RE: Fetish delivery system vs financial delivery system

RE: Fetish delivery system vs financial delivery system (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion

Message

jj292 -> RE: Fetish delivery system vs financial delivery system (4/10/2016 4:05:46 PM)
In the vanilla world as a whole, there are actually more women than men. Tons of single women out there. But men seem to be far more aggressive on the dating scene, and finding the right person isn't always easy. But there are "plenty of fish in the sea" as the old saying goes. Finding a single woman in the vanilla world isn't really all that difficult. But in the BDSM world, there does appear to be far more men than women. But again, finding statistics on such a thing is difficult. It could just be perception because the men are just more aggressive in a search. Men tend to throw themselves out there while women tend to be more reserved.

FieryOpal -> RE: Fetish delivery system vs financial delivery system (4/10/2016 4:25:32 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyPact My final number was three. A hundred bottom/submissive/slave guys compared to three Dominant women who might be looking to play, have sex, enter a FL relationship. With those kind of numbers, this is not where I'd be placing my chips for the highest rate of success. And there's the rub. If a Domme is poly, then she may be open to considering 1-2 additional subs. But only for specific types of service or for non-sexual play. That rules out a whole big chunk of fetishes and kinks that are not going to get fulfilled, depending on whether she considers physical contact with a man's genitalia (chastity, milking, CBT) to be sexual in nature. Keeping with your results, assuming that the average Domme seeks 1 sub (Domme signed up but is not actively seeking [0 openings], attached Domme already has primary partner and seeks a steady play partner and/or to own a non-sexual service sub [2 openings], unattached Domme seeks sub partner [1 opening]), then even if we go for 100:3 ratio, how many of these 3 FemDoms want or would need to look on line for casual play? How many are only interested in certain kinds of play, or who aren't into crossdressers or who don't want a foot fetishist? Maybe she's not into finding an oral slave or an anal slut, doesn't want or need another rope bunny/jack rabbit. How many fetish and kink-specific males are there out there? Plenty of them WHO DO NOT MATCH UP with what a Domme might be seeking. quote: ORIGINAL: DocStrange I have seen that 100:1 ratio for a long time. Give or take a few people. And the website does not matter. Yahoo groups was that way, even the CRC chatrooms before that. And even before that I saw in an electronic BBS (pre internet). The law of supply and demand comes into play when you have a 100:1 ratio of anything. People, men in this case, offer money to get what they seek. Pro Dommes and Fin Dommes would be almost non existent if the ratio was 1:1 or even 2:1. As to way there is only 1 dominant per 100 men? Who knows. Sounds like a good research project :) The caveat is available Domme, or one who is actively seeking. Many Dommes are already off the market, or else don't stay on the market for very long, depending on her needs. There are also Dominant women who want an FLR lifestyle commitment, not BDSM play. (Not to mention bisexual Dommes whose sub openings will vary or alternate between seeking a male or a female at any given time -- although I will mention it because this sexual orientation impacts supply & demand and affects how males must compete for limited resources.) [Edited for Clarity]

LadyPact -> RE: Fetish delivery system vs financial delivery system (4/10/2016 5:38:38 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Zonie63 In my observation browsing the female profiles here, I find that a lot of women (possibly even the majority) list their sexuality as "bisexual." I haven't counted, although I've seen it so often that it might skew the numbers if they're excluded from the stats. I do freely admit that was my own laziness. [;)] I wish now I had at least taken note of bisexual and/or switch profiles, even if I hadn't tried to figure out how they would have applied to the ratios. Along with not wanting to invest too much time into this (via profile reading) there were two quagmires that I had no way to address. One was the issue of fake profiles. We know that cis males are more likely to create a profile of another gender. Even reading the boards, you'll see a lot more males admit to creating female profiles than you see women creating male profiles. (Various reasons for that.) Another was the discrepancy between acceptability, or lack thereof, regarding bisexual women as opposed to bisexual men. Something we see more of online than we do in the physical world but still makes things difficult. quote: I have looked at sites like Alexa which rate the demographics of site visitors, and it's true that men outnumber women on dating sites - except for religious dating sites, where there are more women than men. The other area worth investigating are sites like "Our Time" that are specifically for a certain age demographic. They list 52% women and 48% men. quote: Even before the internet, I would read printed personal ads in various publications, and "men seeking women" always outnumbered "women seeking men." And, as you pointed out, the ratio is even more lopsided between submissive men and dominant women. I'm not sure if it's 50:1, though. That seems a bit too high. I happen to agree. My suspicion on at least part of this is the multiple profile issue. There's no way for me to know which, if any, demographic are the most prolific creators of multiple profiles, but if we know there is a gender gap, that gap is going to appear to be more broadened. (I'm not going to try to account for certain 'trends' that we've seen, like the sudden rush of 23 year old, bisexual, female submissives that we had there at one time.) quote: On its face, it seems like it's a great deal for women, since they have the luxury of being able to choose between dozens of men contacting them. Yet, I still see plenty of profiles from women who have been on the site for years and still can't seem to find a suitable match. This is where all the number-crunching doesn't add up. If a woman checks her inbox and finds 100 messages from a bunch of desperate, horny, creepy guys, there may be that one guy who might be suitable but whose message gets lost in the shuffle. I sometimes wonder if that happens. We could talk all day about this one. You see more on the profile side regarding women than I do and I look at the forums more. If we start talking about multiple years, there's a fairly high percentage of women who have connected with at least one relationship during their time here. Not all relationships will be permanent, as in lived happily ever after, so that goes to varying degrees. I'm sure this happens on the profile side, too. People meet a match, date for six months, break-up, and come back to try again. Me? I think that's perfectly normal to date a number of people over the course of a lifetime. Some relationships work out and others don't. quote: As for this site - at least on the profiles side - I recognized that there is a certain level of...toxicity. There's something about the processes which take place here which seems "off," yet I can't quite put my finger on what it is. I think it has to be accepted that a certain percentage of what happens on the personals side is crap. It's certainly not everyone. Anonymity of the internet accounts for some. We also have to accept that alternative lifestyles can attract some really messed up people.

littleclip -> RE: Fetish delivery system vs financial delivery system (4/10/2016 6:25:50 PM)
yes i have seen the disparity of more males to females many times in different dungeons and meet and greets the Domme are overwhelmed and can feel like there just being hunted by a pack of hopeful males. i much prefer to see someone play first and ask about them before i approach them

DocStrange -> RE: Fetish delivery system vs financial delivery system (4/10/2016 8:06:18 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: jj292 In the vanilla world as a whole, there are actually more women than men. Tons of single women out there. But men seem to be far more aggressive on the dating scene, and finding the right person isn't always easy. But there are "plenty of fish in the sea" as the old saying goes. Finding a single woman in the vanilla world isn't really all that difficult. That is somewhat true. It depends on age. The older you get, there is a tendency to have more available single women. http://www.citylab.com/housing/2015/02/where-in-the-us-are-there-more-single-men-than-women/385369/ quote: But in the BDSM world, there does appear to be far more men than women. But again, finding statistics on such a thing is difficult. It could just be perception because the men are just more aggressive in a search. Men tend to throw themselves out there while women tend to be more reserved. I do not agree with that statement. There are a lot of women into BDSM. If you include switches, subs, etc, the numbers are not that terribly skewed. I often see as many women at clubs/gatherings as I do men. But of those women few are Dommes. And that is the big gap, the ratio of female Dommes to male subs.

Zonie63 -> RE: Fetish delivery system vs financial delivery system (4/11/2016 4:48:08 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyPact One was the issue of fake profiles. We know that cis males are more likely to create a profile of another gender. Even reading the boards, you'll see a lot more males admit to creating female profiles than you see women creating male profiles. (Various reasons for that.) Another was the discrepancy between acceptability, or lack thereof, regarding bisexual women as opposed to bisexual men. Something we see more of online than we do in the physical world but still makes things difficult. I think it's the fake profiles that bug me the most. I've known women to create male profiles, but not so much on dating sites (that I know of). But some women admit to creating male profiles on gaming and political sites, since such sites also tend to be overwhelmingly male. I can understand their reasons for doing so, but that's worlds apart from those who set up fake accounts to scam people. I agree that it's generally more acceptable for a woman to identify as bisexual than a man. quote: ORIGINAL: LadyPact The other area worth investigating are sites like "Our Time" that are specifically for a certain age demographic. They list 52% women and 48% men. Yes, the numbers start to balance out as we get older. I remember after my grandmother died, my grandfather (who was in pretty good shape and looked much younger than he actually was) generated some level of interest from other widows in his age group. But at that point, he had absolutely zero interest or desire in having any kind of relationship with a woman. quote: ORIGINAL: LadyPact I happen to agree. My suspicion on at least part of this is the multiple profile issue. There's no way for me to know which, if any, demographic are the most prolific creators of multiple profiles, but if we know there is a gender gap, that gap is going to appear to be more broadened. (I'm not going to try to account for certain 'trends' that we've seen, like the sudden rush of 23 year old, bisexual, female submissives that we had there at one time.) I've noticed things like that, too, although they're easy to spot since they're all written in the same style and usually have some stolen pic (which are also getting easier to spot). quote: ORIGINAL: LadyPact We could talk all day about this one. You see more on the profile side regarding women than I do and I look at the forums more. If we start talking about multiple years, there's a fairly high percentage of women who have connected with at least one relationship during their time here. Not all relationships will be permanent, as in lived happily ever after, so that goes to varying degrees. I'm sure this happens on the profile side, too. People meet a match, date for six months, break-up, and come back to try again. Me? I think that's perfectly normal to date a number of people over the course of a lifetime. Some relationships work out and others don't. This is true. But I was also noting some complaints that seem relatively common - that there are a plethora of guys wanting to goof around online but had no real interest in a face-to-face meeting. Similarly, I've noticed more and more profiles from women who are interested in online only. Personally, I never could get into that. I never could understand the fascination. I can't even count the number of profiles from women (mostly dommes but quite a few subs) where they exude a great deal of anger and frustration, saying things like "I'm sick of this shit" and "Isn't there one sub out there who is serious?" quote: ORIGINAL: LadyPact I think it has to be accepted that a certain percentage of what happens on the personals side is crap. It's certainly not everyone. Anonymity of the internet accounts for some. We also have to accept that alternative lifestyles can attract some really messed up people. Yeah, the internet has many pitfalls. I learned that over 20 years ago when I first got online. Some of the profiles I've seen are downright scary, making me think the person is pretty messed up or they're looking to prey on messed up people. I had a life before the internet, and maybe I'm a bit mellower these days - so I take a lot of this in stride. I take sort of a philosophical view on life, but I don't take it all that seriously - not as much as I used to. But for younger guys like Nick, I can understand their frustration and anger. Of course, we're all keenly aware of the lopsided ratios, but if one does a search for female profiles seeking sub men, one might see how it can affect someone's perception if they're looking at profile after profile. If one spends too much time browsing profiles which continuously say "you suck," "it's all about me," "you're nothing," "you suck," "I'm disgusted by you freaks," "you suck," over and over and over again, it's probably going to have a skewed and deleterious effect on one's psyche. Not all profiles are written that way; many of the domme's profiles are quite polite and well-written. But it's difficult enough to be a sub male as it is. We already know society doesn't think too highly of us, so when we come to a BDSM site and see the same crap on a regular basis, I can understand that there's a strong desire to lash out angrily.

Andalusite -> RE: Fetish delivery system vs financial delivery system (4/11/2016 10:17:16 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: respectmen quote: One is a business arrangment. A client wants a service and is willing to pay for it, the provider provides the service and accepts the payment. It is also a business arrangement for a man who wants a fetish delivery system interacting with a woman who wants a fetish delivery system. Or is it that you think the woman is worth more than the man? Nope, that's not a business arrangement. It's not that the woman is worth more than the man, either. For me, play is equal and I would be insulted if someone tried to offer to pay me. However, I don't want to be treated like a fetish delivery system. I'm fine with service topping, fulfilling special requests, etc., but I want to be a person, not an actress in their custom porn scenario. [:'(] quote: ORIGINAL: respectmen quote: The other is someone trying to have their fetishes met for free and allowing their genitals to dictate how they communicate those desires. So just because men have a sexuality too, like women, they are expected to pay pay pay. For what? for having a sexuality, just like women. If they expect it for free, its wrong...because women are more worthy than men?It's hilarious how being PC and modern these days, we are supposed to liberate female sexuality. But there is nothing liberating at all with male sexuality when you think its wrong for a male to expect sexual wants for free. I don't expect or want men to pay. If a man wants his sexual wants without any regard for his partner, no woman is likely to want to be with him unless he does pay her. I just wouldn't be involved in any way, and wouldn't be interested in such a man. quote: ORIGINAL: respectmen How the flying fuck isn't it a comparative value if what the man is offering is what the woman wants and what the woman is offering is what the man wants? Unless you are trying to say that the worth of a woman is more than the worth of a man. ... If the man wants casual and the woman wants casual too and if the man wants the woman and the woman wants the man too. Most women here don't want what the men here are offering, though. Even when I was playing casually, I only did so with people who I'd met in person and usually talked with quite a bit first. I also was primarily playing with the hope of it developing into something more, though it obviously wasn't guaranteed. A lot of guys here wanted to play casually, but wanted it to be sexual, or wanted to play in private which didn't feel as safe to me, or didn't seem to be interested in getting to know me as an individual person. quote: ORIGINAL: respectmen That said, a top wouldn't agree to play with a bottom to begin with if they aren't going to enjoy it also. If the top enjoys it just like the bottom enjoys it, that is an equal exchange. Last time I checked, the bottom is also providing a fetish delivery system...unless a top is being forced at gun point to play with the said bottom or is being paid for it. When I play with someone, as a top, a bottom, or as a switch, I don't want a fetish delivery system, and I don't want to be one. Even when I'm service topping, or my partner is, we still see each other as people, react to each other's reactions, etc. quote: ORIGINAL: respectmen quote: No, it's not a mutual agreement. It's not an agreement until the two people say they are going to play together. Ummm duh, where did I say that rape or non consensual sexual assault is a mutual agreement? I'm not sure if you are either purposely taking what I say out of context or you are actually so stupidly paranoid that you really believe within my statement I mean regardless if a bitch gets raped. I think you completely misinterpreted Lady Pact here. Some men assume that any woman who shares their fetishes will automatically want to play with them, and get rude and nasty if she doesn't. She's not talking about men raping women here, just about being pushy via e-mail, as far as I can tell.

Greta75 -> RE: Fetish delivery system vs financial delivery system (4/12/2016 12:52:23 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: respectmen It is also a business arrangement for a man who wants a fetish delivery system interacting with a woman who wants a fetish delivery system. Or is it that you think the woman is worth more than the man? If there is no money involved, it's not a business arrangement. What other businesses do you do that you consider it a business and receive no income from doing it? That's called volunteering or charity. Not a business. A business is about making money.

RogueCell -> RE: Fetish delivery system vs financial delivery system (4/12/2016 4:29:12 PM)
Doctors are on strike in the UK because the govt is withdrawing fair pay for their services. If you engage people for a service*, you should assume there is a fair cost. Or they won't do it. The actual cost is negotiable. Fact of the matter is, mostly: women are the providers and men are the consumers. Twas ever thus.

respectmen -> RE: Fetish delivery system vs financial delivery system (4/14/2016 2:10:59 AM)
Ladypact quote: Nope. Didn't say that at all. YOU assigned genders to this. Not me. I am saying though that more often than not, the top is probably bringing more to the table. See, if you suck as a bottom, I'm just not going to have as much fun. If I suck as a top, just think of what I could do to you. Nerve damage, burns, infection... The list goes on and on. You, and every other bottom out there, might want to think about that a little bit. You can think you are the "scene queen" all you want. I think nearly every guy out there is simply interested in if you provide what he likes or not. You seem to be using this discussion to boast about yourself. I don't think nearly everyone in this forum gives a fuck. You can think you are shit hot all you want, that doesn't mean others think so. That said, you boasting about your self has absolutely nothing to do with what this thread is supposed to be about. When I start threads, it's funny when people can't actually challenge what I said right from the beginning, they need to keep shifting the goalpost. quote: Can you pin point where I said I had a problem with it? I'd be happy for you. I just want you to be a little more truthful about it. In my opinion, there's a good chunk of people on this site who aren't into the casual thing (either play, sex, or both) and a lot of those people happen to be women. Okay, so you don't have a problem with it and yet you are in this thread having a go at me. quote: Nope. I'm saying, more often than not, the person with the toys and/or the skill to use them is probably the one who has the greater ability to make the play happen. If you want something as a part of your play, as a bottom, bring it with you. Yep, you have been going on and on about this and I have told you what I think. But what exactly has this got to do with what I explained in the very first post in this thread? Why did you feel the need to shift the goalpost about what toys you own? Bottoms/subs have toys and others don't, switches have toys and others don't, tops/dominants have toys and others don't. Get over it. This isn't about toys. What next? Who owns the best bed? quote: Any time I'm discussing casual play, absolutely, the toys are going to be a part of that. If your BDSM doesn't involve any, go you. So how come males are commonly bashed and put down with the "fetish delivery system" shaming tactic when toys aren't even mentioned or discussed in them said discussions? quote: Most of the people I play casually with, I'm going to meet at the club, first. It's safer for me, and frankly, it's safer for you, too. Just because I'm not bigger and stronger than you doesn't mean that I, or any other top, couldn't screw your day up once you're in a vulnerable position. Look, I really don't give a toss what you think. You try to come off as some BDSM expert and/or scene queen and try to be condescending to others with your lectures. There are lots of people on these BDSM sites who play privately and not in clubs. Everyone has their different preferences. Just because they aren't yours, it doesn't mean they are wrong. quote: OK. You don't do clubs. Are you familiar enough with clubs, etc to know that damn near all of them have in the dungeon rules somewhere, some version of "just because a person is a submissive doesn't mean they are your submissive?" Unfortunately, some people don't let that sink in for the reverse. A top who happens to be at the same event doesn't necessarily mean they are there to top you (general you). I don't give a flying fuck about clubs and I don't give a flying fuck what rules others make in the BDSM scene. Me and the person I play with make our own rules/agreements together that only apply to us. We shouldn't have to follow some ruling system just because a so called scene queen said it we have to. quote: You know that criteria that I mentioned earlier? "Do-me the way I want to get done" is the easiest way to get scratched off of my dance card. There's a different vibe to it that I don't care for. If a person wants to dictate what's going to happen, I'd highly suggest they find a service top because I'm not a good play partner for them. I just consider it basic incompatibility. So in other words, a bottom isn't entitled to seek what he simply wants unless he pays for it?...and them wants are the very reason why this certain bottom entered the BDSM scene to begin with. Yet, he is just supposed to forget about those lol. So are you expecting them to be mindless robots? They shouldn't have a personality of their own? A mind of their own? Which comes with having kinks of their own? What makes them so damn bad to seek kinks in the scene that brung them to the scene to begin with? What makes them so damn bad to seek something that they simply want? Jesus fucking christ, you have no consideration, don't you? Yet you expect others to consider your wants. Pure hypocrisy! Do you really want sexual liberation or don't you? If you do, you don't get to dictate someone else's sexuality. You don't get to dictate when they can and can't mention their sexuality. You don't get to dictate if they are right or wrong to want what's involved in their sexuality. I am so sick and tired of self centered, bigoted, hypocritical, women in here always trying to tell men what to do with their sexuality and always holding extreme prejudice and bias against male sexuality. Yet on the other hand they are all in for female sexual liberation of course. How dare men try to tell women what to do with their sexuality. quote: Holy f^ck, where did that come from? That was the best you could come up with? That only rape/sexual assault are consent violations? Bull! You know better than that. When you said this: "No, it's not a mutual agreement. It's not an agreement until the two people say they are going to play together." Which is implying that I don't mean this exact thing. If I don't mean this exact thing, it would be rape or sexual assault. Why did you even say that sentence to begin with? quote: Here's where we're different. I'm totally cool with your sexual desires. Just don't involve me in them. I don't caaaarrrreee about the fact that you want to (or don't) want to get laid just because you happen to be on the same website, or happen to be at the same club, or if you would happen to live three houses down on the same street. And, let's be honest. You really don't care about mine. I don't bug the shit out of you trying to send you emails to tell you about them or attempt to make you a part of them in any way. Do you have any idea of how many thousands of emails I've received over the years from guys wanting to tell me their sexual fantasies, desires, or their kinks? Then, they bitch because women like me don't respond. How many guy on guy emails have you received over the years that expect that kind of thing from you? If he is being pushy or pissed off that you don't like his ideas, I can see your point. But the problem I see (I'm not saying you) is that women crack a fit over just a male simply offering it which is different to being pushy and demanding. How the fuck exactly can a male get what he wants when if he ask for it, women think it's wrong to do so?...like the the " fetish delivery system" shaming tactic. Do many women in here ever consider the males point of view at all? You will never know unless you ask. Women certainly hardly do the approaching and courting work to make things happen. Women mostly expect men to do most or all the work and then whinge that they get too many males asking them to play. If women got off their fat asses and did some searching and approached people more often, they would get far less unwanted emails. But as it stands, women generally expect men to do all that work and then complain why they get too many emails asking them the same things over and over. I haven't bothered trying to chat chicks up in the BDSM scene for a long time now. At least 4 years. Kinky chicks in vanilla sites and the real world seem at least more open minded towards male sexuality than what you see in these BDSM sites. But there is still a lot of bigotry against male sexuality outside the BDSM scene of course. My point is that it seems worse here when ironically you would think a place like this would be more open. A chick outside the BDSM scene has never told me I want a fetish delivery system or I'm a "do me". Many women in the BDSM scene though seem that they just don't want male sexuality to be free.

freedomdwarf1 -> RE: Fetish delivery system vs financial delivery system (4/14/2016 3:36:51 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: respectmen So how come males are commonly bashed and put down with the "fetish delivery system" shaming tactic when toys aren't even mentioned or discussed in them said discussions? Look, I really don't give a toss what you think. You try to come off as some BDSM expert and/or scene queen and try to be condescending to others with your lectures. There are lots of people on these BDSM sites who play privately and not in clubs. Everyone has their different preferences. Just because they aren't yours, it doesn't mean they are wrong. I don't give a flying fuck about clubs and I don't give a flying fuck what rules others make in the BDSM scene. Me and the person I play with make our own rules/agreements together that only apply to us. We shouldn't have to follow some ruling system just because a so called scene queen said it we have to. So in other words, a bottom isn't entitled to seek what he simply wants unless he pays for it?...and them wants are the very reason why this certain bottom entered the BDSM scene to begin with. Yet, he is just supposed to forget about those lol. So are you expecting them to be mindless robots? They shouldn't have a personality of their own? A mind of their own? Which comes with having kinks of their own? What makes them so damn bad to seek kinks in the scene that brung them to the scene to begin with? What makes them so damn bad to seek something that they simply want? Jesus fucking christ, you have no consideration, don't you? Yet you expect others to consider your wants. Pure hypocrisy! I picked these bits because it just shows your completely idiotic and myopic PoV. You really really can't see it can you??? Let me spell it out for you in simple English...... It is NOT about being a top, bottom, switch, sub, or dominant. It is NOT about what toys or other shit you have. It is NOT about delivery systems, of any nature, anywhere. As the ladies (and some men) have told you over and over and over and over again on every single fucking thread you bring up: it's all about how you treat people as PEOPLE first, vanilla, kink, and everything else second. Even when the women are scene queens or Pro Dommes, they (generally) still want their subjects to be people first and they want themselves to be treated as people too. This is your fundamental mistake in every argument you bring forth in these debates - you objectify the women and that is just plain wrong, regardless of everything else. Until you (and other similar-minded men) recognise this fundamental flaw in your character/approach, you will always be seen and treated as nothing more than whiny old sub-standard males - even by other men. It doesn't matter what argument you bring to the table, if you dress like a clown, you are going to be treated as one. It really is as simple as that.

respectmen -> RE: Fetish delivery system vs financial delivery system (4/14/2016 3:55:22 AM)
quote: As the ladies (and some men) have told you over and over and over and over again on every single fucking thread you bring up: it's all about how you treat people as PEOPLE first, vanilla, kink, and everything else second. Even when the women are scene queens or Pro Dommes, they (generally) still want their subjects to be people first and they want themselves to be treated as people too. So why aren't women ever or hardly lectured/accused of this when they simply offer their kinks to others? Why does it only apply to men? Why is it only seen as fucking evil when men simply offer or mention their kinks but not women? quote: This is your fundamental mistake in every argument Your fundamental mistake is that you are just as bad as the women I am complaining about. You are prejudiced and biased against your own gender's sexuality. This attitude towards male sexuality is no better than slut shaming. quote: if you dress like a clown, you are going to be treated as one. This is coming from the "dom" who said a while ago in a different thread that men have to do the dance for the pussy... meaning that if women have the pussy, they make all the rules. lolz Silly little man.

freedomdwarf1 -> RE: Fetish delivery system vs financial delivery system (4/14/2016 4:17:09 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: respectmen quote: As the ladies (and some men) have told you over and over and over and over again on every single fucking thread you bring up: it's all about how you treat people as PEOPLE first, vanilla, kink, and everything else second. Even when the women are scene queens or Pro Dommes, they (generally) still want their subjects to be people first and they want themselves to be treated as people too. So why aren't women ever or hardly lectured/accused of this when they simply offer their kinks to others? Why does it only apply to men? Why is it only seen as fucking evil when men simply offer or mention their kinks but not women? Because women approach their targets as people, not objects. Whiny men like yourself, treat their intended targets as objects, not people. Even when asking or putting forth their kinks, the words are different, the phrasiology is different. Men tend to say "I want to be humiliated by a Domme". Women tend to say: "I would like humiliation with a caring but cruel sadistic Dom". Same sort of words, same audience, same kink; but different emphasis on how it is put. quote: ORIGINAL: respectmen quote: This is your fundamental mistake in every argument Your fundamental mistake is that you are just as bad as the women I am complaining about. You are prejudiced and biased against your own gender's sexuality. This attitude towards male sexuality is no better than slut shaming. And, as usual, you just can't see the nuances can you. {sigh} quote: ORIGINAL: respectmen quote: if you dress like a clown, you are going to be treated as one. This is coming from the "dom" who said a while ago in a different thread that men have to do the dance for the pussy... meaning that if women have the pussy, they make all the rules. lolz Silly little man. Yes, I said that. But the same question is being asked differently. We sensible ones realise it's a dance and we do the the dance and reap the rewards. You are like a bull in a china shop. You don't see the point in dancing and just want the trophies. Sorry dud, you need to realise the differences and learn to dance. Your approach gets you plenty of china - all broken and a huge bill. Untill you open your eyes, you are forever condemned to the life of a blind man. ETA: I was going to fix the missing 'e' from 'dude' but I think 'dud' is more appropriate. [:D]

respectmen -> RE: Fetish delivery system vs financial delivery system (4/14/2016 5:15:38 AM)
quote: Because women approach their targets as people, not objects. Can you prove that most or all men don't approach targets as people who simply offer their kinks? I don't claim to speak for most or all men. Do you claim to speak for most or all men? All I'm simply asking for is to prove how most or all men who simply seek their kinks to be fulfilled are fucking evil. quote: Whiny men like yourself, treat their intended targets as objects, not people. Quote anything from my posts and prove it. If you can't, this is telling everyone that you are a fucking liar. This makes you look like the fool. quote: Even when asking or putting forth their kinks, the words are different, the phrasiology is different. Men tend to say "I want to be humiliated by a Domme". Women tend to say: "I would like humiliation with a caring but cruel sadistic Dom". Same sort of words, same audience, same kink; but different emphasis on how it is put. So basically, as men are different, as for expressing their sexuality different, because their sexuality is simply different, they are evil for it. Rightio. Great argument you have there. Roars with laughter.

freedomdwarf1 -> RE: Fetish delivery system vs financial delivery system (4/14/2016 5:53:15 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: respectmen quote: Because women approach their targets as people, not objects. Can you prove that most or all men don't approach targets as people who simply offer their kinks? I don't claim to speak for most or all men. Do you claim to speak for most or all men? All I'm simply asking for is to prove how most or all men who simply seek their kinks to be fulfilled are fucking evil. Those who are successful at luring/catching/keeping their target do so by treating people as people first. This is true of all genders. You don't speak for most or all men, that is certain. You are in a very small minority of self-entitled men who carry a huge chip on their sagging shoulders. And we know that because you simply cannot see the nuances in behaviour and are thus treated badly. Why is this?? Because most of us LEARN the difference and adjust accordingly and generally reap the benefits. You, and a few like you, don't seem to learn the differences and continue to carry that chip on your shoulder. quote: ORIGINAL: respectmen quote: Whiny men like yourself, treat their intended targets as objects, not people. Quote anything from my posts and prove it. If you can't, this is telling everyone that you are a fucking liar. This makes you look like the fool. Pick any of your posts, from any of your ID's Nick - they are all the same. Same old shit. Same old broken record. You really haven't learnt a single thing have you? You see men through blinkered lenses and feel they are hard done by. Why? Because you either cannot, or refuse to accept that your views are counter-productive. You constantly come over as a whiny old asshat that really hasn't a clue of the real world. quote: ORIGINAL: respectmen quote: Even when asking or putting forth their kinks, the words are different, the phrasiology is different. Men tend to say "I want to be humiliated by a Domme". Women tend to say: "I would like humiliation with a caring but cruel sadistic Dom". Same sort of words, same audience, same kink; but different emphasis on how it is put. So basically, as men are different, as for expressing their sexuality different, because their sexuality is simply different, they are evil for it. Rightio. It's all a matter of presentation. Success is laying it all out neatly with that personal touch. Failure is just demanding and insisting on dishing out from a closed box. Men are different, yes. That is an indeniable fact. But to be an asshat takes determination of a cold nature. It's a bit like the old saying: I want, don't get. Unless you are a thick, uneducated moron, you learn to ask, not demand. quote: ORIGINAL: respectmen Great argument you have there. Roars with laughter. And you wonder why people see you as you are? Myopic, uneducated, blinkered, unwilling to learn, obtuse, self-entitled.... but ultimately, wrong. Laugh all you like - but you'll still carry that chip. I'll laugh too..... at you, not with you. And that makes me a better person than you'll ever be.

BondageersT -> RE: Fetish delivery system vs financial delivery system (4/14/2016 6:55:57 AM)
SERIOUSLY WTF are you talking about. xx delivery system ??

ThatDizzyChick -> RE: Fetish delivery system vs financial delivery system (4/14/2016 9:51:47 AM)
quote: All I'm simply asking for is to prove how most or all men who simply seek their kinks to be fulfilled are fucking evil. Nobody said they were, just that we aren't interested in fulfilling their kinks.

freedomdwarf1 -> RE: Fetish delivery system vs financial delivery system (4/14/2016 9:55:20 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ThatDizzyChick quote: All I'm simply asking for is to prove how most or all men who simply seek their kinks to be fulfilled are fucking evil. Nobody said they were, just that we aren't interested in fulfilling their kinks. This ^^^^^^^ And this is what he can't grasp.

OsideGirl -> RE: Fetish delivery system vs financial delivery system (4/14/2016 10:02:36 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ThatDizzyChick quote: All I'm simply asking for is to prove how most or all men who simply seek their kinks to be fulfilled are fucking evil. Nobody said they were, just that we aren't interested in fulfilling their kinks. It is this.

ReMakeYou -> RE: Fetish delivery system vs financial delivery system (4/14/2016 11:06:39 AM)
quote: Broken Record: So why aren't women ever or hardly lectured/accused of this when they simply offer their kinks to others? Why does it only apply to men? Why is it only seen as fucking evil when men simply offer or mention their kinks but not women? Will you acknowledge any or all of the following: They're not interested in the offer. Being repeatedly offered something you don't want, even if it's from different people, is annoying. Men who similarly see a lot of unwanted offers can be even more harsh. quote: freedomdwarf1: Even when asking or putting forth their kinks, the words are different, the phrasiology is different. Men tend to say "I want to be humiliated by a Domme". Women tend to say: "I would like humiliation with a caring but cruel sadistic Dom". Same sort of words, same audience, same kink; but different emphasis on how it is put. Eh. Clarifying traits you want in this ideal partner you want to slot into your life isn't necessarily seeing them as people. It's just being more specific about what your ideal is. Ideally the gal I date would be a hobbyist writer, enjoy wandering around just to see what's out there, and be a whiz in the kitchen. Expounding on how I want these traits isn't necessarily "seeing women as people", and in fact is closer to looking for some magical being who can slot effortlessly into my life without me having to do anything for her. The smarter tactic is to showcase what makes you a good pick instead. And since countless pages over countless topics over the years hasn't made a dent in Nick, I'm going to repurpose this topic so that any lurkers reading along might actually learn something. What do the regulars here think are some of the better ways to communicate that the profile writer is an interesting person worth getting to know, while still communicating their specific kinks so that like minded people can spot them easily.

Page: << < prev 1 2 3 [4] 5 next > >>

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

8.007813E-02