gillybean
Posts: 1941
Joined: 7/7/2005
Status: offline
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Same old story from me too i'm afraid.
I try and respond to all mail, but it does get so tiring and tedious after a while and distracts me from the people i am actually interested in corresponding with when i take the time to respond to the (many) emails i get daily and at some point i have to say enough is enough and not respond to mail that simply isn't worthy of a response. I do try and respond to everyone who makes an effort and has obviously read my profile though, but it may not be the second i actually read the message or even the same day.
People slam me when i say i'm not looking for friendship and why can't i make time to chat just as friends... Well because i would do nothing but chat to people i have no actual interest in and not have any time for a life or to talk to people i might actually have a connection with and not just as friends.
I tried the auto response and got slammed at for using that too. And like others have said i too have heard many times that i responded which means i must be interested!, even though i clearly said i wasn't and usually give reasons to show why we're incompatible. I'm not playing a game here when i say no thanks it means that. And again i give up bothering to say even that because i know it will be several more messages and probably blocking the person that they finally get the message. Oh and then expect the second profile from the person to pop up to get around the block to say how disrespectful i am blah blah...
Speaking for myself i get very frustrated at the messages i get too you know. Why should i put in all the effort and work just because i fall into the sub catagory. I am not your sub nor do i feel an overwhelming need to bow and scrape to any old person who calls themselves a Dom. You need to show you are worthy of my respect and you are genuinly interested and interesting yourself and compatible to some degree with me. If you demand a response or expect one just because you are call yourself Dom you are goign to be disappointed.
I find most messages i get fall into one of the following and don't warrant a response as a result:
1. Nice picture (yes, shame you didn't bother to look any further and actually read my profile)
2. I read your profile and am interested in you. (Oh? why exactly are you interested and why would i be interested in you?)
3. Tell me more about yourself (Why? You have told me nothing about yourself)
4. I'll write properly when you reply so i know you're genuine (I know i'm genuine and why should i believe you are when you can't be bothered to even introduce yourself properly)
5. How was your day? (why do you want to know? I don't go around telling complete strangers how my day was and i'm pretty sure you don't actually want to know so why ask?)
6. I'm sending you my standard message, mostly cut from my profile (so tell me something new that i can't already read for myself which shows you made some effort)
7. Read my profile and mail me if you're interested (well i read it and it said nothing much about you, so i'm none the wiser as to why i would be interested in you)
8. Here's a lot of info about me, we are completely incompatible, but i didn't bother reading your profile so i don't know that or i did and i'm just completely desperate (Read my profile and you'll see it wasn't worth you writing to me in the first place)
9. I'm in another country, way out of your age range being either 15+ years more or less than you, married, or actually a sub looking for a mistress (So you're not what i'm looking for then...)
10. You replied to my last message so you must be interested (No i'm not, and please don't force me to be rude and spell out exactly why i'm not)
11. I can't be bothered to write you a decent message because you probably won't respond anyhow and i'm fed up with the timewaster and players on here (well what do you expect if you send out messages like that!)
12. Do you have messenger or yahoo. (Yes but i'm not going there till you show me you're interesting and i see some point in doing so because i'm interested in you and getting to know you better)
13. Want to meet for dinner next week? (Does me being sub mean you think i'm completely stupid and insane and have no thought to my personal safety?)
14. Hello, how are you today? (You sent me that very same message yesterday and twice last week and i told you i wasn't interested then so why would i be today?)
15. Boring one paragraph which tells me not a lot but asks me to mail back if interested (Not another one of these, i've seen several just like it today already, completely forgetable and extremely hard work to find anything to respond to and i'm not in the mood to reply to another one just now so unfortunetly you don't get a reply though you're probably a very nice guy)
16. If you're genuine you'll reply to this message (urm, how did you work that one out? And now i'm wondering how genuine you are...)
I could go on but i'm sure you get the general idea. And i haven't even mentioned the rude, crude and downright offensive messages which simply get put straight on my blocked list and deleted.
In amongst all these 'i really shouldn't bother spending the time responding to them and at some point i will finally stop doing it' messages there is usually a message or two that is actually worth replying too and on the odd occassion someone i am interested in and a dialogue starts. By the time i make the effort and respond properly to those who deserve it i haven't got time to reply to all the might have been worth replying to but didn't make any impact so now i'll never know...
But anyhow!
I haven't had an email message from the OP so i do not know what kind of messages he sends by way of introducing himself. I have looked at his profile though and i am in agreement with those who say it could use work. I suggest he provide more detail and give more of an insight into what he seeks and who he is. Perhaps he puts all that in his message of introduction though... But if his message is as sparse as his profile that would probably explain a lack of replies imo. And if his messages fall into any of the catagories listed above then, for me, that would explain why he get's none or little response.
As to people not even reading his mail. I had to turn off the thing that notifies me every time i get a mesage on here because i was being spammed to death, i'm sure i'm not the only one. So don't expect someone to know you sent them mail or to rush to read their mail when/if they log on after you send it. And don't expect a response if your mail hasn't even been read!
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RE: Disappearing subs...want-to-be's? - 
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