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Anyone single on this site? - 12/25/2014 9:44:48 AM   
SavvyFLRDomme


Posts: 6
Joined: 6/10/2013
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Is there anyone on this site who is not married and wants a monogamous relationship?
No doubt some people are poly-oriented and good for them. End of the day, that is their personal, private business.

I am sick and tired of married men approaching me when my profile states explicitly that I do not seek a poly relationship. Is anyone encountering this?


< Message edited by SavvyFLRDomme -- 12/25/2014 9:58:58 AM >
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RE: Anyone single on this site? - 12/25/2014 11:00:47 AM   
DaddySatyr


Posts: 9381
Joined: 8/29/2011
From: Pittston, Pennsyltucky
Status: offline

What I generally encounter is a friendly, well thought-out message from me that goes along the lines of:

"I was reading your journal entry from __________ and I can relate. I remember this one time when ... and he didn't even have boots on! Anyway, GREAT journal entry. Have fun and good luck on the site!"

Earns me a response of: "I'm not poly. Please leave me alone"

That's been my experience, here.



Michael


_____________________________

A Stone in My Shoe

Screen captures (and pissing on shadows) still RULE! Ya feel me?

"For that which I love, I will do horrible things"

(in reply to SavvyFLRDomme)
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RE: Anyone single on this site? - 12/25/2014 11:14:02 AM   
SavvyFLRDomme


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Thanks and Merry Xmas to you, Michael.


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RE: Anyone single on this site? - 12/25/2014 11:17:42 AM   
Marini


Posts: 3629
Joined: 2/14/2010
Status: offline
FLRDomme,

I have encountered my fair share of men that are married, or involved in serious vanilla relationships also.

After being on this site for 10 years, what I have encountered MORE than married men is ths:
those that are not looking for the same type of relationship I am looking for OR those that are looking for the same type of relationship I am looking for BUT live on the other side of the world. we don't share the same desires/kinks, or a thousand other issues or road blocks.

I accepted the fact many years ago, that many of the "submissive/slave" men on here need/or desire a kink provider, REGARDLESS of what they state in their profile.
Collarspace does not have a "bottom" category, and even if they add one, most of the bottoms on here would still not check that box.



It is not easy, but the right man is out there.
Whether or not you "meet" him on Collarme or not, this is still a great place to hang out.

Don't give up, and good luck!

Merry Christmas!!!

< Message edited by Marini -- 12/25/2014 11:22:57 AM >


_____________________________

As always, To EACH their Own.
"And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. "
Nelson Mandela
Life-long Democrat, not happy at all with Democratic Party.
NOT a Republican/Moderate and free agent

(in reply to SavvyFLRDomme)
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RE: Anyone single on this site? - 12/25/2014 11:26:42 AM   
Gauge


Posts: 5689
Joined: 6/17/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SavvyFLRDomme

Is there anyone on this site who is not married and wants a monogamous relationship?
No doubt some people are poly-oriented and good for them. End of the day, that is their personal, private business.

I am sick and tired of married men approaching me when my profile states explicitly that I do not seek a poly relationship. Is anyone encountering this?



What you maybe encountering is the "Kink = Easy Lay" crowd of clueless twits who are looking to cheat on their spouse.

You will have to separate the wheat from the chaff, and when they identify themselves as married, politely, and quickly kick them to the curb with a "No thanks, have a nice life."

Earnestly looking for someone can be an arduous task, one that requires fortitude and determination. Don't let it frustrate you, keep trying.

Welcome to the forums.

_____________________________

"For there is no folly of the beast of the earth which is not infinitely outdone by the madness of men." Herman Melville - Moby Dick

I'm wearing my chicken suit and humming La Marseillaise.

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RE: Anyone single on this site? - 12/25/2014 11:33:15 AM   
RockaRolla


Posts: 1153
Joined: 1/20/2014
From: South Florida
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Sounds like you're in a minority of folks who message people without the expectation of getting laid. I'll bet you there women have dealt with pleasant conversation with guys who would use that as a means of getting around their limits. In the end this minority becomes collateral damage.

OP, I've found the best way to find people you're looking for ids to actually start looking, rather than wait for messages to roll in. Have you done much browsing on your own?

_____________________________

~Roxie

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RE: Anyone single on this site? - 12/25/2014 11:53:28 AM   
MissToYouRedux


Posts: 867
Joined: 1/23/2010
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Married men who message with that fact are much better than the first meeting "I have to be honest with you" ones.

_____________________________

- Miss Marie


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RE: Anyone single on this site? - 12/25/2014 2:21:03 PM   
SweetForDaddy


Posts: 167
Joined: 5/17/2014
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SavvyFLRDomme

Is there anyone on this site who is not married and wants a monogamous relationship?
No doubt some people are poly-oriented and good for them. End of the day, that is their personal, private business.

I am sick and tired of married men approaching me when my profile states explicitly that I do not seek a poly relationship. Is anyone encountering this?



Yep, I get married men quite a bit, even though I explicitly ask for unmarried men. I don't even enter into conversation with them as a rule, they are easy to weed out as they are honest in their intentions (on here at least). Sometimes they keep trying and want to do the friendship thing but I don't want to be friends with married (trying to cheat) men on kinky/dating sites so I usually nip it in the bud.
People that are just friendly are different, they don't usually have the 'discrete' thing all over their profiles.

< Message edited by SweetForDaddy -- 12/25/2014 2:24:26 PM >

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RE: Anyone single on this site? - 12/25/2014 2:43:20 PM   
FieryOpal


Posts: 2821
Joined: 12/8/2013
From: Maryland
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MissToYouRedux

Married men who message with that fact are much better than the first meeting "I have to be honest with you" ones.

Ugh, I've thankfully only had this happen once. He swore up and down that he was actually separated even though he and his wife were still living under the same roof. Sorry dude, but that doesn't count as being officially separated. And until that divorce is final, you are still collared to, as in owned by, another. Or the one who told me that even though he had been living with a woman for the past 8 years, that he wasn't legally bound to her. (I've heard that a lot in the past from guys in LTRs who can so easily kick their SO to the curb without that piece of paper standing in the way of their philandering.)

OP, it really isn't that much different than on vanilla dating sites, other than on those you get to see how fugly they are right away for the most part instead of 1-2 messages later. I'm not one to get hung up on looks, but I can't do fugly.

_____________________________

Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage. - Lao Tzu
There is no remedy for love but to love more. - Thoreau

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RE: Anyone single on this site? - 12/25/2014 4:29:01 PM   
seekingreality


Posts: 599
Joined: 8/11/2011
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SavvyFLRDomme

Is there anyone on this site who is not married and wants a monogamous relationship?
No doubt some people are poly-oriented and good for them. End of the day, that is their personal, private business.

I am sick and tired of married men approaching me when my profile states explicitly that I do not seek a poly relationship. Is anyone encountering this?



I think that's par for the course of any free dating site where people don't have to post their photos. They'll be bots, scammers, game players, liars. They'll be lots of people who ignore your criteria because they're playing a numbers game.

To me, it's the cost of doing business. No point in getting irritated by it, because it will never change. The best approach is just be real; don't lead with kink; ignore those that do.

(in reply to SavvyFLRDomme)
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RE: Anyone single on this site? - 12/25/2014 4:52:19 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline
Go to any bar and you'll encounter the same. Why would you expect this to be vastly different from real people in real life?

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Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


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RE: Anyone single on this site? - 12/25/2014 11:29:54 PM   
SDFemDom4cuck


Posts: 2809
Joined: 5/23/2005
From: P'burgh PA
Status: offline
I'm a Cuckoldress and I still won't consider a married male or even one in a long term vanilla relationship. Until that divorce is final and/or the relationship is over I refuse to even talk to most self proclaimed cucks/subs/slaves. Why waste time talking to someone that isn't available?? Yet they constantly approach. But then that is true of any dating site whether kink or vanilla.

_____________________________

Ms Jo

She dealt her pretty words like Blades -
How glittering they shone -
And every One unbared a Nerve
Or wantoned with a Bone -

I want a sensitive man - one who'll cry when I hit him.

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RE: Anyone single on this site? - 12/26/2014 10:48:54 AM   
Marini


Posts: 3629
Joined: 2/14/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SDFemDom4cuck

I'm a Cuckoldress and I still won't consider a married male or even one in a long term vanilla relationship. Until that divorce is final and/or the relationship is over I refuse to even talk to most self proclaimed cucks/subs/slaves. Why waste time talking to someone that isn't available?? Yet they constantly approach. But then that is true of any dating site whether kink or vanilla.


Funny thing is, even if they are not "married", many men are often involved with someone else.
It is not easy to find anyone that is totally "single" without any attachments, and they often don't feel that it is necessary to explain them.

Oh yes, I am totally single, just ignore that woman that I am living with, or the woman that I am dating, that I had sex with last night.


_____________________________

As always, To EACH their Own.
"And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. "
Nelson Mandela
Life-long Democrat, not happy at all with Democratic Party.
NOT a Republican/Moderate and free agent

(in reply to SDFemDom4cuck)
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RE: Anyone single on this site? - 12/26/2014 11:03:24 AM   
littleladybug


Posts: 1082
Joined: 5/30/2013
Status: offline
Ah yes....

My personal favorite is "yes, I'm married, but my wife doesn't understand me".

My response is "when you grow a set of balls, feel free to look me up".

Yup....what do you get for "free"? The same thing that you get on pay sites. A pool of people who are looking for something you are not. I can say, without a doubt, that there are people here who are available and looking for a monogamous relationship. It's just going to require some weeding on your part. Or, as I said when I went back to looking after many years, "holding your nose and jumping in".


(in reply to Marini)
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RE: Anyone single on this site? - 12/26/2014 12:07:08 PM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline
no one understands me.

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


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RE: Anyone single on this site? - 12/26/2014 12:42:18 PM   
Spiritedsub2


Posts: 3316
Joined: 7/18/2012
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

Go to any bar and you'll encounter the same. Why would you expect this to be vastly different from real people in real life?

Nah. In real life married and coupled men don't go out bar hopping and seeking as much; their spouses/girlfriends would notice their absence. It's so much easier online to hide their status from women on these sites and their behavior from their partners.

_____________________________

Don’t grieve. Anything you lose comes round in another form.
~ Rumi

Laughing Dolphin

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RE: Anyone single on this site? - 12/26/2014 2:37:43 PM   
UnholyBear


Posts: 661
Joined: 10/19/2012
Status: offline
FR

Guess I never shoulda gotten married couple months back?

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Shameless flirt and just as unholy as ever!

Gauge's cuddlemuffin

CD's manwhore


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RE: Anyone single on this site? - 12/26/2014 2:57:17 PM   
LiveSpark


Posts: 808
Joined: 12/25/2014
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quote:

ORIGINAL: UnholyBear

FR

Guess I never shoulda gotten married couple months back?


Congrats Bearman!

_____________________________

I've been here as MontrealPhoenix, zephyr and
TheFireWithinMe.

I also have the sarcasm gene which is NOT to be taken seriously.

If you fall I'll always be there to catch you ~ Floor

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RE: Anyone single on this site? - 12/26/2014 3:22:56 PM   
eulero83


Posts: 1470
Joined: 11/4/2005
Status: offline
FR

I'm single but I've issues

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RE: Anyone single on this site? - 12/26/2014 3:42:06 PM   
nighthawk3569


Posts: 283
Joined: 6/22/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail

no one understands me.

 
 
Everyone understands you...all too well.  Love your signature quote. 


< Message edited by nighthawk3569 -- 12/26/2014 3:46:35 PM >


_____________________________

"If the government is big enough to give you everything you want...then it's big enough to take away everything you have!"

Thomas Jefferson




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