RE: Do you think women date up and men date down?

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

RE: Do you think women date up and men date down?

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: Do you think women date up and men date down?

Page: << < prev 3 4 5 6 [7]

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: Do you think women date up and men date down? - 4/30/2016 10:10:03 AM

Bhruic

Posts: 985
Joined: 4/11/2012
From: Toronto, Canada
Status: offline

nope

_____________________________

pronounced "VROOick"

(in reply to respectmen)

Profile

Post #: 121

RE: Do you think women date up and men date down? - 4/30/2016 12:04:54 PM

crumpets

Posts: 1614
Joined: 11/5/2014
From: South Bay (SF & Silicon Valley)
Status: offline

Not gonna read the whole thread, sorry ... but my take is what I learned from Ullr's Ishtar, which is that women don't even realize what they're doing when they're doing what they've been doing for the entire 4 million years (or so) of primate evolution.

Lot's of detail in the thread, but, men seek something different than what women seek (again, men are merely the result of the same 4 million years of primate evolution).

We seek different things.

Women, in general, seek resources.
Men, in general, seek sex.

Yes. Simple. Too simple. But, indeed, Ullr's Ishtar is both self-aware and aware of what is really happening with respect to the title of this thread.

Men don't seek resources, as a general rule, from their dating endeavor.
So, it's not that men date down; they date sideways.

Women date for resources, and, in general, that direction, one would assume, is upward.

Less self-aware women (and less self-aware men) will disagree vehemently with me, and that's fine; but it doesn't change 4 million years of primate evolution.

(in reply to Bhruic)

Profile

Post #: 122

RE: Do you think women date up and men date down? - 4/30/2016 4:15:44 PM

FieryOpal

Posts: 2821
Joined: 12/8/2013
From: Maryland
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: respectmen
Here's the rub. I believe that women who only want to date a man who earns more is feeling DEPENDENT on a man for a better life, otherwise there is no logical reason why else she would only want that.

Can you see that all who have replied to me in here seem to have a problem giving an logical and clear explanation on why a woman only wants to date a man who earns more? If women are finding it difficult to answer, it's telling that they have an hidden agenda which they don't want exposed. On the other hand, there are honest ones out there who will admit needing a man.

So that said, there are women out there who seek men for security. So now you see that I know that all women aren't independent. There are women out there who need, not only want a man. So now you see that I know not all women are unneedful for a man.

I shouldn't have had to write this in crayon for you. I believe many women, not all in regards of the honest ones and the ones with a hidden agenda, will express a mindset of being independent and not needing men. It's the modern trend for women to claim that they are this way, if they mean it or not.

You know, I'm going to refrain from bringing up your crayon box of black & white crayons which you have a tendency to favor using when scrawling out your thoughts, the pressing need for you to obtain an ombre palette of colors when you paint with broad sweeping strokes and then wait for something to stick to the wall during your tarring & feathering of modern women campaigns....

I really am, because I would like to seize upon a private observation of mine. Those who claim not to need, are often the neediest of them all. Their neediness is so great, that they've given up on ever getting their needs met. This isn't a male/female dichotomy, but a reflection of the human condition. We are a socially interdependent species, and no man, woman, or child, is an island.

So the next time you or anybody else proclaims they are independent of others, independent of needing human contact, human touch, and human interaction, you can rest assured that they are talking out of... the sides of their mouths... with a forked tongue. There are only degrees of interdependency and shades of dependency. Even reclusive isolationists need the comfort and companionship of some sort of sentient being (pets, wildlife) or life form (being surrounded by Nature).

quote:

ORIGINAL: respectmen

quote:

You probably want to get with women who are more attractive than you are.

Nope. I find the more attractive they are, the more likely their personality will be ugly and narcissistic. If an above average woman approached me, I would be skeptical about it. Like...waiting for the moment for her to ask if I want to pay her for sex or something.

I wasn't fishing for information, but I chose the word 'attractive' in lieu of desirable. The more self-absorbed a person is, the less desirable they are in my eyes, and thus unattractive to me.

But I do sense an inner conflict within you. You want to be approached and for an attractive woman to do the approaching, yet it raises your suspicions if she impresses you as being above a certain attractiveness/desirability threshold. This puts you in the stalemate position of having a defensive barrier up where such a woman would have to *prove" herself to you as to her honorable intentions of wanting you for you, while she may have an entirely divergent definition of what constitutes proof of a man's honorable intent.
Chances are, neither one of you is speaking the same "love language" to make that *love* connection.

Now, before you start insisting that "love" has nothing to do with it, I don't believe that you are immune to wanting to love and be loved in return. We all do. Some of us just cannot admit to it as readily as others can.

quote:

ORIGINAL: respectmen

quote:

I'm sure that if you ever did find a "keeper," you would not want to devolve into living a lifestyle which is less than what you are accustomed to under ordinary circumstances. You might on an exceptional basis, but I doubt you would intentionally seek this out--nor would you choose to stay with a woman you and your peers would look down upon for whatever reason(s).

I am open for relationships but I don't push for one. I would rather something uncomplicated and not needy. I mainly seek a long term friendship. Not a one night stand or a wham bam thank you madam.

I couldn't care less what my friends or family think about the woman I am with. All that matters is what I think of her. It's not my friends and family having a relationship with her.

I'm glad that you have opened up, because I doubt I'm the only woman who continually hears you singing the male self-entitlement to sex-on-demand song. This is the very first time I have heard this other tune of yours. You, and anyone else, can sing what you like and pursue what you want with other consenting adults, but when you keep making statements like this one below,

quote:

ORIGINAL: respectmen

quote:

As for dating styles, you don't have one because "dating" for you is a euphemism for getting laid because evidently your concept of mate selection is limited to your immediate sexual gratification.

Yes, how fucking dare a man seek sexual gratification and have a sexuality in general. He's fucking evil! But its all innocent when women do of course.

... There is a disconnect when you protest in hyperbole as if you are being unfairly judged, and not getting what you want from women who are not willing to oblige you, and who are not willing to build that bridge specifically for you to cross over to them.

It isn't about evil, being a bad person, being a good person, being indifferent, or having an arbitrary standard of absolutes pertaining to right and wrong. It's about establishing mutual consent. You both need to bridge the same divide.

BTW, if a woman's free expression of her sexuality is considered to be "innocent," then why are intentionally hurtful and degrading insults hurled at women in such a sexist manner in order to slander a woman and ruin her reputation?
A woman who gives it away is called a slut, when her actions appear to be indiscriminate and/or promiscuous.
A woman who does it for money, gifts, or to gain resources outside of a pair-bonded relationship commitment is called a whore.
When a man gets called a slut or a whore, it isn't nearly as demoralizing to him, not nearly as damaging to his psyche by a longshot.

Does a man get called a 'fucking evil' slut or a dirty whore when he acts sexually promiscuous? He might even take pride in being seen as a horndog or a whoremonger, rather than feeling mistreated and reviled. There is no comparison between what you are alleging in terms of prevailing sexist attitudes.

_____________________________

Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage. - Lao Tzu
There is no remedy for love but to love more. - Thoreau

(in reply to respectmen)

Profile

Post #: 123

RE: Do you think women date up and men date down? - 4/30/2016 5:27:27 PM

respectmen

Posts: 2042
Joined: 8/28/2015
Status: offline

quote:

You know, I'm going to refrain from bringing up your crayon box of black & white crayons which you have a tendency to favor using when scrawling out your thoughts, the pressing need for you to obtain an ombre palette of colors when you paint with broad sweeping strokes and then wait for something to stick to the wall during your tarring & feathering of modern women campaigns....

I really am, because I would like to seize upon a private observation of mine. Those who claim not to need, are often the neediest of them all. Their neediness is so great, that they've given up on ever getting their needs met. This isn't a male/female dichotomy, but a reflection of the human condition. We are a socially interdependent species, and no man, woman, or child, is an island.

So the next time you or anybody else proclaims they are independent of others, independent of needing human contact, human touch, and human interaction, you can rest assured that they are talking out of... the sides of their mouths... with a forked tongue. There are only degrees of interdependency and shades of dependency. Even reclusive isolationists need the comfort and companionship of some sort of sentient being (pets, wildlife) or life form (being surrounded by Nature).

I can probably come to agreement with this, not completely though.

The fact of the matter is that if women only want to date men who earn more, it's telling that she is looking to leech from his better lifestyle. She expects him to provide something better than what she has and yet has nothing in comparison in return.

That is very self entitled behaviour! That is worse than a man just simply thinking he is entitled to sex with the average woman.

quote:

I wasn't fishing for information, but I chose the word 'attractive' in lieu of desirable. The more self-absorbed a person is, the less desirable they are in my eyes, and thus unattractive to me.

Yep, I agree with that. Just like the ones who only expect a partner who earns more. That is a great definition of being self absorbed. I avoid these women like the plague. Even if I was a billionaire, I would still avoid these types of women with this mentality.

quote:

But I do sense an inner conflict within you. You want to be approached and for an attractive woman to do the approaching, yet it raises your suspicions if she impresses you as being above a certain attractiveness/desirability threshold. This puts you in the stalemate position of having a defensive barrier up where such a woman would have to *prove" herself to you as to her honorable intentions of wanting you for you, while she may have an entirely divergent definition of what constitutes proof of a man's honorable intent.
Chances are, neither one of you is speaking the same "love language" to make that *love* connection.

It's mostly women who expect men to do the approaching and most to all the work while they sit on their self entitled lazy arses and judge. It's putting up an defensive barrier when women think a male is by default under the suspicion of being an evil user for sex. It's mostly women expecting men to jump hoops to do all this "proving ones self" while men do it to women in a far lesser degree or hardly at all.

quote:

I'm glad that you have opened up, because I doubt I'm the only woman who continually hears you singing the male self-entitlement to sex-on-demand song

It would be interesting to see your explanation on how exactly I appear "self entitled"? So in other words, if a man simply wants sexual gratification or sex with the average woman, it means he's self entitled? Are women "self entitled" too if they want sexual gratification or sex from men? Why does this only seem to apply to men? This is just as bad and damaging to the person than slut shaming.

Speaking of being "self entitled"...last time I checked, women generally expect more from the opposite gender compared to what men generally expect from the opposite gender. A man is deemed as "self entitled" for expecting to be with the average woman while a woman is not deemed to be "self entitled" when she is expecting the top 1 percent of men available or a male who earns more than her.

So can you see the totally irony when a woman criticises a male for being self entitled? The irony is fucking massive. A person who thinks they are entitled to more from the opposite gender compared to the ones they are criticising who are expecting less from the opposite gender are being deemed as self entitled lol.

quote:

... There is a disconnect when you protest in hyperbole as if you are being unfairly judged

Fucking oath men are. Women create more barriers for male sexuality compared to men creating barriers for female sexuality.

quote:

BTW, if a woman's free expression of her sexuality is considered to be "innocent," then why are intentionally hurtful and degrading insults hurled at women in such a sexist manner in order to slander a woman and ruin her reputation?
A woman who gives it away is called a slut, when her actions appear to be indiscriminate and/or promiscuous.
A woman who does it for money, gifts, or to gain resources outside of a pair-bonded relationship commitment is called a whore.
When a man gets called a slut or a whore, it isn't nearly as demoralizing to him, not nearly as damaging to his psyche by a longshot.

Anyone's sexuality isn't considered innocent when considering the professional side of things in life such as career. Other than that, female sexuality is hardly deemed as evil and mostly seen as innocent. Slut shaming isn't a trend no more, it's reached it's expiry date. The vast majority of time, the people who slut shame are women, not men. When men call women a slut, it's more to do with a random personal insult, a random way of name calling rather than actually using it correctly and directly to the real meaning. Such like a male knows nothing about the said woman or her sex life but just randomly calls her a slut if she annoys him in any way that has nothing to do with sex. Men also use it as a cursing word. Like you are playing pool and take a shot and miss. They say, damn, ya slut, to the pool ball.

A man who would expect money, gifts, for sex would be laughed at and judged no better than being called a whore. He would be an social outcast.

As to the very last thing you said in that quote, I think it's more demoralizing and damaging to a person to deem them as creeps, rapey, sleazeballs, evil users, than it is to simply slut or whore shame. I would prefer to get called a slut or whore anyday compared to the former.

< Message edited by respectmen -- 4/30/2016 5:31:34 PM >

(in reply to FieryOpal)

Profile

Post #: 124

RE: Do you think women date up and men date down? - 5/3/2016 7:10:26 PM

Andalusite

Posts: 2492
Joined: 1/25/2009
Status: offline

I've dated guys who made more money than me, and ones who made less money than me. Guys don't generally get called sluts, certainly not in a derogatory way. So, it doesn't hurt you the way it does women. You are a creep, based on what you've said here. You seem to also want to use women. Those aren't insults, they are directly based on what you are saying about women.

(in reply to respectmen)

Profile

Post #: 125