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Wayward5oul -> RE: When no one calls it rape (12/8/2016 11:26:22 AM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Aylee
quote:
ORIGINAL: Greta75
It has nothing to do with gender equality.
Looking briefly at the article.
It looks like they are talking about men on men rape.
Men go through alot of shame being raped by another man.
Also, men are just not wired to talk about their feelings.
It's kinda weird because every woman wants a man to open up and talk about his feelings and be more nurturing towards him, but most men resist such things. They just don't want to talk about it and forget it.
Probably because, unlike women, talking about it does not help them.
The way we can help female victims by showering them with loads of TLC and smothering and sympathy, may not be the same solution to help a male victim.
I think men and woman respond to rape differently.
What needs to happen is more education on how to handle a male who has been through rape?
I mean honestly speaking, my own brother has been raped before, held down and penetrated by a woman much larger and stronger than him who was suppose to be his clean masseuse. And I didn't even know what to say. And he definitely didn't want to report it at all. He was just saying he can't believe he got so unlucky. Like he was telling me about it, but at the same time, if it was a woman, I would know what to say, but because his male, I can't go like, "Poor you!" And smother him with lots of love and sympathy. He was acting so strong and brushing it aside. I was just more like, "Are you okay? If you need anything, just let me know, I am here." That's all I could say.
I mean with a woman, you would just let her talk and let her cry, and let her talk and talk. With a guy, he ain't even gonna cry. And he is just trying to act strong, and like, not look weak. And does not want to talk over and over about it. It's like a whole different vibe.
Wow. And here is the stigma of males reporting sexual violence against them. If it had been your sister you would have validated her. Since this was your brother, you kept silent.
I am not negatively evaluating you, I am just noting that this is the exact problem that the article discusses.
I think her comments highlight some very specific issues that need to be addressed, and I wonder if they are. People who work with rape victims, their training is usually geared toward how female rape victims respond, or am I wrong about this? They are taught how to counsel victims, help them to cope, etc. based primarily on experiences with female victims? But male victims, while they are going to have a lot of the same feelings about the rape, may have very different ways of dealing with them and may have very different needs from others around him, in terms of dealing with them, because of the way society treats male victims vs. female victims (and not just society, but how the victims view themselves).
If a male victim came to me and told me that he had been raped, I would try and help him the same way I have helped female friends that have come to me and told me they had been raped. But the ways that I have helped the women, I can't see any of my male friends agreeing to that. Hospital, rape kits, talking to police, seeing counselors...all of that was hard enough for the females, and they are told that is what they are supposed to do.
Is their training geared specifically towards helping male victims? Is there a recognized medical opinion on whether or not males need a different approach than females?
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