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RE: Feminists want equality, except when paying for dates - 8/15/2016 3:03:53 PM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		Yanno, regarding the actual topic, I have been the payer, the one being treated, and in situations where each person took care of their own. I really don't understand why this is an issue. If a person can't afford to pay, they shouldn't initiate a 'date'. Or, they should be creative. Not all great dates have to cost money. To be honest, if I was actually dating, something creative and thoughtful would impress me far more than the easy way out of an expensive dinner and so forth.

For ME, it's about spending time with a person and having, and giving, undivided attention. I'd rather have a cold sandwich picnic in a park without cell phone interruptions than an expensive dinner with a person that can't stop checking their phone.

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Profile   Post #: 221
RE: Feminists want equality, except when paying for dates - 8/15/2016 3:08:12 PM   
JeffBC


Posts: 5799
Joined: 2/12/2012
From: Canada
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: longwayhome
Yep, I'm not sure whether I'm more frightened about having to endure a meal with some of these guys, or being stung to pay for it.

This.

Honestly it seems like an awful lot of folks on this thread don't have the basic social skills to work out a dinner event which, presumably, both want to attend. It makes me wonder how, if they cannot negotiate a restaurant check, they hope to manage the really hairy stuff that will happen in a long-term relationship.

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RE: Feminists want equality, except when paying for dates - 8/15/2016 3:48:06 PM   
WhoreMods


Posts: 10691
Joined: 5/6/2016
Status: offline 		Maybe that's why they're such bitter, lonely, angry and resentful whingebags?

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RE: Feminists want equality, except when paying for dates - 8/15/2016 4:55:34 PM   
Awareness


Posts: 3918
Joined: 9/8/2010
Status: offline 		Ah, I see the children have finally shown up.

You really are quite nasty little pieces of shit, aren't you.

No, don't answer - we already know.

Thank you, come again!

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RE: Feminists want equality, except when paying for dates - 8/15/2016 7:32:16 PM   
Aylee


Posts: 24103
Joined: 10/14/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse


quote:

ORIGINAL: Aylee


quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse


quote:

ORIGINAL: sloguy02246


quote:

ORIGINAL: Awareness

Ad hominem, you pitiful excuse for a man.



The irony is absolutely incredible.


Indeed.



LaT! You're alive! How have you been?



I am doing fabulously, thank you for asking. So well that it would cause ole unaware there, to chew glass in frustration. How are you?


Doing quite well. Much better than I thought I would be three years ago.

Now if I can just last two more weeks until the kiddos go back to school!

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RE: Feminists want equality, except when paying for dates - 8/15/2016 9:24:49 PM   
respectmen


Posts: 2042
Joined: 8/28/2015
Status: offline 		Women have no right to say "who ask pays" when they aren't willing to do the asking out to begin with!

In any website, how much luck will most men have if they never make the first move, even the first email?

It's always bloody men expected to do all of that. To be a woman on any website, you don't have to do anything except exist.

Its extremely unfair and unjustified to place the "who ask pays" rule when most of one gender aren't willing to do that work to begin with.

That said, it bothers me that a woman is never called a cheapskate or get ridiculed by others in any way if she was the one who did the asking out and refuses to pay for the man. In fact if a woman did do the asking out and the man complained about her not paying for him, I am sure he would get laughed at and ridiculed.




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Profile   Post #: 226
RE: Feminists want equality, except when paying for dates - 8/15/2016 10:18:04 PM   
Aylee


Posts: 24103
Joined: 10/14/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: respectmen

Women have no right to say "who ask pays" when they aren't willing to do the asking out to begin with!

In any website, how much luck will most men have if they never make the first move, even the first email?

It's always bloody men expected to do all of that. To be a woman on any website, you don't have to do anything except exist.

Its extremely unfair and unjustified to place the "who ask pays" rule when most of one gender aren't willing to do that work to begin with.

That said, it bothers me that a woman is never called a cheapskate or get ridiculed by others in any way if she was the one who did the asking out and refuses to pay for the man. In fact if a woman did do the asking out and the man complained about her not paying for him, I am sure he would get laughed at and ridiculed.






Bite me.

When I was 16 (over two decades ago) I asked out Ryan Cordini. Not only did I pay, but I drove as well. Because, the person who asks, pays.

The first meal out that my late husband and I had, I was seeing someone else and we worked in the same department. It was lunch and we each paid for ourselves. Later when we did date, I do not remember how exactly we decide on who pays, but it was likely that we took turns. We did a lot of game nights though.

While my dating history is not extensive, I have always spoken up if I wanted to go somewhere or do something with someone. However, I have a low need for affiliation, so it is rather rare.

Oh. . . and if I want to do something and no one else wants to. . . I am going anyways.

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I don’t always wgah’nagl fhtagn. But when I do, I ph’nglui mglw’nafh R’lyeh.

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RE: Feminists want equality, except when paying for dates - 8/15/2016 10:40:39 PM   
stef


Posts: 10215
Joined: 1/26/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: respectmen

That said, it bothers me that a woman is never called a cheapskate or get ridiculed by others in any way if she was the one who did the asking out and refuses to pay for the man.

When has a woman ever asked you to do anything other than get away from them?

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Profile   Post #: 228
RE: Feminists want equality, except when paying for dates - 8/15/2016 11:25:15 PM   
Dvr22999874


Posts: 2849
Joined: 9/11/2008
Status: offline 		I figure that if the meal is over, I call for the bill. if the person opposite me says "I'll pay " , or "I'll pay for my own", I just agree and take the chance of being called a cheapskate later when they talk to their friends . What does it matter in the long run ? At least I can't be called a disagreeable cheapskate and I have been called a LOT worse things.

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Profile   Post #: 229
RE: Feminists want equality, except when paying for dates - 8/15/2016 11:41:55 PM   
respectmen


Posts: 2042
Joined: 8/28/2015
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: stef


quote:

ORIGINAL: respectmen

That said, it bothers me that a woman is never called a cheapskate or get ridiculed by others in any way if she was the one who did the asking out and refuses to pay for the man.

When has a woman ever asked you to do anything other than get away from them?


Last night. Gotta larf

Who would want you stef? You're just a chauvinist little twat that always wants privileges for women.

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Profile   Post #: 230
RE: Feminists want equality, except when paying for dates - 8/16/2016 12:13:07 AM   
Dvr22999874


Posts: 2849
Joined: 9/11/2008
Status: offline 		Why should it ever bother ANYbody what somebody else is called or not called. It doesn't bother me what I'M called so that sure as hell wouldn't.


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Profile   Post #: 231
RE: Feminists want equality, except when paying for dates - 8/16/2016 12:18:08 AM   
stef


Posts: 10215
Joined: 1/26/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: respectmen

Last night. Gotta larf

Your hand is not a woman, Nicky.

quote:

Who would want you stef? You're just a chauvinist little twat that always wants privileges for women.

It appears that you can add "chauvinist" to the list of words to which you don't know the definition. That's got to be a HUGE list by now. It might be easier if we just got you an OED and you crossed off the words you do understand. Shouldn't take long at all.

As far as privilege is concerned, only a whiny babyman would say that equality is a privilege.


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RE: Feminists want equality, except when paying for dates - 8/16/2016 12:22:27 AM   
Dvr22999874


Posts: 2849
Joined: 9/11/2008
Status: offline 		I thought we had already been through the original meaning of chauvinism and Nicolas Chauvin in a another thread a long, long way away and a time long, long ago *smile*.

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Profile   Post #: 233
RE: Feminists want equality, except when paying for dates - 8/16/2016 2:25:23 AM   
ServeMistrix


Posts: 9
Joined: 2/16/2014
Status: offline 		I subscribe to the theory that whomever asks the other out on the date, is the one paying. You dont invite someone else to spend their money, thats rude. Ive paid for tons of dinners and dates because it was my idea to go do something.

The exception is, in casual situations.... say chatting by phone and you excuse yourself from convo because you want to go get something to eat, and the other party says 'yeah i should do that too' and it becomes a, where are you going? Sort of mutual thing.

Or in the case of things like the first meeting over coffee at starbucks etc... i prefer in those cases to always pay my own way, as its less obligatory that way.

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Profile   Post #: 234
RE: Feminists want equality, except when paying for dates - 8/16/2016 2:30:18 AM   
bondageerone


Posts: 522
Joined: 6/16/2016
Status: offline 		Starbucks you cheap hooker. xx

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Profile   Post #: 235
RE: Feminists want equality, except when paying for dates - 8/16/2016 2:48:11 AM   
ServeMistrix


Posts: 9
Joined: 2/16/2014
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: bondageerone

Starbucks you cheap hooker. xx




Cheap? Lol I'm the one who extends invites to places that run $350 on a dinner for 2 not counting wine....

Hooker? Amusing, since Im a serial monogamist that only has sex within a relationship and 90% of my relqtionships are 6 months or longer.

But you go on with your defenses child.. Im sure mum wi be along to turn your light off and send you to bed soon. Lol

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Profile   Post #: 236
RE: Feminists want equality, except when paying for dates - 8/16/2016 3:11:31 AM   
tweakabelle


Posts: 7522
Joined: 10/16/2007
From: Sydney Australia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: bounty44



though I am not a fan of the majority of lefties on the forums this is way out of line.



For once you so correct Bounty44. We can all agree on that. It doesn't matter where you are located on the political spectrum.


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Profile   Post #: 237
RE: Feminists want equality, except when paying for dates - 8/16/2016 7:12:18 AM   
Awareness


Posts: 3918
Joined: 9/8/2010
Status: offline 		The trouble with that Nick is that now you're using the tactics of feminism in an attempt to discredit your opponent. Feminists are the ones who use censorship and personal attacks on their opponents and it's the primary reason why their arguments are so weak. They focus on the individual and not the argument.

Aside from which, I thought it was kind of obvious that stef is transgender.

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RE: Feminists want equality, except when paying for dates - 8/16/2016 7:19:10 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: respectmen
Women have no right to say "who ask pays" when they aren't willing to do the asking out to begin with!

I already addressed this. If you happen to disagree that being poly, rather than being a woman, is what makes the game changer here, that's going to have to be on you. Maybe it's because you're single, but there are still a lot of people out there who don' think it's cool at all to be asked out by somebody who already has a primary partner.

quote:

In any website, how much luck will most men have if they never make the first move, even the first email?

It's always bloody men expected to do all of that. To be a woman on any website, you don't have to do anything except exist.

I wonder how many women have written peon first over the years. I'm pretty confident that they have.

I can also assure you that I don't get to meet the number of people that I do just because I exist. I've been the person plenty of times over the years that wrote emails saying we were moving to a certain community or taking a trip to somebody's area. "Hey, we're going to be at event X." How hard is that?

quote:

Its extremely unfair and unjustified to place the "who ask pays" rule when most of one gender aren't willing to do that work to begin with.

Why? You're completely skipping the point that most women are going to go where they want to go in the first place. I don't sit at home waiting for somebody to ask me if I want to go to the club. I go and I pay my door fee like everybody else.

quote:

That said, it bothers me that a woman is never called a cheapskate or get ridiculed by others in any way if she was the one who did the asking out and refuses to pay for the man. In fact if a woman did do the asking out and the man complained about her not paying for him, I am sure he would get laughed at and ridiculed.

You're incorrect there, too. Do you remember the flack I got from some people on these forums because, rather than MP and I supporting someone, I wouldn't let a certain person stay with us without financially contributing? There were definitely people who thought I was completely in the wrong for asking a grown, able-bodied man to pay three hundred a month for his own room and board. There were people who called me cheap for it, so try that song and dance on somebody else.

That other post that you put on this thread? That was absolutely despicable. What on God's green earth would possibly make you think that was ok? I don't care if her pictures are on Fet. You have no right to post them on this thread without her consent. No matter how you slice it, that was just plain slimy.


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RE: Feminists want equality, except when paying for dates - 8/16/2016 7:19:56 AM   
Lucylastic


Posts: 40310
Status: offline 		Strange but the last three people (that I have seen in the past year or so ON this forum) to have linked other peoples fetlife profile and or pics have all been men.
All assholes.


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