quote:

ORIGINAL: ChrchofDrk

Honestly, in my opinion, she just sounds like a spoiled child who's used to getting her way. She wants to set the rules and that's not the way it works. Too bad on her. Attend the bigger event. Don't attend her little events. Nor have anything at all to do with her for awhile. If that hurts her precious one feeling, too fuckin bad. So long and good riddance. My tolerance level for people like this is very low

quote:

ORIGINAL: petitespot

My experience is that they're just filled with drama and one upmanship.

quote:

ORIGINAL: ChrchofDrk

.... and she wins by being the bitch she obviously is ... a) women gossip. Men do too but women invented it .. b) you have no balls do you OP. Did the bitch take them? ... It's a rhetorical question

quote:

ORIGINAL: SockySockSock

Update on the situation:

After almost 2 weeks of no contact, I sent her a mail explaining that I had reasons to go to the event that have nothing to do with her, but if she really wanted me to, I would not cancel attending to give her space. I wanted to see what her reaction would be, and whether she would have calmed down.

During this time, I had contacted one of the other event performers (we'll call her A) to cancel a (very small part) that I was due to play in her act, and that I might not go to the event because my ex was insisting that I don't go. Apart from this I didn't go into any details about our split.

She replied with a huge message saying things like "Why do I have to always think about your schedule and feelings? It is me that is angry, so until I contact you I want you to f!@k off. You got A involved in our private matter that has nothing to do with her. I'm angry that you told her we had an argument. Don't come! I was going to contact you the day before the event. I'm sad that you couldn't wait."

Each of the above things are repeated many times. I was going to paste it in here (edited for privacy) but it is just too long. Pasting it into Word, the entire message takes up a page (in 12 point font, no spacing between lines).

So far I haven't had the energy to reply. Until she says sorry, I don't want anything to do with her. I won't go to the event, because I worry that she start fighting with me in front of everyone.

So far I have not told anyone except A, and only because I had arranged something with her and didn't want to stand her up. But now I am considering telling everyone that she doesn't want me to come.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Gauge

quote:

ORIGINAL: SockySockSock

Update on the situation:

After almost 2 weeks of no contact, I sent her a mail explaining that I had reasons to go to the event that have nothing to do with her, but if she really wanted me to, I would not cancel attending to give her space. I wanted to see what her reaction would be, and whether she would have calmed down.

During this time, I had contacted one of the other event performers (we'll call her A) to cancel a (very small part) that I was due to play in her act, and that I might not go to the event because my ex was insisting that I don't go. Apart from this I didn't go into any details about our split.

She replied with a huge message saying things like "Why do I have to always think about your schedule and feelings? It is me that is angry, so until I contact you I want you to f!@k off. You got A involved in our private matter that has nothing to do with her. I'm angry that you told her we had an argument. Don't come! I was going to contact you the day before the event. I'm sad that you couldn't wait."

Each of the above things are repeated many times. I was going to paste it in here (edited for privacy) but it is just too long. Pasting it into Word, the entire message takes up a page (in 12 point font, no spacing between lines).

So far I haven't had the energy to reply. Until she says sorry, I don't want anything to do with her. I won't go to the event, because I worry that she start fighting with me in front of everyone.

So far I have not told anyone except A, and only because I had arranged something with her and didn't want to stand her up. But now I am considering telling everyone that she doesn't want me to come.

Had you just shut your mouth and gone about your business nothing would have changed. She controls your life now? Good luck with that.

When my miniature adults were growing up, my ex-wife didn't like when I attended any function they were involved in. She walked up to me one time and told me to leave, that I made her uncomfortable. I told her to get over herself and that luckily I wasn't there to see her, but to see my kids. I told her that if she was there with the same motives, everything would be fine, but if she allowed me to ruin the experience for her, that was up to her and not me because she had no right to banish me from attending. She got angrier than a badger with its nuts in a vice, but I went and sat down and ignored her and she stood there stewing in her own juice.

Point being is that you gave her control. You gave her the power. What happens after this is on you. In my experience, bad decisions tend to spawn more bad decisions.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Wayward5oul

OK OP, I was initially sympathetic to your cause. But now it just looks flaky to me all around.
---
You overplayed your hand, dude. Anything that happens now is all on you.

quote:

ORIGINAL: dreamlady

quote:

ORIGINAL: Wayward5oul

OK OP, I was initially sympathetic to your cause. But now it just looks flaky to me all around.
---
You overplayed your hand, dude. Anything that happens now is all on you.

I think so, too. I'm starting to get the feeling that OP has wishful thinking that his ex-play partner was getting attached to him. She may have taken him under her wing, or they were mutually using one another as FWBs, but this isn't about his caring for her feelings or wanting to respect her wishes.

What I'm sensing is anxiety on his part that he doesn't belong at this event, that he has become persona non grata. Just like he is putting her personal business out there to a bunch of Internet strangers, he may have run his mouth to others about her personal business and it got back to her. Or else he's doing what he's been doing here -- making it seem as though he's the one who dumped her. She essentially banned him, which I'm not saying she has any right to do, but I'm beginning to see this as a warning that he should stay away from her until she cools off in order to avoid an ugly scene.

Just speculating. . .

DreamLady

quote:

ORIGINAL: DaddySatyr

You're well on the path to allowing this person to control your life with no benefit to you (unless you believe she's got your best interests, at heart?).

quote:

ORIGINAL: Wayward5oul

OK OP, I was initially sympathetic to your cause. But now it just looks flaky to me all around.

You had made a commitment to someone else at that event, which you conveniently left out of your initial posts. You mentioned that you had promised to others that you would attend, but you never said anything about having a performance commitment yourself.

So basically you dropped the ball.

And knowing already that she didn't want you to attend, you then emailed her and basically told her 'I really really want to go, but if you still don't want me to I won't'.

And there went your other ball.

Then going to the person whom you made a commitment to, and flaking out on her with the excuse that 'so and so doesn't want me to' was just childish and passive aggressive. There is no way that you did not know that was going to stir the pot.

You overplayed your hand, dude. Anything that happens now is all on you.

quote:

ORIGINAL: dreamlady

quote:

ORIGINAL: Wayward5oul

OK OP, I was initially sympathetic to your cause. But now it just looks flaky to me all around.
---
You overplayed your hand, dude. Anything that happens now is all on you.

I think so, too. I'm starting to get the feeling that OP has wishful thinking that his ex-play partner was getting attached to him. She may have taken him under her wing, or they were mutually using one another as FWBs, but this isn't about his caring for her feelings or wanting to respect her wishes.

What I'm sensing is anxiety on his part that he doesn't belong at this event, that he has become persona non grata. Just like he is putting her personal business out there to a bunch of Internet strangers, he may have run his mouth to others about her personal business and it got back to her. Or else he's doing what he's been doing here -- making it seem as though he's the one who dumped her. She essentially banned him, which I'm not saying she has any right to do, but I'm beginning to see this as a warning that he should stay away from her until she cools off in order to avoid an ugly scene.

Just speculating. . .

DreamLady

quote:

ORIGINAL: SockySockSock

I have not "run my mouth" to anyone about our personal business. Whenever anyone in the scene asks me, I have merely said that we have split up and she doesn't want me to come to her events or the big event (as these affect other people). I have not said anything else.

And how did I make it seem like it was me who dumped her? It was a mutual thing, we both wanted out.

quote:

ORIGINAL: SockySockSock

But now I am considering telling everyone that she doesn't want me to come.