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GoddessManko -> RE: m f comparisions (3/12/2015 6:27:09 PM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: dreamlady
A comment to the side, whether guidelines permit importing a (partial) post made on another thread to start a new thread. (?) I can see importing a post by an already participating poster, not compelling somebody to be put on the defensive, non-consensually. I mention this because that other thread deals with the premise of consent from the starting gate.
If you are sincere about having an honest and open discussion about this matter in a non-adversarial manner, I would like to give my point of view, obviously from my own perspective as a straight female switch. It is not subject to debate.
The differences I see between submissive males and females have less to do with D/s orientation and more to do with other orientations.
I'll try to make this simple, and therefore limited in scope by necessity.
Taking D/s orientation out it for a moment, here's a brief general comparison.
Males segue onto a kink site like this more from having watched porn and surfing (FemDom) porn sites where they tend to project their fantasy image of the type of kinky woman they imagine they want and how she should stereotypically act.
This isn't to say that females haven't been influenced by porn and/or erotica also or don't have their own fantasy Master image in mind, or an unrealistic concept of how they themselves should behave, playact or roleplay.
As DesFIP noted, more males are prone to be fetishists and have tunnel vision about hoping to get their needs met. I see fetishists as a subset of the do-me male sub who reverses the active/receptive polarity into you-must-have-me-do-these-things-to-you, as fetish objectification. The object of their fetish desires is still getting sexually objectified.
I don't see females doing as much fetish-objectifying, which isn't to say that they aren't similarly motivated, but with much less of a one-track mind.
Males will also tend to seek out sexual or sexually-charged encounters and instant physical intimacy, and be less selective and discriminating in who Tops or bottoms for them, as long as it's the preferred gender.
Females tend to be more relationship-oriented in wanting emotional intimacy (even with forging enduring friendships), are more selective and discriminating in choice of play partner and/or in making a relationship commitment.
Both can be seeking casual play, but a male does not screen for experience, technique, and individual character attributes as much as a female does. I've noticed that female subs are drawn to more experienced, seemingly trustworthy Masters or Mistresses by whom they are not (yet) owned or if seeking to become collared.
For example, a female spankee will want an experienced spanking Top. A masochistic female will want to play with a reputable sadist at events, where she can feel safer in a group setting.
A (straight, but could also be bi) male spankee, on the other hand IME, doesn't care who wails away on his bare bottom as long as he is minimally attracted, or as long as the person willing to OTK spank him, or leather-strap spank him against the wall or while bent over bound to a spanking block, appears to be a woman doing it. In fact, male subs act as if they are willing to consider bottoming for any female who will do CFNM with them, where they get to strip down naked (so they can feel sexually objectified).
Most Doms and male switches who contact me aren't looking for a relationship -- they want kinky sex with a female who can Top them.
(I don't get contacted by females about this, so no data to report there.)
In a nutshell, when talking about submission, I don't see nearly as many service-oriented males as there are service-oriented females who profess to want an owner, when it comes to a non-sexual/non-fetishy capacity.
True. Same as why there is so much porn of women masturbating geared for men and porn of men masturbating...also geared for men. I could post a link about subjectification vs objectification of genders but I hardly think it would matter to any of these people, LOL.
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