RE: Yep, It's Too Much to Ask a Woman to be Your Fetish/Kink Delivery System

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RE: Yep, It's Too Much to Ask a Woman to be Your Fetish... - 11/19/2014 7:10:21 AM

sexyred1

Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
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Deranged Unit?

You let sleeping dogs lie or kick them, if that's your thing.

I don't assume that "everyone" means anything.

I am all for self expression and far from PC.

I guess it's like my wise Mom always says when someone annoys me.

She says, take it from who it comes, meaning why get upset if you don't respect that person.

And for the record I love animals and never ONCE have I wanted to kick one once in my life.

(in reply to ExiledTyrant)

Post #: 81

RE: Yep, It's Too Much to Ask a Woman to be Your Fetish... - 11/19/2014 7:13:55 AM

Greta75

Posts: 9968
Joined: 2/6/2011
Status: offline

quote:

even someone who says abusing animals is wrong has most likely wanted to kick a dog in their life.

I swear I always say I hate dogs, but I never even dreamt of kicking one ever! I strongly believe in protecting the weaker and defenseless people and animals. That's why I also believe men should protect women, as women would protect their sons and little brothers.
I just hate dogs because they would take abuse. They are just such bad examples, although to others, it's called undying loyalty.

< Message edited by Greta75 -- 11/19/2014 7:14:50 AM >

(in reply to ExiledTyrant)

Post #: 82

RE: Yep, It's Too Much to Ask a Woman to be Your Fetish... - 11/19/2014 7:17:32 AM

sexyred1

Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline

WTF?

You hate dogs because they take abuse?

Perhaps we should teach boxing skills or martial arts.

(in reply to Greta75)

Post #: 83

RE: Yep, It's Too Much to Ask a Woman to be Your Fetish... - 11/19/2014 7:27:33 AM

GotSteel

Posts: 5871
Joined: 2/19/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: FieryOpal
You give me far too much credit. I had originally considered setting up this thread as a bona fide poll. But thanks for the thought.

I apologize, I thought I was picking up a certain tone here:

quote:

ORIGINAL: FieryOpal
...but in the name of random stupidity...

quote:

ORIGINAL: FieryOpal
How cheap do these guys think we are?

quote:

ORIGINAL: FieryOpal
I don't know what kind of play parties you've been to, but I can't see anybody giving some guy with a spitting fetish who essentially just walked up off the street the time of day.

So I mentioned the white board at The Society (their fetlife group: https://fetlife.com/groups/2859) The scene in the OP frankly sounds pretty mild, last time I was down there a shooting darts at someone out of a blowgun scene was negotiated via the white board.

quote:

ORIGINAL: FieryOpal
Why someone would think that he would have better success on line soliciting for favors is beyond me, sub-bottom or Dom-top, makes no difference.

I don't think he would, I think he'd have a better shot heading over to fetlife and learning about his local events there. I'd expect he's new/not that out yet (though I still don't know where the thread which started all this is). The advise go to Fet, narrow he's asking to women looking to play, it's not so much that his asking to much but that THIS IS THE WRONG CROWD.

< Message edited by GotSteel -- 11/19/2014 7:28:54 AM >

(in reply to FieryOpal)

Post #: 84

RE: Yep, It's Too Much to Ask a Woman to be Your Fetish... - 11/19/2014 7:34:35 AM

Greta75

Posts: 9968
Joined: 2/6/2011
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1

WTF?

You hate dogs because they take abuse?

Perhaps we should teach boxing skills or martial arts.

Or teach them to be a cat. Yea, I grew up dogs, my parents love dogs and keep loads of them. They are pathetic to me, because I'm not the one feeding them or taking care of them, but they won't leave me alone. And my parents and my grandparents are old school with dogs, as their training involve alot of physical abuse. And those dogs still stupidly remain loyal to them.

My family always hated cats, because they say cats are disloyal. But cats are more like me. If someone beats me, I am running away, like a cat, and not stay to be abused like a dog.

Psychologically, I remembered watching my grandpa beat the crap out of a cat, and tying it to a string to prevent it from running away. I was maybe 3 or 4 yr old. So I was quite helpless. But I remembered the cat's spirit, it won't break, it remained defiant. And eventually, it plotted its escape. I cheered when it escape, although my grandpa was raging mad.

But my parents beat the dogs like they beat me as a child. I always remembered that cat, and told myself, I am gonna be like the cat, I will run away when I finally could. And I did. The dogs were not good role models for me, as the more they were beaten, they more obedient they became.

< Message edited by Greta75 -- 11/19/2014 7:42:34 AM >

(in reply to sexyred1)

Post #: 85

RE: Yep, It's Too Much to Ask a Woman to be Your Fetish... - 11/19/2014 7:34:55 AM

FieryOpal

Posts: 2821
Joined: 12/8/2013
From: Maryland
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: GotSteel

quote:

ORIGINAL: FieryOpal

Here I will admit that I was getting a dig in on you males, esp. the ones who go around touting that men and women are all the same and our only basic differences are anatomical. We also think and feel differently, our thinking and emotive processes aren't the same or identical.

So to a certain extent that's true, however much of the differences come from social indoctrination. Relevant to this discussion is our cultures female sexually repression. As said repression has diminished in every post sexual revolution generation those differences have also diminished.

Oh, I also believe those lying-profile stats reflect the majority of stag (or cheating) men's basic nature to say whatever line of b.s., or to give whatever impression they can, even make whatever promises they sense are necessary to get what they want from a woman.
Therefore, it behooves women to put men in the position of wanting more than to satisfy their animal lusts, wanting a woman for more than her 3 holes, or to serve as a pillow (bosom) to lay their heads on for womanly comforts.
It's our version of quid pro quo, to hold out for relationship and an enduring commitment, to pairbond with a mate, and if that means we need to take the man for a test drive, then so be it.

Why are so many hook-ups NSA? If the sex was good, then why wouldn't the man return for more? Because nobody wants to be treated like they're only good for a booty call. I'll bet that if you scratched the surface, you'd find that most women who engage in an NSA hook-up deeply regret doing so, if they feel they were just being used by a man for sex.

As for social/religious/cultural indoctrination, we are products of our particular generation. However, I can't agree with your position. I know myself, and I wasn't indoctrinated into monogamy or wanting a serious, committed and exclusive relationship by my generational upbringing. In fact, the counter-culture messages that were given to my generation were exactly the opposite, and only changed when deadly STDs came upon the horizon. Back in the '70s & part of the '80s, none of us young folks paid this any mind.

_____________________________

Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage. - Lao Tzu
There is no remedy for love but to love more. - Thoreau

(in reply to GotSteel)

Post #: 86

RE: Yep, It's Too Much to Ask a Woman to be Your Fetish... - 11/19/2014 7:47:58 AM

Greta75

Posts: 9968
Joined: 2/6/2011
Status: offline

quote:

you'd find that most women who engage in an NSA hook-up deeply regret doing so, if they feel they were just being used by a man for sex.

I honestly never feel regretful about any NSA, as it's all well thought of, calculated and according to my demands and control. Infact, I had men accuse me of using them for sex. As I am very unemotional about casual sex.

I think it's very important for all woman to engage in NSA only if they can truly enjoy sex like they enjoy playing tennis. So you know, you will not feel used when you go play tennis, because you are genuinely enjoying it. Same with sex.

(in reply to FieryOpal)

Post #: 87

RE: Yep, It's Too Much to Ask a Woman to be Your Fetish... - 11/19/2014 8:05:15 AM

Musicmystery

Posts: 30259
Joined: 3/14/2005
Status: offline

~FR~

I have found that many women say "most women this or that or the other thing" when the truth is "here's what I feel and I merely believe I speak for all/most women."

Most of what I've heard regarding "most women...." I've found to be false.

(in reply to Greta75)

Post #: 88

RE: Yep, It's Too Much to Ask a Woman to be Your Fetish... - 11/19/2014 8:17:18 AM

Greta75

Posts: 9968
Joined: 2/6/2011
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Musicmystery
Most of what I've heard regarding "most women...." I've found to be false.

Fiery Opal is like half Asian although grew up in America, I don't know how much Asian influence she still has but, it would generally be true for women around here, as they always feel horrible after having casual sex, even sex with their boyfriend, especially if the guy didn't marry them after, they always feel used. It's also seem to be drilled into us that it's not acceptable to love sex for sex. I really love sex for sex. I knew this when I fucked a guy I couldn't be bothered to have anything to do with outside of the bedroom, but I like him in the bedroom so much. I was just thinking, I want this dude just for sex, but I don't want anything else to do with him. I really felt that way, genuinely, and I knew, sex for me, is just sex.

But the BIG problem with them is, when they have sex with a man, even if it's casual, they assume, men are suppose to fall inlove with them, because they allowed the man to have sex with them, and they do their best to please the man in bed, so it is often hurting why the man still don't want a serious relationship with them. It's quite common here to hear these things.

But I just think they are going about casual sex the wrong way. I have casual sex, because I simply need to find men to pleasure me. I am not pleasuring them, they are pleasuring me. What's there to regret about that. But if one have sex hoping that the man will find something special in them after the sex, that woman is going about casual sex the wrong way, with the wrong motivations and should just hold back sex until marriage or a long term relationship. As she will just keep getting hurt and her esteem burnt.

< Message edited by Greta75 -- 11/19/2014 8:18:18 AM >

(in reply to Musicmystery)

Post #: 89

RE: Yep, It's Too Much to Ask a Woman to be Your Fetish... - 11/19/2014 8:18:35 AM

FieryOpal

Posts: 2821
Joined: 12/8/2013
From: Maryland
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Greta75

quote:

ORIGINAL: FieryOpal

you'd find that most women who engage in an NSA hook-up deeply regret doing so, if they feel they were just being used by a man for sex.

I honestly never feel regretful about any NSA, as it's all well thought of, calculated and according to my demands and control. Infact, I had men accuse me of using them for sex. As I am very unemotional about casual sex.

I think it's very important for all woman to engage in NSA only if they can truly enjoy sex like they enjoy playing tennis. So you know, you will not feel used when you go play tennis, because you are genuinely enjoying it. Same with sex.

Yes, and it has to do with feeling used, whoever ends up feeling that way. There are plenty of men who feel used by women also, for whatever purpose whether it's related to sex or not.
I get the feeling that men feel used when they date a woman who doesn't put out. That's why I never go out on a second date with a man if I can tell nothing will come of it. I'll know that very first date whether I'm attracted to a man.

Given that everything is a learning experience, there's no good in regretting our actions. If we know we've made a mistake, then we should learn from it. If we don't see it as having been a mistake, then it's a moot point.

I also think that you are looking for an elusive combination of qualities, and so your quest goes on. I'm not saying that there's anything wrong with that either. You need a very highly sexed man, and you wouldn't be happy without one who can make you come multiple times over a period of hours, who doesn't want to eat pussy...and who has a take-charge personality which you can't dominate. Not so easy to find, is it?

My combination of elusive qualities isn't identical to yours (other than having a strong libido), and they don't require bedroom gymnastics--at least not in marathon proportions.

Of course, I have to screen him sexually, but the dude ordinarily fails my other requirements before he ever gets far enough along. I'm not saying that you choose quantity over quality, because I believe you would prefer quality. Also, I think you know that enjoying sex has nothing to do with having a variety of sexual partners. The benefit to variety in some cases is to help you narrow down what it is that is truly meaningful and significant that you can't do without and what you can forego when you do find the right partner.

_____________________________

Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage. - Lao Tzu
There is no remedy for love but to love more. - Thoreau

(in reply to Greta75)

Post #: 90

RE: Yep, It's Too Much to Ask a Woman to be Your Fetish... - 11/19/2014 8:32:23 AM

sexyred1

Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Greta75

quote:

ORIGINAL: Musicmystery
Most of what I've heard regarding "most women...." I've found to be false.

Fiery Opal is like half Asian although grew up in America, I don't know how much Asian influence she still has but, it would generally be true for women around here, as they always feel horrible after having casual sex, even sex with their boyfriend, especially if the guy didn't marry them after, they always feel used. It's also seem to be drilled into us that it's not acceptable to love sex for sex. I really love sex for sex. I knew this when I fucked a guy I couldn't be bothered to have anything to do with outside of the bedroom, but I like him in the bedroom so much. I was just thinking, I want this dude just for sex, but I don't want anything else to do with him. I really felt that way, genuinely, and I knew, sex for me, is just sex.

But the BIG problem with them is, when they have sex with a man, even if it's casual, they assume, men are suppose to fall inlove with them, because they allowed the man to have sex with them, and they do their best to please the man in bed, so it is often hurting why the man still don't want a serious relationship with them. It's quite common here to hear these things.

But I just think they are going about casual sex the wrong way. I have casual sex, because I simply need to find men to pleasure me. I am not pleasuring them, they are pleasuring me. What's there to regret about that. But if one have sex hoping that the man will find something special in them after the sex, that woman is going about casual sex the wrong way, with the wrong motivations and should just hold back sex until marriage or a long term relationship. As she will just keep getting hurt and her esteem burnt.

Honestly, Greta, if there is anyone here who should not be speaking for all women, it would be you.

At first I thought it was a cultural difference, but I think your past has colored your present as black or white, with no shades of grey to consider.

(in reply to Greta75)

Post #: 91

RE: Yep, It's Too Much to Ask a Woman to be Your Fetish... - 11/19/2014 8:33:34 AM

FieryOpal

Posts: 2821
Joined: 12/8/2013
From: Maryland
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Musicmystery
~FR~
I have found that many women say "most women this or that or the other thing" when the truth is "here's what I feel and I merely believe I speak for all/most women."

Most of what I've heard regarding "most women...." I've found to be false.

Geesh, did you even read the entire sentence? I'll repeat the end of it for your benefit:

quote:

ORIGINAL: FieryOpal

...if they feel they were just being used by a man for sex.

_____________________________

Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage. - Lao Tzu
There is no remedy for love but to love more. - Thoreau

(in reply to Musicmystery)

Post #: 92

RE: Yep, It's Too Much to Ask a Woman to be Your Fetish... - 11/19/2014 8:35:15 AM

Greta75

Posts: 9968
Joined: 2/6/2011
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: FieryOpal
You need a very highly sexed man, and you wouldn't be happy without one who can make you come multiple times over a period of hours, who doesn't want to eat pussy...and who has a take-charge personality which you can't dominate.

That describes my x-dom PERFECTLY. *sob* *sob*, perfect sexual compatibility, but horrible out of bedroom compatibility. Yea, he gotta have split personality too and shut off his dom-mode out of the bedroom.

(in reply to FieryOpal)

Post #: 93

RE: Yep, It's Too Much to Ask a Woman to be Your Fetish... - 11/19/2014 8:37:05 AM

Greta75

Posts: 9968
Joined: 2/6/2011
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1
At first I thought it was a cultural difference, but I think your past has colored your present as black or white, with no shades of grey to consider.

Where is the shade of grey? How can one feel used in casual sex, when casual sex is purely about using each other's bodies? It's the whole purpose of casual sex. It's not pretending to be about feelings or romance. People only feel used if they go in with hopes they could change the situation from casual to non-casual.

< Message edited by Greta75 -- 11/19/2014 8:38:42 AM >

(in reply to sexyred1)

Post #: 94

RE: Yep, It's Too Much to Ask a Woman to be Your Fetish... - 11/19/2014 8:49:22 AM

DerangedUnit

Posts: 660
Joined: 2/23/2007
Status: offline

I hate first dates and rarely if ever have casual sex. I hate dates because they always end in me trying to find a bolt cutter(or equivalent) a few days later... I think I'm too easy going but every person I meet for coffee drags me off and decides to keep me... curiosity usually keeps me for a day or two, but I bolt once the marriage proposals start coming. A big day for me is coming up next week, in a couple of days it will officially be the longest I've ever spent with someone without a break. I feel my fear of commitment van..... never mind it's still there

If I try to have casual sex I just spend the whole time thinking "why am I not getting paid for this?"... of course every customer service job I've had I also think "why am I doing this, it's like having sex but for less money" makes you look at office politics in a whole new light.

But sex for me has always been a bartering tool, it's something I protect and don't use lightly... and my weakness. Being able to make me cum is like me handing over the reins(or pony tail) it's more symbolic than a collar, because any dufus can bolt something around your neck but my body is something I have control of. I know it inside and out, and I know how to keep other people from getting what they want... sex is a war, you can negotiate the terms of your surrender or fight a long and bloody battle for sovereignty... or turn around and walk away slowly.

< Message edited by DerangedUnit -- 11/19/2014 8:55:24 AM >

(in reply to FieryOpal)

Post #: 95

RE: Yep, It's Too Much to Ask a Woman to be Your Fetish... - 11/19/2014 8:52:09 AM

Greta75

Posts: 9968
Joined: 2/6/2011
Status: offline

quote:

I think you know that enjoying sex has nothing to do with having a variety of sexual partners. The benefit to variety in some cases is to help you narrow down what it is that is truly meaningful and significant that you can't do without and what you can forego when you do find the right partner.

Yes, if one man can satisfy everything, sure, one partner is fine. Talking about all this, after all my "hatespeech" about french guys, I got approach by a french dom who is relocating to Singapore, tells me I am his perfect woman, and he fits everything I say is my ideal man, from physical to sexual compatibility and am meeting up with him in Dec. This should be interesting.

(in reply to Greta75)

Post #: 96

RE: Yep, It's Too Much to Ask a Woman to be Your Fetish... - 11/19/2014 8:57:26 AM

DerangedUnit

Posts: 660
Joined: 2/23/2007
Status: offline

That's your problem you meet with the ones who say they are perfect :P it's only downhill from there

Grrr I keep noticing after the fact that autocorrect is being a bitch

< Message edited by DerangedUnit -- 11/19/2014 9:01:46 AM >

(in reply to Greta75)

Post #: 97

RE: Yep, It's Too Much to Ask a Woman to be Your Fetish... - 11/19/2014 8:59:40 AM

Greta75

Posts: 9968
Joined: 2/6/2011
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DerangedUnit
I hate first dates and rarely if ever have casual sex. I hate dates because they always end in me trying to find a bolt cutter(or equivalent) a few days later...

The strange thing is, I never sleep with a man on first date or second date. When men date me, they usually never end up getting into my pants. Because I don't know, I like raw honesty. If you want sex, just come out and say you want sex, don't pretend to woo me like you really care about other things, if you do, then prove it.

Like I am more likely to sleep with a man if he simply says to me, "I just want to get into your pants, tell me what I must do to get there and I will do it." That guy has a 100% chance of getting laid with me, of course he must do what I tell him to get there too.

(in reply to DerangedUnit)

Post #: 98

RE: Yep, It's Too Much to Ask a Woman to be Your Fetish... - 11/19/2014 9:08:53 AM

DerangedUnit

Posts: 660
Joined: 2/23/2007
Status: offline

I used to think I liked honesty but always landed in places I didn't like.... then I realized it doesn't matter as long as I'm lied to for my benefit... besides I have this curse where I have no filter and always just blurt out the truth randomly so I need a liar around to do my dirty work. I am all about results, don't care how you got there," I'm in charge of my morals you yours" sort of thinking... though I cant stand people who change personality based on company.... I cant be with a guy who is vanilla but dom in the bedroom. They have to keep up whatever it is they are selling

(in reply to Greta75)

Post #: 99

RE: Yep, It's Too Much to Ask a Woman to be Your Fetish... - 11/19/2014 9:13:34 AM

sexyred1

Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Greta75

quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1
At first I thought it was a cultural difference, but I think your past has colored your present as black or white, with no shades of grey to consider.

Where is the shade of grey? How can one feel used in casual sex, when casual sex is purely about using each other's bodies? It's the whole purpose of casual sex. It's not pretending to be about feelings or romance. People only feel used if they go in with hopes they could change the situation from casual to non-casual.

I am sorry you cannot understand anything I say.

It's cool though.

(in reply to Greta75)

Post #: 100

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