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RE: How important are practical types of service to Dom... - 7/17/2006 12:45:17 PM   
SusanofO


Posts: 5672
Joined: 12/19/2005
Status: offline 		That is beautiful. I like lots of profiles (your included)
I am not purposely trying to single any one profile out (because many are very good, too many to name), but -  
cloudboy here at CM used to have one that I thought was awesome. It just said:

"Beauty will save the world".
I just loved that. He changed it lately. Now it says: "Strife is beter than loneliness". He is a male submissive, and he cracks me up sometimes, even though he is pretty serious much of the time. He lists one of his dislikes as Knitting, and Opera as a hard limit. LOL!!

- Susan 

< Message edited by SusanofO -- 7/17/2006 12:51:54 PM >

_____________________________

"Hope is the thing with feathers,
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson

(in reply to DoctorDubious)
Profile   Post #: 81
RE: How important are practical types of service to Dom... - 7/17/2006 12:55:03 PM   
popeye1250


Posts: 18104
Joined: 1/27/2006
From: New Hampshire
Status: offline 		Susan, you went out with a guy who said if you were out together and were mugged he'd want *YOU* to deal with the mugger???
You're kidding me!!! Damn!
In my humble opinion that is SURELY the job of a Dom!
Just like the male lion being the hyena killer.
I'm licensed to carry a concealed firearm in S. Carolina. Getting my concealed carry license, driver's license and registering to vote were among the first things I did when I moved here.
One of the first things that they teach you in the 8 hour course is not to put yourself in a bad situation in the first place!
Be aware of your surroundings at all times.
Also body language counts too. And as they taught us in the U.S. Coast Guard "eye contact" "The bad guys will always look away."
I'm always scanning the area when I'm out in public.
More than once I've seen guys who I knew were up to no good (druggies probably trying to get money for drugs in a mugging)
and I'd kind of stare at them. (One guy was probably "jonesing" and started shaking violently after I just looked at him for about 30 seconds LOL!)
Funny, a lot of the badguys are nice enough to wear "uniforms" so we can notice them; Ball cap, sunglasses, hooded sweatshirt with hood pulled over ballcap, unshaven, and trying to appear "invisable." LOL!
I often wear a ballcap that says "U.S. COAST GUARD" on it with the Coast Guard shield just underneith and the bad guys REALLY don't like that!
Susan, and what did this guy expect you to do exactly if you were mugged together?
TOO FUNNY!!!!

(in reply to DoctorDubious)
Profile   Post #: 82
RE: How important are practical types of service to Dom... - 7/17/2006 3:29:56 PM   
KnightofMists


Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SusanofO
But - do these types of things even interest many Dominants?


I can't speak on what most or even many Dominants would like or not like on this issue you ask.  I can only express my own thoughts on the issue.  Secondly,  How important is it to you to share these aspects of yourself?  Are these things that have a positive affect on your feeling useful as a submissive within the relationshp.  To be honest I don't think it really matters what other Dominants consider in this issue... what does matter is your opinion of it and finding one that shares this opinion...or at the very least respects and appreciates your opinion.

Now to more directly answer what you ask for what it is worth.

Personally, I value practical service very highly.  Many of the services that you elude to reflect a person's self-sufficiency in maintaining their inherent responsibilities.  Yes... cooking, cleaning and doing the laundry is important!  It shows that you can take care of yourself.  These skills are also important becuase they can become useful to me... save me time to do the things I want to do rather than the things I have to do.  When kyra first came to visit me she required to cook a meal for me.   Almost everytime we been together she has cooked for me and the family... I enjoy her cooking.  This of course is only an example of all the pratical things that she and alandra do for me. 

I suggest that you don't sell yourself short!   somewhere their is going to be a Dominant that will appreciate these things of you.... and isn't that what you want... a person that will appreciate you...ALL of you... the Practical and Simple to the Unperceivable and Complex.

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to SusanofO)
Profile   Post #: 83
RE: How important are practical types of service to Dom... - 7/17/2006 3:49:16 PM   
SirDaniel


Posts: 93
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: Las Vegas
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SusanofO

I am seeking friends only right now, but am contemplating how I want to re-write my profile in the future.


Friends is how I would wish to start any relationship, but with definite M/s over tomes.


quote:


I am wondering what people's reaction is when a submissive notes in a profile the types of practical service they can offer they feel they are good at doing. In my case, that would be things like cooking, housework, laundry, entertaining (planning parties, dinners), practical errands (grocery shopping),  and a few other things. I am hesitant to list these things because I am afraid it will sound:


I have actually broken service to ME down to 3 categories and not every slave is brought here to fill them all. Sometime it is only 1 or 2 of them and then an other slave may fill the RD.

1. House Hold Service

2. Personal Service

3. Sexual Service.

I think they are all pretty self explanatory but, if you wish I will explain each one.

quote:



But - do these types of things even interest many Dominants?


Birds of a feather flock together and they are of interest to me, so it goes to say most of the other Masters that I know of think it is good to know that about a girl as well.

quote:


*Does it matter if I list these things in a profile?I think it might not matter



Think again susan. I think they should be listed in your profile as well. Maybe not as much detail but the subject should be broached in some manner. It makes you more of an asset to a Master and NOT a liability. Assets should always be there to be seen when ever property is going to change hands. 



_____________________________

Sir Daniel
Las Vegas (Sin City), NV

http://members.cox.net/sirdaniel

quote:

Be true, honest, caring and loving,
and you will be found.
It is true, be you Master or slave.

(in reply to SusanofO)
Profile   Post #: 84
RE: How important are practical types of service to Dom... - 7/17/2006 6:33:39 PM   
SexyRed


Posts: 529
Joined: 8/19/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RavenMuse

quote:

ORIGINAL: SexyRed
So, try and learn some manners before you speak to a lady.


Petal, I am sure I would where there a LADY involved



Boy, you are quite the bore, aren't you?

_____________________________

A trucker will slow down for a blonde, stop for a brunette, but back up 500 yards for a redhead!


(in reply to RavenMuse)
Profile   Post #: 85
RE: How important are practical types of service to Dom... - 7/18/2006 1:00:37 AM   
SusanofO


Posts: 5672
Joined: 12/19/2005
Status: offline 		popeye:He wanted me to beat them with my purse and step on their toes (while he watched, I guess). Didn't exactly make me feel safe.

- Susan 

_____________________________

"Hope is the thing with feathers,
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson

(in reply to popeye1250)
Profile   Post #: 86
RE: How important are practical types of service to Dom... - 7/18/2006 1:01:48 AM   
SusanofO


Posts: 5672
Joined: 12/19/2005
Status: offline 		Sir Daniel:

Thnaks you for answering - it is nice to have someone's thoughts broken down into areas on the topic. This entrie thread has been wonderful food for thought.

Thanks to all who answered.

- Susan

_____________________________

"Hope is the thing with feathers,
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson

(in reply to SirDaniel)
Profile   Post #: 87
RE: How important are practical types of service to Dom... - 7/18/2006 2:09:25 AM   
shivvy


Posts: 746
Joined: 3/25/2006
From: Ireland, living in Kent, England.
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SusanofO
...because my subscription to Redbook and Ladies Home Journal magazines keep printing articles that, even though they are in business partly because there are still women who value things like domestic service, hint that you're not quite "modern enough" if you actually enjoy it. But I got a feeling it was somehow passe'.

- Susan   


ok.. after asking somebody wot passe ment , i'm 20, and i enjoy housework. like i think i said before, coz both my mum and dad work, and i'm at home mostly, i'm kinda responsible for keeping house, and i take pride in keeping it looking nice. ok, it's not always perfectly tidy (but i've a six year old who's passion is making a mess), but it's clean. i clean the bathroom and kitchen everyday, and make the beds and tidy up as i go along, as well as my weekly chores, like the washing and ironing, and starting dinner off for when my mum comes home and i go to work..
 
but i enjoy cooking, and baking with Kel, and just making our home a nice, clean and safe environment for everybody. nobody hardly eva says thankyou or anything, but you don't do it for that.
 
and if i may just comment on a few things Archer said please:-
quote:

ORIGINAL: Archer
I tend to have a less romantic view of D/s M/s than many here, so ... Laundry skills (and I mean real skills not just how to operate a Washer/ dryer, but how to remove various stains from various materials, as well as how to care for clothing so that it lasts longer. would be something most would find valuable.

I try to avoid the whole pink/ blue thing because a male Valet would have skills that in many houses would be considered pink. So don't limit yourself to "pink" skills A person with the skills of a professional Butler be they male or female would be a goldmine.

Above all though the universal skill I tend to value most is the ability to organize tasks and manage time, because it ties the rest of the skills all together.


sorry, i ment blue and pink jobs as in wot people traditionally think as being blue and pink jobs. i'm sure there's many blokes who are much betta at stuff then me. all i ment woz i been brought up where blue and pink jobs are very defined. i dunno how to wire a plug, and i would neva expect a bloke to iron. if somebody showed me how to wire a plug, then i would know and could do it. i don't feel like i *need* to know, coz in my mind, that's blue. But if Master wanted it to be pink and He showed me, then i got no objection to learning new stuff, if it makes Masters life easier.
 
As for organising tasks and managing time - i'm really naff at that, coz my daughters needs come first, EVEN before Masters (which He accepts), so often best made plans go out the window with me. Not by choice though, and i do try, but not always successfully.
 
with respect,
 
shiv
-x-

_____________________________


(¯`v´¯)
`*.¸.*´
¸.•´¸.•*¨) ¸.•*¨)
(¸.•´ (¸.•´ .•´ ¸¸.•¨¯`•.εΐз¸¸.·*´¯`v´¯`*·.¸¸ـ εΐз ~*luv shivvy*~ ـ εΐз

xxx
Owned and collared by SavageFaerie and Master P

(in reply to SusanofO)
Profile   Post #: 88
RE: How important are practical types of service to Dom... - 7/18/2006 5:14:08 AM   
SusanofO


Posts: 5672
Joined: 12/19/2005
Status: offline 		shivvy you are so sweet! Good morning!

- Susan

_____________________________

"Hope is the thing with feathers,
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson

(in reply to shivvy)
Profile   Post #: 89
RE: How important are practical types of service to Dom... - 7/18/2006 5:45:36 AM   
ADomDoc


Posts: 312
Joined: 11/8/2005
From: San Antonio
Status: offline 		Susan,
A very practical query!
quote:

ORIGINAL: SusanofO
I am wondering what people's reaction is when a submissive notes in a profile the types of practical service they can offer they feel they are good at doing. In my case, that would be things like cooking, housework, laundry, entertaining (planning parties, dinners), practical errands (grocery shopping),  and a few other things. I am hesitant to list these things because I am afraid it will sound: 1) Boring 2) Like I am seeking marriage, .  

Obviously, I could only comment for myself.  I'm sure there's a very wide range of opinions on your points.  I'd think that guys who have always had wifey to do the cooking & cleaning would find these services more important ... since they never tried to develop the skills for themselves.  Every guy who's been to college learned how to use the laundromat ... & I think most can survive using the microwave, but there are lots of guys out there who never learned to cook.  For myself, I've been divorced long enough & between wild women intermittently ... I've learned to survive in comfort.  BUT it would be nice to have a sub or slave who I wouldn't have to train in rudimentary cooking.  I enjoy cooking & love sharing a kitchen w/ a companion who also enjoys cooking.  Unfortunately, for the last 20 yrs, I've had to either cook in self defense ... or try to teach subs & slaves how to boil water.  That takes the fun out of sharing a kitchen. 
And ... there's nothing wrong w/ having a remote interest in marriage.  I think all that have tried it won't jump into it blindly in the future ... but keeping your options open can't hurt.
quote:


I do feel I am good at doing those things, and did them for many years, and enjoy doing many, if not most of them. But - do these types of things even interest many Dominants?

It can't hurt to tell folks what you are good at & what you enjoy doing.  If they aren't interested, then they'll ignore it & look for your other interests.  If it turns off a Dom reading your profile, you probably wouldn't want that Dom anyway.
quote:


*But - then I hear talk from Dominants about "service" and wonder if people mostly refer here to sexual- bdsm activity types of service when they mention this, or are they talking about practical, everyday types of tasks (grocery shopping, etc.)?

I'm sure all have their own definitions, but a preponderance are probably speaking of sexual service.
quote:


*Does it matter if I list these things in a profile? Will this be seen as more of a detriment than an asset, overall, or is it "nuetral"?

Probably they rate as a neutral.  Important only to folks who are seeking it specifically.
quote:


I think it might not matter, but - I also have a friend who, at the age of 30, has never done housework or cooked a meal, and learned only a few years ago how to do laundry (really).

Too many females have none of the 50's-style homemaking skills.  That's fine if they only want guys who don't care.  If you've got the skills, flaunt 'em.  It can't hurt & it might help.

Best of luck



(in reply to SusanofO)
Profile   Post #: 90
RE: How important are practical types of service to Dom... - 7/18/2006 5:55:29 AM   
Sunshine119


Posts: 611
Joined: 8/8/2005
Status: offline 		Susan,

What a great topic!  There really doesn't seem to be a place for the things we are talking about here without seemining overly boring and desperate.  For example, one of the things *I* adore is to act as His personal valet.  I love preparing his shower every morning, wiping him down, powdering him, dressing him, putting on his socks as he sits on the edge of the bed.

Of course, getting into the headset to do those things, I love taking care of all the things I need to act in that service.  I love ironing his shirts.  Before we met, everything he owned (practically) went to the dry cleaners.  Now, with the exception of his suits, I do all of his clothes.  As I am ironing his cotton, button down shirts and starching them to perfection *I* am immensely turned on!  How the heck do you put something like that in a list???

But then, because of necessity, many years ago I learned a whole host of skills.....like doing real rehab to houses.  I can frame, plumb and drywall with the best of them.  I am also a philosopher and a theologian by education.  Those skills rarely find themselves on lists like those on Collarme, but recently when a child in his extended family died, those skills became invaluable at 3 in the morning (even Doms have spiritual crises).

We are who we are.  There is no way we can put all that stuff in a short profile.  I think that is what the "getting to know you" stage is really all about.

sunshine


_____________________________


Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

(in reply to SusanofO)
Profile   Post #: 91
RE: How important are practical types of service to Dom... - 7/18/2006 6:03:51 AM   
SusanofO


Posts: 5672
Joined: 12/19/2005
Status: offline 		Well, A Dom Doc,

Thank you for answering! Your answer was so very kind, and encouraging. It is nice to receive a reply from another cook! Cooking is a lot of fun, I think - it's one of the reasons I do it; it is a hobby, not a chore (for me). I also actually enjoy housecleaning - most of the time; and do it even if I don't. And thanks for clarifying my question - it is nice to know skills at domestic things can be viewed as a "nuetral", unless specifically sought by someone.

I guess what I was really perhaps asking (in essence) was: How much of myself do I expose in a profile? - how much is safe to tell someone you don't really know, or know at all? It's a judgment call, and personal preference, I guess, but I tend to self-disclose a bit more than I used to, and I do appreciate well-written profiles. Short ones can be fun and descriptive and enticing, but, I have to say - 

Yours is certainly very, very clear and (I think) a great read. Wow, what a wonderful example of how to state what one needs and describe oneself. Really. I think so. My hat is off to you there. You probably think it's no big deal - but it is. It's wonderful.

This entire thread has been so clarifying for me. Thanks to everyone I feel so much less like a dinosaur than I did before. I knew in my heart I probably wasn't but I guess I wanted some reassurance. Thanks, everyone.

- Susan

< Message edited by SusanofO -- 7/18/2006 6:37:15 AM >

_____________________________

"Hope is the thing with feathers,
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson

(in reply to ADomDoc)
Profile   Post #: 92
RE: How important are practical types of service to Dom... - 7/18/2006 6:14:38 AM   
SusanofO


Posts: 5672
Joined: 12/19/2005
Status: offline 		Sunshine -

The Valet stuff sounds like fun. You know why? Because someone would appreciate it. That is what excites me most; I love it when I know someone appreciates what I do. I don't need even words to tell me whether they do or don't; I am practically psychic that way (might sound weird, but I think it's true). And if it just doesn't matter to them at all, sometimes that can be heart-breaking. Of course not all little chores are fun that way and someone needs to do them, and I do (for myself, have been doing those for years). I am not a whiner, nor do I need constant pats on the back, and was basically brought up not to complain - but, I feel it is so reassuring and nice, and motivating (to me) when someone's eyes light up or they smile, and I can tell I make a good difference in their lives. If nobody cares, it's just like singing into a total vacuum, sometimes without even so much as an an echo resounding back.

Thanks for listening, and for replying - I listen to a lot, and read a lot, (and talk a lot, ha), and I think maybe some people in this site thingk maybe nobody reads what they write. Well, they're wrong. Maybe the readers just don't talk about it all the time. I think many here have awesome posts (yours included).

- Susan   

< Message edited by SusanofO -- 7/18/2006 6:15:15 AM >

_____________________________

"Hope is the thing with feathers,
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson

(in reply to Sunshine119)
Profile   Post #: 93
RE: How important are practical types of service to Dom... - 7/18/2006 11:02:06 AM   
popeye1250


Posts: 18104
Joined: 1/27/2006
From: New Hampshire
Status: offline 		Susan, lol@ purse and heels! Protecting and defending your sub is a primary *duty* of a Dom.
Yes, it's the small things that mean so much!
I like to cook too and a nice meal is always appreciated.
I like to cook occaisionally as a way to show that I care about my sub.
And I really enjoy it if a sub is dressed like a maid when she serves me!

(in reply to SusanofO)
Profile   Post #: 94
RE: How important are practical types of service to Dom... - 7/19/2006 3:02:37 AM   
mons


Posts: 2400
Joined: 11/16/2005
Status: offline 		susano
 
it is ok to put in your profile what you wish. Have you ever read anyone of the submisive males profile they put down things such as they can clean, cooking this is things that many of dommes want so you can place that and do not feel shame or  shy just do it but i warn you many the males doms do not like a fresh woman who puts to many sexual things downs this goes with out saying this will happen. i wish you luck on your profile and best wishes dear
 
mon

(in reply to SusanofO)
Profile   Post #: 95
RE: How important are practical types of service to Dom... - 7/19/2006 3:39:11 AM   
SusanofO


Posts: 5672
Joined: 12/19/2005
Status: offline 		Thnak you for the helpful reply, mons. I appreciate it.

- Susan

_____________________________

"Hope is the thing with feathers,
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson

(in reply to mons)
Profile   Post #: 96
RE: How important are practical types of service to Dom... - 7/22/2006 2:57:12 PM   
ADomDoc


Posts: 312
Joined: 11/8/2005
From: San Antonio
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SusanofO
I guess what I was really perhaps asking (in essence) was: How much of myself do I expose in a profile? - how much is safe to tell someone you don't really know, or know at all? It's a judgment call, and personal preference, I guess, but I tend to self-disclose a bit more than I used to, and I do appreciate well-written profiles. Short ones can be fun and descriptive and enticing, but, I have to say - 
Yours is certainly very, very clear and (I think) a great read. Wow, what a wonderful example of how to state what one needs and describe oneself. Really. I think so. My hat is off to you there. You probably think it's no big deal - but it is. It's wonderful.

Thanks ... I'd say one should explain as much about themselves as 1) they feel comfortable, 2) that doesn't give away identifying or locating information (esp for subs/slaves ... there ARE stalkers & malevolent folks out there). 
I've expanded my profile from the minimalist type that is common with the philosophy that readers can pretty much tell if they are interested in me or not.  It saves them time & me time.  80% of the time I have folks tell me how good my profile is ... 20% send me 1 line responses w/ a comment like "tell me more" ... and they obviously haven't read my profile.  When they do read it, they find out we weren't in anyway compatible & they get nasty.

Anyway ... best of luck to you



(in reply to SusanofO)
Profile   Post #: 97
RE: How important are practical types of service to Dom... - 7/22/2006 3:31:47 PM   
Padriag


Posts: 2633
Joined: 3/30/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SusanofO

I am seeking friends only right now, but am contemplating how I want to re-write my profile in the future. I am wondering what people's reaction is when a submissive notes in a profile the types of practical service they can offer they feel they are good at doing. In my case, that would be things like cooking, housework, laundry, entertaining (planning parties, dinners), practical errands (grocery shopping),  and a few other things.

Speaking for myself, those skills would interest me.  I would also be interested in someone who had skills doing accounting and general secretarial skills, someone who likes to drive (I hate to), creative ability, musical ability, artistic ability, etc.  But that's me.

A lot of what interests a dominant depends on what that dominant's goals are.  For myself, I'm seeking a style of life and therefore am also seeking a slave who can be of service to me in all parts of my life.  That means the broader her range of skills and talents, especially in areas important to me, the more appealing she is to me.

But there are other dominants only seeking a style of relationship.  For them the only skills they might be interested in are those related to service within the relationship.  They have no interest in service in other areas of their life.

And then there are dominants who only seek a style of sexual relationship, and therefore the only things of interest are sexual skills and fetishes.

My advice Susan is to consider whether you are seeking just a style of relationship or a style of life and then, based on that advertise yourself according to attract a dominant who's goals match yours.  That is if you are seeking a style of life, find a dominant who is also seeking that.  I think you'll have much more success that way.

_____________________________

Padriag

A stern discipline pervades all nature, which is a little cruel so that it may be very kind - Edmund Spencer

(in reply to SusanofO)
Profile   Post #: 98
RE: How important are practical types of service to Dom... - 7/22/2006 8:16:14 PM   
HouseofBear


Posts: 1280
Joined: 2/9/2005
Status: offline 		Susan,

There are many dominants who would be interested in a profile that mentioned domestic sevice being an interest.  Too many times a profile lists interested in service, and it turns out the only service the submissive is interested in is sexual service.  It is gratifying to know there are those out there who do believe in pleasing their dominant in more than just that manner.  As to how much you list, list what is comfortable to you or just decscribe it in generalized terms.  We wish you well in your search.

Bear and Ursa

(in reply to Padriag)
Profile   Post #: 99
RE: How important are practical types of service to Dom... - 7/22/2006 9:29:35 PM   
SusanofO


Posts: 5672
Joined: 12/19/2005
Status: offline 		Hey A Dom Doc;

Thanks for the reply. Makes complete and perfect sense to me.

I really think your profile is well written (but I already said that). I am an INFJ on the E border and fake ENFJ really, really well. When I go (eventually) job hunting, this IS going to matter because INFJs don't even register on most corporations' organization charts (we're 1) rare and 2) apparently, we're "too sensitive", too "touchy feely", etc.). However, ENFJs are usually either the CEO or darn close to it, or the top salesperson. So, I will make sure the way I answer those Myers-Briggs test questions put me over the top - if I need to take this test (for about the fifth time) for a job interview. If it will get me the job. Because I think I am on the borderline and fake it well enough (and enjoy it enough) to not let it become a problem for me. I hope nobody here considers that unethical. Maybe it is, but I am on the border. And also, people just ignore we INFJ's like we don't exist - we're supposed to, apparently, just go become poets or something (like anyone can make a living at that). 

No idea why I am rambling on about my Myers-Briggs score, except that it has been a problem in the past. There are companies that totally ignore the interview and go by their "tests" they give. I've missed out on a few good jobs that way, I am sure. But they do what they do, and I can see it mattering, but an interview should count for something, too, right? Anyway, I am just blathering...feel free to ignore that.Thanks for the reply.

- Susan

< Message edited by SusanofO -- 7/22/2006 9:39:11 PM >

_____________________________

"Hope is the thing with feathers,
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson

(in reply to ADomDoc)
Profile   Post #: 100
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