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A man .. - 9/15/2015 12:41:47 PM   
PeonForHer


Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline 		... walked into a zoo in which there was only one animal - a dog. It was a shitzu.

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RE: A man .. - 9/15/2015 1:09:21 PM   
Kaliko


Posts: 3381
Joined: 9/25/2010
Status: offline 		:) Corny jokes. My favorite.

I about died the first time I heard "Two peanuts were walking down the road. One was assaulted."

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RE: A man .. - 9/15/2015 4:04:49 PM   
PeonForHer


Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline 		Profoundly feeble, Kaliko.

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RE: A man .. - 9/15/2015 8:06:35 PM   
dcnovice


Posts: 37282
Joined: 8/2/2006
Status: offline 		FR

My favorite joke has always been the incredibly twisted "Well, aside from that, how was the play, Mrs. Lincoln?"

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No matter how cynical you become,
it's never enough to keep up.

JANE WAGNER, THE SEARCH FOR SIGNS OF
INTELLIGENT LIFE IN THE UNIVERSE

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RE: A man .. - 9/16/2015 12:54:10 AM   
PeonForHer


Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline 		Ouch. Good, though.

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RE: A man .. - 9/16/2015 3:26:02 PM   
Hillwilliam


Posts: 19394
Joined: 8/27/2008
Status: offline
What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants walking over the hill?

He said "Here come the elephants walking over the hill".

What did he say when the elephants came walking over the hill wearing sun glasses?

Nothing...he didn't recognize them.

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Whoever said "Religion is the opiate of the masses" never heard Right Wing talk radio.

Don't blame me, I voted for Gary Johnson.

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RE: A man .. - 9/16/2015 3:57:52 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		Where's that double face palm pic where you need it?


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RE: A man .. - 9/16/2015 4:08:50 PM   
dcnovice


Posts: 37282
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No matter how cynical you become,
it's never enough to keep up.

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INTELLIGENT LIFE IN THE UNIVERSE

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RE: A man .. - 9/16/2015 4:29:12 PM   
Kirata


Posts: 15477
Joined: 2/11/2006
From: USA
Status: offline
Q: What do you call a sleepwalking nun?
A: A roamin' Catholic.

There were two fish in the tank. One was driving and the other was manning the gun.

Q: What's blue and smells like red paint?
A: Blue paint.

Two guys stole a calendar. They each got six months.

Q: Why can't bicycles stand up on their own?
A: They're two tired.

Knock, knock.
  Who's there?
Europe.
  Europe who?
No, you're a poo!

Two antennas got married. The reception was amazing.

K.


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RE: A man .. - 9/18/2015 7:33:21 PM   
LookieNoNookie


Posts: 12216
Joined: 8/9/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

... walked into a zoo in which there was only one animal - a dog. It was a shitzu.


(I would not give up your day job).

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RE: A man .. - 9/19/2015 6:56:41 AM   
MasterG2kTR


Posts: 6677
Joined: 8/7/2004
From: Wisconsin
Status: offline 		All right....if we're doing lame jokes......

Q: What do elephants use for tampons?
A: Sheep

Q: What's invisible and smells like carrots?
A: Rabbit farts

Two blondes walked into a bar.....
you'd think one of them would have seen it

Two gay men walked past the morgue
one says to the other
"you wanna stop in for a cold one?"

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Two wrongs don't make a right,
but three rights make a left
....think about it

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RE: A man .. - 9/24/2015 5:09:47 PM   
LookieNoNookie


Posts: 12216
Joined: 8/9/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

... walked into a zoo in which there was only one animal - a dog. It was a shitzu.



Peon.....day job.....don't.

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RE: A man .. - 9/27/2015 4:40:09 AM   
Bunnicula


Posts: 420
Joined: 4/7/2014
Status: offline 		A horse walked into a bar.

The barman asked: "why the long face?"

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RE: A man .. - 10/9/2015 9:01:10 AM   
Nthrall


Posts: 65
Joined: 3/16/2015
Status: offline 		A man swam into a bar. It was a sandbar.

(I know it's not funny but it might be original)

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RE: A man .. - 11/25/2015 9:41:32 AM   
L8bloomer


Posts: 480
Joined: 6/1/2008
From: Your imagination
Status: offline 		To the OP: Congratulations! That's probably amongst the top 10 worst jokes I've ever heard. ;)


quote:

ORIGINAL: dcnovice

FR

My favorite joke has always been the incredibly twisted "Well, aside from that, how was the play, Mrs. Lincoln?"


Oh! dc, you may enjoy this one. I confess it made me laugh when I first heard it. :)

When I die, I want to go in my sleep like my grandfather...

...and not screaming like his passengers.

Heh. ;)

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RE: A man .. - 11/25/2015 11:09:58 AM   
freedomdwarf1


Posts: 6845
Joined: 10/23/2012
Status: offline 		A woman driving along at speed passed over a bridge only to find a cop with a radar gun on the other side lying in wait. The cop pulled her over, walked up to the car, with that classic patronizing smirk & asked, 'What's your hurry?'

She replied, 'I'm late for work.'
'Oh yeah,' said the cop, 'what do you do?'
'I'm a Rectum Stretcher,' she responded.
The cop stammered, 'A what?'............
'A Rectum Stretcher!'

'And just what does a rectum stretcher do?'
'Well,' she said, 'I start by inserting one finger in the rectum, then work my way up to two fingers, then three, then four, then with my whole hand in I work from side to side until I can get both hands in, and then I slowly but surely stretch it, until it's about 6 feet'

'And just what the hell do you do with a 6 foot arsehole?' he asked
'You give him a radar gun & park him behind a bridge'...

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RE: A man .. - 11/25/2015 11:13:21 AM   
Baldrick


Posts: 302
Joined: 1/2/2005
Status: offline 		Why don't cannibals eat clowns?

They taste funny

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RE: A man .. - 11/25/2015 12:19:54 PM   
DaddySatyr


Posts: 9381
Joined: 8/29/2011
From: Pittston, Pennsyltucky
Status: offline
A priest, a rabbi, and a minister walked into a bar and the bartender said: "Hey! is this some kind of joke?"



Michael

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Screen captures (and pissing on shadows) still RULE! Ya feel me?

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RE: A man .. - 11/25/2015 3:13:43 PM   
DaNewAgeViking


Posts: 1009
Joined: 4/29/2004
Status: offline 		Tarzan swings, Tarzan falls,
Jane grabs Tarzan by his balls.
Now we know why Tarzan calls,
Aaahhh Eeee Aaaah Eeee Ahhh Eeee Ahhh Eeee Ahhhh!

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RE: A man .. - 11/25/2015 9:16:49 PM   
littleclip


Posts: 869
Joined: 5/31/2012
Status: offline 		what do you call a cow that has had a hysterectomy
de-calfinated

why do they put bells around cows necks
horns don't work


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