RE: Woman Sexually Abuses Teenage Boy -- What Say You?

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RE: Woman Sexually Abuses Teenage Boy -- What Say You? - 1/9/2015 9:27:41 AM

Musicmystery

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LiveSpark

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

quote:

ORIGINAL: Musicmystery
Show me ANY credible study that shows that.

Credible study of results of sexual assault on young men. And this was sexual assault by definition.

http://bjp.rcpsych.org/content/184/5/416.full

Why you refused to spend one minute searching yourself escapes me.

It's MUCH easier if someone else does the work.

Why would I search for something I doubt exists?

Snark all you want. You folks make the claim, you folks supply the evidence.

See how that works?

The mean age of the children in the linked summary (not the study itself) was 9, and weighted toward girls. And it doesn't make any distinction among types and duration of abuse.

The summary itself lists a range of limitations.

Still leaves the question of one particular 15 year old boy open.

< Message edited by Musicmystery -- 1/9/2015 9:31:52 AM >

(in reply to LiveSpark)

Post #: 61

RE: Woman Sexually Abuses Teenage Boy -- What Say You? - 1/9/2015 3:37:04 PM

SweetForDaddy

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Musicmystery

No one is saying it's not a crime, nor that it shouldn't be.

At the same time, the claim that "his life and mind were destroyed" is just dramatic bullshit.

And I'll add that, while I'm not endorsing it, at 15, I'd have loved it.

Loads of my friends were in sexual relationships before the age of legal consent with older people. Nobody went to prison. It's like a year off consent in the UK, that is neither here nor there to my mind.

All depends on the circumstance I think.

I have no idea what any grown woman would really want with a 15 year old boy though.

(in reply to Musicmystery)

Post #: 62

RE: Woman Sexually Abuses Teenage Boy -- What Say You? - 1/9/2015 3:50:40 PM

AAkasha

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quote:

ORIGINAL: SweetForDaddy

quote:

ORIGINAL: Musicmystery

No one is saying it's not a crime, nor that it shouldn't be.

At the same time, the claim that "his life and mind were destroyed" is just dramatic bullshit.

And I'll add that, while I'm not endorsing it, at 15, I'd have loved it.

Loads of my friends were in sexual relationships before the age of legal consent with older people. Nobody went to prison. It's like a year off consent in the UK, that is neither here nor there to my mind.

All depends on the circumstance I think.

I have no idea what any grown woman would really want with a 15 year old boy though.

That's the point. What does an adult woman want with a 15 year old and what right does she have to use (manipulate, seduce) a man who is not mature yet? Just to get her jolliles?

Men in this thread are looking at this with 'boner goggles' from their ADULT male POV not realizing this is a kid. A woman with interest in a child most likely has some nefarious urges and desires that she's roping him into, and a boy of 15 doesn't have the world wisdom to take it all with perspective.

Edit to add: Question for those that think this is ok. Is it OK/normal for a woman (adult) to have desires for a 15 year old? If not, then how are you to accept that she is mentally stable/not off her rocker when she goes ahead and pursues him for her own desires?

< Message edited by AAkasha -- 1/9/2015 3:52:49 PM >

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Post #: 63

RE: Woman Sexually Abuses Teenage Boy -- What Say You? - 1/9/2015 4:03:34 PM

Musicmystery

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quote:

ORIGINAL: SweetForDaddy

quote:

ORIGINAL: Musicmystery

No one is saying it's not a crime, nor that it shouldn't be.

At the same time, the claim that "his life and mind were destroyed" is just dramatic bullshit.

And I'll add that, while I'm not endorsing it, at 15, I'd have loved it.

Loads of my friends were in sexual relationships before the age of legal consent with older people. Nobody went to prison. It's like a year off consent in the UK, that is neither here nor there to my mind.

All depends on the circumstance I think.

I have no idea what any grown woman would really want with a 15 year old boy though.

Yeah, I agree. The messed up mind/life is the older woman, no question.

(in reply to SweetForDaddy)

Post #: 64

RE: Woman Sexually Abuses Teenage Boy -- What Say You? - 1/9/2015 4:10:07 PM

LiveSpark

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Joined: 12/25/2014
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Musicmystery

quote:

ORIGINAL: SweetForDaddy

quote:

ORIGINAL: Musicmystery

No one is saying it's not a crime, nor that it shouldn't be.

At the same time, the claim that "his life and mind were destroyed" is just dramatic bullshit.

And I'll add that, while I'm not endorsing it, at 15, I'd have loved it.

Loads of my friends were in sexual relationships before the age of legal consent with older people. Nobody went to prison. It's like a year off consent in the UK, that is neither here nor there to my mind.

All depends on the circumstance I think.

I have no idea what any grown woman would really want with a 15 year old boy though.

Yeah, I agree. The messed up mind/life is the older woman, no question.

Speaking for yourself fine but how can you possibly say that no male would be traumatized? You can't.

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Post #: 65

RE: Woman Sexually Abuses Teenage Boy -- What Say You? - 1/9/2015 4:14:56 PM

Musicmystery

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How can you possibly say any 15 year old subjected to one voluntary blow job is messed up in mind and life forever?

You can't.

And that's the point. Are the arm-chair doctors of psychiatry done now?

(in reply to LiveSpark)

Post #: 66

RE: Woman Sexually Abuses Teenage Boy -- What Say You? - 1/9/2015 4:17:50 PM

LiveSpark

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Funny man. What about the ones who realize that essentially their mom just blew them? And don't tell me it can't, that's bullshit.

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TheFireWithinMe.

I also have the sarcasm gene which is NOT to be taken seriously.

If you fall I'll always be there to catch you ~ Floor

(in reply to Musicmystery)

Post #: 67

RE: Woman Sexually Abuses Teenage Boy -- What Say You? - 1/9/2015 4:20:22 PM

PeonForHer

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quote:

A woman with interest in a child most likely has some nefarious urges and desires that she's roping him into, and a boy of 15 doesn't have the world wisdom to take it all with perspective.

The standard theme is that she wants to 'teach' him. At least, that's the theme I've most often seen portrayed in books and films where an older woman and a youth (shall we call him) get together sexually. Do you think that's unlikely in this case - and unrealistic in general?

< Message edited by PeonForHer -- 1/9/2015 4:21:53 PM >

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Post #: 68

RE: Woman Sexually Abuses Teenage Boy -- What Say You? - 1/9/2015 4:45:06 PM

FieryOpal

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From: Maryland
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Musicmystery

quote:

ORIGINAL: SweetForDaddy

Loads of my friends were in sexual relationships before the age of legal consent with older people. Nobody went to prison. It's like a year off consent in the UK, that is neither here nor there to my mind.

All depends on the circumstance I think.

I have no idea what any grown woman would really want with a 15 year old boy though.

Yeah, I agree. The messed up mind/life is the older woman, no question.

Besides violation of trust, where as a parent you should be able to feel that your children are reasonably safe with their friends' parents and in their friends' homes, and they with their kids with you and in your home, an adult has the power to mold and influence a minor indelibly - to make a lasting imprint - because adults, specifically parents/teachers/coaches/pastors-priests are authority figures. Look at how much influence your children's peers have over them with peer pressure as it is, as well as their peers' older siblings and/or upperclassmen.

Some of you may assume that there's nothing wrong with a seduction-coercion scenario when a friend's mother or neighbor is a MILF. What if this older woman had been decrepit and foul-smelling? An unattractive woman you would never sexually fantasize about in a million years? Then what? Does that make her less entitled to prey upon young males than a relatively attractive woman? Wrong is wrong, no matter how it's packaged.

MILF or not, how damaging to a developing psyche and self-image would these comments be?
-- Unflattering remarks about one's genitals and/or other parts of one's body
-- Comparisons of one's underdeveloped genitalia to that of an adult male
-- Saying that his penis is too small to do the job
-- Laughing at and thereby humiliating him for not being able to or not knowing how to perform
-- And the list goes on.... (The same for a minor female in comparable ways)

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Post #: 69

RE: Woman Sexually Abuses Teenage Boy -- What Say You? - 1/9/2015 5:01:18 PM

littleladybug

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Joined: 5/30/2013
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quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

quote:

A woman with interest in a child most likely has some nefarious urges and desires that she's roping him into, and a boy of 15 doesn't have the world wisdom to take it all with perspective.

The standard theme is that she wants to 'teach' him. At least, that's the theme I've most often seen portrayed in books and films where an older woman and a youth (shall we call him) get together sexually. Do you think that's unlikely in this case - and unrealistic in general?

I can't tell you how many times, over the years, when I have told someone that my first sexual experience was with someone who had 15 years on me, they have said, "well, you should be happy that you had someone with experience to teach you."

Yeah,among other things, it FUCKS YOU UP.

No beating around the bush. Personally, I never reported this, for various reasons...but, yes, having *this* as my first experience? Yeah, I was a damned "mature" 13 year old. I should be happy that my first sexual experience was with someone "mature". Or so I'm told. Of course, my experience was the opposite of the one that the OP referenced. And, YES, I had dreams about being someone's slave. But, they should have remained as such. Who was *this* person to test the boundaries of "what is right"? To essentially force himself on someone who knew no better?

Fact of the matter is that the only reason this is even an issue is because this woman is a "former cheerleader". What if she wasn't? Fuck...I know when I "had my dreams", the guy was damned hot. What if this was a 50 year old hag? Still "teaching" the same things, but from a different body. Would that make a difference to those who think that this particular scenario is "ok"? And, more importantly, why?

(in reply to PeonForHer)

Post #: 70

RE: Woman Sexually Abuses Teenage Boy -- What Say You? - 1/9/2015 5:07:25 PM

LiveSpark

Posts: 808
Joined: 12/25/2014
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quote:

ORIGINAL: littleladybug

quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

quote:

A woman with interest in a child most likely has some nefarious urges and desires that she's roping him into, and a boy of 15 doesn't have the world wisdom to take it all with perspective.

The standard theme is that she wants to 'teach' him. At least, that's the theme I've most often seen portrayed in books and films where an older woman and a youth (shall we call him) get together sexually. Do you think that's unlikely in this case - and unrealistic in general?

I can't tell you how many times, over the years, when I have told someone that my first sexual experience was with someone who had 15 years on me, they have said, "well, you should be happy that you had someone with experience to teach you."

Yeah,among other things, it FUCKS YOU UP.

No beating around the bush. Personally, I never reported this, for various reasons...but, yes, having *this* as my first experience? Yeah, I was a damned "mature" 13 year old. I should be happy that my first sexual experience was with someone "mature". Or so I'm told. Of course, my experience was the opposite of the one that the OP referenced. And, YES, I had dreams about being someone's slave. But, they should have remained as such. Who was *this* person to test the boundaries of "what is right"? To essentially force himself on someone who knew no better?

Fact of the matter is that the only reason this is even an issue is because this woman is a "former cheerleader". What if she wasn't? Fuck...I know when I "had my dreams", the guy was damned hot. What if this was a 50 year old hag? Still "teaching" the same things, but from a different body. Would that make a difference to those who think that this particular scenario is "ok"? And, more importantly, why?

THIS is exactly the point I have been trying to drive home. Sounds like every guy's fantasy but who's to say he remained fine with it? No I don't know for sure but it's possible. It IS possible that later on it hit him that he was essentially blown by his mom. I hope someone has checked in on him to make sure he's okay.

llb I'm sorry for what happened for you and that what should have been a beautiful experience was stolen from you. Noone had the right to do that to you.

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I also have the sarcasm gene which is NOT to be taken seriously.

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Post #: 71

RE: Woman Sexually Abuses Teenage Boy -- What Say You? - 1/9/2015 5:24:00 PM

vincentML

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Joined: 10/31/2009
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quote:

THIS is exactly the point I have been trying to drive home. Sounds like every guy's fantasy but who's to say he remained fine with it? No I don't know for sure but it's possible. It IS possible that later on it hit him that he was essentially blown by his mom. I hope someone has checked in on him to make sure he's okay.

Don't know if this issue has already been raised in this thread but I have been wondering . . . . . when is the sexual act perceived as ABUSE by the young person? When does he/she become psychosexually damaged? Assuming a seduction and not a violent rape. Assuming some pleasure was derived. When does guilt begin for the child? Is it immediate? A day later? A year later? Does the abused know intuitively he has been abused? Or most he wait for information and validation later in life? Is the feeling of being abused (in a non-violent, seductive, maybe pleasurable experience) implicit/explicit in the experience or is it ladled on later as a social taboo construct? When does a child know he/she has been wronged? Is there a universal reference? Curious.

(in reply to LiveSpark)

Post #: 72

RE: Woman Sexually Abuses Teenage Boy -- What Say You? - 1/9/2015 5:25:29 PM

littleladybug

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quote:

ORIGINAL: vincentML
Assuming some pleasure was derived. When does guilt begin for the child? Is it immediate? A day later? A year later? Does the abused know intuitively he has been abused? Or most he wait for information and validation later in life? Is the feeling of being abused (in a non-violent, seductive, maybe pleasurable experience) implicit/explicit in the experience or is it ladled on later as a social taboo construct? When does a child know he/she has been wronged? Is there a universal reference? Curious.

Why is this even an issue?

(in reply to vincentML)

Post #: 73

RE: Woman Sexually Abuses Teenage Boy -- What Say You? - 1/9/2015 5:38:16 PM

LiveSpark

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quote:

ORIGINAL: vincentML

quote:

THIS is exactly the point I have been trying to drive home. Sounds like every guy's fantasy but who's to say he remained fine with it? No I don't know for sure but it's possible. It IS possible that later on it hit him that he was essentially blown by his mom. I hope someone has checked in on him to make sure he's okay.

Don't know if this issue has already been raised in this thread but I have been wondering . . . . . when is the sexual act perceived as ABUSE by the young person? When does he/she become psychosexually damaged? Assuming a seduction and not a violent rape. Assuming some pleasure was derived. When does guilt begin for the child? Is it immediate? A day later? A year later? Does the abused know intuitively he has been abused? Or most he wait for information and validation later in life? Is the feeling of being abused (in a non-violent, seductive, maybe pleasurable experience) implicit/explicit in the experience or is it ladled on later as a social taboo construct? When does a child know he/she has been wronged? Is there a universal reference? Curious.

Having chatted with fellow abuse survivors, and yes this is anecdotal, it varies literally from person to person. It's very individual. If pleasure was derived the guilt tends to be stronger because we enjoyed it and that has to be wrong, right. I can't tell you how much that can fuck you up even though it's natural for the body to respond that way.

_____________________________

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I also have the sarcasm gene which is NOT to be taken seriously.

If you fall I'll always be there to catch you ~ Floor

(in reply to vincentML)

Post #: 74

RE: Woman Sexually Abuses Teenage Boy -- What Say You? - 1/9/2015 5:39:43 PM

LiveSpark

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quote:

ORIGINAL: littleladybug

quote:

ORIGINAL: vincentML
Assuming some pleasure was derived. When does guilt begin for the child? Is it immediate? A day later? A year later? Does the abused know intuitively he has been abused? Or most he wait for information and validation later in life? Is the feeling of being abused (in a non-violent, seductive, maybe pleasurable experience) implicit/explicit in the experience or is it ladled on later as a social taboo construct? When does a child know he/she has been wronged? Is there a universal reference? Curious.

Why is this even an issue?

Actually those are good questions. When someone tries to understand that should be encouraged.

_____________________________

I've been here as MontrealPhoenix, zephyr and
TheFireWithinMe.

I also have the sarcasm gene which is NOT to be taken seriously.

If you fall I'll always be there to catch you ~ Floor

(in reply to littleladybug)

Post #: 75

RE: Woman Sexually Abuses Teenage Boy -- What Say You? - 1/9/2015 5:45:45 PM

GoddessManko

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I would be shocked if he was able to see women as something, anything other than sexual objects. Even if he tries to change that.

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Post #: 76

RE: Woman Sexually Abuses Teenage Boy -- What Say You? - 1/9/2015 5:51:11 PM

LiveSpark

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Joined: 12/25/2014
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quote:

ORIGINAL: GoddessManko

I would be shocked if he was able to see women as something, anything other than sexual objects. Even if he tries to change that.

So would I. Everyone is different and we don't know for sure but yes it would surprise me.

_____________________________

I've been here as MontrealPhoenix, zephyr and
TheFireWithinMe.

I also have the sarcasm gene which is NOT to be taken seriously.

If you fall I'll always be there to catch you ~ Floor

(in reply to GoddessManko)

Post #: 77

RE: Woman Sexually Abuses Teenage Boy -- What Say You? - 1/9/2015 6:18:33 PM

AAkasha

Posts: 4429
Joined: 11/27/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

quote:

A woman with interest in a child most likely has some nefarious urges and desires that she's roping him into, and a boy of 15 doesn't have the world wisdom to take it all with perspective.

The standard theme is that she wants to 'teach' him. At least, that's the theme I've most often seen portrayed in books and films where an older woman and a youth (shall we call him) get together sexually. Do you think that's unlikely in this case - and unrealistic in general?

Teach an 18 year old. Or there are plenty of 20-something virgins to teach. An older woman, seductive and attractive, can find a man who is inexperienced to seduce -- she must have wanted a child for some reason. She knew it was wrong. She was willing to risk *breaking the law* and being labeled a sex offender by not picking an 18 year old - hell, and 18 year old that had the maturity of a younger man. Still, she wanted to go for the 15 year old. This strikes me as willing to take extreme risks to pursue, cultivate, seduce a child -- not cool.

The fact that she was so compelled, to me, signifies some sort of mental disorder or compulsion due to the risks, and the availability of alternatives -- roleplay with a pretend virgin, find a fresh 18 year old.

I pursued a 17 year old once. Long time ago. By pursued I mean just had non sexual conversations but he knew what I was into and wanted kink bad. I said nope, no way. I waited 9 months. nine long months. When he turned 18 I flew out to meet him. As much as it was sexy and hot to take this bdsm virgin (we did not have sex, just did S&M) there was no way my urges were going to put both of us at risk. That said, he was CLEARLY mature enough at 17 to handle it -- super bright, genius, very mature, emotionally stable, a VERY solid young man -- but it was illegal, and there was no way I would skirt the law to get my jollies. To take that risk, to me, seems like the motivation is not good.

Akasha

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Post #: 78

RE: Woman Sexually Abuses Teenage Boy -- What Say You? - 1/9/2015 6:27:24 PM

LiveSpark

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Joined: 12/25/2014
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FR

You know I wonder how much of this is ego. Knowing they can "get" a teenager. That they are still so attractive that a teenager will have sex with them. So maybe they themselves aren't aging.

_____________________________

I've been here as MontrealPhoenix, zephyr and
TheFireWithinMe.

I also have the sarcasm gene which is NOT to be taken seriously.

If you fall I'll always be there to catch you ~ Floor

(in reply to AAkasha)

Post #: 79

RE: Woman Sexually Abuses Teenage Boy -- What Say You? - 1/9/2015 7:01:23 PM

littleladybug

Posts: 1082
Joined: 5/30/2013
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LiveSpark

FR

You know I wonder how much of this is ego. Knowing they can "get" a teenager. That they are still so attractive that a teenager will have sex with them. So maybe they themselves aren't aging.

Yup, no "hard numbers"-- but, from my experience, the answer is yes.

(in reply to LiveSpark)

Post #: 80

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