I'm sure some women would argue that last point). I will never be "equal" to a man because of the simple fact that I don't have a penis-- and, trust me, I thank God for that particular gift quite regularly. Feminism, as I see it, is not about "equality" in that sense, and never was intended to be so. It's about choice. If you have the ability and drive, there's no reason why you should be held back in what you choose to do, simply because you lack a Y chromosome. When I think about "feminism", I think about two of the arguably most influential women in recent US history-- Sandra Day O'Connor and Ruth Bader Ginsburg. These are women who were obviously VERY intelligent and VERY driven...and had trouble "breaking into" their chosen field simply due to their gender. In fact, Justice O'Connor was rejected by about 40 prospective employers when she was right out of school, and Justice Ginsburg was turned down for what some believe to be the "ultimate job"-- simply because of their gender. Of course, back in the 50's and 60's, this was an accepted practice. But, IMO, this is what feminism is about, in its purest form. Calling people on saying, "yup, you are everything we want and MORE...but unfortunately, you have a vagina...so sorry". It's not about "equality", it's about choice. And, certainly, it's not about hatred of those with a Y chromosome... I agree with you completely.

sissyhypnoslut -> RE: 10 hours of walking in NYC as a woman (11/5/2014 11:22:24 AM)
@GoddessManko: I have to hold off on ordering the shoes for now, but when I do I'll snap some pics for you :) As for the societal problems, I don't think things are necessarily hopeless. If history has taught us anything, it's that the traditional gender roles are subject to change. The world right now is a less violent place than at any other time in history. We have better tools to communicate and innovate than ever before, and huge global challenges that require all of humanity to band together for our race to survive. The baby boomers will eventually die out, and the balance of power will continue to shift to younger generations that are capable of more progressive thinking. It would not surprise me if the world is a much less racist, sexist place 100 years from now, provided we haven't ruined our planet or blown ourselves up fighting over oil by then. The reason things seem so bad is because marketers have gotten insanely good at their jobs over the past few decades, and in the developed world we live our lives through the media. The world according to Jersey Shore is not the same as the world that most of us experience on a daily basis, and yet it alters our opinions of the people around us simply because it is labeled as reality.

littleladybug -> RE: 10 hours of walking in NYC as a woman (11/5/2014 11:32:41 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: sissyhypnoslut We have better tools to communicate and innovate than ever before, and huge global challenges that require all of humanity to band together for our race to survive. The baby boomers will eventually die out, and the balance of power will continue to shift to younger generations that are capable of more progressive thinking. It would not surprise me if the world is a much less racist, sexist place 100 years from now, provided we haven't ruined our planet or blown ourselves up fighting over oil by then. I don't know if it's just me...but I get the impression from reading some of the responses in this thread that it's not the "baby boomers" that have cornered the market on being asinine boors. I am thinking that if the education doesn't change, it won't matter if the "old white man" is dead. If what we see in this video, and heard from some of the posters here is "progressive thinking"...I hold out no hope.

sissyhypnoslut -> RE: 10 hours of walking in NYC as a woman (11/5/2014 11:47:49 AM)
It's not that baby boomers are directly causing the conflict, it's that they hold the majority of the wealth and power in our society and are resistant to change. Just like how there is little incentive for the auto industry to completely switch from oil to electricity because of all the investment and infrastructure tied to the oil industry, there is little incentive for our society to shift away from the values of our society's current authority figures.

littleladybug -> RE: 10 hours of walking in NYC as a woman (11/5/2014 12:00:09 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: sissyhypnoslut It's not that baby boomers are directly causing the conflict, it's that they hold the majority of the wealth and power in our society and are resistant to change. Just like how there is little incentive for the auto industry to completely switch from oil to electricity because of all the investment and infrastructure tied to the oil industry, there is little incentive for our society to shift away from the values of our society's current authority figures. And, I will say that the majority of "old white men" that I know would NEVER, EVER think to engage in this behavior. They may have their issues....but this is not one of them. Do you really think that the younger generation "gets it"? Or, would "get it" without the baby boomers involved?

sissyhypnoslut -> RE: 10 hours of walking in NYC as a woman (11/5/2014 12:15:38 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: littleladybug And, I will say that the majority of "old white men" that I know would NEVER, EVER think to engage in this behavior. First of all, when I say baby boomers, I include women and other races in that too. Old people of all types are the most racist, sexist people I know. My parents have said things that make me ashamed to be their child, and they don't see anything wrong with their views because they are common amongst their peers. Second of all, there is no need to engage in such unseemly behavior yourself when you own the marketing firms and media corporations that make money by perpetuating these images in society. The baby boomers who aren't directly involved in this still play a part because their retirement savings is tied to the success of the economy, so they can easily be manipulated into aligning with the boomers actually in control.

littleladybug -> RE: 10 hours of walking in NYC as a woman (11/5/2014 12:19:17 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: sissyhypnoslut First of all, when I say baby boomers, I include women and other races in that too. Old people of all types are the most racist, sexist people I know. My parents have said things that make me ashamed to be their child, and they don't see anything wrong with their views because they are common amongst their peers. Second of all, there is no need to engage in such unseemly behavior yourself when you own the marketing firms and media corporations that make money by perpetuating these images in society. The baby boomers who aren't directly involved in this still play a part because their retirement savings is tied to the success of the economy, so they can easily be manipulated into aligning with the boomers actually in control. shrug Obviously we come from very different standpoints on this. Guess you can set your clock for about 20 years from now, when the boomers start dying off in droves... We'll see then if the disgusting actions of people who are now in their teens or 20's disappear...

sissyhypnoslut -> RE: 10 hours of walking in NYC as a woman (11/5/2014 12:36:04 PM)
I'm not trying to make this all about the boomers. It was just one point that I brought up in my reasoning of why the world is going to be a very different place 100 years from now. By then, there will probably be new generations talking about how much of a dinosaur I was for how I used to think way back in 2014. There will always be a small percentage of disgusting and vile people in the world, but empirical evidence clearly shows that the world has slowly become a better place as we move from decade to decade, century to century. It's hard to see that truth when the news is filled with rapes, murders, and terrorist attacks, but it IS the truth, and I invite anybody who thinks otherwise to do some research on the subject. News is filtered to grab attention and sell advertising.

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