slvemike4u
Posts: 17896
Joined: 1/15/2008
From: United States
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ORIGINAL: CreativeDominant
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ORIGINAL: slvemike4u
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ORIGINAL: MistressRage
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ORIGINAL: slvemike4u
Or .and this seems like a better idea(and one not dripping with sarcasm) she could have done a better job raising him in the first place.
This is a somewhat myopic view on parenting. One can raise their kids as well as it can be done, and the adolescent can still choose to go out and be a shit head. This is especially true if his environment (school, neighborhood) has peers who engage in this sort of troublemaking. Teens make dumb decisions; their prefrontal cortex (responsible for things like decision making and weighing consequences) won't be done developing for several more years.
Well that's not my experience now is it.
Part of what I considered my job,as a parent,was making sure my son's environment was safe and conducive to his success .
If that is "myopic" than so be it.When I speak of parenting I have only two first hand examples to go by.
The horror story that was my own.....and the one I chose ,and worked for,with my son.
I'm really not understanding the pushback I'm getting here,due to my own unbringing I am strongly against striking a child in any way shape or form.....given all of that I still said,in my first post,that I was unable to fault this mother in any way at all....due to the consequences of the situation.
I than went on in a follow up post( in response to what I saw as a circle jerk celebrating her hitting her son "upside the head" ) and asserted that there just might be a better alternative than one in which one finds themselves needing to hit a child upside their head....and I'm getting flak over that statement ?
I am a child of abuse,no one,nowhere will ever convince me that striking a child is a good idea....I was hit far too often for that to resonate .
With all that said I never criticized this mother in this instance.....I just asserted there is indeed a better way.Maybe that better way wasn't open to her,maybe she was overwhelmed by being a single parent unable to move her son to a better environment....all that said though simply drives home my point,given better circumstances there is a better way ;-)
You folks disagree with that all you want,my son is all the example I need to show me I was right in my view for my chold.
Myopic,maybe,but it worked for me.
I think that what a lot of people see as myopic is your view that your way is not just the better way for you and yours but for everyone else as well.
I don't advocate child abuse as a way of raising a child...And if that's how you were raised, I truly feel sorry for you and I admire your effort to break that pattern with your own.
But...just because your way worked well with your child, it does not automatically follow that it does in every other instance of child-rearing. Nor does the way of spanking...Or as Lucy called it when describing it with her kids, swatting. The difference is, I don't advocate fofoeveryone to strictly follow my way. Follow your own way...if your child grows up right, then you did it right. If your child grows up to be a disrespectful, entitled little punk, then you might want to look back on what you possibly contributed to that.
Never said it was.....all of my statements about hitting a child begin and end with "In my view"
Are you telling me I don't have a right to my view ?
I never thought I had the power to make my view the law of the land
In my view I always.always feared that if I hit my son once,even just a swat,as Lucy called it,I just might hit him twice the second time around......and that I than could be off to the races justifying my actions by telling myself it worked for me when I was growing up or some such nonsense.
I feel that hitting a child is wrong...it's a result of my upbringing....I speak out against hitting children,I cringe at the thought of a child being hit.Perhaps if your head bounced across as many rooms and walls as mine did you would agree with me.
I felt I left my childhood house with a disease....and that it was my job to make sure my son didn't leave his with the same one.
Mission accomplished......if I sometimes,or even always,sound like I am moralizing on this subject understand that I was on the wrong end of it....and know the helpless feeling of a child as his life is made a living hell.
If my views have offended any,I apologize,but again....my views were hard earned.
Years ago a poster,in a bit of snark asked me"just who hurt me as a kid".The poster in question was just looking for a cheap laugh over political differences( something I am all too guilty of)...but the answer in my case was my sonofabitch father.
For me making sure my son could laugh such a question off was job number one,job number two was that he never think of me as a sonofabitch.
Those jobs needed to be accomplished while making sure he turned out as a good young man,independent and ready to walk off into the world .....again anyone insulted by my advocacy has my apologies.
It's been pointed out to me that I am way to snarky around here,I'm going to work on that.
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If we want things to stay as they are,things will have to change...Tancredi from "the Leopard"
Forget Guns-----Ban the pools
Funny stuff....https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eNwFf991d-4
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