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RE: Woman Sexually Abuses Teenage Boy -- What Say You? - 1/8/2015 5:27:18 PM   
GoddessManko


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From: Dante's Inferno
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quote:

ORIGINAL: cloudboy


Yes. My general take on this is that Parents write the rules and want their children protected and want to avoid all gray areas on the subject. I won't argue any of that.

But, if an adult and teenager washed up on an Island with no rules -- the question of abuse would not be a general rule or parental guidelines or ages -- the question of abuse would be individual to the participants. And, the difference in ages might actually be a plus in the equation.




They're so baby faced and hairless though, ugh. Isn't that a bit of a hurdle for "getting in the mood"? If he ages a couple years, OK, maybe. It's way too debaucherous a scenario for someone with little to no experience with women and who's actually still growing *shudders*. No bueno. Now he'll need to see women as something, anything other than a sexual creature. Adults, parents, mentors, teachers, we draw those lines.

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Profile   Post #: 41
RE: Woman Sexually Abuses Teenage Boy -- What Say You? - 1/8/2015 5:30:12 PM   
FieryOpal


Posts: 2821
Joined: 12/8/2013
From: Maryland
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ExiledTyrant
quote:

ORIGINAL: cloudboy

Like MM, I'm trying to see the hardship and damages here. Legalities aside -- how has he been abused?

Yep, my view is not the popular one, mainly because I feel that youngins should date a LOT, under supervision so they can learn what kind of partner they want to be and the kind of partner that they want to have. Furthermore, I hammered abstinence until marriage into my ums because I wanted to increase their odds of remaining married without the taint of forbidden fruit to give them an unrealistic basis of comparison... as Oral Roberts said about the poor, if they never had steak they won't miss it.

@cloudboy, legalities aside, a minor cannot give consent. Nor can his parents or guardians by proxy override sexual consent without being culpable of pimping out their own child. An adult with diminished capacity cannot give consent, although it could be argued that two adults of comparable diminished capacity should be allowed to have sexual relations under special circumstances and with a support system in place.

Consent is key. Whether physically violated or not, lack of full consent is a psychological violation. For anyone to not understand wherein lie the boundaries of consent is disturbing, to say the least, going beyond the creepy perverseness of a middle-aged sexual predator who would lust after a child in the first place (or any parent who would desire a sex partner the same age or in the same dating pool as their own son or daughter).

@Exiled, I'm with you on protecting children from growing up before they're ready to deal with adult issues, adult responsibilities, and adult sexuality. Let them seek and find their own preferences and orientations in their own time and at their own pace.

As for differences in sexual abuse based on gender, when a female abuses, she ordinarily does not actively penetrate the abused. In the extreme case of Sybill who had 16 multiple personalities, she had been violated allegedly with phallic objects by her own mentally disturbed mother, and it messed her up big time.
In my view, sexual abuse by penetration is a greater violation in terms of sexual assault, whether it's male on female or male on male.

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Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage. - Lao Tzu
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Profile   Post #: 42
RE: Woman Sexually Abuses Teenage Boy -- What Say You? - 1/8/2015 5:39:23 PM   
LiveSpark


Posts: 808
Joined: 12/25/2014
Status: offline 		"In my view, sexual abuse by penetration is a greater violation in terms of sexual assault, whether it's male on female or male on male. "

That varies greatly from person to person. As a survivor of sexual abuse who has chatted extensively with fellow survivors, I know some who are just as fucked up simply having been fondled as others who were raped. There really is no such thing as less/more than, it's very much an individual thing.

_____________________________

I've been here as MontrealPhoenix, zephyr and
TheFireWithinMe.

I also have the sarcasm gene which is NOT to be taken seriously.

If you fall I'll always be there to catch you ~ Floor

(in reply to FieryOpal)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: Woman Sexually Abuses Teenage Boy -- What Say You? - 1/8/2015 6:12:00 PM   
FieryOpal


Posts: 2821
Joined: 12/8/2013
From: Maryland
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LiveSpark

"In my view, sexual abuse by penetration is a greater violation in terms of sexual assault, whether it's male on female or male on male. "

That varies greatly from person to person. As a survivor of sexual abuse who has chatted extensively with fellow survivors, I know some who are just as fucked up simply having been fondled as others who were raped. There really is no such thing as less/more than, it's very much an individual thing.

This isn't to say that molestation has less of a negative impact. Violation is violation in whatever form. Having a naked photo entrusted to your bf splashed all over the Internet is as much of a violation of trust and privacy, and of your personal boundaries as any other. You could feel as though you had been raped. Rape is no less serious whether it was by one perpetrator than by a gang of perpetrators--but being gang-raped would more than likely be the more traumatic ordeal.

_____________________________

Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage. - Lao Tzu
There is no remedy for love but to love more. - Thoreau

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Profile   Post #: 44
RE: Woman Sexually Abuses Teenage Boy -- What Say You? - 1/8/2015 6:12:03 PM   
slvemike4u


Posts: 17896
Joined: 1/15/2008
From: United States
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Musicmystery


quote:

ORIGINAL: darkwanderer3305

No matter how "Penthouse Forums" this story sounds - raping a child is raping a child... It is just as wrong for this woman to do what she did as it would be for a 47 year old man to get a little girl drunk and perform oral sex on her. Rape is rape! Wrong is wrong! This woman should be locked up with all of the other rapists who are destroying young lives/minds!!!

How is his life and mind destroyed?

Hell, at 15, this would have made my year.

I'm surprised at this post...darkwanderer got it right,no matter the sex of the adult or of the child,no adult should fuck around with a child who is in the process of forming his/her own sexual identity and has no need for an adult to come along and rearrange the wiring so to speak.
Even if the only thing this young boy takes out of the experience is the need for a power imbalance(which is what you get when a 47 year old engages in sex with a 15 year old)what right did she have to wire the kid in that way ?

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If we want things to stay as they are,things will have to change...Tancredi from "the Leopard"

Forget Guns-----Ban the pools

Funny stuff....https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eNwFf991d-4


(in reply to Musicmystery)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: Woman Sexually Abuses Teenage Boy -- What Say You? - 1/8/2015 6:15:54 PM   
LiveSpark


Posts: 808
Joined: 12/25/2014
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: FieryOpal


quote:

ORIGINAL: LiveSpark

"In my view, sexual abuse by penetration is a greater violation in terms of sexual assault, whether it's male on female or male on male. "

That varies greatly from person to person. As a survivor of sexual abuse who has chatted extensively with fellow survivors, I know some who are just as fucked up simply having been fondled as others who were raped. There really is no such thing as less/more than, it's very much an individual thing.

This isn't to say that molestation has less of a negative impact. Violation is violation in whatever form. Having a naked photo entrusted to your bf splashed all over the Internet is as much of a violation of trust and privacy, and of your personal boundaries as any other. You could feel as though you had been raped. Rape is no less serious whether it was by one perpetrator than by a gang of perpetrators--but being gang-raped would more than likely be the more traumatic ordeal.


Fair enough, I see what you're saying. I just wanted to put that out there because so many times I heard - from fellow survivors yet - that it shouldn't be so traumatic because they were "only" touched. I figured it would be good to put it out there.

_____________________________

I've been here as MontrealPhoenix, zephyr and
TheFireWithinMe.

I also have the sarcasm gene which is NOT to be taken seriously.

If you fall I'll always be there to catch you ~ Floor

(in reply to FieryOpal)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: Woman Sexually Abuses Teenage Boy -- What Say You? - 1/8/2015 6:24:51 PM   
FieryOpal


Posts: 2821
Joined: 12/8/2013
From: Maryland
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LiveSpark

Fair enough, I see what you're saying. I just wanted to put that out there because so many times I heard - from fellow survivors yet - that it shouldn't be so traumatic because they were "only" touched. I figured it would be good to put it out there.

Yeah, I should have been clearer or placed more emphasis on the degree of trauma involved. On the other hand, I didn't want to sidestep my focal point about (fully informed adult) consent for those who would say that this boy or that most 15-year-old boys would have welcomed this woman's advances and wasn't the least bit "traumatized" or that, conversely, now he had bragging rights in the school gym locker room.

_____________________________

Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage. - Lao Tzu
There is no remedy for love but to love more. - Thoreau

(in reply to LiveSpark)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: Woman Sexually Abuses Teenage Boy -- What Say You? - 1/8/2015 6:28:01 PM   
LiveSpark


Posts: 808
Joined: 12/25/2014
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: FieryOpal


quote:

ORIGINAL: LiveSpark

Fair enough, I see what you're saying. I just wanted to put that out there because so many times I heard - from fellow survivors yet - that it shouldn't be so traumatic because they were "only" touched. I figured it would be good to put it out there.

Yeah, I should have been clearer or placed more emphasis on the degree of trauma involved. On the other hand, I didn't want to sidestep my focal point about (fully informed adult) consent for those who would say that this boy or that most 15-year-old boys would have welcomed this woman's advances and wasn't the least bit "traumatized" or that, conversely, now he had bragging rights in the school gym locker room.


I agree and that is very very important as well. IMO it's hard enough for male survivors to report abuse without people trivializing their experiences as fun and games.


_____________________________

I've been here as MontrealPhoenix, zephyr and
TheFireWithinMe.

I also have the sarcasm gene which is NOT to be taken seriously.

If you fall I'll always be there to catch you ~ Floor

(in reply to FieryOpal)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: Woman Sexually Abuses Teenage Boy -- What Say You? - 1/8/2015 6:41:00 PM   
LookieNoNookie


Posts: 12216
Joined: 8/9/2008
Status: offline 		"What say you?"

WTF is that?

Copycat blah blah blah.

(in reply to cloudboy)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: Woman Sexually Abuses Teenage Boy -- What Say You? - 1/8/2015 6:41:23 PM   
Musicmystery


Posts: 30259
Joined: 3/14/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: slvemike4u


quote:

ORIGINAL: Musicmystery


quote:

ORIGINAL: darkwanderer3305

No matter how "Penthouse Forums" this story sounds - raping a child is raping a child... It is just as wrong for this woman to do what she did as it would be for a 47 year old man to get a little girl drunk and perform oral sex on her. Rape is rape! Wrong is wrong! This woman should be locked up with all of the other rapists who are destroying young lives/minds!!!

How is his life and mind destroyed?

Hell, at 15, this would have made my year.

I'm surprised at this post...darkwanderer got it right,no matter the sex of the adult or of the child,no adult should fuck around with a child who is in the process of forming his/her own sexual identity and has no need for an adult to come along and rearrange the wiring so to speak.
Even if the only thing this young boy takes out of the experience is the need for a power imbalance(which is what you get when a 47 year old engages in sex with a 15 year old)what right did she have to wire the kid in that way ?

Asked and answered. Please see thread.

(in reply to slvemike4u)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: Woman Sexually Abuses Teenage Boy -- What Say You? - 1/8/2015 7:19:38 PM   
slvemike4u


Posts: 17896
Joined: 1/15/2008
From: United States
Status: offline 		I saw the thread,the way I work is I start at the beginning and if I run into something I wish to comment on I do so....than and only than do I continue to read the thread.
It's the way I do things....sorry if that throws you...but my post stands,I'm still surprised at your callous take on what is,in my opinion ,fucked up.
I hope this kid has an easier time figuring out who he is than I did.

_____________________________

If we want things to stay as they are,things will have to change...Tancredi from "the Leopard"

Forget Guns-----Ban the pools

Funny stuff....https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eNwFf991d-4


(in reply to littleladybug)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: Woman Sexually Abuses Teenage Boy -- What Say You? - 1/8/2015 8:01:06 PM   
Musicmystery


Posts: 30259
Joined: 3/14/2005
Status: offline 		Well, then you read what you wanted, and not what I posted.

I said nothing callous whatsoever. I did ask a few questions that no one seems to be able to answer with evidence. Not even questioning the crime or the punishment. All good there.

Lots of horrible things happen in the world. This, although a crime, and given what we have to go on, isn't one of them.

There's isn't time or space to make drama of it all. A willing kid got a view, a feel, a blowjob, and walked when he wanted. Shouldn't have happened. But traumatic? Please.

Granted, wouldn't want it to happen to my kid or yours or the neighbors. But life will go on. One poster claimed "his life and mind are destroyed." That's over the top.

Sorry if you feel otherwise. But meanwhile in the world, ACTUAL tragedies are happening.

(in reply to slvemike4u)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: Woman Sexually Abuses Teenage Boy -- What Say You? - 1/8/2015 8:14:36 PM   
slvemike4u


Posts: 17896
Joined: 1/15/2008
From: United States
Status: offline 		Sorry but that is callous....you have no way of knowing what effect this might have on this kid going forward.
Neither do I,perhaps it is a case of....'a willing kid got a view,a feel,ablowjob",perhaps he also got confused and loses his way.
Hopefully it comes out more as you see it than the possibility that I see


But the bitch belongs in jail.....kids are off limits,and life is much easier when we follow some simple rules.

_____________________________

If we want things to stay as they are,things will have to change...Tancredi from "the Leopard"

Forget Guns-----Ban the pools

Funny stuff....https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eNwFf991d-4


(in reply to Musicmystery)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: Woman Sexually Abuses Teenage Boy -- What Say You? - 1/8/2015 8:29:24 PM   
Musicmystery


Posts: 30259
Joined: 3/14/2005
Status: offline 		No, I'm simply saying we don't know, and I'm not jumping on the drama train for no reason.

We already agree on the criminality. As for the rest, enjoy your trip.

(in reply to slvemike4u)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: Woman Sexually Abuses Teenage Boy -- What Say You? - 1/9/2015 6:08:21 AM   
thishereboi


Posts: 14463
Joined: 6/19/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: darkwanderer3305

No matter how "Penthouse Forums" this story sounds - raping a child is raping a child... It is just as wrong for this woman to do what she did as it would be for a 47 year old man to get a little girl drunk and perform oral sex on her. Rape is rape! Wrong is wrong! This woman should be locked up with all of the other rapists who are destroying young lives/minds!!!



Yea, that pretty much sums it up for me also.

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Profile   Post #: 55
RE: Woman Sexually Abuses Teenage Boy -- What Say You? - 1/9/2015 6:12:35 AM   
thishereboi


Posts: 14463
Joined: 6/19/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: ExiledTyrant

Most legal systems in the world have a way of dealing with people that pose a threat to society, it's called jail. Sensationalism can be achieved post conviction, perhaps more thoroughly so, rather than pre-conviction. There was a Doc in the midwest that was accused of molesting his daughter... cuffed, stuffed, booked, and later we learn that it was his son spinning a story because he didn't get the new xbox her wanted and dad needed to suffer. He had to leave the state and I cannot imagine him every working as a doc again because that shit will stick to him for the rest of his life. He can point out that it was a false accusation, but people prefer to demonize others rather than understand them.



That happened to an orthopedic surgeon in Florida. He lost his wife, kids and practice. Then they found out he hadn't done anything wrong. Now you would have thought that the wife would come back but last I heard she never did.

_____________________________

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This here is the boi formerly known as orfunboi


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Profile   Post #: 56
RE: Woman Sexually Abuses Teenage Boy -- What Say You? - 1/9/2015 6:25:52 AM   
thishereboi


Posts: 14463
Joined: 6/19/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: cloudboy

What happened is the boy told his parents, and that led to a shit storm and charges for the woman.

Somewhat like MM, I see this through sexist eyes and not a technical, legal prizm. I don't really think a woman abuses a boy with kisses, blow jobs, and invitations for intercourse. But, I do think a man abuses a girl when the roles are reversed, and I think man abuses a boy. (Don't ask me if a Woman could abuse a girl, that makes my head hurt, but I've never read/heard of such a thing.)

Like MM, I'm trying to see the hardship and damages here. Legalities aside -- how has he been abused?



Why do you think gender makes a difference? If it's ok to get a boy drunk, take him from his friends and give him a blow job then why isn't it ok for a man to take a girl, get her drunk, separate her from her friends and go down on her? In your own words please not a link to why someone else thinks this way.

_____________________________

"Sweetie, you're wasting your gum" .. Albert


This here is the boi formerly known as orfunboi


(in reply to cloudboy)
Profile   Post #: 57
RE: Woman Sexually Abuses Teenage Boy -- What Say You? - 1/9/2015 6:32:11 AM   
LiveSpark


Posts: 808
Joined: 12/25/2014
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: cloudboy


The BALTIMORE SUN makes the case for abuse here:

http://www.baltimoresun.com/news/opinion/editorial/bs-ed-shattuck-20141106-story.html

-------

Well, you need to explain to me why it is abuse. The SUN takes a crack at it, but it only speaks in general platitudes and cites no actual examples of scarred for life teenage boys who've been touched, kissed, and fondled by an older woman. It seems more a theoretical construct than actual reality.




As I explained in another post, I'm a survivor of abuse and have been chatting with other survivors on a chat board specifically for survivors. There are people there whose abuse consisted of being touched, fondled, and kissed by their abuser. They are just as fucked up as those of us who were raped. Gender has NOTHING to do with it however much you think it does. Those who were abused by women are also just as affected by their abuse as those abused by men.

ETA: I should also say that the gender of their victims also has nothing to do with how affected by their abuse they were.

< Message edited by LiveSpark -- 1/9/2015 7:04:54 AM >

_____________________________

I've been here as MontrealPhoenix, zephyr and
TheFireWithinMe.

I also have the sarcasm gene which is NOT to be taken seriously.

If you fall I'll always be there to catch you ~ Floor

(in reply to cloudboy)
Profile   Post #: 58
RE: Woman Sexually Abuses Teenage Boy -- What Say You? - 1/9/2015 9:05:54 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Musicmystery
Show me ANY credible study that shows that.



Credible study of results of sexual assault on young men. And this was sexual assault by definition.

http://bjp.rcpsych.org/content/184/5/416.full

Why you refused to spend one minute searching yourself escapes me.

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Profile   Post #: 59
RE: Woman Sexually Abuses Teenage Boy -- What Say You? - 1/9/2015 9:07:27 AM   
LiveSpark


Posts: 808
Joined: 12/25/2014
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP


quote:

ORIGINAL: Musicmystery
Show me ANY credible study that shows that.



Credible study of results of sexual assault on young men. And this was sexual assault by definition.

http://bjp.rcpsych.org/content/184/5/416.full

Why you refused to spend one minute searching yourself escapes me.


It's MUCH easier if someone else does the work.

_____________________________

I've been here as MontrealPhoenix, zephyr and
TheFireWithinMe.

I also have the sarcasm gene which is NOT to be taken seriously.

If you fall I'll always be there to catch you ~ Floor

(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 60
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