Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

RE: Yep, It's Too Much to Ask a Woman to be Your Fetish/Kink Delivery System


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Casual Banter] >> Polls and Other Random Stupidity >> RE: Yep, It's Too Much to Ask a Woman to be Your Fetish/Kink Delivery System Page: <<   < prev  7 8 [9] 10 11   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
RE: Yep, It's Too Much to Ask a Woman to be Your Fetish... - 11/23/2014 7:42:40 PM   
GotSteel


Posts: 5871
Joined: 2/19/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: shiftyw
RE: GotSteel-

I remain uncertain of why people think this is a collarchat only issue.
Its an internet message board issue.

It's not just a collarchat issue, but it's certainly not universal either. The majority of the forums I frequented before this had a treat new posters with kid gloves rule. To point to another distinction, there are groups on fet where snark is banned, where as it's explicitly ok around here.

quote:

ORIGINAL: shiftyw
People get flamed on fet all the time- only its often in groups and in secret. If those don't show up on your friend feed, I would be happy to direct you to them on that site.

Are there bad places on fet, absolutely, for instance ARPIG has his own group. But there are also plenty of places that are required to be much more civil and much less judgemental than around here.

quote:

ORIGINAL: shiftyw
Really- I do wish posting would pick back up here. But these responses are responses you're bound to get if you come in waving your boner around anywhere- regardless of hook up culture- which I do agree- this site can be a bit "prudish"- personally. I'm way into casual sex, and feel really like the odd man out here sometimes. But I've never been harassed for it on here really.

But really- if you wanna see hazing- you should see some of the responses on the weight watchers message board. Seriously. Its internet culture, and far from just a collarchat issue.


It happens to far more than boner wavers, here I'm just going to quote myself from the last one of these threads:


quote:

ORIGINAL: GotSteel
quote:

ORIGINAL: Gauge
Oh come now, that girl is not the be all and end all of opinions and she certainly has no real firm grasp about the fact that she is on the Internet, on a kinky dating site and female and therefore open to more bullshit than say a male in the same position. I watched the video and found it quite stupid.

1. It's not just her opinion, it's my observation and the observation of a number of others as well.

2. I find her to be a meaningful example of how all the threads questioning why her demographic isn't hanging out around here can be answered by linking to all the threads justifying how badly this community treats the next generation of potential posters.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Gauge
Does she make a point or two, maybe, but I found her more naive than anything.

We were all naive once, nobody's an expert on their first day. It would be nice if that reality could lead us to being (if not friendly) at least more frequently civil toward new posters instead of calling them names like stupid.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Gauge
As far as it meeting her approval, I am sure going to lose sleep over the fact that she doesn't like this site.

*Shrug* Maybe you should. I (and others) have been noticing how this community isn't what it used to be, the solution to that's new blood. But if the levels of snark stay so highly toxic that the new posters keep running for it we have an ever dwindling community to look forward to.

(in reply to shiftyw)
Profile   Post #: 161
RE: Yep, It's Too Much to Ask a Woman to be Your Fetish... - 11/23/2014 8:14:44 PM   
shiftyw


Posts: 2837
Joined: 6/6/2013
From: The Shire
Status: offline 		I have never been on a message board with that "kids glove" rule.

In fact- several boards I've been on have a list of "what to expect" and read as "Put on your big girl/boy panties and accept some constructive criticism"

I notice you aren't going after DS who explained the same things FO did, OP gave them some sass right back.

and if you want to see that environment you and your friends should help answer these questions.

FO explained her position, several agreed with her. Do you really feel this forum should cater to these folks with no motive other than to pick up folks here/drive people to their profile?

Collarme went through that whole regime change, and the "welcome wagon" folks got sidelined and burned. RascallyMisty who welcomed EVERYONE really nicely- no longer posts here. To me...this site isn't likely to change unless the site itself changes. I have LONG said...IT IS CONFUSING. I get that. I get why these folks walk in here and expect something different. the otherside BARELY represents this side. This side to me, feels like the bastard child- sure, its a free site, but that applies to what you are talking about also. I think people get flamed when they a) refuse constructive criticism b) sass those giving them advice or opinions or c) come in here waving around their boners and not reading TOS at all.

Should this site be less prudish? YES. I actually think though, for the most part people are generally respectful, especially if the person continues to ask questions and take the advice they are looking for.

I like a fuck buddy as much as anyone, but I expect orgasms in return.
I don't expect a man to come in here and lick my face and spit in my eyes and leave. Do you not think that is a little selfish? and probably too much to ask of someone who is not a pro? (which was suggested several times to him)

(in reply to GotSteel)
Profile   Post #: 162
RE: Yep, It's Too Much to Ask a Woman to be Your Fetish... - 11/23/2014 10:56:25 PM   
FieryOpal


Posts: 2821
Joined: 12/8/2013
From: Maryland
Status: offline 		Before this gets lost in the shuffle, thanks also to @HoneyBears, @ExiledTyrant, @RockaRolla and @GoddessManko, and anyone else I haven't listed by username.
quote:

ORIGINAL: shiftyw

I have never been on a message board with that "kids glove" rule.

In fact- several boards I've been on have a list of "what to expect" and read as "Put on your big girl/boy panties and accept some constructive criticism"
<snip>
Do you really feel this forum should cater to these folks with no motive other than to pick up folks here/drive people to their profile?
<snip>

It sure sounds as if that's what GS expects users here and on other Seeking sites to do. This is what profiles are for. Without breaking site rules, users can say whatever they want in their profiles without infringing on others. There must be a reason, though, why those looking for fuckbuddies don't say so explicitly. Besides in BDSM, mutual sexual gratification and sexually physical contact is not a given, not even with a hired BDSM provider.

@RedMagic1, you have a hidden profile, so it's no wonder your mailboxes aren't being spammed. You admittedly skimmed this thread, and may not have noticed that this is in the Polls & Random Stupidity section, which is supposed to be more light-hearted in spirit, unless one is conducting a serious poll. Other than the usual fresh meat (new users), who will get targeted no matter what, I don't believe there is anything in my profile to attract Do-Me types. In fact, I deliberately don't list a couple of Interests so that I won't appear in that Search criteria, such as Strap-Ons. I have also deliberately downplayed a couple other items as Likes instead of Loves for much the same reason. To NOT appeal to those who are fixated on that particular BDSM activity.

@wittynamehere, at least you chimed in with a related opinion or commentary instead of going wildly off topic, which is appreciated.

@GotSteel, you must have been standing in front of the mirror with your "bigotry" nonsense. Here is a definition for you, of trolling: "In Internet slang, a troll is a person who sows discord on the Internet by starting arguments or upsetting people,[1] by posting inflammatory,[2] extraneous, or off-topic messages in an online community (such as a newsgroup, forum, chat room, or blog) with the deliberate intent of provoking readers into an emotional response[3] or of otherwise disrupting normal on-topic discussion.[4]" http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Troll_(Internet)

Since I didn't have the spelling of (a Domme who no longer posts here) Sylvere's last name, the title of her thread "50 Shades of NOPE" wasn't searchable as a tie-in. My intent was not to cause undue attention of any particular Do-Me thread - speaking of prolific - and this is why I did not link it in my OP or draw more attention to it, since it is a fairly generic type of Do-Me (not as to fetish/kink, but as to gratification approach), where OP doesn't understand why women aren't equally as enthused about using a man as a human toilet, or for Golden Showers, etc., or wants to know why more women aren't into the same fetish-kink that he is into and aren't responding to his (one-sided) solicitations.

As for spending money, does it cheapen BDSM to have to pay a cover charge for you and your girl to get into a Dungeon or BDSM event? Does it cheapen a party if you are required to bring a potluck dish or booze to share with the other partygoers? Does it cheapen your experience if it's not entirely free? Would you argue with club-owners or a bouncer for requiring a cover charge for you to access their establishment, some having a 2-drink minimum perhaps? I don't think you would. If you don't like those conditions, then go elsewhere. What you don't have the right to do is to sneak in or freeload off of others (although you might present a strawman argument for that as well ).

_____________________________

Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage. - Lao Tzu
There is no remedy for love but to love more. - Thoreau

(in reply to shiftyw)
Profile   Post #: 163
RE: Yep, It's Too Much to Ask a Woman to be Your Fetish... - 11/24/2014 4:19:37 AM   
ExiledTyrant


Posts: 4547
Joined: 12/9/2013
From: Exiled
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: FieryOpal

Since I didn't have the spelling of (a Domme who no longer posts here) Sylvere's last name, the title of her thread "50 Shades of NOPE" wasn't searchable as a tie-in.


http://www.collarchat.com/m_4577130/mpage_1/key_/tm.htm#4577130

Take that, YOU!

*Flounces off*

_____________________________

Gnothi Seauton
To lead, first follow: Aurelius, Epictetus, Descartes, Sun Tzu, to name a few.

Semper fidelis (which sometimes feels like a burden)

(in reply to FieryOpal)
Profile   Post #: 164
RE: Yep, It's Too Much to Ask a Woman to be Your Fetish... - 11/24/2014 4:22:40 AM   
GotSteel


Posts: 5871
Joined: 2/19/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: shiftyw
I have never been on a message board with that "kids glove" rule.

In fact- several boards I've been on have a list of "what to expect" and read as "Put on your big girl/boy panties and accept some constructive criticism"

Constructive criticism is great it's the destructive criticism/snark to score points with friends that I'm not a huge fan of.

Check this out, it's a short thread on my local group: https://fetlife.com/groups/5509/group_posts/6188189

New poster had some spelling issues, got some constructive criticism, then a poster got a bit snarky, the OP got snarky back but...BUT at the point where a collarchat thread would have descended into a toxic snark fest of posters heckling the OP, INSTEAD a mod stepped in, slapped the destructive poster and the thread went back to constructive.

quote:

ORIGINAL: shiftyw
I notice you aren't going after DS who explained the same things FO did, OP gave them some sass right back.

I haven't even read anything by DS yet.

quote:

ORIGINAL: shiftyw
and if you want to see that environment you and your friends should help answer these questions.

I make an effort to, but I'm not always around and don't get to every thread.

quote:

ORIGINAL: shiftyw
FO explained her position, several agreed with her. Do you really feel this forum should cater to these folks with no motive other than to pick up folks here/drive people to their profile?

No, this clearly isn't the community for that.

What I feel is that others don't deserve to be heckled/invalidated for being into a lifestyle/kink outside of the fairly narrow range that the community here is into.

(in reply to shiftyw)
Profile   Post #: 165
RE: Yep, It's Too Much to Ask a Woman to be Your Fetish... - 11/24/2014 5:42:32 AM   
shiftyw


Posts: 2837
Joined: 6/6/2013
From: The Shire
Status: offline 		I hear you.

and see you're point now, but think you're calling out the wrong person regarding the wrong thread too.

Personally, I think huge issues lie with collarchat/space because it is not set up like a place to receive help.
I'm not a fan of kid gloves. But personally, FO always answers with her opinion and makes it clear it is just hers.
If someone has come on here to whine about the other side not providing him with a domme to spit and lick his face on his every whim, I think it's likely that a lot of women want him to do more for them and this remains advice he should hear.

Also, while on my iPhone, before work is not the time for me to do this...I could compile a whole series of threads that worked out great and OP's took the advice given.

I agree though- sometimes it gets snarky early. I'll try to do my part. However- I do not think this thread (or your issue with this thread) started out about that really.

< Message edited by shiftyw -- 11/24/2014 5:49:40 AM >

(in reply to GotSteel)
Profile   Post #: 166
RE: Yep, It's Too Much to Ask a Woman to be Your Fetish... - 11/24/2014 8:18:49 AM   
GotSteel


Posts: 5871
Joined: 2/19/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: shiftyw
I like a fuck buddy as much as anyone, but I expect orgasms in return.
I don't expect a man to come in here and lick my face and spit in my eyes and leave. Do you not think that is a little selfish? and probably too much to ask of someone who is not a pro? (which was suggested several times to him)


I wouldn't call it selfish, anymore than you wanting orgasms is selfish. I'm think of it in terms of compatibility. Yeah, you wouldn't be a good match for someone who wants to spit and leave, but keep in mind the scene you're turning your nose up at (getting spit on and that's it) is exactly what that new poster was desperate to get.

That new poster would be a great match for someone who just wanted to spit and leave, they'd both get their wants fulfilled.


(in reply to shiftyw)
Profile   Post #: 167
RE: Yep, It's Too Much to Ask a Woman to be Your Fetish... - 11/24/2014 9:42:03 AM   
shiftyw


Posts: 2837
Joined: 6/6/2013
From: The Shire
Status: offline 		I'm not saying his spitting fetish was gross, simply while perhaps not too much to ask for, it's a tall order to fill and he should realize why it won't be somthing you come across easily, reasonable expectations are Important I think...

Also I think fet is way more fetish oriented than collarspace, it says so right in the name..

(in reply to GotSteel)
Profile   Post #: 168
RE: Yep, It's Too Much to Ask a Woman to be Your Fetish... - 11/24/2014 9:44:50 AM   
Zonie63


Posts: 2826
Joined: 4/25/2011
From: The Old Pueblo
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: FieryOpal

quote:

ORIGINAL: GotSteel
quote:

ORIGINAL: FieryOpal

Here I will admit that I was getting a dig in on you males, esp. the ones who go around touting that men and women are all the same and our only basic differences are anatomical. We also think and feel differently, our thinking and emotive processes aren't the same or identical.

So to a certain extent that's true, however much of the differences come from social indoctrination. Relevant to this discussion is our cultures female sexually repression. As said repression has diminished in every post sexual revolution generation those differences have also diminished.

Oh, I also believe those lying-profile stats reflect the majority of stag (or cheating) men's basic nature to say whatever line of b.s., or to give whatever impression they can, even make whatever promises they sense are necessary to get what they want from a woman.
Therefore, it behooves women to put men in the position of wanting more than to satisfy their animal lusts, wanting a woman for more than her 3 holes, or to serve as a pillow (bosom) to lay their heads on for womanly comforts.
It's our version of quid pro quo, to hold out for relationship and an enduring commitment, to pairbond with a mate, and if that means we need to take the man for a test drive, then so be it.

Why are so many hook-ups NSA? If the sex was good, then why wouldn't the man return for more? Because nobody wants to be treated like they're only good for a booty call. I'll bet that if you scratched the surface, you'd find that most women who engage in an NSA hook-up deeply regret doing so, if they feel they were just being used by a man for sex.

As for social/religious/cultural indoctrination, we are products of our particular generation. However, I can't agree with your position. I know myself, and I wasn't indoctrinated into monogamy or wanting a serious, committed and exclusive relationship by my generational upbringing. In fact, the counter-culture messages that were given to my generation were exactly the opposite, and only changed when deadly STDs came upon the horizon. Back in the '70s & part of the '80s, none of us young folks paid this any mind.


In some respects, I think that younger people of today are not too much different than those of us who went through the wild and crazy 70s and 80s. At least, on a generational basis, I don't think we can chastise the younger folks too much for "hooking up." I think that society has gotten a bit more open to educating younger people about STDs and birth control, probably better and more complete than what many of us were taught back when I was in school.

Perhaps the internet has brought about a different dimension to the same basic behaviors which even people in our generation never really grew out of. At least back in the day, people had to actually go out and meet other people in person - or at least talk to them on the phone. But now, we have all these dating/personals sites with all these pictures and profiles which people can browse from the comfort of their own home and do so with relative anonymity. This may relate to the problem you addressed in your OP.

Just as in the days before caller ID, there were some men of a certain personality type who made obscene phone calls to women. I don't know what percentage of men that would be - probably a relatively small percentage. However, my sense is that they're probably the same ones sending out most of the e-mails on dating/personals sites.

So, if you combine that, along with the same "singles bar mentality" ("your place or mine?") which has pervaded the culture and applied to our technological advances in communication, it's not all that surprising how things have ended up.

Interestingly enough, I did some checking a while back, and it seems that the religious personals sites have more female users than male.

(in reply to FieryOpal)
Profile   Post #: 169
RE: Yep, It's Too Much to Ask a Woman to be Your Fetish... - 11/24/2014 10:53:02 AM   
FieryOpal


Posts: 2821
Joined: 12/8/2013
From: Maryland
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ExiledTyrant
quote:

ORIGINAL: FieryOpal

Since I didn't have the spelling of (a Domme who no longer posts here) Sylvere's last name, the title of her thread "50 Shades of NOPE" wasn't searchable as a tie-in.

http://www.collarchat.com/m_4577130/mpage_1/key_/tm.htm#4577130

Take that, YOU!

*Flounces off*

Thanks, I did locate it later, but you know how those French name spellings are. Also had only remembered the NOPE part and that by itself didn't do me any good, nor which board upon which it had originated.

Hey, don't flounce off just yet. You have to play flounce bingo first.

@Zonie, I saw your post. Don't give all our older-generation secrets away, nor did we invent the one-night stand (although back then, the term FWB hadn't been coined yet)--that's been around since prehistoric times, and there are still cavemen among us. At some point though IMPO, most of us chose to grow up and settle down.

_____________________________

Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage. - Lao Tzu
There is no remedy for love but to love more. - Thoreau

(in reply to ExiledTyrant)
Profile   Post #: 170
RE: Yep, It's Too Much to Ask a Woman to be Your Fetish... - 11/24/2014 11:28:49 AM   
shiftyw


Posts: 2837
Joined: 6/6/2013
From: The Shire
Status: offline 		Ten pagesssss

(in reply to FieryOpal)
Profile   Post #: 171
RE: Yep, It's Too Much to Ask a Woman to be Your Fetish... - 11/24/2014 2:15:43 PM   
PeonForHer


Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline 		FR

At a BDSM venue, once, I was sitting on what looked like a throne. A woman I didn't know came over and, without saying a word, crouched over my foot and rubbed herself off on my lower leg, just like a dog. I didn't mind. I was fascinated, actually. And of course I was flattered.

Now then, the question is this: Would it be a bad idea for, say, a maledom, to write to a woman on CM and, in his first cmail, say, 'I'd love you to crouch over my foot and bring yourself off on my leg'?

_____________________________

http://www.domme-chronicles.com


(in reply to shiftyw)
Profile   Post #: 172
RE: Yep, It's Too Much to Ask a Woman to be Your Fetish... - 11/24/2014 3:11:35 PM   
ExiledTyrant


Posts: 4547
Joined: 12/9/2013
From: Exiled
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

FR

At a BDSM venue, once, I was sitting on what looked like a throne. A woman I didn't know came over and, without saying a word, crouched over my foot and rubbed herself off on my lower leg, just like a dog. I didn't mind. I was fascinated, actually. And of course I was flattered.

Now then, the question is this: Would it be a bad idea for, say, a maledom, to write to a woman on CM and, in his first cmail, say, 'I'd love you to crouch over my foot and bring yourself off on my leg'?


I let you know in a minute.

shifty, you've got mail.

_____________________________

Gnothi Seauton
To lead, first follow: Aurelius, Epictetus, Descartes, Sun Tzu, to name a few.

Semper fidelis (which sometimes feels like a burden)

(in reply to PeonForHer)
Profile   Post #: 173
RE: Yep, It's Too Much to Ask a Woman to be Your Fetish... - 11/24/2014 3:13:35 PM   
shiftyw


Posts: 2837
Joined: 6/6/2013
From: The Shire
Status: offline 		But I still don't have 10 pages...

(in reply to ExiledTyrant)
Profile   Post #: 174
RE: Yep, It's Too Much to Ask a Woman to be Your Fetish... - 11/24/2014 3:19:23 PM   
ExiledTyrant


Posts: 4547
Joined: 12/9/2013
From: Exiled
Status: offline 		Well, peon...


ExiledTyrant on 11/24/14 at 5:11 PM:
'I'd love you to crouch over my foot and bring yourself off on my leg'?

xxxxxxx on 11/24/14 5:15 PM
that's a hard limit!

It looks like a no go.

Jus sayin

_____________________________

Gnothi Seauton
To lead, first follow: Aurelius, Epictetus, Descartes, Sun Tzu, to name a few.

Semper fidelis (which sometimes feels like a burden)

(in reply to PeonForHer)
Profile   Post #: 175
RE: Yep, It's Too Much to Ask a Woman to be Your Fetish... - 11/24/2014 3:35:40 PM   
littleladybug


Posts: 1082
Joined: 5/30/2013
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

Now then, the question is this: Would it be a bad idea for, say, a maledom, to write to a woman on CM and, in his first cmail, say, 'I'd love you to crouch over my foot and bring yourself off on my leg'?


For me, yes. But then again, I like to actually *know* the person before I hump his leg....

(in reply to PeonForHer)
Profile   Post #: 176
RE: Yep, It's Too Much to Ask a Woman to be Your Fetish... - 11/24/2014 3:38:09 PM   
ExiledTyrant


Posts: 4547
Joined: 12/9/2013
From: Exiled
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: littleladybug


quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

Now then, the question is this: Would it be a bad idea for, say, a maledom, to write to a woman on CM and, in his first cmail, say, 'I'd love you to crouch over my foot and bring yourself off on my leg'?


For me, yes. But then again, I like to actually *know* the person before I hump his leg....



Heya, I'm ExiledTyrant, pleased to meet you...

Now that that is over, you wana hump muh leg?

_____________________________

Gnothi Seauton
To lead, first follow: Aurelius, Epictetus, Descartes, Sun Tzu, to name a few.

Semper fidelis (which sometimes feels like a burden)

(in reply to littleladybug)
Profile   Post #: 177
RE: Yep, It's Too Much to Ask a Woman to be Your Fetish... - 11/24/2014 3:39:57 PM   
littleladybug


Posts: 1082
Joined: 5/30/2013
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ExiledTyrant

Now that that is over, you wana hump muh leg?


OMG...thought you would never ask!!!!!!

(in reply to ExiledTyrant)
Profile   Post #: 178
RE: Yep, It's Too Much to Ask a Woman to be Your Fetish... - 11/24/2014 3:43:33 PM   
ExiledTyrant


Posts: 4547
Joined: 12/9/2013
From: Exiled
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: littleladybug


quote:

ORIGINAL: ExiledTyrant

Now that that is over, you wana hump muh leg?


OMG...thought you would never ask!!!!!!



BLAM!

If you notice our absence, well... its cuz I'm gunna be hittin that.

Jus sayin

_____________________________

Gnothi Seauton
To lead, first follow: Aurelius, Epictetus, Descartes, Sun Tzu, to name a few.

Semper fidelis (which sometimes feels like a burden)

(in reply to littleladybug)
Profile   Post #: 179
RE: Yep, It's Too Much to Ask a Woman to be Your Fetish... - 11/24/2014 3:45:06 PM   
shiftyw


Posts: 2837
Joined: 6/6/2013
From: The Shire
Status: offline 		Is that what she did?
I'm so out of the loop with pet play, was it pet play she was doing peon?

(^ now I'm genuinely curious, those are not snarky questions)


(in reply to littleladybug)
Profile   Post #: 180
Page:   <<   < prev  7 8 [9] 10 11   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Casual Banter] >> Polls and Other Random Stupidity >> RE: Yep, It's Too Much to Ask a Woman to be Your Fetish/Kink Delivery System Page: <<   < prev  7 8 [9] 10 11   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.125