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RE: Male:Female ratio on collarspace - 8/24/2015 7:52:14 AM   
Thegunnysez


Posts: 741
Joined: 8/17/2015
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quote:

I'm sure *some* women want sex as much as most men do - but - women, in general, don't have a clue what it's like to be horny every second of every day of your life, and then to have women parading around wearing almost nothing most of the time just making the whole thing worse.



Where do you live...I love eye candy

quote:

You have absolutely no idea what it's like to be horny like a guy is horny. At least not a Mediterranean guy.


Can you explain why you feel Mediterranean guys are any more or less horny than guys from say Peru or Samoa?

quote:

I think we'd need to look up studies to find the actual amounts of testosterone and estrogen (it's probably way complicated by a lot of factors); but again, there's no way that the average woman, at her highest of highest of hormonal fluxes is anywhere near as horny as the average guy at his lowest of lows.


I would like to volunteer for any such studies.



quote:

Again, I speak mostly from my own experience



Perhaps you don't get out as much as you should?

(in reply to crumpets)
Profile   Post #: 61
RE: Male:Female ratio on collarspace - 8/24/2015 9:26:44 AM   
cloverodella


Posts: 133
Joined: 8/8/2013
Status: offline 		I was going to go point by point, but I don't see why I should. There was nothing "personal" in my post -- I was speaking in generalities about a particular type of man/men, as indicated by the last line of the post. That said, now I am talking to you because your entire interpretation of my words is incorrect. You were replying to your own ideas, not my words (ie: "paraphrasing" my sentence by means of half including your own words and ideas I never mentioned).

quote:

ORIGINAL: cloverodella

It never occurs to him/them that we just don't want him/them in particular because they are a man who has nothing to offer.

I will explain what I meant by imagining a fictional man named 'Joe', thus: "It never occurs to Joe that women just don't want him, Joe, as a specific person in particular because Joe is a man who has nothing to offer". I'm not implying that women want Joe to pay them in money and presents, but saying that Joe may not be a person worth spending time with. Perhaps Joe has never considered he may: be boring; be a selfish lay; have bad breath; demean women; only hits on women out of his league; tells bad jokes; is stupid; does not have a grounded understanding of what being a good, fulfilling sexual partner is; etc. Instead of Joe looking at himself and improving himself to become worthy of another’s time and company, Joe decides that ALL women are less horny than men are.

I never said anything about how many people a horny person of either gender desires. That isn’t even a concept that makes sense. Being monogamous vs. polyamorous is about a desired type of relationship, not base level of sexual desire. And really, a willingness to fuck whoever consents is perfectly fine! Just cop to it and stop blaming an entire gender’s sexuality, with which you have no experience in being, when no one takes the bait.

quote:

ORIGINAL: crumpets
Anyway, I see you have agreed that women are sluts (figuratively speaking) because they want MORE than just sex, while the men, well, many of them anyway, could be forced to have sex every day with a different woman, and they'd still be happy to do so.

For the record: I DO NOT AGREE WITH ANYTHING YOU SAID. I do not believe there’s anything wrong with being a slut, nor do I believe that either gender is sluttier than the other. I also believe that men forced to have sex is rape, period, full stop. (how those 2 ideas are related is lost on me)

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Profile   Post #: 62
RE: Male:Female ratio on collarspace - 8/24/2015 12:59:32 PM   
NookieNotes


Posts: 1720
Joined: 11/10/2013
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quote:

ORIGINAL: UllrsIshtar

quote:

ORIGINAL: NookieNotes

NO ONE yet has agreed to your supposition.



I do.


Cool. But he wasn't quoting you, and you hadn't said that, that I see. What he was doing was quoting someone else, and trying to twist the words.

*smiles*

We'll count you as 1. Join the fray! LOL!

quote:

I think he's doing a poor job phrasing it and don't really have an interest in getting into this debate,


Awww.

quote:

but I totally agree that the way sexdrive manifests in men vs women is very different. I'm not necisarily convinced that it's a matter of wanting sex less or more rather one of wanting sex differently.


Oh, I agree that it manifests differently. I've said that all along. But that's not what he's arguing, you know.

quote:

Sexdrive in men is of a more obsessive, compulsive, intrusive nature than it is in women. Men can get overwhelmed by the need, urgency, and obsession to get off so that they're pretty much useless for anything else until they have on a fairly consistent basis. Women can get to this state too, but it usually gets a lot of work and a skilled man who knows how to push her buttons to get her there.

That's not to say that frequency of wanting sex is any different. It's just a matter that women seem more capable of managing that desire, and to hold off, or to take care of themselves if it suits them better, while for men the drive is compulsive and obsessive, often if very negative ways.


I'll buy that.

quote:

I think the difference between both y'all positions is as simple as:
He's thinking... women are not as obsessed with sex as men are on a daily basis, they also have standards and they'll turn sex down if it doesn't meet those standards, unlike men would = less sex drive.
You're thinking... despite not being obsessed with sex I want it a lot, with the same frequency as men do as long as it meets my standardsd, but whether I have it that often or not I want just as often as men do = same sex drive.


Yup.

quote:

The issue is that one of you thinks that 'having standards and only having sex when it meets those standards' is a sign of a low sex drive, the other one thinks it's irrelevant and it's the desire that counts. If y'all are going to keep arguing, you should start by finding a mutual definition for 'sex drive' right now you're using the concept in different ways.


Why bother? He has yet to show any desire to see another person's POV, with anyone, and in fact, does his best to change others' words to meet his needs.

And I'm enjoying myself.

*smiles*

quote:

ORIGINAL: Thegunnysez

quote:

In general, men are the sluts (they do it for the sex); women are the whores (they do it for personal gain).


That would seem to be counter-intuitive. Since we find that of those who have doubts about the paternity of their child some 25-30% turn out not to be the primary partner. In those cases where there are no doubts as to paternity the rate is between 2-3%. Wouldn't this speak directly to the sexuality/horniness factor of women as opposed to more fiscal considerations?


Ooooh! that's a good one! *applauds*

quote:

ORIGINAL: cloverodella

I was going to go point by point, but I don't see why I should. There was nothing "personal" in my post -- I was speaking in generalities about a particular type of man/men, as indicated by the last line of the post. That said, now I am talking to you because your entire interpretation of my words is incorrect. You were replying to your own ideas, not my words (ie: "paraphrasing" my sentence by means of half including your own words and ideas I never mentioned).

quote:

ORIGINAL: cloverodella
quote:

ORIGINAL: crumpets
Anyway, I see you have agreed that women are sluts (figuratively speaking) because they want MORE than just sex, while the men, well, many of them anyway, could be forced to have sex every day with a different woman, and they'd still be happy to do so.

For the record: I DO NOT AGREE WITH ANYTHING YOU SAID. I do not believe there’s anything wrong with being a slut, nor do I believe that either gender is sluttier than the other. I also believe that men forced to have sex is rape, period, full stop. (how those 2 ideas are related is lost on me)



Brilliant reply.


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Profile   Post #: 63
RE: Male:Female ratio on collarspace - 8/24/2015 3:49:58 PM   
crumpets


Posts: 1614
Joined: 11/5/2014
From: South Bay (SF & Silicon Valley)
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: NookieNotes
you would never know. Because we don't need to broadcast it.

This is almost certainly true, that the women underplay their sexual escapades, while the men overplay them, at least to their circle of friends.
quote:

ORIGINAL: NookieNotes
Nobody said ONE man.

Point well taken.
quote:

ORIGINAL: NookieNotes
Based on no science whatsoever.

Based on history.
quote:

ORIGINAL: NookieNotes
You are twisting other people's words to fit your beliefs, instead of accepting them as they are said.

Fair enough.
quote:

ORIGINAL: NookieNotes
And you "think" you're making good points, just as a child "thinks" he's convincing his parents that "his invisible friend did it."

:)
quote:

ORIGINAL: NookieNotes
NO ONE is saying women have sex with men for things other than sex (although it does happen, and with men as well). They are saying that we don't bother having rabbit sex with a 2-minute cum-and-sleeper, when we can get better sex with a our hands and a vibe, and hold out for something worth having.

I have never heard of this 2-minuterabbit sex (although it does sound frenzied), as in my personal experience, sex consists of multiple sequential stages, both building up and letting down, none of which are any shorter than at least a quarter an hour, and most are many times that.
quote:

ORIGINAL: NookieNotes
So, again, your argument is moot.

Sigh. We must disagree. :)
quote:

ORIGINAL: NookieNotes
The argument is who wants sex more.

Actually, I thought this started as a male:female ratio discussion.
quote:

ORIGINAL: NookieNotes
Women and men want (and have) sex in the same amounts, or very near, according to SCIENCE.

This isn't mathematically correct, even though it sounds like it *should* be arithmetically correct - simply because of the exponent involved on only one side of the equation.
quote:

ORIGINAL: NookieNotes
For what reasons does not matter.

That's what "discussions" are about.
quote:

ORIGINAL: NookieNotes
Whether we are more discriminating does not matter.

Then why are you discussing it?
quote:

ORIGINAL: NookieNotes
Whether it's your personal experience does not matter.

It's part of the discussion.
quote:

ORIGINAL: NookieNotes
And it has nothing to do with the ratio of men to women on sites like this, either.

It has everything to do with the REASON for the ratio.

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Profile   Post #: 64
RE: Male:Female ratio on collarspace - 8/24/2015 4:00:26 PM   
crumpets


Posts: 1614
Joined: 11/5/2014
From: South Bay (SF & Silicon Valley)
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: UllrsIshtar
The issue is that one of you thinks that 'having standards and only having sex when it meets those standards' is a sign of a low sex drive, the other one thinks it's irrelevant and it's the desire that counts. If y'all are going to keep arguing, you should start by finding a mutual definition for 'sex drive' right now you're using the concept in different ways.

This is an interesting point, which can skew the discussion in a variety of ways.

If I may paraphrase, you're assuming women and men each have fundamentally the "same" sex drive (however we measure it), yet women can hold back and not exercise their options, while men tend to exercise their options sooner and with less demanding standards (to say the least).

Of course, there are the anomalies, such as women and men with low (or no) sex drive. While being hyposexual is an atypical situation, it would be interesting to see, for example, how the approval of flibanserin affects women's sexual behavior, overall.

To your point, will women on the "Pink Viagra" suddenly behave in a far less hyperfastidious manner when it comes to choosing their sexual escapades? Time will tell.

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Profile   Post #: 65
RE: Male:Female ratio on collarspace - 8/24/2015 4:05:42 PM   
crumpets


Posts: 1614
Joined: 11/5/2014
From: South Bay (SF & Silicon Valley)
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Thegunnysez
Wouldn't this speak directly to the sexuality/horniness factor of women as opposed to more fiscal considerations?


This is a good discussion point that there are probably far more cases of partnered men not realizing the child they raised wasn't actually theirs, versus the number of cases of partnered women suddenly realizing that the kid they thought was theirs wasn't theirs at all.

But, seriously speaking, I do see your point that women do have children without leaving the original man - but the reasons are so complex for anything that women do that we don't have the data whether fiscal considerations apply (for example, how do we know if the husband cuckold makes more money than the bull inseminator)?

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Profile   Post #: 66
RE: Male:Female ratio on collarspace - 8/24/2015 4:17:16 PM   
crumpets


Posts: 1614
Joined: 11/5/2014
From: South Bay (SF & Silicon Valley)
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Thegunnysez
Where do you live...I love eye candy

I think we all love eye candy, so to speak.
I live in northern California, where the weather is basically sunny and comfortable to be in the nude nearly 100 percent of the time.
But, this isn't personal, since I suspect that the thought experiment I noted would work almost anywhere, except in winter (and even then, it would still work indoors).
quote:

ORIGINAL: Thegunnysez
Can you explain why you feel Mediterranean guys are any more or less horny than guys from say Peru or Samoa?

Well, I would consider Peru of hugely Mediterranean descent, in general (given the trifold Spanish influence over the African slaves and original indigenous Mongolian-traced inhabitants).

I'm not sure about Samoa though.

Offhand, without looking up Samoan history, I suspect they're Polynesian, which is, as we all know, fundamentally rooted in Asian islands such as Taiwan. I am unfamiliar with the added influence of the European imperialists during the colonial era; so, I'll have to bow and take a pass on characterizing Samoan genetic roots any further in this discussion (without doing research anyway).
quote:

ORIGINAL: Thegunnysez
I would like to volunteer for any such studies.

Heh heh... you and me both!
quote:

ORIGINAL: Thegunnysez
Perhaps you don't get out as much as you should?

I can never have enough.

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Profile   Post #: 67
RE: Male:Female ratio on collarspace - 8/24/2015 8:12:45 PM   
Thegunnysez


Posts: 741
Joined: 8/17/2015
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quote:

Ooooh! that's a good one! *applauds*


Now, that is what I was talking about...unsolicited "attaboys"

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Profile   Post #: 68
RE: Male:Female ratio on collarspace - 8/24/2015 8:23:08 PM   
UllrsIshtar


Posts: 3693
Joined: 7/28/2012
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quote:

ORIGINAL: crumpets

If I may paraphrase, you're assuming women and men each have fundamentally the "same" sex drive (however we measure it), yet women can hold back and not exercise their options, while men tend to exercise their options sooner and with less demanding standards (to say the least).



Yes.

In ideal circumstances I tend to want sex both more frequently and of longer duration than the men I've been with.
But it tends to takes more variables being met for me to create 'ideal circumstances' (or even good circumstances), and when faced with the choice between bad sex or no sex, I much prefer the 'no sex' option, despite being horny.
In my observation men, on the other hand, will go for bad sex over no sex almost every time.

Edited to add: I think that this preference difference also plays a large role into why women go for casual sex and one night stands less frequently. Women have more effort creating circumstances that make sex good. It usually takes some time to 'break in' a new partner to know our preferences, and thus casual encounters are less worth our time. Especially because men, when driven by the heat of a new partner and the accompanying turn on that provides, usually aren't at their best performance endurance wise.
I used to engage in casual sex, swinging and one night stands quite frequently when younger, but I gave up on the practice because it ends up being an exercise in perpetual disappointment.
If I could be guaranteed at least decent sex from such encounters, I'd probably still do it at a fairly steady rate.


< Message edited by UllrsIshtar -- 8/24/2015 8:30:34 PM >

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And your whore
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Profile   Post #: 69
RE: Male:Female ratio on collarspace - 8/24/2015 9:48:43 PM   
Thegunnysez


Posts: 741
Joined: 8/17/2015
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quote:


In my observation men, on the other hand, will go for bad sex over no sex almost every time.


It may be an age thing.

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Profile   Post #: 70
RE: Male:Female ratio on collarspace - 8/24/2015 9:54:01 PM   
Spiritedsub2


Posts: 3316
Joined: 7/18/2012
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Thegunnysez

quote:


In my observation men, on the other hand, will go for bad sex over no sex almost every time.


It may be an age thing.


Not an age thing; a pizza thing.

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Profile   Post #: 71
RE: Male:Female ratio on collarspace - 8/24/2015 10:26:17 PM   
sexyred1


Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: crumpets


quote:

ORIGINAL: UllrsIshtar
The issue is that one of you thinks that 'having standards and only having sex when it meets those standards' is a sign of a low sex drive, the other one thinks it's irrelevant and it's the desire that counts. If y'all are going to keep arguing, you should start by finding a mutual definition for 'sex drive' right now you're using the concept in different ways.

This is an interesting point, which can skew the discussion in a variety of ways.

If I may paraphrase, you're assuming women and men each have fundamentally the "same" sex drive (however we measure it), yet women can hold back and not exercise their options, while men tend to exercise their options sooner and with less demanding standards (to say the least).

Of course, there are the anomalies, such as women and men with low (or no) sex drive. While being hyposexual is an atypical situation, it would be interesting to see, for example, how the approval of flibanserin affects women's sexual behavior, overall.

To your point, will women on the "Pink Viagra" suddenly behave in a far less hyperfastidious manner when it comes to choosing their sexual escapades? Time will tell.


We don't need a pink pill. We need great sex with men we have a connection with. Yet, oddly, we are discriminating as the above women keep telling you.

The funniest thing you have written (and there are many), is that women can control their horniness while men are "overwhelmed" by theirs.

You poor, miserable creatures. How DO you manage to get things done and rule the world?

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Profile   Post #: 72
RE: Male:Female ratio on collarspace - 8/24/2015 11:53:52 PM   
crumpets


Posts: 1614
Joined: 11/5/2014
From: South Bay (SF & Silicon Valley)
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1
You poor, miserable creatures. How DO you manage to get things done and rule the world?


It's not easy this life of kinky sex and flibanserin drugs and rock and roll.

But we all manage to multitask, somehow.

(in reply to sexyred1)
Profile   Post #: 73
RE: Male:Female ratio on collarspace - 8/25/2015 4:21:25 AM   
Lucylastic


Posts: 40310
Status: offline 		Ive been with my hubby for 30 years, when we discussed the "pink pill" he looked at me in horror...said, "OH fuck NO, you are NOT using that... I want to live till Im 70"
My submissive wasnt too keen either.
I agree with Red..using your horniness to excuse your lack of control, is so old its rusty...thats how a lot of men get into legal problems.
Nobody owes you sex just for being a male with blue balls, however much you want them too.


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Profile   Post #: 74
RE: Male:Female ratio on collarspace - 8/25/2015 4:39:45 AM   
NookieNotes


Posts: 1720
Joined: 11/10/2013
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quote:

ORIGINAL: crumpets
quote:

ORIGINAL: NookieNotes
Based on no science whatsoever.

Based on history.


Your interpretation. Just like you interpreted the ONE man thing.

Did you know that before Victorian times, attitudes were reversed? It was widely known that women had the stronger sex drives. There are jokes about it.

Your "understanding" is simply a result of your culture. Not reality. Just as theirs was.

quote:

ORIGINAL: crumpets
quote:

ORIGINAL: NookieNotes
The argument is who wants sex more.

Actually, I thought this started as a male:female ratio discussion.


Yes, it did. but I'm not debating the ratio, except for the poor execution of the "statistics." I'm debating your assertion that the reason for the ration is because women don't want sex as much as men.

quote:

ORIGINAL: crumpets
quote:

ORIGINAL: NookieNotes
Women and men want (and have) sex in the same amounts, or very near, according to SCIENCE.

This isn't mathematically correct, even though it sounds like it *should* be arithmetically correct - simply because of the exponent involved on only one side of the equation.


Do you have anything besides your opinion to back up your claim?

quote:

ORIGINAL: crumpets
quote:

ORIGINAL: NookieNotes
Whether we are more discriminating does not matter.

Then why are you discussing it?


Because it is a factor in YOUR argument that women want sex less. It is a non-factor in that case, and does not apply. Just because you don't hear about women having sex doesn't mean it doesn't happen.

quote:

ORIGINAL: crumpets
quote:

ORIGINAL: NookieNotes
Whether it's your personal experience does not matter.

It's part of the discussion.


Again, because you made it part of the discussion. It actually does not apply to fact.

And neither does mine. Which is why I don't say, "Well, in all of my relationships, I'm the one who has wanted sex more," because that is personal experience and DOES NOT MATTER. One person is simply an anomaly without science to back it up.

quote:

ORIGINAL: crumpets
quote:

ORIGINAL: NookieNotes
And it has nothing to do with the ratio of men to women on sites like this, either.

It has everything to do with the REASON for the ratio.


Nope. The reason for the ratio is simple. Men offer sex so often that women don't need to search for it. We can have it when we want, with whom we want. The only reason women sign up for sites like this (and dating sites), is because we can't a suitable "whom" we want.


quote:

ORIGINAL: crumpets


quote:

ORIGINAL: UllrsIshtar
The issue is that one of you thinks that 'having standards and only having sex when it meets those standards' is a sign of a low sex drive, the other one thinks it's irrelevant and it's the desire that counts. If y'all are going to keep arguing, you should start by finding a mutual definition for 'sex drive' right now you're using the concept in different ways.

This is an interesting point, which can skew the discussion in a variety of ways.

If I may paraphrase, you're assuming women and men each have fundamentally the "same" sex drive (however we measure it), yet women can hold back and not exercise their options, while men tend to exercise their options sooner and with less demanding standards (to say the least).


Yup. Exactly the point I've been making and you've been arguing.

quote:

To your point, will women on the "Pink Viagra" suddenly behave in a far less hyperfastidious manner when it comes to choosing their sexual escapades? Time will tell.


I doubt it. The women will still have sex with the people they choose. Some may WANT more anonymous sex, some may want to use "Pink Viagra" for swinging, etc. Most will want only to continue having sex inside their chosen circles.

That's my guess.

quote:

ORIGINAL: crumpets
quote:

ORIGINAL: Thegunnysez
Wouldn't this speak directly to the sexuality/horniness factor of women as opposed to more fiscal considerations?


This is a good discussion point that there are probably far more cases of partnered men not realizing the child they raised wasn't actually theirs, versus the number of cases of partnered women suddenly realizing that the kid they thought was theirs wasn't theirs at all.

But, seriously speaking, I do see your point that women do have children without leaving the original man - but the reasons are so complex for anything that women do that we don't have the data whether fiscal considerations apply (for example, how do we know if the husband cuckold makes more money than the bull inseminator)?


Yes, but then you're saying they are having sex for the SEX, and staying in love/marriage/whatever for the money.

Not your original argument.

And how many men have sex outside their marriage for fun, and inside their marriage to keep their lives and respectability from crumbling? Or who can't afford to divorce? How is that different from the pictures you are painting about women?

quote:

ORIGINAL: Thegunnysez

quote:

Ooooh! that's a good one! *applauds*


Now, that is what I was talking about...unsolicited "attaboys"


Credit where credit is due. If it had been in person, my eyes would have twinkled, and I would have clapped my hand excitedly while bouncing my boobies a bit.

Just sayin'.


< Message edited by NookieNotes -- 8/25/2015 4:42:08 AM >

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Profile   Post #: 75
RE: Male:Female ratio on collarspace - 8/25/2015 4:43:23 AM   
Lucylastic


Posts: 40310
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: NookieNotes


Credit where credit is due. If it had been in person, my eyes would have twinkled, and I would have clapped my hand excitedly while bouncing my boobies a bit.

Just sayin'.


My boobies just jiggled n my eyes crinkled, LOL

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Profile   Post #: 76
RE: Male:Female ratio on collarspace - 8/25/2015 5:48:05 AM   
Thegunnysez


Posts: 741
Joined: 8/17/2015
Status: offline
quote:

quote:

ORIGINAL: Thegunnysez

quote:

Ooooh! that's a good one! *applauds*



Now, that is what I was talking about...unsolicited "attaboys"



Credit where credit is due. If it had been in person, my eyes would have twinkled, and I would have clapped my hand excitedly while bouncing my boobies a bit.

Just sayin'.


This speaks directly to the fairness doctrine I alluded to earlier..."just a little more to the right and a little slower......and for gawd's sake please don't stop."

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Profile   Post #: 77
RE: Male:Female ratio on collarspace - 8/25/2015 5:50:19 AM   
Thegunnysez


Posts: 741
Joined: 8/17/2015
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Lucylastic


quote:

ORIGINAL: NookieNotes


Credit where credit is due. If it had been in person, my eyes would have twinkled, and I would have clapped my hand excitedly while bouncing my boobies a bit.

Just sayin'.


My boobies just jiggled n my eyes crinkled, LOL


A tryst with the two of you could be a heart stopper...let me check my insurance coverage...

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Profile   Post #: 78
RE: Male:Female ratio on collarspace - 8/25/2015 5:55:09 AM   
Lucylastic


Posts: 40310
Status: offline 		Could???
LOL

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(in reply to Thegunnysez)
Profile   Post #: 79
RE: Male:Female ratio on collarspace - 8/25/2015 8:07:36 AM   
NookieNotes


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(in reply to Lucylastic)
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