Feeling Entitled for a Reply

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Greta75 -> Feeling Entitled for a Reply (4/1/2017 8:13:37 AM)
You know, since day one I ever been on the internet. My first experience with chatting with strangers from all over the world is through IRC. And even in IRC back then, it's quite normal, if you private chat someone. If they are interested in talking to you. They will respond. If they aren't interested. You get no response. That's just the way it works. Nobody gets upset about it. But these days, it seems like alot of people feel entitled for a reply. It never cease to irritated me when a man writes me and ends it with, "Please respond and I promise I won't bother you anymore if you do." And then you'd see quite a few guys ranting about how people are rude not to even reply to say they are not interested. Not just on here, but in many many platforms. Seems to be a pet peeve, and most of the ones complaining about this are specifically men. What gives? Silence means not interested! It's common sense and no brainer!

catize -> RE: Feeling Entitled for a Reply (4/1/2017 8:40:22 AM)
They can feel whatever they believe they are entitled to---doesn't mean they are gonna get it. I don't waste my time feeling irritated at them because I am the one in control of my ignore button.

LadyPact -> RE: Feeling Entitled for a Reply (4/1/2017 9:26:27 AM)
Beatlejuice. Beatejuice. Beatlejuice (Cause, ya know, any thread about email is going to become a gender war, so we know how that's going to go.) I don't know why the sense of entitlement happens. I do think there are folks that honestly believe they are entitled to a response because they spent the time to send an email to person X (something they wanted to do) and for some reason, person X should want to spend the time writing a reply. (Something that person doesn't want to do.) What a person wants to spend their time on, and who, will win any day of the week.

booklover13 -> RE: Feeling Entitled for a Reply (4/1/2017 9:38:26 AM)
When I don't reply to a message I will often get an angry reply insisting that, as a sub, I am expected to respect any dominant who messages me by replying. My reaction: Bwahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

DocStrange -> RE: Feeling Entitled for a Reply (4/1/2017 9:42:16 AM)
Okay, I am not going to fall in line with the women on this one. I do not disagree with Greta's point for the most part. I am going to add 1 caveat to that though. My exception is this, if you (and gender does not matter for this) advertise you are looking for something, be whatever that something is, if a person responds to your ad, I do think you owe them a reply. And I am talking honest replys and not the "hey do you want to have sex" reply. I am talking they read your profile and made specific inquires to what you were seeking. Okay let the bashing begin :)

Kaliko -> RE: Feeling Entitled for a Reply (4/1/2017 9:45:08 AM)
Just a complete guess on my part, but I think the sense of entitlement to an online reply is indicative of one's age. Those of us who are cough older didn't grow up with IM's and emails and phones around us to indicate when someone wanted to get in touch with us, so we are less inclined to jump when we hear a notification. We're used to waiting for a response. But younger people have grown up with that instant gratification - realtime chatting and response - and they know damn well that in all likelihood, when they've messaged someone online, that person knows it's there and is now deliberately choosing to ignore it. It's somehow more offensive that way. I'm not suggesting that younger people these days feel more entitled in a selfish, childish way. Only that they've grown up with that instant reply being the norm, so it's not even that they feel entitled - it's just how things are done. And when someone goes against that norm, they haven't yet developed the skills to not be offended by it. So, the expectation of that kind of behavior, and the inability to deal with it when it does happen, tells me that probably (not always, I'm sure) that person is...sigh...younger than I.

booklover13 -> RE: Feeling Entitled for a Reply (4/1/2017 9:47:56 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DocStrange Okay, I am not going to fall in line with the women on this one. I do not disagree with Greta's point for the most part. I am going to add 1 caveat to that though. My exception is this, if you (and gender does not matter for this) advertise you are looking for something, be whatever that something is, if a person responds to your ad, I do think you owe them a reply. And I am talking honest replys and not the "hey do you want to have sex" reply. I am talking they read your profile and made specific inquires to what you were seeking. Okay let the bashing begin :) I don't reply because I've learned that even if I politely reply that I am not interested I will receive a torrent of abusive messages from the dominant. Who needs that shit?

DesFIP -> RE: Feeling Entitled for a Reply (4/1/2017 10:18:12 AM)
Unfortunately, guys who show in their message that they feel entitled to a response, usually turn out to be the ones who respond to a rejection by stalking, name calling and sending death threats. And one multi page death threat detailing exactly how he would kill me is my limit for my lifetime. Unlike Kaliko., I find it's more older men who grew up with phones that didn't display the caller's name. They expect a response because everyone used to. The young ones are used to ignoring or rejecting friends requests. To swiping ignore on tinder etc.

BitaTruble -> RE: Feeling Entitled for a Reply (4/1/2017 10:22:04 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DocStrange Okay, I am not going to fall in line with the women on this one. I do not disagree with Greta's point for the most part. I am going to add 1 caveat to that though. My exception is this, if you (and gender does not matter for this) advertise you are looking for something, be whatever that something is, if a person responds to your ad, I do think you owe them a reply. And I am talking honest replys and not the "hey do you want to have sex" reply. I am talking they read your profile and made specific inquires to what you were seeking. Okay let the bashing begin :) It's an email, not an invoice and an advertisement is not a contract so how does one "owe"? I am not bashing, I am asking.

Kaliko -> RE: Feeling Entitled for a Reply (4/1/2017 10:29:35 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DesFIP The young ones are used to ignoring or rejecting friends requests. To swiping ignore on tinder etc. Yeah, that's a good point.

Spiritedsub2 -> RE: Feeling Entitled for a Reply (4/1/2017 10:58:51 AM)
I agree with Des. I think younger people are used to no reply and "ghosting"; the older men are the ones who bitch at me when I don't reply.

igor2003 -> RE: Feeling Entitled for a Reply (4/1/2017 11:20:41 AM)
--FR-- Many women bitch, moan, and complain that men don't bother reading their profile. Well, I, for one, do read the profile. Most women say they don't like one liners. I understand that. If, after reading the profile, I think there are things we have in common I will often spend a considerable amount of time writing a response to them. That doesn't mean agonizingly long. It might be only two, three, or four normal length paragraphs, though I may write, rewrite, alter, and write again to get it to say what I want with a reasonable amount of words. Often I will take at least an half hour, and up to an hour to write my message. Then I send it. And in spite of the amount of time I have invested I don't even get a "thanks but no thanks". Yes, I see the "ladies" that are afraid that they will get stalked and/or bitched at by sending a negative reply. Have any of you seen the "block" function? It really doesn't take long . . . certainly not as long as I spent writing my message to you . . . to say "thanks but no thanks", then hit the block button if you are so delicate that you will wilt if someone says an unkind word to you. Personally, I don't do that. I'm mature enough to know that "no means no". I've also been around long enough to know that ignoring someone that obviously went to a certain amount of effort to contact you is simply rude. No if's, and's or but's. And it does get tiring when, time after time, you spend more than just a few minutes writing a considerate and informative message only to get no reply. Then the "ladies" wonder why guys send one liners. What is the point in consistently writing more than "one liners" only to be ignored? IF YOU WANT MESSAGES THAT ARE LONGER THAN ONE LINERS, THEN AT LEAST ACKNOWLEDGE THE FACT THAT THE PERSON PUT IN THE EFFORT AND TELL THEM "THANKS BUT NO THANKS". Then hit the "block" button if you are so inclined.

LadyPact -> RE: Feeling Entitled for a Reply (4/1/2017 11:25:57 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Kaliko Just a complete guess on my part, but I think the sense of entitlement to an online reply is indicative of one's age. Those of us who are cough older didn't grow up with IM's and emails and phones around us to indicate when someone wanted to get in touch with us, so we are less inclined to jump when we hear a notification. We're used to waiting for a response. But younger people have grown up with that instant gratification - realtime chatting and response - and they know damn well that in all likelihood, when they've messaged someone online, that person knows it's there and is now deliberately choosing to ignore it. It's somehow more offensive that way. I'm not suggesting that younger people these days feel more entitled in a selfish, childish way. Only that they've grown up with that instant reply being the norm, so it's not even that they feel entitled - it's just how things are done. And when someone goes against that norm, they haven't yet developed the skills to not be offended by it. So, the expectation of that kind of behavior, and the inability to deal with it when it does happen, tells me that probably (not always, I'm sure) that person is...sigh...younger than I. I tend to agree with you. I almost said as much in my prior post.

DocStrange -> RE: Feeling Entitled for a Reply (4/1/2017 11:27:14 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: BitaTruble quote: ORIGINAL: DocStrange Okay, I am not going to fall in line with the women on this one. I do not disagree with Greta's point for the most part. I am going to add 1 caveat to that though. My exception is this, if you (and gender does not matter for this) advertise you are looking for something, be whatever that something is, if a person responds to your ad, I do think you owe them a reply. And I am talking honest replys and not the "hey do you want to have sex" reply. I am talking they read your profile and made specific inquires to what you were seeking. Okay let the bashing begin :) It's an email, not an invoice and an advertisement is not a contract so how does one "owe"? I am not bashing, I am asking. Bita, Why do I say a person should respond? I say that because the person advertised they were looking for something in their profile. If a person takes the time to respond to your advertisement, then yes I do think you owe them a reply. Even if it is a simple "Thanks but I am not interested". Maybe I feel this way because it was how I was raised to be courteous to others? I honestly believe it is the right thing to do. Treat others how you would want to be treated. To that case in point I often get emails from gays, bi's and trans who are heavily into rubber (one of my fetishes) who are looking for a sub. Even though my profile states I am straight and looking for a Domme, I still reply "thank you for the inquiry but I am only interested in finding a Domme". Remember I put the caveat in there that if there was an honest request to what you were seeking, then I think you should reply.

shiftyw -> RE: Feeling Entitled for a Reply (4/1/2017 11:52:44 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Spiritedsub2 I agree with Des. I think younger people are used to no reply and "ghosting"; the older men are the ones who bitch at me when I don't reply. I agree with this.

LadyPact -> RE: Feeling Entitled for a Reply (4/1/2017 12:54:18 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DocStrange Bita, Why do I say a person should respond? I say that because the person advertised they were looking for something in their profile. If a person takes the time to respond to your advertisement, then yes I do think you owe them a reply. Even if it is a simple "Thanks but I am not interested". Maybe I feel this way because it was how I was raised to be courteous to others? I honestly believe it is the right thing to do. Treat others how you would want to be treated. To that case in point I often get emails from gays, bi's and trans who are heavily into rubber (one of my fetishes) who are looking for a sub. Even though my profile states I am straight and looking for a Domme, I still reply "thank you for the inquiry but I am only interested in finding a Domme". Remember I put the caveat in there that if there was an honest request to what you were seeking, then I think you should reply. In the course of your adult life, how many employment want ads have you answered? Over all of the ones that you answered, did you always get a response just because you responded to an ad?

ThatDizzyChick -> RE: Feeling Entitled for a Reply (4/1/2017 2:52:03 PM)
quote: It never cease to irritated me when a man writes me and ends it with, "Please respond and I promise I won't bother you anymore if you do." I have a simple strategy for dealing with those. I reply with "Fuck off". Oddly, they never seem to keep their promise to not bother me further, which I then point out to them over and over as they get angrier and angrier until they block me in a fit of righteous indignation. It's funny as Hell.

CaptR -> RE: Feeling Entitled for a Reply (4/1/2017 4:21:47 PM)
I was taught to always be polite. Given a genuine, polite inquiry in response to a profile in search of someone whose criteria you meet I don't feel it's too much to receive a response. Even if it's an equally polite "No thank you." That's a common exchange. I feel if there's no answer there is a reason and nothing to do with me being the best I can be. Now I do realize women on these sites are bombarded daily and understand the ignore option. It's an easy fix to what could potentially be an unpleasant experience. Demanding a response is ridiculous, reacting adversely to a polite turn down equally so. If that's how an individual acts hit block and move on in the search. Remember though this behavior isn't exclusive to men.

needlesandpins -> RE: Feeling Entitled for a Reply (4/1/2017 4:29:34 PM)
FR From personal experience, it's just as much the older guys as the younger guys that expect answers, and get all dummy throwing when they are turned down, especially when you point out that you specifically stated you never advertised wanting them in the first place. I had a conversation about this years ago with a then friend who was using a dating site. She had been very specific with her profile, but was still getting mail from the most inappropriate men. Again, the 'thanks, but no thanks' reply was getting her a load of crap that she just didn't want to deal with, so she added a simple line in her profile 'If I don't reply it's because you don't suit what I'm looking for. If this offends you, you'll have to blame the others that came before you and abused me for saying 'thanks, but no thanks. If this also offends you, then don't bother contacting me'. I asked her if it had worked, she just laughed, and said has it hell, now I just get men telling me how I should run my profile. I find it hilarious that I've had several men tell me I shouldn't be here because I'm not looking, that I shouldn't have my profile up, that it's too aggressive, that I should do this, that, and the other. It's never crosses their tiny minds that actually I should be able to do what the hell I want, and other men should have basic manners, just like they would in real life. In the past, on another site, when I did advertise, I did reply to those that made a real effort. However, I also got huge amounts of dross mail, which was exceptionally tedious to go through. Needles

DocStrange -> RE: Feeling Entitled for a Reply (4/1/2017 4:31:34 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyPact quote: ORIGINAL: DocStrange Bita, Why do I say a person should respond? I say that because the person advertised they were looking for something in their profile. If a person takes the time to respond to your advertisement, then yes I do think you owe them a reply. Even if it is a simple "Thanks but I am not interested". Maybe I feel this way because it was how I was raised to be courteous to others? I honestly believe it is the right thing to do. Treat others how you would want to be treated. To that case in point I often get emails from gays, bi's and trans who are heavily into rubber (one of my fetishes) who are looking for a sub. Even though my profile states I am straight and looking for a Domme, I still reply "thank you for the inquiry but I am only interested in finding a Domme". Remember I put the caveat in there that if there was an honest request to what you were seeking, then I think you should reply. In the course of your adult life, how many employment want ads have you answered? Over all of the ones that you answered, did you always get a response just because you responded to an ad? That is a rather interesting point of view. I may have to noodle on that awhile :) For my Engineering career the answer is yes. But that really is not fair question in my case. I have been very l;ucky. I was actively recruited each job jump I did. I already knew I was going to get an interview with each application I put in. Both times the application and interviews were formalities as the job was mine if I wanted it. Prior to my Engineering career I honestly do not remember. Yes it has been that long :( but I would assume the answer would have been no.

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