WinsomeDefiance
Posts: 6719
Joined: 8/7/2007
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Cell
I'm wondering, do the people that visit these clubs get any kind of introduction etc? Like does anyone talk to them about basic etiquette?
Speaking as someone who doesn't attend kink clubs, if I were to walk in off the street and see naked people tied up, being played with and maybe sexual stuff going on, I don't think it would be my fault if I didn't know which way was up =|
I mean, theres probably a heap of terms like master, slave, submissive, dominant being thrown around, half the people on here can't even agree what they mean or what the conventions around them are... is there a sign up saying look but don't touch?
It's funny how a lot of you seem to think it's common sense, but with the amount of fantasy floating around with the fact regarding BDSM... Cutting some slack is probably a good idea in some cases.
Back around 1998, we incorporated our group as a 501C (I think that is right, been a LONG time). Our play space was, originally my boyfriends house. When I moved in with him, we lost that space so we had to look into how to continue throwing parties at a different venue. Already having an existing group with existing rules before anyone could attend a party:
First, Attend a few munches, which were private and designed to be intimate meetings/classes to discuss basic BDSM safety etand basic dungeon ettiquette.
Second, Be invited. Usually you weren't invited until you had attended a few munches and the host was comfortable enough to invite you to his home.
Once invited you were required to read, discuss and sign dungeon etiquette rules and Be responsible for your behavior.
When we formed the non-profit, current members paid membership dues and I found a place for our new dungeon. As a guest, You could only attend with a member. Members knew that if they invited a guest, and that guest behaved badly or caused problems for the club - both guest and the sponsoring member had to leave, and the member lost their membership privileges.
Classes/discussions were held at the munches, a separate place from the dungeon. Mentoring classes were held for new players, dominants mentoring dominants; submissives mentoring submissives etc. ( many years later I attended a Leather Leadership Conference and the members of that group - which had evolved and grown - were hosting and teaching at the conference, and while attending one of the mentor seminars - the speaker pointed me out and said, "Right there is one of my mentors who welcomed me into the community and helped guide me in my BDSM journey." One of my favorite memories.)
No one....EVER walked in off the streets into our dungeon, and though it is not longer Incorporated and has changed venues - the group itself still exists nearly 20 years later. I'm humbled to have been part of its earlier beginnings. I like to believe it is, in part, due to a strong foundation formed from common sense and learning from mistakes. I can't lay claim to its success, but I do take great pride in having had a small part in its infancy.
Most of the clubs I've been to have been set up largely in this manner, with the exception of Detroit. Detroit utilized Fet, and word of mouth. You'd have to know someone who knew where the club was. I can't say no one ever walked in off the streets. That was, admittedly, an uncomfortable concern for me. It didn't feel private enough, but - I guess there is almost a cultural divide between Detroits beginnings and how Baton Rouge and New Orleans managed their groups.
Fun times. I'm feeling a bit homesick :)
< Message edited by WinsomeDefiance -- 1/17/2016 12:27:26 PM >
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