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RE: How To Handle People Who Are Always Late? - 9/27/2015 10:52:03 PM

crumpets

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Wayward5oul
Which is a suggestion that the OP might say to his partner.

Naaah. It makes too much sense. It's too balanced.
Won't happen.

:)

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RE: How To Handle People Who Are Always Late? - 9/27/2015 11:05:10 PM

MuscleBoundDom

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I think it depends on where they live. If they live in a big city you have to expect 15 - 20 minutes late due to traffic. But if a person is 40 minutes late every single time, with a different excuse each time, something is wrong.
Everybody has excuses for their bad behavior. Everybody wants their excuses to be accepted without question. However, if you ever do a bad behavior, he/she will eat your head off.

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RE: How To Handle People Who Are Always Late? - 9/28/2015 12:28:49 AM

UllrsIshtar

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quote:

ORIGINAL: crumpets

I understand your point, which is, in a way, that the sub is, in effect, topping from the bottom in that she is determining the meeting time, clearly against the stated wishes of the so-called Dom.

It has nothing to do with topping from the bottom. In order to top from the bottom, she's have to actively be out for control.

What it is is a matter of: if she wants him to be in control, she's going to need to start following his lead as some point. A refusal to do so may just mean she doesn't trust him, or they aren't compatible. It doesn't have anything to do with topping from the bottom per say.

quote:

ORIGINAL: crumpets

your statement that your "personality changes" (which it doesn't, but I knew what you meant)

You'd be wrong about that cupcake, though I ain't going to get into the why on an open forum. Hit me up in private if you really care to get into the details.

quote:

ORIGINAL: crumpets
I'd say that you are a weak ENTP all around.

Nope. Strong, weak, Strong (to the extreme actually), Strong.

< Message edited by UllrsIshtar -- 9/28/2015 12:42:31 AM >

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Post #: 83

RE: How To Handle People Who Are Always Late? - 9/28/2015 3:47:00 AM

NookieNotes

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quote:

ORIGINAL: crumpets

quote:

ORIGINAL: UllrsIshtar
I would like you to show me that effort by you trying to make sure that you're on time more often, or at least not last by as much, as a sign that you care about me as much as I am starting to care about you.

This makes too much sense, so, I doubt many people who have the personality of the OP will actually go that route, for, if he did, he wouldn't be whining about it here or asking for such advice.

However, my main point was that I suspect the PERSONALITIES differ too greatly in the case of the OP and his paramour.

You may be right.

There is something else to consider. I was once more like the OP in my view of late. I have changed. I have learned to love my late friends, because I have decided that loving my friends is far more important and creates far more happiness than being upset with my friends.

I don't worry about late. If they are late to something that matters, they miss it. If I think they may be late to something that matters, I'll offer to help them get there on time. If they are late to something that doesn't matter, I've always brought my phone, a book/kindle or my computer, so that I can entertain myself.

Because I am usually a bit early.

To be clear, that was a conscious restructuring of my life, to allow for people to matter more than schedules, even when I live my own life by a schedule.

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RE: How To Handle People Who Are Always Late? - 9/28/2015 7:03:46 AM

crumpets

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quote:

ORIGINAL: UllrsIshtar
ENTP
Nope. Strong, weak, Strong (to the extreme actually), Strong.

Ah, so you energize around people where you thrive in the differences amongst us; yet you take inputs from a huge variety of both measurable and instinctive; with those extremely comprehensive inputs, you then apply pure logic to your decisions; and you follow your own rules as much as you prefer others to follow suit.

How is that for a preliminary assessment of whom you might be, preference wise, given what you've said to date?

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RE: How To Handle People Who Are Always Late? - 9/28/2015 7:11:58 AM

crumpets

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quote:

ORIGINAL: NookieNotes
There is something else to consider..... I have decided that loving my friends is far more important and creates far more happiness than being upset with my friends.

Again, this makes too much sense to love the IMPORTANT material results of the meeting of two paramours, rather than the trivially unimportant circumstances wholly unrelated to the love involved.
In fact, I suspect you, like I, am so immersed in the immediacy of the friends, that you may (like I) wholly forget about time, when you're with them.
So, the danger is being late for the NEXT meeting; but the results are that the ones you are with get ALL of you (not just the half that is worried about time).

quote:

ORIGINAL: NookieNotes
Because I am usually a bit early.

Truth be told, even though I am ADHD (so I get immersed in the moment and totally forget about time) and a very strong "P" (so I'm not all that ordered anyway), I also strive to always be so early that I have to bring something to do, whenever I meet up with someone on a personal level.

In fact, I've been told that, for an Italian (a real Italian, not just half or three quarters, but full Sicilian), I'm extremely punctual (which, if you know Italians, who have a zest for life but who also know that time is immaterial, is saying something deep).

So, as noted, just because it's a preference - doesn't mean that it can't be changed.

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RE: How To Handle People Who Are Always Late? - 9/28/2015 8:30:04 AM

DaddySatyr

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quote:

ORIGINAL: crumpets

quote:

ORIGINAL: NookieNotes
There is something else to consider..... I have decided that loving my friends is far more important and creates far more happiness than being upset with my friends.

Again, this makes too much sense to love the IMPORTANT material results of the meeting of two paramours, rather than the trivially unimportant circumstances wholly unrelated to the love involved.

In fact, I suspect you, like I, am so immersed in the immediacy of the friends, that you may (like I) wholly forget about time, when you're with them.
So, the danger is being late for the NEXT meeting; but the results are that the ones you are with get ALL of you (not just the half that is worried about time).

A truly laudable sentiment.

I have found that people that incessantly think nothing about my time don't make it long enough to become friends. They never get passed "acquaintance".

I have to admit, if it were someone I already cared about, I'd feel differently.

My Uncle Bob, who essentially raised me, had this issue of always being late. In the family, we used to tell him stuff started 90 minutes earlier than it did (and he'd still be late, at times). His life wasn't that hectic; no children ... no pets ... he did have a PITA girlfriend whom he later married.

He was late to my wedding rehearsal dinner. I was pissed. I sat him down, after the dinner and had the most difficult conversation of my life (to that point). I told him that I felt his behavior was selfish and arrogant.

He was on time for the wedding and except for a few extreme circumstances, he hasn't been more than a couple of minutes late since then. That wedding was in 1986.

He's getting older, now and it is to the point where I would obviously give him a bit more of the benefit of the doubt, but he's earned that with me. Some bint I invite out for coffee that can't be bothered to show up somewhere near on-time wouldn't enjoy that amount of gravitas from me.

Michael

< Message edited by DaddySatyr -- 9/28/2015 8:53:18 AM >

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RE: How To Handle People Who Are Always Late? - 9/28/2015 8:31:46 AM

blnymph

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all the capital letters of the alphabet frequently quoted and widely elaborated and explained can be arranged this way:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Narcissism

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RE: How To Handle People Who Are Always Late? - 9/28/2015 10:03:54 AM

UllrsIshtar

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quote:

ORIGINAL: crumpets

quote:

ORIGINAL: UllrsIshtar
ENTP
Nope. Strong, weak, Strong (to the extreme actually), Strong.

Ah, so you energize around people where you thrive in the differences amongst us; yet you take inputs from a huge variety of both measurable and instinctive; with those extremely comprehensive inputs, you then apply pure logic to your decisions; and you follow your own rules as much as you prefer others to follow suit.

How is that for a preliminary assessment of whom you might be, preference wise, given what you've said to date?

That is how I am right now.

Not how I am other relationships and contexts.

_____________________________

I can be your whore
I am the dirt you created
I am your sinner
And your whore
But let me tell you something baby
You love me for everything you hate me for

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Post #: 89

RE: How To Handle People Who Are Always Late? - 9/29/2015 1:55:32 PM

crumpets

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quote:

ORIGINAL: UllrsIshtar
That is how I am right now.
Not how I am other relationships and contexts.

While we're abusing MB personality profiles, we must also state that nobody ever said that MB has any context with respect to relationships.

MB is all about understanding preferences with respect to four items:
1. How you energize
2. How you take in data
3. How you process decisions
4. How you order your life (and that of others)

It's just not a "relationship" thing.

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RE: How To Handle People Who Are Always Late? - 9/29/2015 4:33:44 PM

UllrsIshtar

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quote:

ORIGINAL: crumpets

quote:

ORIGINAL: UllrsIshtar
That is how I am right now.
Not how I am other relationships and contexts.

While we're abusing MB personality profiles, we must also state that nobody ever said that MB has any context with respect to relationships.

MB is all about understanding preferences with respect to four items:
1. How you energize
2. How you take in data
3. How you process decisions
4. How you order your life (and that of others)

It's just not a "relationship" thing.

I didn't suggest it was.

What I said what that the way in which I do those 4 things depends on which relationship with others I am considering (whether it'd be work/family/romantic/social/friendship).

I don't, and never have done those things in a static manner that translates past the boundaries of a specific context.

_____________________________

I can be your whore
I am the dirt you created
I am your sinner
And your whore
But let me tell you something baby
You love me for everything you hate me for

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Post #: 91

RE: How To Handle People Who Are Always Late? - 10/2/2015 7:26:03 AM

blnymph

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quote:

ORIGINAL: crumpets

quote:

ORIGINAL: UllrsIshtar
That is how I am right now.
Not how I am other relationships and contexts.

While we're abusing MB personality profiles, we must also state that nobody ever said that MB has any context with respect to relationships.

MB is all about understanding preferences with respect to four items:
1. How you energize
2. How you take in data
3. How you process decisions
4. How you order your life (and that of others)

It's just not a "relationship" thing.

what I read here so far it indeed is not ...

It is hardly anything more than weak excuses for
- lack of empathy
- lack of manners
- lack of even the concepts of politeness and respect
- lack of social competence and ability of interaction

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RE: How To Handle People Who Are Always Late? - 10/3/2015 11:18:26 AM

Wayward5oul

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quote:

ORIGINAL: blnymph
what I read here so far it indeed is not ...

It is hardly anything more than weak excuses for
- lack of empathy
- lack of manners
- lack of even the concepts of politeness and respect
- lack of social competence and ability of interaction

If utilized the way that it is intended, MB can be an invaluable tool in business and interpersonal interactions. But that is all it is, a tool. It can be misused like any other. It should not be used as an excuse for anything. There are those that have the idea that just because something can be reasonably explained then that makes it okay. But that isn't true. Rudeness is rude, Disrespect is disrespectful.

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RE: How To Handle People Who Are Always Late? - 10/3/2015 11:20:24 AM

Wayward5oul

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quote:

ORIGINAL: crumpets

quote:

ORIGINAL: UllrsIshtar
ENTP
Nope. Strong, weak, Strong (to the extreme actually), Strong.

Ah, so you energize around people where you thrive in the differences amongst us; yet you take inputs from a huge variety of both measurable and instinctive; with those extremely comprehensive inputs, you then apply pure logic to your decisions; and you follow your own rules as much as you prefer others to follow suit.

How is that for a preliminary assessment of whom you might be, preference wise, given what you've said to date?

Ishtar, be prepared for this type of analysis to be thrown at you every time you are involved in a discussion with this person now. I feel for ya.

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RE: How To Handle People Who Are Always Late? - 10/3/2015 2:47:32 PM

UllrsIshtar

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Wayward5oul

quote:

ORIGINAL: crumpets

quote:

ORIGINAL: UllrsIshtar
ENTP
Nope. Strong, weak, Strong (to the extreme actually), Strong.

Ah, so you energize around people where you thrive in the differences amongst us; yet you take inputs from a huge variety of both measurable and instinctive; with those extremely comprehensive inputs, you then apply pure logic to your decisions; and you follow your own rules as much as you prefer others to follow suit.

How is that for a preliminary assessment of whom you might be, preference wise, given what you've said to date?

Ishtar, be prepared for this type of analysis to be thrown at you every time you are involved in a discussion with this person now. I feel for ya.

I noticed. Considering that I've already pointed out several times that that ENTP profile only applies to be within certain contexts, and not at all within other ones, and that's being ignored.

However, seeing that I'm apparently ENTP when I'm posting here on the boards, which equals a "debater" who loves mental sparring for the sake of arguing, it's not going to bother me as much as it would most.

_____________________________

I can be your whore
I am the dirt you created
I am your sinner
And your whore
But let me tell you something baby
You love me for everything you hate me for

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RE: How To Handle People Who Are Always Late? - 10/8/2015 3:31:09 PM

alpha499

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In my opinion, they are not interested, some people are passive agressive and will never face you or tell you the truth, they use mortification to correct a mistake they might have done. Get the message and walk away.

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