RE: He took on a second sub and I'm miserable

RE: He took on a second sub and I'm miserable (Full Version)

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OsideGirl -> RE: He took on a second sub and I'm miserable (8/28/2016 2:28:56 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LilJuly76 oh my I wasn't even thinking about she's thinking about that she'll be rid of the pesky little submissive, that's a good eye OsideGirl. Which is one of the reasons I was granted the power to veto. I was better at spotting it sooner than he was. I can't tell you how many we met that tried from the initial meeting to immediately insert themselves between us.

Aquanerd1983 -> RE: He took on a second sub and I'm miserable (8/28/2016 2:31:56 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: freedomdwarf1 quote: ORIGINAL: Aquanerd1983 I'm not leaving Daddy, but if it ends I've already decided I'm not jumping into another D/s relationship. It'd have to be a miracle for me to trust someone with anything other than play at the club if Daddy does me like you all have predicted. I'm worth more than that. Personally, I'd maybe have some initial discussion but get out while everything is still good. You may need to pick a different type of dynamic - not every one is the same. But to be stubborn and say you're not leaving is just typical sub frenzy denial. It can't be doing any good for anyone all the while you are thinking the way you do. It is destructive, selfish, and rather obtuse and naive. Seriously, you are poisoning this relationship with your daddy. It's not good at all and you aren't doing anyone any favours. Almost as bad as cutting your nose off to spite your face. You want to stick with it no matter what - that's definitely sub frenzy. A few of us have given you the way to bow out nicely and quietly and on good terms. You want to be booted out kicking and screaming, so it seems. Best of luck with that. And if you were my sub with that sort of defiant attitude, you'd be gone in a flash. No dominant thinks highly of subs who flounce and cling with a bratty stubborn streak. Think about it. Seriously think about what you are saying here. If you really think like that, you don't deserve him. So leave him to save myself? Hurt him before he hurts me? I don't understand. My willingness to battle my jealousy and not just give up and run away is a negative?

freedomdwarf1 -> RE: He took on a second sub and I'm miserable (8/28/2016 2:33:02 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: OsideGirl quote: ORIGINAL: LilJuly76 oh my I wasn't even thinking about she's thinking about that she'll be rid of the pesky little submissive, that's a good eye OsideGirl. Which is one of the reasons I was granted the power to veto. I was better at spotting it sooner than he was. I can't tell you how many we met that tried from the initial meeting to immediately insert themselves between us. I think for many that do not have an 'open' relationship, that would be the ultimate red line. It would be with us too - an absolute no-no and a deal breaker.

OsideGirl -> RE: He took on a second sub and I'm miserable (8/28/2016 2:44:14 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: freedomdwarf1 As for the new girl not doing things that you do, that may well suit your dady's preference. We have a friend who is as kinky as they come, bisexual and orgasms over everything. She was with her Dom for 8 years. Then one day he dumped her out of blue. He told her that he wanted to settle down, get married and have kids...and in his opinion, kinky bisexual women are not wife material. So, she thought that living without kink was a deal killer for him and it turned out it wasn't even on the list of deal killers. So, while he may be enjoying those things now, that doesnt mean they're important to him.

freedomdwarf1 -> RE: He took on a second sub and I'm miserable (8/28/2016 2:49:33 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Aquanerd1983 So leave him to save myself? Hurt him before he hurts me? I don't understand. My willingness to battle my jealousy and not just give up and run away is a negative? No, not exactly. While you are in your current state with a frothing green-eyed beast roaming around in your head, you will kill this relationship. Bow out gracefully (maybe just temporarily), and explain why. Leave on friendly terms and sort out your problem. If he is any sort of decent person, he'll understand the predicament and give you space. Willingness to battle and being an abject bratty monster are quite different. At the moment, you are the latter. You leave him to sort yourself out - that is your primary concern right now. You can't battle your jealousy while you are embroiled in the dynamic - you need to step away and deal with it before you sour the relationship permanently. And yes, it may well be to put him on hold before he hurts you - which you've already said it would. You never know, it may be just the trigger he needs to realize that you are better than the new one and he'll wait for you without her. And the reason you don't understand is because you are still stuck in sub frenzy and not able to think properly with a clear and sensible head. This is why you need to step out to deal with it because you can't in your current state of mind.

LilJuly76 -> RE: He took on a second sub and I'm miserable (8/28/2016 2:52:27 PM)
I think that's the best way to do it, that way it doesn't make you feel like he would cheat on you and want to try someone he would think is better.

LilJuly76 -> RE: He took on a second sub and I'm miserable (8/28/2016 2:59:06 PM)
tending to agree with you again freedomdwarf. her responses are childish and just because she has seen stuff at a club doesn't mean she's mentally able to be part of any BDSM dynamic. We all know what it's like to have D/s relationships, some of us know very well what a great poly relationship can be and some of us even have great D/s or M/s relationships. just by her responses here it seems to me she's not grown in the head enough to hold any type of D/s relationship, let alone being in a poly one.

OsideGirl -> RE: He took on a second sub and I'm miserable (8/28/2016 2:59:20 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LilJuly76 I think that's the best way to do it, that way it doesn't make you feel like he would cheat on you and want to try someone he would think is better. I've never really had that issue with him. The moment M figured out that someone wanted to replace me, he'd end it. The issue was more that I would see it before him, which left me dealing with someone that was doing their best to antagonize me until he did see it.

LilJuly76 -> RE: He took on a second sub and I'm miserable (8/28/2016 3:05:56 PM)
you have one of the good ones I must say OsideGirl. and like freedomdwarf has stated to the OP many times she needs to bow out gracefully and deal with her green eyed monster, personally she's not able to conduct any sort of D/s relationship, she wants to pull the strings and make everything run her way or the highway. It's going to blow up in her face if she keeps on that route.

Aquanerd1983 -> RE: He took on a second sub and I'm miserable (8/28/2016 3:16:28 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LilJuly76 you have one of the good ones I must say OsideGirl. and like freedomdwarf has stated to the OP many times she needs to bow out gracefully and deal with her green eyed monster, personally she's not able to conduct any sort of D/s relationship, she wants to pull the strings and make everything run her way or the highway. It's going to blow up in her face if she keeps on that route. What the hell could I say to make you all see how devoted I am to this guy? I'm not going to leave him. I don't have to kink your way for me to be genuine. That's bullshit If it was my way or the highway I would have hit the road already. My God, what are you people looking for for me to prove myself worthy of your way?

Aquanerd1983 -> RE: He took on a second sub and I'm miserable (8/28/2016 3:18:03 PM)
And according to you it's going to blow up whether I stay or go. You've all already decided I'm not really important to Daddy and this new girl will end up being his number one sub awesome sauce.

freedomdwarf1 -> RE: He took on a second sub and I'm miserable (8/28/2016 3:19:39 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LilJuly76 you have one of the good ones I must say OsideGirl. and like freedomdwarf has stated to the OP many times she needs to bow out gracefully and deal with her green eyed monster, personally she's not able to conduct any sort of D/s relationship, she wants to pull the strings and make everything run her way or the highway. It's going to blow up in her face if she keeps on that route. I would expect to see this sort sort of attitude and behaviour of a green teenager. But a 33yo married woman?? Soo naive and selfish and in total denial. She will kill it if she doesn't deal with the situation (her jealousy) properly.

Aquanerd1983 -> RE: He took on a second sub and I'm miserable (8/28/2016 3:22:25 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: freedomdwarf1 quote: ORIGINAL: LilJuly76 you have one of the good ones I must say OsideGirl. and like freedomdwarf has stated to the OP many times she needs to bow out gracefully and deal with her green eyed monster, personally she's not able to conduct any sort of D/s relationship, she wants to pull the strings and make everything run her way or the highway. It's going to blow up in her face if she keeps on that route. I would expect to see this sort sort of attitude and behaviour of a green teenager. But a 33yo married woman?? Soo naive and selfish and in total denial. She will kill it if she doesn't deal with the situation (her jealousy) properly. Denial of what? I think I've been pretty clear, raw, and open about my feelings and how I am and am not handling it. What exactly am I in denial of? What do you think, other than telling him I can't handle this new girl, I should do? You really think that's going to help? I'll say it again, I'm not leaving him. I love him. I am devoted to him.

LilJuly76 -> RE: He took on a second sub and I'm miserable (8/28/2016 3:26:54 PM)
no you are saying it's your way to the other submissive that's what I'm talking about but at the same time I'm tending to agree with freedomdwarf you are making the relationship toxic with your jealousy, you can't fix that by yourself or over night, in the end it's going to blow up in your face.

LilJuly76 -> RE: He took on a second sub and I'm miserable (8/28/2016 3:29:02 PM)
I feel sorry for the husband, she feels the need to explore the world of BDSM and have a poly D/s relationship and she doesn't really know anything about it. would love to chat with the husband to hear his side of it.

Aquanerd1983 -> RE: He took on a second sub and I'm miserable (8/28/2016 3:29:11 PM)
I've made a decision. I'm not going to beg him to pay me attention or Brat about this new girl anymore. As long as he continues to devote the same effort and time to me that he has and she doesn't make him chose between us, I'm not going to even stress about it. His time with me is ours, and his time with her is theirs. If we all happen to hang out together, he's my focus, not her. The end. Not going to act or feel jealous anymore. Doesn't do me any good anyway. I have my husband and kids and if Daddy decides my devotion doesn't mean anything to him anymore, I'll be fine.

LilJuly76 -> RE: He took on a second sub and I'm miserable (8/28/2016 3:32:24 PM)
you're not denying your feelings to us, you're telling us how you feel loud and clear. you won't lay down for him or her either so she can at least have a chance to rebuttle back. just because you think she's not good for him doesn't mean he thinks like that. in the end like freedomdwarf keeps stating your jealousy of the other submissive is going to make it all fall apart.

Aquanerd1983 -> RE: He took on a second sub and I'm miserable (8/28/2016 3:33:43 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LilJuly76 I feel sorry for the husband, she feels the need to explore the world of BDSM and have a poly D/s relationship and she doesn't really know anything about it. would love to chat with the husband to hear his side of it. Did you know everything about it when you started? Were you perfect and faultless as a newbie in the lifestyle? Does being new make me less worthy of following my happiness and embracing my non conventional needs? Do I need to complete some secret initiation before I'm deemed a trwue sub? Is there a secret handshake? Oh teach me your ways all knowing one.

Aquanerd1983 -> RE: He took on a second sub and I'm miserable (8/28/2016 3:35:22 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LilJuly76 you're not denying your feelings to us, you're telling us how you feel loud and clear. you won't lay down for him or her either so she can at least have a chance to rebuttle back. just because you think she's not good for him doesn't mean he thinks like that. in the end like freedomdwarf keeps stating your jealousy of the other submissive is going to make it all fall apart. I'm 100% ready and willing to lay it down for him and her in their presence. I've already suggested we all meet as a group. I said so in this thread.

Aquanerd1983 -> RE: He took on a second sub and I'm miserable (8/28/2016 3:36:56 PM)
I just texted him about all three of us meeting up again.

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