FieryOpal
Posts: 2821
Joined: 12/8/2013
From: Maryland
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: xrampage101
Don’t worry, I’m kind of use to people picking on me. Story of my life.
Well, you did list "Objectification." 
Seriously, though, but you were quite specific as to costs for procuring & services rendered, etc., and so you received specific replies from me (and from others).
I have pointed out in the past that there are plenty of subs with a BBW fetish. (I've read that 1 out of 10 vanilla men prefer larger women. There seem to be more than that with male subs.) I have been accused of being a BBW.
I don't speak out against the concept of tribute, not much anti-financial domination (if that's their thing), nor against Pro-Dommes themselves, just the fact that there are sub clients who get habituated by retaining control and working off a BDSM menu or having their fantasy scripts followed, then expect a lifestyle Domme to cater to their kinks & fetishes. I have been accused of being a Fin-Domme.
Truthfully, I'm glad that there are Dommes who provide BDSM services legitimately (speaking transactionally here, not legally). It helps weed out those men who are not relationship-oriented or not sincere about seeking a D/s relationship dynamic (whether already married or not, but definitely those who are married cheaters).
I have also heard Dommes say (in my former FemDom group & on the Boards here) that they will bring up tribute for another reason. One is to get rid of an obnoxious, pushy sub who can't take NO for an answer, who will then hightail it in record time, never to be heard from again. And yes, some do it as a test of sincerity. I personally don't go this route because if I'm not interested, I will say so. I screen in other ways. If I suspect I'm dealing with a DO-ME sub or with a brat (either sub or switch), I give ways for that contender to redeem himself (not as a test and not with tribute, but as an opportunity). Three strikes and he's out of the Under Consideration ballpark.
It is entirely possible that this Domme of which you speak had ascertained that you (not saying this is true of you personally) just wanted free Topping and/or casual kinky sex, so she had decided she wasn't interested. She doesn't sound as if she were a BDSM provider nor a semi-pro. This may have been her way of testing you before giving you the brush off. It is also possible that if you had demonstrated generosity of spirit and a sincere desire for D/s, she may have wanted to consider you as D/s partnership material. You would have still had to prove yourself worthy of getting collared in order to have sub partner privileges. You have made it clear that D/s as a collared sub is not what you were after, just (free) NSA kinky sex (from her perspective) with a play partner.
quote:
ORIGINAL: xrampage101
I think we all have fantasies, which I don’t consider to be a script.
Sure it is. It's a script or basic outline to follow. I will incorporate a real-life scenario (not mine) with a few of your other elements. ("You" is generically used for emphasis.)
-- You want a Domme to be decked out in fetish gear/apparel befitting your fantasy image.
-- You want a Domme to act assertive-aggressive and to "force" you to do things while smacking you with her riding crop.
-- You probably have a preference for what color/type of stilletos (x-inches high) or (black leather) boots she wears. You see yourself acting all slavish as she orders you to kiss her feet.
-- You want to be restrained while she inserts a buttplug, tramples you, makes you beg, does T&D, then sits on your face.
-- You imagine her saying certain things to you that get you aroused. <Insert verbal humiliation phrases here, as well as bitch-slapping and hair-pulling.>
-- You see yourself handcuffed to the bidet while she threatens you not to move while she shaves your pubic hair and genital region, hoses you off, and then starts objectifying you further with anal play.
-- And/or you see yourself getting spanked, and then getting objectified with ass play. Part of your "aftercare" is getting to show your appreciation for your correction by performing oral worship upon her.
-- You assume that all of this is what SHE really wants as much as, or more than, you do. She's doing all the work and you are being a (lazy) receiving bottom.
What part of the above is a give-and-take? When are you being a considerate, attentive, and passionate lover? When are you in the headspace other than being a Dominant woman's bitch, of actually servicing HER needs, wants, and desires?
quote:
ORIGINAL: xrampage101
Judging by your profile, in the left hand interests column, you are supposedly into ass play, blind folds, bondage, hair pulling, spanking etc… just to name a few, so I don’t really get your point.
My profile is kept current. You say yours isn't. That's one difference. I also don't get your point. Does this mean that I will do these things to/with just any male sub who is also into them? No, absolutely not. (Btw, I only list Ass Play & Spanking as Likes, to filter out anal sluts and spanking sluts.  I don't even list Strap-Ons at all.)
Your subsequent posts have clarified your position on various matters. Again, addressing the content of your post(s) was never about you personally or calling your own morals into question. If you didn't find some responses helpful, then so be it.
Which reminds me, whatever happened to the OP of this thread?  I don't blame him if he got overwhelmed by these divergent and tangential discussion topics.
_____________________________
Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage. - Lao Tzu
There is no remedy for love but to love more. - Thoreau
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