Bhruic
Posts: 985
Joined: 4/11/2012
From: Toronto, Canada
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quote:
ORIGINAL: DaddySatyr
quote:
ORIGINAL: UllrsIshtar
quote:
ORIGINAL: Bhruic
Hmmm... I wondering about the nature of the "lie". There are, and always will be, little white lies we tell the ones we love because we love them.
That's an odd way of looking at it.
Why would you need to lie to the ones you love? I can see telling lies to strangers when convenient or necessary, because you don't owe them anything.
But it seems that the closer you are to somebody, the more you'd owe them your authentic self, and the truth.
I don't understand why you'd tell somebody you'd love that you fundamentally don't trust them to be capable to deal with reality and thus deem it necessary to lie to them. And if you do fundamentally do not trust them to be capable of dealing with reality... then why exactly do you love them?
Edit to add: just to clarify... I do indeed do not lie to those in my inner circle. Like at all... ever... about anything. Not even 'little white lies'.
I have to agree with UI (and hello there, stranger!). I think the qouted post sounds dangerously close to the almost identical statements I've heard from so many unhappy, cynical people that goes: "Everyone lies. Deal with it."
As I said; I agree that there are very few people who practice absolute honesty but, why wouldn't you?
People know where they stand with me. I brook very little shit. There's an older guy that lives next-door to me. he's in his 70s, I guess.
Last winter, we got a 15" snowstorm and I spent 4 hours, shoveling out his handicapped spot (his wife is "handicapped") and, when I was done, his wife poked her head out the door and said: "Is that your silver car, there?"
I said: "Yes".
She said: "Please don't park forward of the tree, anymore."
The "tree" is about 4-6 feet from the property line but her husband is a dipstick, when it comes to parallel parking so, He's claiming from the tree to where his handicapped sign is (about 30 feet). When I talked to him about it, he told me that he, indeed, "needs" that much room because it's "difficult for me to get my car into such a small spot". Needless to say; there was no more shoveling of his parking spot.
So, this year, when the snow fell, I shoveled to the tree (on the sidewalk, also). He was shoveling also and he saw where I stopped. he asked if I was going to "finish" and I said: "You want the new property line to be at the tree, handle your property, pal."
I saw no need to kiss the man's ass and pretend that I was anything other than ambivalent - at best - to his wants and desires. He knows exactly where he stands with me.
I do not suffer fools, gladly and I see no reason to encourage them to further inter-action with me.
That said, there's also some positives; those people that I enjoy, that I care for, that bring joy to my life also know exactly where they stand with me. They get told on a daily basis. They also have a certain level of confidence that if my feelings or attitudes towards them change, they will most certainly know about it. They don't have to guess if they've crossed a line with me. They'll know.
Michael
What does that story have to do with telling your partner she looks fat in that dress, or that you hate her mother, or that her cooking sucks, or that your last girlfriend was slightly better in bed???
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pronounced "VROOick"
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RE: My Master Lied to Me - 
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