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Wayward5oul -> RE: Lunch Shaming (5/9/2017 7:48:11 PM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: InfoMan
quote:
ORIGINAL: Wayward5oul
Exactly. Even the kids realize this. I discussed this with my son last night to make sure I wasn't remembering this the way I wanted to, but he confirmed it for me. Its a reminder. The kids know it, they acknowledge it, and life goes on. The adults are the only people making a big deal out of it.
No one is showing where kids are being bullied. Everyone is talking about a hypothetical, which I understand their concern, but it is an adult concern made from adult fears over money worries born out of paying bills.
Kids forget things for school every day and borrow or do without for school every day, and don't think a thing about it. They don't have a pencil and have to borrow one. Wrong kind of paper for math class and have to ask the teacher or a friend. Forgot their book for reading hour and look on with a friend.
Forgetting things is a part of daily life for them and lunch money is just one of those things, not a major life concern. Adults are the ones that understand that money is different, and adults are the ones that try to turn it into a major deal.
Children will not tell their parents that they are being bullied, in fact often the first time a parent learns that their child is being bullied is when they come home with a physical mark such as a bruise, black eye, or a cut. There for to think that just because your child tells you that it is okay and that they think nothing of it is the furthest thing from the truth.
It is not a Reminder - it is a physical mark that some one else has placed on them. There are very distinct psychological connotations which the child will make and associate with.... Imagine if a machine Physically Stamps your hand 'Credit Card Denied' if you over draft or when it doesn't go through for what ever reason. You would be alright with that kind of 'reminder'? A visual sign which literally says that you couldn't pay for what you tried to buy and for every one in the world that walks by you to be able to see it?
If you are not alright with that - what makes you think a child would be?
What's more - i'm going to reference something some one else said.
quote:
ORIGINAL: UllrsIshtar
And yeah, we need lunch money reminders, because with divorced households, and the kids not buying lunch at school every day (sometimes they bring their own) it's sometimes not clear how much money they still have left over in their accounts. If their mother has them eat school lunches for a while without putting money in, sometimes we're much lower than we thought.
In this instance - being stamped serves as a 'physical proof' that the divorce is their fault. They become a message which spurs an argument about how one parent didn't put money into the account. And actually is logically sound if the child comes to the conclusion that the argument and what even created the argument is their fault... Because if the child didn't eat - then obviously the parents wouldn't have to fight over who has to pay for their lunch.
The simple stamp which a parent might view as a convenient reminder, in this situation, can reinforce depressive and suicidal thoughts legitimizing the idea that things would be better if they where not there...
You might think this is hypothetical, but the Divorce Rate in the US is still between 40-50%
There are thousands of children which deal with that kind of life daily and blame themselves constantly...
I was one of those kids raised in a broken home with parents fighting about child support and who had to pay for what. And I am now a divorced mother raising a child that has to go between two homes. I have also been in public schools for over 20 years dealing with kids who are dealing with these issues. I know exactly what you are speaking of, from all sides of the issue. And I can promise you, those that are having issues at home over mommy and daddy arguing over this, are having issues at home over mommy and daddy arguing over a lot of things. This is not the cause of a problem, it is a symptom, and is just one of many things that mommy and daddy are actively looking for to fight about. Been there done that, see it all the time.
I understand what the legitimate concerns involved with this issue are-let me stress the word legitimate here. But seeing this issue from all angles, at home as the parent who just forgot, as the parent who was short on money at the time, as the teacher who sees the every type of kid that comes through the door, it really is not the issue that the adults are making it out to be. There are so many other expenses in the schools these days, honestly it is ridiculous, that I think have the potential to highlight the needy kids and there is no relief for those kids like there is with the lunch program.
Students really don't take lunch seriously. But not be able to participate in Friday freeze (once-a-month ice cream parties)? Oh no, those kids won't stand out. Don't have money for class parties that is collected by class mom through her elementary age student? Gee, no one will ever know that. Not have $110 to go on the field trip to the nature preserve that is an hour's drive, so you have to stay at the school and sit in the library all day and do research on the types of animals and plants at the preserve? No, not missing out on a thing there.
Trust me, kids have their priorities. These other things pop up regularly and those are the things they will notice if others don't have money for.
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