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GoddessManko -> RE: The Anti-Anything Crowd (2/19/2015 4:37:23 AM)
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This was a really good discussion and sorry I missed it in my absence. Here is my personal take.
Before coming to CS I was very much anti pro-Domme myself. I honestly did have the impression these were women turning the lifestyle into a quick buck and the finDommes confused me even further. After speaking with several "subs", I realized many of them were kinksters who didn't understand the actual act of "submission" itself,meaning to relinquish power. I felt that this was due to an external factor, ie proDomme, but no, this is entirely internal with submissive men.
There are some things the M/f dynamic cannot understand on the F/m dynamic because everything changes based on gender alone. You might think I don't know what I'm talking about but I can tell you definitively that submissive men find a way to satiate their desire for service through other ways female friends, an ex, their children or their job. Many of them are not willing to commit to something outside the "status quo" or norm unless they find someone they can truly devote themselves to and even then, they can be dodgey. This leads to a high occurrence of sub frenzy on the male sub side and if you have ever encountered frenzy, it's not pretty. The FinDommes and ProDommes are yes, in my view, doing a service not only to these men who like to keep their lives compartmentalized for the sake of their children/family/professional life but also to the community.
Are sub men truly getting a realistic view of a "relationship", no. But you can bet your ass they are getting the leather clad Barbarella of their dreams. And for some, it's just easier/better that way.
Honestly having an opinion on what other people do (especially when it's safe/sane/consensual) is forcing my opinions and beliefs down someone else's throat. Who decides what is right or wrong except the people within the dynamic? If they're happy then why insert yourself to it? And even further, into a dynamic that might be out of your scope?
I feel that a lot of sub men need to do some soul searching because the fact that they point fingers where it is blatantly obvious where the problem lies is the epitome of irony itself.
I also want to add that if there is deception there is usually reason for it, and some are very good at hiding secrets for years and years. Like Exiled said, you cannot blame the pro for merely doing her job.
Also by absolving sub men of blame like so many of you are eager to do, you are perpetuating what is already a problem on the F/m side, and often without you realizing the psychology behind it.
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