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RE: Yep, It's Too Much to Ask a Woman to be Your Fetish... - 11/19/2014 9:20:23 AM   
Greta75


Posts: 9968
Joined: 2/6/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DerangedUnit
I cant be with a guy who is vanilla but dom in the bedroom. They have to keep up whatever it is they are selling

What's the difference between a vanilla guy and a dominant guy outside of a bedroom, outside of kink?

(in reply to DerangedUnit)
Profile   Post #: 101
RE: Yep, It's Too Much to Ask a Woman to be Your Fetish... - 11/19/2014 9:41:44 AM   
DerangedUnit


Posts: 660
Joined: 2/23/2007
Status: offline 		Dominant to me isn't a kink it's a personality trait. The guys I go for don't put on leather and swing a whip to get respect. They get respect by being admirable. With our dirty jokes in the sidelines.... for example, my owner will drag me to his work and chain me in a shipping crate, if people ask he tells them he's just keeping his stuff out of the sun. Not vanilla, but doesn't hide it. My parents were politicians and horrible people, I prefer to do the opposite and flaunt the bad and leave all the good for those I love.

(in reply to Greta75)
Profile   Post #: 102
RE: Yep, It's Too Much to Ask a Woman to be Your Fetish... - 11/19/2014 9:44:59 AM   
ExiledTyrant


Posts: 4547
Joined: 12/9/2013
From: Exiled
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DerangedUnit

Dominant to me isn't a kink it's a personality trait. The guys I go for don't put on leather and swing a whip to get respect. They get respect by being admirable. With our dirty jokes in the sidelines.... for example, my owner will drag me to his work and chain me in a shipping crate, if people ask he tells them he's just keeping his stuff out of the sun. Not vanilla, but doesn't hide it. My parents were politicians and horrible people, I prefer to do the opposite and flaunt the bad and leave all the good for those I love.


I have no idea why kink could end up in the news in a negative light.

_____________________________

Gnothi Seauton
To lead, first follow: Aurelius, Epictetus, Descartes, Sun Tzu, to name a few.

Semper fidelis (which sometimes feels like a burden)

(in reply to DerangedUnit)
Profile   Post #: 103
RE: Yep, It's Too Much to Ask a Woman to be Your Fetish... - 11/19/2014 9:50:55 AM   
DerangedUnit


Posts: 660
Joined: 2/23/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ExiledTyrant


quote:

ORIGINAL: DerangedUnit

Dominant to me isn't a kink it's a personality trait. The guys I go for don't put on leather and swing a whip to get respect. They get respect by being admirable. With our dirty jokes in the sidelines.... for example, my owner will drag me to his work and chain me in a shipping crate, if people ask he tells them he's just keeping his stuff out of the sun. Not vanilla, but doesn't hide it. My parents were politicians and horrible people, I prefer to do the opposite and flaunt the bad and leave all the good for those I love.


I have no idea why kink could end up in the news in a negative light.



It's natural for humans to want to view everything as negative, it lets them feel like they have some superiority... theres nothing wrong with letting people feel important. Humans are insecure enough as it is, let them win what battles they imagine.

(in reply to ExiledTyrant)
Profile   Post #: 104
RE: Yep, It's Too Much to Ask a Woman to be Your Fetish... - 11/19/2014 9:53:18 AM   
ExiledTyrant


Posts: 4547
Joined: 12/9/2013
From: Exiled
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DerangedUnit


quote:

ORIGINAL: ExiledTyrant


quote:

ORIGINAL: DerangedUnit

Dominant to me isn't a kink it's a personality trait. The guys I go for don't put on leather and swing a whip to get respect. They get respect by being admirable. With our dirty jokes in the sidelines.... for example, my owner will drag me to his work and chain me in a shipping crate, if people ask he tells them he's just keeping his stuff out of the sun. Not vanilla, but doesn't hide it. My parents were politicians and horrible people, I prefer to do the opposite and flaunt the bad and leave all the good for those I love.


I have no idea why kink could end up in the news in a negative light.



It's natural for humans to want to view everything as negative, it lets them feel like they have some superiority... theres nothing wrong with letting people feel important. Humans are insecure enough as it is, let them win what battles they imagine.


Shit... let me try that again...

/sarcasm on: I have no idea why kink could end up in the news in a negative light.

_____________________________

Gnothi Seauton
To lead, first follow: Aurelius, Epictetus, Descartes, Sun Tzu, to name a few.

Semper fidelis (which sometimes feels like a burden)

(in reply to DerangedUnit)
Profile   Post #: 105
RE: Yep, It's Too Much to Ask a Woman to be Your Fetish... - 11/19/2014 9:58:05 AM   
DerangedUnit


Posts: 660
Joined: 2/23/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ExiledTyrant


quote:

ORIGINAL: DerangedUnit


quote:

ORIGINAL: ExiledTyrant


quote:

ORIGINAL: DerangedUnit

Dominant to me isn't a kink it's a personality trait. The guys I go for don't put on leather and swing a whip to get respect. They get respect by being admirable. With our dirty jokes in the sidelines.... for example, my owner will drag me to his work and chain me in a shipping crate, if people ask he tells them he's just keeping his stuff out of the sun. Not vanilla, but doesn't hide it. My parents were politicians and horrible people, I prefer to do the opposite and flaunt the bad and leave all the good for those I love.


I have no idea why kink could end up in the news in a negative light.



It's natural for humans to want to view everything as negative, it lets them feel like they have some superiority... theres nothing wrong with letting people feel important. Humans are insecure enough as it is, let them win what battles they imagine.


Shit... let me try that again...

/sarcasm on: I have no idea why kink could end up in the news in a negative light.


Precisely

(in reply to ExiledTyrant)
Profile   Post #: 106
RE: Yep, It's Too Much to Ask a Woman to be Your Fetish... - 11/19/2014 11:33:48 AM   
RockaRolla


Posts: 1153
Joined: 1/20/2014
From: South Florida
Status: offline 		FR

My boyfriend enjoys going down on women. And as much as I WANT to enjoy it, I just...can't.
I don't get it. When I was with my ex girlfriend she was great with it. And the guys I've been with don't do anything different or wrong. I just get too tense and everything feels different as soon as he puts his face between my legs.

Maybe I'm just broken down there?

But this thread confirms that there ARE plenty of women out there who don't enjoy it.

(in reply to DerangedUnit)
Profile   Post #: 107
RE: Yep, It's Too Much to Ask a Woman to be Your Fetish... - 11/19/2014 11:40:27 AM   
Musicmystery


Posts: 30259
Joined: 3/14/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: FieryOpal


quote:

ORIGINAL: Musicmystery
~FR~
I have found that many women say "most women this or that or the other thing" when the truth is "here's what I feel and I merely believe I speak for all/most women."

Most of what I've heard regarding "most women...." I've found to be false.

Geesh, did you even read the entire sentence? I'll repeat the end of it for your benefit:

quote:

ORIGINAL: FieryOpal

...if they feel they were just being used by a man for sex.


Geesh, did you even read ANY of what I wrote? Because you're just illustrating that you didn't get it.

(in reply to FieryOpal)
Profile   Post #: 108
RE: Yep, It's Too Much to Ask a Woman to be Your Fetish... - 11/19/2014 11:42:57 AM   
Greta75


Posts: 9968
Joined: 2/6/2011
Status: offline 		Well, for me, it's a great disappointment. The problem is, I was getting all these awesome orgasms as a kid, playing with myself. I obviously am not flexible enough to lick myself, so I never experienced licking until I actually did. But before I did, I had this great expectations about it, somehow, I thought it was the holy grail to the ultimate, never feel before orgasm of my lifetime. And then I got licked the first time ever, nothing. But I didn't give up, for the first few years, I allowed many different men to just do their thing and lick, because I was hoping, one will make that holy grail of orgasm happen, but it never did. So yea, eventually I got totally bored of it, and ban it from my sex life. That's my fairytale.

(in reply to RockaRolla)
Profile   Post #: 109
RE: Yep, It's Too Much to Ask a Woman to be Your Fetish... - 11/19/2014 12:04:49 PM   
shiftyw


Posts: 2837
Joined: 6/6/2013
From: The Shire
Status: offline 		See...I've never let a girl go down on me, cause with ladies I feel very much the aggressor. But even so, i expect I would still prefer digital stimulation.

And yes, you pervs, we can hold a study, for science.

(in reply to Greta75)
Profile   Post #: 110
RE: Yep, It's Too Much to Ask a Woman to be Your Fetish... - 11/19/2014 12:11:13 PM   
FieryOpal


Posts: 2821
Joined: 12/8/2013
From: Maryland
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Musicmystery
quote:

ORIGINAL: Musicmystery
~FR~
I have found that many women say "most women this or that or the other thing" when the truth is "here's what I feel and I merely believe I speak for all/most women."

Most of what I've heard regarding "most women...." I've found to be false.

Geesh, did you even read ANY of what I wrote? Because you're just illustrating that you didn't get it.

For sexyred1's sake, as a stand-alone statement, this could be said about any "most men, most people, most cats..." statements also.

But I will say this, I don't know anybody who enjoys being non-consensually used OR devalued as a person--not in a friendship, not at work, not in an intimate LTR, nowhere. If you do, then you can be the exception (or they can); there always seems to be an exception to the rule.

_____________________________

Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage. - Lao Tzu
There is no remedy for love but to love more. - Thoreau

(in reply to Musicmystery)
Profile   Post #: 111
RE: Yep, It's Too Much to Ask a Woman to be Your Fetish... - 11/19/2014 2:21:55 PM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		You women, if you find a man (or woman) who is able to precisely duplicate the drumn solo from Innagaddadavida with their tongue, you should give it another try.

Jus sayin

< Message edited by mnottertail -- 11/19/2014 2:22:30 PM >

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


(in reply to FieryOpal)
Profile   Post #: 112
RE: Yep, It's Too Much to Ask a Woman to be Your Fetish... - 11/19/2014 2:24:17 PM   
ExiledTyrant


Posts: 4547
Joined: 12/9/2013
From: Exiled
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail

You women, if you find a man (or woman) who is able to precisely duplicate the drumn solo from Innagaddadavida with their tongue, you should give it another try.

Jus sayin



DAMN IT RON! That's a trade secret FFS!

_____________________________

Gnothi Seauton
To lead, first follow: Aurelius, Epictetus, Descartes, Sun Tzu, to name a few.

Semper fidelis (which sometimes feels like a burden)

(in reply to mnottertail)
Profile   Post #: 113
RE: Yep, It's Too Much to Ask a Woman to be Your Fetish... - 11/19/2014 2:46:30 PM   
FieryOpal


Posts: 2821
Joined: 12/8/2013
From: Maryland
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail

You women, if you find a man (or woman) who is able to precisely duplicate the drumn solo from Innagaddadavida with their tongue, you should give it another try.

Jus sayin

You do know that song is 17 minutes long, don't you? Not sure how much of it is the drum solo, at least half. That'll work, either one as a baseline.

_____________________________

Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage. - Lao Tzu
There is no remedy for love but to love more. - Thoreau

(in reply to mnottertail)
Profile   Post #: 114
RE: Yep, It's Too Much to Ask a Woman to be Your Fetish... - 11/19/2014 4:42:05 PM   
GotSteel


Posts: 5871
Joined: 2/19/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: FieryOpal
We've all sown our wild oats. Maturity tends to come with age, and I'm sure you're a lot more content in your stable LTR than you were when you were hunting around for your next hook-up back in your 20s.

I've got to say every idea in that is completely foreign to me.

quote:

ORIGINAL: FieryOpal
Oh, I also believe those lying-profile stats reflect the majority of stag (or cheating) men's basic nature to say whatever line of b.s., or to give whatever impression they can, even make whatever promises they sense are necessary to get what they want from a woman.

Wow, issues with men much....


(in reply to FieryOpal)
Profile   Post #: 115
RE: Yep, It's Too Much to Ask a Woman to be Your Fetish... - 11/19/2014 5:18:48 PM   
FieryOpal


Posts: 2821
Joined: 12/8/2013
From: Maryland
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: GotSteel
quote:

ORIGINAL: FieryOpal

We've all sown our wild oats. Maturity tends to come with age, and I'm sure you're a lot more content in your stable LTR than you were when you were hunting around for your next hook-up back in your 20s.

I've got to say every idea in that is completely foreign to me.

Okay,...then you are an advocate for NSA casual hook-ups because this is foreign to your experience. Makes perfect sense. You must have only had a couple steady girlfriends. Sounds like my older son, always respectful of females (so is my younger, but hasn't had a real girlfriend yet, just the girl he took to the school formal dance).

quote:

ORIGINAL: GotSteel
quote:

ORIGINAL: FieryOpal

Oh, I also believe those lying-profile stats reflect the majority of stag (or cheating) men's basic nature to say whatever line of b.s., or to give whatever impression they can, even make whatever promises they sense are necessary to get what they want from a woman.

Wow, issues with men much....

I didn't make up that conclusion, but I checked my driver's license, and it indicates that I wasn't born yesterday. :p I've know a lot of women, some of them have been co-workers. We swap stories. They didn't all have great fathers like I did, spend over 20 years with one faithful man (who was a devoted husband and father), raise two wonderful sons, have pretty decent male relatives. None of us have been spared from the date(s) from hell. Btw, the most common stat that men fudge is over-reporting their height. (Also age, but there are women do that, too, with under-reporting their age.)

_____________________________

Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage. - Lao Tzu
There is no remedy for love but to love more. - Thoreau

(in reply to GotSteel)
Profile   Post #: 116
RE: Yep, It's Too Much to Ask a Woman to be Your Fetish... - 11/19/2014 5:31:01 PM   
ExiledTyrant


Posts: 4547
Joined: 12/9/2013
From: Exiled
Status: offline 		I'm 5'12"... usually only in the summer tho.

_____________________________

Gnothi Seauton
To lead, first follow: Aurelius, Epictetus, Descartes, Sun Tzu, to name a few.

Semper fidelis (which sometimes feels like a burden)

(in reply to FieryOpal)
Profile   Post #: 117
RE: Yep, It's Too Much to Ask a Woman to be Your Fetish... - 11/19/2014 6:33:16 PM   
DerangedUnit


Posts: 660
Joined: 2/23/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: FieryOpal


quote:

ORIGINAL: GotSteel
quote:

ORIGINAL: FieryOpal

We've all sown our wild oats. Maturity tends to come with age, and I'm sure you're a lot more content in your stable LTR than you were when you were hunting around for your next hook-up back in your 20s.

I've got to say every idea in that is completely foreign to me.

Okay,...then you are an advocate for NSA casual hook-ups because this is foreign to your experience. Makes perfect sense. You must have only had a couple steady girlfriends. Sounds like my older son, always respectful of females (so is my younger, but hasn't had a real girlfriend yet, just the girl he took to the school formal dance).

quote:

ORIGINAL: GotSteel
quote:

ORIGINAL: FieryOpal

Oh, I also believe those lying-profile stats reflect the majority of stag (or cheating) men's basic nature to say whatever line of b.s., or to give whatever impression they can, even make whatever promises they sense are necessary to get what they want from a woman.

Wow, issues with men much....

I didn't make up that conclusion, but I checked my driver's license, and it indicates that I wasn't born yesterday. :p I've know a lot of women, some of them have been co-workers. We swap stories. They didn't all have great fathers like I did, spend over 20 years with one faithful man (who was a devoted husband and father), raise two wonderful sons, have pretty decent male relatives. None of us have been spared from the date(s) from hell. Btw, the most common stat that men fudge is over-reporting their height. (Also age, but there are women do that, too, with under-reporting their age.)


Yep I have known one man who was honest about his height.... and that was by refusing to say...

I don't get it but it doesn't bother me... not just taller, some say they are shorter than they are too.

A part of me thinks that's because men don't tend measure much, so they just say whatever they assume they are. Which neans what they say is an easy way to judge their self importance. If he says he's more than a foot taller than he is, likelihood of him being an asshole goes up exponentially.

Women do it too but usually less with simple facts and more withihow people feel about them. Like with references for a job.

"the miscalibration of the incompetent stems from an error about the self, whereas the miscalibration of the highly competent stems from an error about others".

(in reply to FieryOpal)
Profile   Post #: 118
RE: Yep, It's Too Much to Ask a Woman to be Your Fetish... - 11/19/2014 6:56:30 PM   
FieryOpal


Posts: 2821
Joined: 12/8/2013
From: Maryland
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DerangedUnit

Yep I have known one man who was honest about his height.... and that was by refusing to say...

I don't get it but it doesn't bother me... not just taller, some say they are shorter than they are too.

A part of me thinks that's because men don't tend measure much, so they just say whatever they assume they are. Which neans what they say is an easy way to judge their self importance. If he says he's more than a foot taller than he is, likelihood of him being an asshole goes up exponentially.

Women do it too but usually less with simple facts and more withihow people feel about them. Like with references for a job.

"the miscalibration of the incompetent stems from an error about the self, whereas the miscalibration of the highly competent stems from an error about others".

It hadn't occurred to me that a male would claim to be shorter than he actually is, unless he wanted to be a jockey! But come to think of it, were these really tall guys? I ask because if a guy is 6'4-5", that's just way too tall for me.
It's possible if he's fairly young, he might be going by his last physical before sprouting a few more inches, but I hardly think most adult males haven't had relatively recent physicals or visits to the doctor's office (although it's possible), or had to be measured for sports.

Due to a contracted spine or back surgery, a person can lose an inch or two in height...and then there's aging. Hell, I always thought I was 5'6" but within the past couple of years I found out I've lost a half-inch in height over the decades.
This wasn't the case with my ex-fiancé (in his 30s). He swore up and down that he was 6' tall. A couple years later, I found out he was 5'11", which didn't matter to me. He was counting with his shoes on, he was that height. Back in those days, whatever you told Motor Vehicles was how your height & weight got listed on your driver's license. As long as it appears to be reasonably accurate, I don't think they question what you list down.

Perhaps not deliberate in many cases, but a lot of women like myself avoid the scales and guestimate their weight. Some of it is wishful thinking. With me, I had some rapid weight loss so I still thought I weighed more than I did. But some of it is outright deception, such as with a male friend of mine who met a lady from a dating site who was clearly 50-60 lbs heavier and had posted photos of herself from more than 5 years ago. (I met a man once who had photos of himself on his business website that were 10-15 years old.) I have pics from last year (August & January) that I haven't updated on various sites, but none of them are over 2 years old.

_____________________________

Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage. - Lao Tzu
There is no remedy for love but to love more. - Thoreau

(in reply to DerangedUnit)
Profile   Post #: 119
RE: Yep, It's Too Much to Ask a Woman to be Your Fetish... - 11/19/2014 7:16:02 PM   
GotSteel


Posts: 5871
Joined: 2/19/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: FieryOpal
Okay,...then you are an advocate for NSA casual hook-ups because this is foreign to your experience.

No what I'm saying is the way you're viewing it is completely foreign to me.


quote:

ORIGINAL: FieryOpal
Oh, I also believe those lying-profile stats reflect the majority of stag (or cheating) men's basic nature to say whatever line of b.s., or to give whatever impression they can, even make whatever promises they sense are necessary to get what they want from a woman.
quote:

ORIGINAL: GotSteel
Wow, issues with men much....

I didn't make up that conclusion, but I checked my driver's license, and it indicates that I wasn't born yesterday. :p

Actually you did make up that conclusion, your link about how men are twice as likely to lie wasn't a general statement, it was specific that they're twice as likely fudge their height. And AND that twice as likely didn't get anywhere near the majority of single men, it was 22% All the various studies that your link quoted showed minority numbers, NOT the majority that you believe.


quote:

ORIGINAL: FieryOpal
I've know a lot of women, some of them have been co-workers. We swap stories. They didn't all have great fathers like I did, spend over 20 years with one faithful man (who was a devoted husband and father), raise two wonderful sons, have pretty decent male relatives. None of us have been spared from the date(s) from hell. Btw, the most common stat that men fudge is over-reporting their height. (Also age, but there are women do that, too, with under-reporting their age.)

Oh good the anecdote because those are very reliable and never skewed by conformation bias.

(in reply to FieryOpal)
Profile   Post #: 120
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