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fake slaves - 8/3/2006 5:03:59 AM   
MistresSplash


Posts: 15
Joined: 7/3/2005
Status: offline 		Had found or thought I had found a slave she wouldnt give me phone number we were to meet up on weekend she didnt have a cam as well and never returned email. She would sign on late at night she even  removed her account on here. For two nights she corrasponded with me. Was excited to please knowing she would recieve her several spankings that she loved that other mistress got bored with. Less then 72 hours her account is back up. I had emailed her yesterday informed her since I hadnt heard from her she had been replaced. Need to know how to determen if fake or not. What should be my demands on finding out if slave is real?
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: fake slaves - 8/3/2006 5:44:26 AM   
MsSonnetMarwood


Posts: 1898
Joined: 2/10/2005
From: Eastern Shore, Maryland
Status: offline 		Surely you haven't only JUST gotten a computer and gone online  -  very few people are who they say they are.  It's better to get out and get involved in your local scene if you want to meet people.

_____________________________

~Ms. Sonnet Marwood~

Deja Moo: The feeling you've heard this bull somewhere before.

(in reply to MistresSplash)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: fake slaves - 8/3/2006 5:45:46 AM   
marieToo


Posts: 3595
Joined: 5/21/2006
From: Jersey
Status: offline 		I think just putting in the time gives you the answers.  Take this case for instance.  Unless I misunderstood, you said you spoke to her for 2 days and she wanted to take "spankings" from you?  Maybe both of you were rushing it.  I would say be more realistic in your expectations and take it one step at a time. Good luck.

(in reply to MistresSplash)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: fake slaves - 8/3/2006 6:57:48 AM   
MisPandora


Posts: 2911
Joined: 4/7/2004
From: Philadelphia, PA
Status: offline 		*hands you a coupon book for a few clues*

One, what does it matter?  The person is gone.

Two, so what if the person only wanted online?  Demanding cam or phone of them isn't going to get you what YOU want.

Three, how do you cyber-replace someone?

_____________________________

Pandora
Ms World Leather 2004
Ms Philadelphia Leather 2004

"Simply put, if you want a real femdom to love you, give her reasons to love you." Gloria Brame

(in reply to MistresSplash)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: fake slaves - 8/3/2006 7:01:26 AM   
MisPandora


Posts: 2911
Joined: 4/7/2004
From: Philadelphia, PA
Status: offline 		"New mistress looking for a slave for a fem/dom couple."

OK, just a suggestion, but how about slowing down a bit, learning about dominance, slave management, play with submissives, etc in a real environment, perhaps a local SM group....and then recruiting the slave?  Perhaps you'd have a grasp on figuring out who is real and who isn't a bit more if you were more well-versed in the craft.

_____________________________

Pandora
Ms World Leather 2004
Ms Philadelphia Leather 2004

"Simply put, if you want a real femdom to love you, give her reasons to love you." Gloria Brame

(in reply to MistresSplash)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: fake slaves - 8/3/2006 7:05:10 AM   
MistresSplash


Posts: 15
Joined: 7/3/2005
Status: offline 		no this was going to be a live in deal we were to meet this weekend and no not a on line thing and doesnt one want to view of such slave? they should state if they want on line only but she came to me on site wanting live in to be owned last we spoke two days ago she was all for it. But when I asked if she would give me her number she gave excuse that she had bad phone lines so I gave her my number to stay in touch so we would know where to meet and to stay in touch. out of respect I believe she should have gave me her number or to at least let me know she was no longer interested . I have had slaves in past male slaves this would have been first female slave.

< Message edited by MistresSplash -- 8/3/2006 7:08:10 AM >

(in reply to MisPandora)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: fake slaves - 8/3/2006 7:10:06 AM   
mistressandy


Posts: 13
Joined: 6/5/2005
Status: offline 		totally agree but i have found alot of players here and most of them are subs
they say they want a strict domm but they chicken out after a week or a day of
meeting them however dont give up the ship 

(in reply to MistresSplash)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: fake slaves - 8/3/2006 7:11:31 AM   
MisPandora


Posts: 2911
Joined: 4/7/2004
From: Philadelphia, PA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MistresSplash

no this was going to be a live in deal we were to meet this weekend and no not a on line thing and doesnt one want to view of such slave? they should state if they want on line only but she came to me on site wanting live in to be owned last we spoke two days ago she was all for it. But when I asked if she would give me her number she gave excuse that she had bad phone lines so I gave her my number to stay in touch so we would know where to meet and to stay in touch. out of respect I believe she should have gave me her number or to at least let me know she was no longer interested . I have had slaves in past male slaves this would have been first female slave.

I'm having a hard time even reading what you wrote because there's no punctuation or grammar at all.  OK....live in, you've not met, you can't tell whether she's real or not and she wouldn't give you her number?  I think you need to learn to step back a few steps and interview them first THEN consider if live-in is right once you know and trust the person.  Perhaps it's your judgement that's askew?

_____________________________

Pandora
Ms World Leather 2004
Ms Philadelphia Leather 2004

"Simply put, if you want a real femdom to love you, give her reasons to love you." Gloria Brame

(in reply to MistresSplash)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: fake slaves - 8/3/2006 7:22:56 AM   
MistresSplash


Posts: 15
Joined: 7/3/2005
Status: offline 		Yes  you are correct. I should interview them more closely. I have never seeked a slave on line before. Have only been thru the community. Sorry teach if my typing is improper to you, didnt know this was school. Any ways that is what this weekend was for. To meet to decide if this is what we all wanted. If we would be compatible or not. Is it wrong to ask for proof as in cam or phone number to verify who they are?

(in reply to MisPandora)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: fake slaves - 8/3/2006 7:34:16 AM   
yourMissTress


Posts: 1665
Joined: 6/14/2005
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline 		She said it's difficult to understand you because you don't use any punctuation and very poor grammar.  She wasn't chastising you but stating a fact.  I'm also having trouble deciphering what you are saying.  No it's not school, and it could be that English isn't your first language, just a guess. 
 
Would you really have someone move in with you that you met just 2 days ago online?  Meeting her face to face or not, IMO that's not enough time to know if they are going to rob you blind or worse.  Take the advice of the others and SLOW DOWN.  Get to know more about yourself, your style of dominance, your wants and desires from a submissive/slave, etc...

_____________________________

Tress


"If you have to tell people that you are a lady, you are not." My Grandmother


(in reply to MistresSplash)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: fake slaves - 8/3/2006 7:39:38 AM   
MistresSplash


Posts: 15
Joined: 7/3/2005
Status: offline 		Would you really have someone move in with you that you met just 2 days ago online?  Meeting her face to face or not, IMO that's not enough time to know if they are going to rob you blind or worse.  Take the advice of the others and SLOW DOWN.  Get to know more about yourself, your style of dominance, your wants and desires from a submissive/slave, etc... 
We had discussed over a few months of meeting we would decide for live in if things were to work out.

(in reply to yourMissTress)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: fake slaves - 8/3/2006 7:47:04 AM   
MisPandora


Posts: 2911
Joined: 4/7/2004
From: Philadelphia, PA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MistresSplash

Yes  you are correct. I should interview them more closely. I have never seeked a slave on line before. Have only been thru the community. Sorry teach if my typing is improper to you, didnt know this was school. Any ways that is what this weekend was for. To meet to decide if this is what we all wanted. If we would be compatible or not. Is it wrong to ask for proof as in cam or phone number to verify who they are?

On the point of it being school: No, it's not, but if I am having a hard time understanding you, can you imagine how a slave will struggle trying to grasp your point?

On the point of interviewing and negotiations, SLOW DOWN and get to know the person first.  Your gut, when you gain some experience, will tell you whether it's right to even bother expending any more time on the person, let alone think to meet them or take them into your home.

_____________________________

Pandora
Ms World Leather 2004
Ms Philadelphia Leather 2004

"Simply put, if you want a real femdom to love you, give her reasons to love you." Gloria Brame

(in reply to MistresSplash)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: fake slaves - 8/3/2006 7:48:42 AM   
MisPandora


Posts: 2911
Joined: 4/7/2004
From: Philadelphia, PA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MistresSplash
We had discussed over a few months of meeting we would decide for live in if things were to work out.

You said, "For two nights she corrasponded with me."
We're going from what you told us.  Now did you lie, or was this just miscommunication?  Two days and two months are a big difference, but neither seem sufficient to me to determine that I bring this person into my HOME.

_____________________________

Pandora
Ms World Leather 2004
Ms Philadelphia Leather 2004

"Simply put, if you want a real femdom to love you, give her reasons to love you." Gloria Brame

(in reply to MistresSplash)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: fake slaves - 8/3/2006 8:35:42 AM   
thetammyjo


Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline 		I don't consider anyone I talk to online to be a slave -- I know that is going to offend a lot of folks but I don't consider anyone offline a slave either unless they are in a Ms relatinship. I certainly do not consider them to be my slave until we'd got a contract to that effect.

Why am I saying this? Because I think it is really easy to get caught up in the idea of what we want and not stay firmly in reality. A few online messages does not a relationship make. Even a face-to-face meeting does not make a relationship.

Relationships take time and effort from both people. Not everyone could/would be everyone's else slave, submissive, top, owner, whatever. It is a matter of time to see where things go.

So she clearly isn't as into the idea of things or as ready for the things you two talked about. Thank the Divine you learned now before things went further along. If you feel like continuing to talk to her, great, just don't think of her as fake or less, just perhaps not the one to be your slave or not the one to be that right now.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to MistresSplash)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: fake slaves - 8/3/2006 8:39:12 AM   
MistresSplash


Posts: 15
Joined: 7/3/2005
Status: offline 		We had discussed in chat that we would have on going meetings over the next few months. To meet in person, several times. She wanted me to take ownership right away. I had said over the next few months of meeting on trial basis. We "both" would decide. Don't understand the bashing of me. Granted you may have been here longer and have had more experience in all this. This is why I am here asking other mistress's. Came to recieve more input on subject and how to deal with. If this is what I should expect, then I will no longer seek advice.

(in reply to MisPandora)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: fake slaves - 8/3/2006 8:57:51 AM   
thetammyjo


Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MistresSplash

We had discussed in chat that we would have on going meetings over the next few months. To meet in person, several times. She wanted me to take ownership right away. I had said over the next few months of meeting on trial basis. We "both" would decide. Don't understand the bashing of me. Granted you may have been here longer and have had more experience in all this. This is why I am here asking other mistress's. Came to recieve more input on subject and how to deal with. If this is what I should expect, then I will no longer seek advice.


I think then that you may want to decide if you should give her another try. No reason you need to frankly but I don't know what sort of interactions you have when she is in communication with you.

I personally have a formal way of getting to know someone and if they can't follow through, it isn't going further. I hope I clearly communicate that in the beginning so they aren't surprised.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to MistresSplash)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: fake slaves - 8/3/2006 9:06:23 AM   
MistresSplash


Posts: 15
Joined: 7/3/2005
Status: offline 		Thank You thetammyjo I have decided not to further the realationship. I wanted to know if it would be wrong for me to ask of them to show them self on cam or to give phone number to verify if they are real or not? Or how would one go about asking for proof or even if I should ask?

(in reply to thetammyjo)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: fake slaves - 8/3/2006 9:20:48 AM   
MsSonnetMarwood


Posts: 1898
Joined: 2/10/2005
From: Eastern Shore, Maryland
Status: offline 		The only "proof" you can get of someone meeting your standards of real is to spend lots of face time together.  Phone or cam only means that the person has a phone and a cam.

Some things that I look for in someone who approaches me online to gauge if it's worth my time pursuing is if they're involved in the local scene (to the extent of at least having gone to a couple munches) and that they are consistent on the follow through of how I tell them to keep in touch.  I expect consistent email contact (not IMs) and to meet within a month of first contact for coffee.  I don't rush getting to know one another, but I'm not interested in investing time online with someone only to have them decide they're too scared to be real time.

And I certainly wouldn't consider having someone be a live in without having them serve me on a part time basis for a significant amount of time - at least a year.



_____________________________

~Ms. Sonnet Marwood~

Deja Moo: The feeling you've heard this bull somewhere before.

(in reply to MistresSplash)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: fake slaves - 8/3/2006 9:33:50 AM   
MistresSplash


Posts: 15
Joined: 7/3/2005
Status: offline 		Thank You MsSonnetMarwood I will do that.

(in reply to MsSonnetMarwood)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: fake slaves - 8/3/2006 11:31:42 AM   
PhDslave


Posts: 74
Joined: 9/24/2005
Status: offline 		i'm in email communication with a Mistress i 'met' here on CM. We're only  at the email stage. We'll probably spend beaucoup time emailing, IMing, phoning, traveling, etc before any decision is made. Seeking a Mistress who also wants and can help sustain an LTR is usually a long process. Have a LOT of patience, but don't get discouraged.

(in reply to MistresSplash)
Profile   Post #: 20
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