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Safe word <3 - 2/21/2015 11:19:15 PM   
InkedupKitty


Posts: 10
Joined: 2/21/2015
Status: offline 		Does anyone else not have a safe word? And why?
And if you do, what's yours?
If I can get my hands to him I just tap a few times.
Other than that he seems to know if/when to stop.

Really should consider one, I'm still only playing around with light stuff <3
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Safe word <3 - 2/21/2015 11:21:33 PM   
shiftyw


Posts: 2837
Joined: 6/6/2013
From: The Shire
Status: offline 		I have PTSD- a safe word for me, is a must.

A lot of folks around here don't have one.

I hum- anything. Because why would I be humming during play? And It works with something in my mouth.

(in reply to InkedupKitty)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Safe word <3 - 2/21/2015 11:35:33 PM   
InkedupKitty


Posts: 10
Joined: 2/21/2015
Status: offline 		I never thought of humming! That's a good one x

(in reply to shiftyw)
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RE: Safe word <3 - 2/22/2015 12:01:20 AM   
DaddySatyr


Posts: 9381
Joined: 8/29/2011
From: Pittston, Pennsyltucky
Status: offline
My ladies get this word: Taumatawhakatangihangakoauauotamateapokaiwhenuakitanatahu (and a sincere wish for luck)



Michael

_____________________________

A Stone in My Shoe

Screen captures (and pissing on shadows) still RULE! Ya feel me?

"For that which I love, I will do horrible things"

(in reply to InkedupKitty)
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RE: Safe word <3 - 2/22/2015 5:11:18 AM   
GotSteel


Posts: 5871
Joined: 2/19/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: InkedupKitty
Does anyone else not have a safe word? And why?
And if you do, what's yours?
If I can get my hands to him I just tap a few times.
Other than that he seems to know if/when to stop.

Really should consider one, I'm still only playing around with light stuff <3


We don't have a safe word, a lot of people don't. You don't need one unless your the sort of person who says stop when you really mean harder. The rest of us can just communicate like normal, even when gagged she can still shake her head "no".

(in reply to InkedupKitty)
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RE: Safe word <3 - 2/22/2015 5:14:36 AM   
kallisto


Posts: 1185
Status: offline 		Have never had one. And have always been able to communicate even when gagged.

I think it's a personal choice - you do what works for you.

(in reply to GotSteel)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Safe word <3 - 2/22/2015 5:16:30 AM   
InHisHeart


Posts: 630
Joined: 3/22/2014
Status: offline 		Yes we do, I also have PTSD and I have asthma. I haven't had to use a safe word for play being too extreme and he can tell by my reactions before I need to safe word him if it's beyond what I can handle safely but it's there if I need it .

I've had to use my safe word a few times due to an asthma attack coming on and in the past a few times due to a flashback coming on or my mind starting to wander of in the wrong direction due to PTSD.



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(in reply to InkedupKitty)
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RE: Safe word <3 - 2/22/2015 5:21:53 AM   
Kittenluv954


Posts: 237
Joined: 3/18/2014
Status: offline 		im confused. is this the same guy you asked in a post yesterday how to introduce him to cuffs, and general non vanilla activities? in that post you are asking how to ask him to tie you up and such without scaring him.... and in this one, you're way past that and onto safe words which he apparently already doesnt need. i think im missing something here.

(in reply to InkedupKitty)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Safe word <3 - 2/22/2015 8:23:17 AM   
Koby23


Posts: 4
Joined: 1/25/2015
Status: offline 		I use a simple a simple green - go ahead , amber - slow down, red - stop !!!. But observing someones body language such as grimaces is a good indicator - also looking at the area your playing with, that usually tells you when to stop.

(in reply to Kittenluv954)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Safe word <3 - 2/22/2015 8:41:29 AM   
SeekingTrinity


Posts: 1834
Joined: 5/29/2012
From: The 'burbs of Portland, OR
Status: offline 		~FRing it~

We do not use safe words with each other by personal choice on both our parts. But we have been together for three years now, so we feel we know each other pretty well by now to know how far we can go.



< Message edited by SeekingTrinity -- 2/22/2015 8:42:10 AM >

(in reply to Koby23)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Safe word <3 - 2/22/2015 9:01:51 AM   
GotSteel


Posts: 5871
Joined: 2/19/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kallisto
I think it's a personal choice - you do what works for you.


Well, there are some roleplays such as rapeplay and assorted "forced" acts that are incompatible with normal communication where having a signal for "now I'm serious about no stop don't" can help but for the rest of us I don't think safewords would add anything to communication.


(in reply to kallisto)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Safe word <3 - 2/22/2015 9:04:56 AM   
shiftyw


Posts: 2837
Joined: 6/6/2013
From: The Shire
Status: offline 		That's pretty presumptuous GS. We don't do rape play here. We've chosen to use a safeword because it isn't always clear I'm in distress or about to disassociate.
ETA- even after five years together.

< Message edited by shiftyw -- 2/22/2015 9:05:43 AM >

(in reply to GotSteel)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Safe word <3 - 2/22/2015 9:11:35 AM   
RockaRolla


Posts: 1153
Joined: 1/20/2014
From: South Florida
Status: offline 		"Stop" is sufficient when I play or have sex. I've never had a use for safewords.

It's not a necessity, and you don't "need" one unless you and your partner decide to use it.

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~Roxie

(in reply to InkedupKitty)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Safe word <3 - 2/22/2015 9:37:39 AM   
searching4mysir


Posts: 2757
Joined: 6/16/2011
Status: offline 		Master and I are more about control than impact play (light spankings with hand or crop) and even bondage (I'm a wuss and no pain slut). We haven't found a need for a safe word as he doesn't gag me and I only say no or stop when I mean it.

I can understand others needs, particularly since they probably play harder than we do. If we ever wanted to incorporate a rape fantasy, then we would use a safe word.

< Message edited by searching4mysir -- 2/22/2015 9:38:20 AM >

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No longer searching -- found my one and only right here on CM


(in reply to RockaRolla)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Safe word <3 - 2/22/2015 10:07:48 AM   
satanscharmer


Posts: 376
Status: offline 		We don't use a safe word. We know each other really well, each other's body language and limits, and are comfortable to proceed without one.

P.s. Your avatar pic is adorable!

(in reply to InkedupKitty)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Safe word <3 - 2/22/2015 10:24:20 AM   
ExiledTyrant


Posts: 4547
Joined: 12/9/2013
From: Exiled
Status: offline 		I don't use a safe word. She's 5'3" and weighs a buck 20 soaking wet... when/if I ever need a safe word, I'll just pull up my manhood from bottom to top and scream like a little girl, "I'm calling the cops!"

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To lead, first follow: Aurelius, Epictetus, Descartes, Sun Tzu, to name a few.

Semper fidelis (which sometimes feels like a burden)

(in reply to satanscharmer)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Safe word <3 - 2/22/2015 11:40:16 AM   
GotSteel


Posts: 5871
Joined: 2/19/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: shiftyw
That's pretty presumptuous GS. We don't do rape play here. We've chosen to use a safeword because it isn't always clear I'm in distress or about to disassociate.
ETA- even after five years together.


I'm not saying rapeplay is the only example just that it's a very obvious one where I'd expect everyone to get why there'd need to be some way of expressing whether one is or isn't in character.

As for your dynamic I'm curious what utility would saying "Taumatawhakatangihangakoauauotamateapokaiwhenuakitanatahu" get you that saying "stop" would not?

(in reply to shiftyw)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Safe word <3 - 2/22/2015 12:11:42 PM   
vivaciousgrace


Posts: 45
Joined: 12/13/2014
Status: offline 		Yes.
I use the word "Enough"

Because I get off on trying to escape, begging for things to stop.... CNC play, rape play, that kind of thing.

It helps everyone relax better to know that it will be really clear if I ever genuinely need something to stop.

That said, if someone has been playing with me enough to escalate the play to that point, they are generally comfortable enough reading me to know the difference between "turned on pain/distress" and "get the fuck off me for real" and will stop before we get there. So I can't remember the last time I actually used the word. But its there as an option, should I need it.

Exiled Tyrant, you made me giggle :)

(in reply to GotSteel)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Safe word <3 - 2/22/2015 12:15:38 PM   
Gauge


Posts: 5689
Joined: 6/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: vivaciousgrace

Exiled Tyrant, you made me giggle :)


Any time the Tyrant touches his "manhood" it makes us giggle.

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"For there is no folly of the beast of the earth which is not infinitely outdone by the madness of men." Herman Melville - Moby Dick

I'm wearing my chicken suit and humming La Marseillaise.

(in reply to vivaciousgrace)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Safe word <3 - 2/22/2015 5:24:59 PM   
MercTech


Posts: 3706
Joined: 7/4/2006
Status: offline 		Personally, I think you should have a safe word for play even if you don't NEED one. A word for emergencies. A signal for an emergency such as using a dog training clicker in the hand of a bound and gagged participant. Weird shit happens and a signal to "stop the scene shit ain't right" can be needed when least expected.

(in reply to Gauge)
Profile   Post #: 20
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