When A Pro-Domme Starts Having Sex (for money) With A Client, Is She Still Considered a Pro-Domme?

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All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> When A Pro-Domme Starts Having Sex (for money) With A Client, Is She Still Considered a Pro-Domme?

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When A Pro-Domme Starts Having Sex (for money) With A C... - 12/18/2015 5:13:09 PM

MuscleBoundDom

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Whenever someone says they are paying a prostitute, for what some people consider a low price, many women say, "Well, a Pro-Domme charges at least $200.00" and give reasons why.

My argument is that when a Pro-Domme starts having sex with her clients, for money, she is no longer a Pro-Domme, but a prostitute. A lot of women on this site are disagreeing with this argument.

I would like to hear your input.

Post #: 1

RE: When A Pro-Domme Starts Having Sex (for money) With... - 12/18/2015 5:22:12 PM

Delilya

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None of the Pro's I've ever know had sex with their clients. They were paid for a service, but not sex.

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Post #: 2

RE: When A Pro-Domme Starts Having Sex (for money) With... - 12/18/2015 5:29:50 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
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Still a pro domme.

This is not to say that all pros include sex in what they do. However, as some do engage in sexual activities, you can't just say "none" have that as a part of the services they offer.

I'm counting things such as face sitting/queening, strap on, happy endings, et all as being considered sexual.

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RE: When A Pro-Domme Starts Having Sex (for money) With... - 12/18/2015 5:32:33 PM

Dvr22999874

Posts: 2849
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That's a way of getting around the prostitution laws as long as pro-dommes are legal.......................the client pays for the dominating session and she throws in the sex for free *smile*..............................It used to work here with fortune tellers......................you bought a cup of tea for $20 or $30 and they threw in a reading for free *smile*

(in reply to LadyPact)

Post #: 4

RE: When A Pro-Domme Starts Having Sex (for money) With... - 12/18/2015 5:36:52 PM

Dvr22999874

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pro-domme or prostitute or combination of both; what does it really matter ? She is earning an honest living and basically bothering nobody except the local prudes and blue-stockings.

< Message edited by Dvr22999874 -- 12/18/2015 5:37:25 PM >

(in reply to Dvr22999874)

Post #: 5

RE: When A Pro-Domme Starts Having Sex (for money) With... - 12/18/2015 9:02:34 PM

stef

Posts: 10215
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MuscleBoundDom

My argument is that when a Pro-Domme starts having sex with her clients, for money, she is no longer a Pro-Domme, but a prostitute.

Bless your heart. And people here should care why, exactly?

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RE: When A Pro-Domme Starts Having Sex (for money) With... - 12/18/2015 10:03:57 PM

Dvr22999874

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Hear Hear stef

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Post #: 7

RE: When A Pro-Domme Starts Having Sex (for money) With... - 12/18/2015 11:11:35 PM

ProDommeNY

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Sweety, of course it does. I've been a Pro-Domme for over 4 years and if sex wasn't included I would be out of a job! What on earth made you think intercourse wasn't part of being a Pro-Domme?

(in reply to Dvr22999874)

Post #: 8

RE: When A Pro-Domme Starts Having Sex (for money) With... - 12/19/2015 2:13:09 AM

ReMakeYou

Posts: 147
Joined: 1/20/2012
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It's a very rare professional who does not make a living doing what they're a pro at. Most pro dommes will therefore get paid.

As people who get paid to engage in sexual acts, they're prostitutes. By definition. Although one can engage in certain legalese if it comes up in court, it's pretty obvious when the lawyers aren't out.

The bigger question is, why do you need outside permission to keep doing what you're doing? Again, the courts and the laws are their own thing. Outside of those, what does it matter whether random strangers think so long as everyone actually involved is happy?

(in reply to ProDommeNY)

Post #: 9

RE: When A Pro-Domme Starts Having Sex (for money) With... - 12/19/2015 8:52:49 AM

LadyConstanze

Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MuscleBoundDom

Whenever someone says they are paying a prostitute, for what some people consider a low price, many women say, "Well, a Pro-Domme charges at least $200.00" and give reasons why.

My argument is that when a Pro-Domme starts having sex with her clients, for money, she is no longer a Pro-Domme, but a prostitute. A lot of women on this site are disagreeing with this argument.

I would like to hear your input.

I don't know if you don't want to understand or if you aren't capable of understanding...

While a pro domme (at least legit ones) won't have sex with their clients, in the eyes of the law a lot of the things they do will still count as prostitution

Both are working in the sex industry. there is no better or worse or no hierarchy, it's about personal preference and what a woman is comfortable with and it should be her call and her call alone.

If you don't like prostitutes, it's simple don't go to one, it's like gay marriage, if you don't like it, don't marry a same sex partner.

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Post #: 10

RE: When A Pro-Domme Starts Having Sex (for money) With... - 12/19/2015 10:19:13 AM

seekingreality

Posts: 599
Joined: 8/11/2011
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MuscleBoundDom

Whenever someone says they are paying a prostitute, for what some people consider a low price, many women say, "Well, a Pro-Domme charges at least $200.00" and give reasons why.

My argument is that when a Pro-Domme starts having sex with her clients, for money, she is no longer a Pro-Domme, but a prostitute. A lot of women on this site are disagreeing with this argument.

I would like to hear your input.

I'd say a professional domme who has sex with a client is both a professional domme and a prostitute.

But I'm not a fan of using labels to minimize people and box them in.

(in reply to MuscleBoundDom)

Post #: 11

RE: When A Pro-Domme Starts Having Sex (for money) With... - 12/19/2015 11:09:22 AM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
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If we're arguing about labels; I can think of several that apply to the op. Unfortunately, they all qualify as personal attacks so I'm not going to state them.

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Post #: 12

RE: When A Pro-Domme Starts Having Sex (for money) With... - 12/19/2015 1:18:04 PM

MikeRaven

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Joined: 9/19/2015
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I hope this clarifies things for the OP. I know someone who is a Pro-Domme and works at a popular dungeon. She says Pro-Dommes do not engage in any sex acts (intercourse, BJ, HJ) with their clients. However, a Dominatrix will. Prostitution isn't part of being a Pro-Domme but it's part of being a Dominatrix.

In other words, if a Pro-Domme has sex with her client, she ceases to be a Pro-Domme and is now a Dominatrix.

I hope that helps.

(in reply to DesFIP)

Post #: 13

RE: When A Pro-Domme Starts Having Sex (for money) With... - 12/19/2015 1:21:46 PM

OsideGirl

Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MikeRaven

She says Pro-Dommes do not engage in any sex acts (intercourse, BJ, HJ) with their clients. However, a Dominatrix will. Prostitution isn't part of being a Pro-Domme but it's part of being a Dominatrix.

In other words, if a Pro-Domme has sex with her client, she ceases to be a Pro-Domme and is now a Dominatrix.

That's her definition then, because most of the D/s BDSM world views a Pro-Domme and Dominatrix as the same thing. In fact, when I came into the community (20 some odd years ago) the term Pro-Domme wasn't really used. Dominatrix referred to someone who engaged in BDSM for money.

< Message edited by OsideGirl -- 12/19/2015 1:23:37 PM >

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RE: When A Pro-Domme Starts Having Sex (for money) With... - 12/19/2015 8:48:46 PM

DocStrange

Posts: 1076
Joined: 6/10/2015
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MikeRaven

I hope this clarifies things for the OP. I know someone who is a Pro-Domme and works at a popular dungeon. She says Pro-Dommes do not engage in any sex acts (intercourse, BJ, HJ) with their clients. However, a Dominatrix will. Prostitution isn't part of being a Pro-Domme but it's part of being a Dominatrix.

In other words, if a Pro-Domme has sex with her client, she ceases to be a Pro-Domme and is now a Dominatrix.

I hope that helps.

A dominatrix is a woman who takes the dominant role in bondage, discipline and sadomasochism better known as BDSM.

A mistress is a female lover and companion who is not married to her partner, especially when her partner is married. The couple does not live together openly and the relationship is usually, but not always, secret. There is often also the implication that the mistress is "kept" – i.e. that her lover is paying for some (and sometimes all) of her living expenses.

Pro Domme is more less a newer term (and mainly a US term) but simply refers to a dominatrix who is for hire on a regular basis. IE make a living from being a dominatrix / has paying clients.

Prostitute is a person who simply has sex for money.

A person can be one or all of the names above. The act of having sex does not change that. Though many will preach ProDommes do not have sex with their clients, in reality some do.

(in reply to MikeRaven)

Post #: 15

RE: When A Pro-Domme Starts Having Sex (for money) With... - 12/19/2015 9:37:16 PM

DocStrange

Posts: 1076
Joined: 6/10/2015
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Going off topic just a little:
If you are interested in the origins/history of the term Dominatrix. Look up the book "The History & Arts of the Dominatrix" By Anne O Nomis. You can find it on Google Books. Chapter III was a little surprising as the term "Dominatrix" was first coined in Bruce Rogers' " The Bizarre Love Makers" circa 1927. The book has a lot of good early history that few seem to know about.

https://books.google.com/books?id=yjJjAgAAQBAJ&lpg=PP1&dq=The%20History%20%26%20Arts%20of%20the%20Dominatrix&pg=PP1#v=onepage&q=The%20History%20&%20Arts%20of%20the%20Dominatrix&f=false

< Message edited by DocStrange -- 12/19/2015 9:40:20 PM >

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Post #: 16

RE: When A Pro-Domme Starts Having Sex (for money) With... - 12/20/2015 3:58:01 AM

thishereboi

Posts: 14463
Joined: 6/19/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ProDommeNY

Sweety, of course it does. I've been a Pro-Domme for over 4 years and if sex wasn't included I would be out of a job! What on earth made you think intercourse wasn't part of being a Pro-Domme?

Could be he has met pro-dommes who didn't have sex with their clients. I know almost all of the ones I have met in this area don't and they still managed to get clients.

To the op, in my opinion when they accept cash for sex they have just added prostitute to their job title. As far as I know, no one has changed the definition so it is what it is.

What amazes me, especially on this site, is how closed minded people get when they hear the word. Who gives a fuck if she charges or not? If you are not interested in paying then find someone who doesn't charge and don't get your panties all wadded up because the guy next door would rather pay for his. It's really none of your business.

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Post #: 17

RE: When A Pro-Domme Starts Having Sex (for money) With... - 12/20/2015 4:58:10 AM

wittynamehere

Posts: 759
Joined: 2/5/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ReMakeYou
It's a very rare professional who does not make a living doing what they're a pro at. Most pro dommes will therefore get paid.

Your generalization doesn't fit at least 50% of the population - men. We can be just as professional as women can, when it comes to dominating others, but it's a VERY rare professional male dominant who can make a living doing what they're a pro at. Your statement works for a lot of professional female dominants, though.
So you can't just be good at what you do. You also have to be in high demand and low supply, or you can't monetize what you do.

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RE: When A Pro-Domme Starts Having Sex (for money) With... - 12/20/2015 3:22:02 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

Pro doms that service the gay community make a living at it though. You need to market to your audience. If McDonalds put up a franchise in New Delhi, with the same menu they have here, they'd go under. Doesn't mean there's no market for their typical menu. It would just mean some idiot didn't look at who his market would be and seek to service their needs.

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Post #: 19

RE: When A Pro-Domme Starts Having Sex (for money) With... - 12/20/2015 10:41:04 PM

TNDommeK

Posts: 7153
Joined: 3/13/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ProDommeNY

Sweety, of course it does. I've been a Pro-Domme for over 4 years and if sex wasn't included I would be out of a job! What on earth made you think intercourse wasn't part of being a Pro-Domme?

I've been a pro for well over four years and I haven't had sex once. That will never be a part of my session. And in case you're wondering, I do get plenty of clients.

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Post #: 20

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