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RE: i was wondering how can i get girls to message? - 12/18/2014 10:49:17 AM

Spiritedsub2

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It's easy pushing your buttons.
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RE: i was wondering how can i get girls to message? - 12/19/2014 8:21:02 AM

searching4mysir

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FR. Not a big fan of photo galleries of sex toys, particularly when they show insertables and other toys that can't be sanitized easily. Would much rather see photos of someone on vacation or being active (if they are) than random toys laid out.

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RE: i was wondering how can i get girls to message? - 12/19/2014 9:15:54 AM

Bhruic

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I would have to agree with the others. Your profile says very little, and says it poorly.

It portrays you as someone utterly uninteresting, who puts in minimal effort... not worthy of anyone's reply.

Luckily, it is within your power to change that impression if you are inclined to.

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RE: i was wondering how can i get girls to message? - 12/19/2014 9:28:30 AM

Bhruic

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quote:

ORIGINAL: skypilot46

This is my first attempt at joining a thread so if I'm out of place let me know how to do it an I'll take another swing at it.
I too have had limited results when writing to some of the members.Always respectful,polite,usually a little humor and I try to include something of interest from their profile.
So I think it may boil down to two things. One I can fix with a little help from the ladies,the other,well ,I'm fucked on that one. The first is the composition of my profile. The second is my age. So you can see,one we might be able fix the other,not so much.I should say I prefer to be with women in their 40s to early 50s. (mostly 40s)
I will appreciate any advise you can lay on me.

Thankx, Skypilot

“Falling in love you remain a child; rising in love you mature. By and by love becomes not a relationship, it becomes a state of your being. Not that you are in love - now you are love.”
― Osho

Years ago, when I was on plentyoffish, I created a profile that was along the lines of other men's profiles I had seen... and I got very little response, and what I got was not from the kind of women I wanted to meet.

Female friends told me I was doing it all wrong, and gave me tons of advice on what to put in my profile, and how to voice it. One even got in there herself and started editing... the result? I got even fewer responses, although more views.

Finally... a bit jaded and fed up with on-line dating, I sat down and just wrote a very open and frank description of who I was, what I liked, and the kind of person I enjoyed. I think the tag line that appeared under my picture was "Love is a dog from hell" (a reference to a Charles Bukowski poem). I was not at all bitter in my words, but I definately was not out to try and lure someone in.

The result? Within a couple of months I met the woman that I am in a committed relationship with now, these past four years... who, and I cannot downplay my luck in this, turned out to be compatible with my kinks.

So... what I am saying is just this... be genuine, and unapologetically yourself.

< Message edited by Bhruic -- 12/19/2014 9:32:25 AM >

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RE: i was wondering how can i get girls to message? - 12/19/2014 3:47:23 PM

skypilot46

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Bhruic,
Thanks for taking the time and adding your input. Right now I've been using the revised version of my profile using the suggestions from all the generous folks here on this thread. I must say the results have been amazing. I'm now getting several hits on my account a day and am presently communicating with 3 interesting women.
Your point is well taken. The profile is a bit about me and a bit about what I'm looking for as a partner and a bit about the type of relationship I would like to co create. I checked out yours which no longer needs to say the things I need to say so I couldn't co opt any ideas from you.
For the time being I'll keep this one as it is unless someone comes up with an idea I like,then I'll amend it. But like I said,seems to be working just fine now
Thanks again,
Skypilot

“Falling in love you remain a child; rising in love you mature. By and by love becomes not a relationship, it becomes a state of your being. Not that you are in love - now you are love.”
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RE: i was wondering how can i get girls to message? - 12/19/2014 4:39:37 PM

Bhruic

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Hey Skypilot... just a thought after reading your profile (with the little girl present)...

You give a bit of a list of physical criteria you are looking for in a woman, but then go on to say that those criteria don't matter if she has the personality traits you go on to describe.

I wonder if some women might be a little off put by being presented with a physical criteria they have to meet (I wonder, but the little girl flat out told me). Since those criteria don't matter to you for the right woman, why invite the right woman to rule herself out?

I would ditch that part, and elaborate more on those personality traits you find attractive, and how they are expressed.

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RE: i was wondering how can i get girls to message? - 12/20/2014 11:32:39 AM

skypilot46

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Bhruic,
Again,thank you for your time and input and that of your ("little girl"). I understand your point of view. Right now I've been writing to,for the last 2 days, one of those exceptions. One thing that makes her an exception is that she has the "stuff" to rise above it and the courage to take a chance. She wrote anyway. So although I get what you're saying,I'm thinking I'll leave it in for now.
Every one on this thread has helped and I do appreciate all the help. Too bad the rest of the world doesn't work this well.
Skypilot

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RE: i was wondering how can i get girls to message? - 12/21/2014 3:18:47 PM

domincalifornia

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Bhruic

You give a bit of a list of physical criteria you are looking for in a woman, but then go on to say that those criteria don't matter if she has the personality traits you go on to describe.

When I see something like this, I decode it as: The physical traits really do matter, but I throw in the part "that they don't matter if the personality is good" just to seem like a nice guy.

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RE: i was wondering how can i get girls to message? - 12/21/2014 3:57:43 PM

smartsub10

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"Charles Bukowski poem"

Wow. Another human being who knows who Charles Bukowski is.

I'm in love.

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RE: i was wondering how can i get girls to message? - 12/21/2014 5:04:30 PM

SweetForDaddy

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Bhruic

Hey Skypilot... just a thought after reading your profile (with the little girl present)...

You give a bit of a list of physical criteria you are looking for in a woman, but then go on to say that those criteria don't matter if she has the personality traits you go on to describe.

I wonder if some women might be a little off put by being presented with a physical criteria they have to meet (I wonder, but the little girl flat out told me). Since those criteria don't matter to you for the right woman, why invite the right woman to rule herself out?

I would ditch that part, and elaborate more on those personality traits you find attractive, and how they are expressed.

Yep, I would ditch that part too, unless the physical traits are actually important. If I don't fit physical traits in a profile then I don't message, even if the profile is outstanding in every other way. I don't want to feel like someone settled for less than they wanted with me.

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RE: i was wondering how can i get girls to message? - 12/27/2014 12:19:05 AM

Kana

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quote:

ORIGINAL: smartsub10

"Charles Bukowski poem"

Wow. Another human being who knows who Charles Bukowski is.

I'm in love.

Charlie rocks. As did Barfly.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch. Wanna meet chicas here/
the recipe is simple.
a-don't be a cretin.
b-have a decent profile. don't make it all about sex.
c-don't be a cretin
d-have a decent pic.
e-when you write em, introduce yourself as a human, not as a dom. Treat them like people. Approach her as you would if she was in a grocery store
f-don't be a cretin
g-think with the big head. act like a gentlemen online.
h-don't be a cretin

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RE: i was wondering how can i get girls to message? - 12/27/2014 9:39:15 AM

Bhruic

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:)

I love Bukowski... Especially "Women"

The Genius of the Crowd is an awesome poem too.

Even his crap stuff is poignant.

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RE: i was wondering how can i get girls to message? - 1/17/2015 9:42:59 PM

Kittenluv954

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for me 5 foot 5 is a no go. also, your profile lacks any insight as to who you are, what you are looking for. you are saying "you don't know what to say" which intones you are a bit lacking in interpersonal, and conversational skills. you invite women to "just ask" you things, but again... nothing in your profile to stimulate a single question. most women will read that, and pretty quickly move on to the next profile. I hope the honesty helps, I mean it in a helpful way.

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RE: i was wondering how can i get girls to message? - 1/17/2015 10:02:16 PM

DarkSteven

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@Kittenluv954, cody was given feedback over a month ago and hasn't taken any of it. He wants to know how to get better luck with no effort on his part.

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RE: i was wondering how can i get girls to message? - 1/17/2015 10:04:42 PM

Kittenluv954

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sounds about right lol

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RE: i was wondering how can i get girls to message? - 1/17/2015 11:08:47 PM

sheisreeds

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Kittenluv954

you are saying "you don't know what to say" which intones you are a bit lacking in interpersonal, and conversational skills.

Necromancy also intones a lack of interpersonal and conversational skills.

I guess because corpses aren't really good at following or maintaining a conversation.

But who am I to judge? It's just not my kink.

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