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RE: fake slaves - 8/5/2006 9:15:59 AM   
zumala


Posts: 1121
Joined: 6/16/2005
Status: offline 		I'm with alovelylady4u and WhiteRadiance on this one.  I know how to use a phone number to look up an address, so I assume everyone else does as well.  I don't have a webcam and don't feel an overwhelming urge to run out and purchase one just to satisfy a virtual stranger's whim.  I consider anyone who asks for a webcam or a phone number within the first few days of meeting to be a potential threat.  I don't give a shit if they call me fake.  I'm not stupid.  I'm not going to give an aggressive and pushy person ANY personal information on myself.
 
This goes for anyone I might meet on-line.  It isn't just a rule for Doms or for the BDSM websites.  It's just playing it smart while using the Internet.  I also keep watch over my shoulder when walking alone across a parking lot.  If you don't watch your back, no one else will.
 
Now, just for contrast...  I've been talking to a Dom couple I met here over IM for a couple of months now.  If THEY asked me to purchase a webcam, I'd consider doing so.  I'd also venture to talk on a cell phone.  So far they haven't asked, though.  I've appreciated their not being pushy.  It's probably why the relationship has begun to move forward.  Trust is being built.
 
My $0.02
 
zuma

(in reply to WhiteRadiance)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: fake slaves - 8/5/2006 10:04:25 AM   
MistresSplash


Posts: 15
Joined: 7/3/2005
Status: offline 		Thank You all for the advice. I will be deleting my account on cm. I will seek with in my community for what I am looking for. Wish you all luck in your searches.

Thank You and Good Bye

_____________________________

Call It Like I See It!

(in reply to zumala)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: fake slaves - 8/5/2006 10:11:23 AM   
MistressMelissa


Posts: 226
Joined: 11/21/2004
Status: offline 		Simply put until you met face to face and get to know someone in person, you do not know who you are dealing with. Recently we spent months talking to a girl and brought her here for a visit of about 10 days. Everything went great. Then we moved her in and she went weird. Seems she stopped taking her meds and hid the little fact that she was bi-polar from us. We had spent a great deal of time doing our research with her and thought we knew her. But, we failed and she failed herself.

In the past we have spent months chatting with potential slaves to have them "no show" on the day they say they would visit. They would send us fight itineraries and all. I believe that the best way to meet someone is through local groups and so I stay active in my local community. I hope to be able to become more active in the state at large, but as of yet I neither have the time or the money to attend state or national events.

As for who is real? We are all real to ourselves, but the real question is, does your reality match my reality? While I have made an effort to create a rather complete profile and tried to detail who I seek, there are still many that would call me a fake. I even have a website full of my writings and views of the lifestyle complete with photos. I offer real life references for anyone who wishes to verify I am, who I claim I am. My profile on "alt" is certified that I am who I claim to be. This lifestyle is lived in many different ways. Just because how I live might seem unrealistic to you, does not mean it is not my reality. As a dear friend phrases it; "What's your game?" Just because your game is not my game, does not mean that we can't learn from each other.

While the internet has allowed anyone with a computer to be who ever they wish to be, in the end, the truth will be found out. While finding who and what we want is often a numbers game and searching the internet increases the numbers, it also increase the chaff that one must sift through to find what we seek. To date, I and my girl have talk to thousands of people looking for who we seek. We will probably have to dig through a thousand more before we are done.

It is my experience that unless someone is willing to turn off the computer and venture forth into the real world you are just wasting your time on line.

< Message edited by MistressMelissa -- 8/5/2006 10:12:02 AM >

(in reply to zumala)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: fake slaves - 8/5/2006 10:36:03 AM   
thetammyjo


Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MistresSplash

Thank You all for the advice. I will be deleting my account on cm. I will seek with in my community for what I am looking for. Wish you all luck in your searches.

Thank You and Good Bye


That is too bad because I really don't see this place as only for those looking for partners. I see it as a sort of online community -- I can only say that because I'm so cautious about how I define community.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to MistresSplash)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: fake slaves - 8/5/2006 11:00:00 AM   
Misstoyou


Posts: 1149
Joined: 9/4/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressMelissa

... We are all real to ourselves, but the real question is, does your reality match my reality? ...



I like this quotation. Though I think of myself as hard-core and jaded, overall I guess I actually am an optimistic person. Who knew? lol I truely do believe that people are doing the best they can, even the fakes, the couple of no-shows I've had (I don't think that makes them identical to fakes, necessarily), the horney net geeks, whomever. If that's the best they can do, that's the best they can do. It's disappointing, but I don't take it personally. And certainly no one is real to me until I meet them, so I tend to do that rather quickly.

Of course, I'm sure my attitude is colored by the fact of finding both my submissive and my puppy here, so it's easy for me to be Polyanna.

_____________________________

~ Miss Marie

a.k.a. "mean Lady"


(in reply to MistressMelissa)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: fake slaves - 8/5/2006 11:43:06 AM   
FelinePersuasion


Posts: 4792
Joined: 11/20/2004
Status: offline 		You know what they say assuming makes an ass out of u and me. LOL


I'm sure I could probably learn but I don't know how to find random addresses in a phone book just by a tele number.

quote:

ORIGINAL: zumala

I'm with alovelylady4u and WhiteRadiance on this one.  I know how to use a phone number to look up an address, so I assume everyone else does as well.  I don't have a webcam and don't feel an overwhelming urge to run out and purchase one just to satisfy a virtual stranger's whim.  I consider anyone who asks for a webcam or a phone number within the first few days of meeting to be a potential threat.  I don't give a shit if they call me fake.  I'm not stupid.  I'm not going to give an aggressive and pushy person ANY personal information on myself.
 
This goes for anyone I might meet on-line.  It isn't just a rule for Doms or for the BDSM websites.  It's just playing it smart while using the Internet.  I also keep watch over my shoulder when walking alone across a parking lot.  If you don't watch your back, no one else will.
 
Now, just for contrast...  I've been talking to a Dom couple I met here over IM for a couple of months now.  If THEY asked me to purchase a webcam, I'd consider doing so.  I'd also venture to talk on a cell phone.  So far they haven't asked, though.  I've appreciated their not being pushy.  It's probably why the relationship has begun to move forward.  Trust is being built.
 
My $0.02
 
zuma

(in reply to zumala)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: fake slaves - 8/5/2006 1:51:27 PM   
zumala


Posts: 1121
Joined: 6/16/2005
Status: offline 		Feline.  Assuming someone isn't a potential threat might make an ass out of me, perhaps.  I would be remiss and rather dumb if I wasn't careful.
 
Here is how simple it is.
 
1) Go to www.dogpile.com
 
2) In this case, you'd probably click on White Pages
 
3) Enter the state of your 'victim'
 
4) Click where it says 'reverse lookup' on the right
 
5) Enter your 'target's' phone number.
 
Voila.  Congratulations, Stalker.  You now know where your prey resides.
 
I dunno about you, Feline, but I don't want to let just anybody be able to do that to me.
 
My $0.02
 
zuma
 
edited to note:  I just tried it on myself.  It leaves you rather cold to realize that all someone needs is a state and a phone number to be able to get your address AND your name.  For you own sakes, people, be careful!

 

< Message edited by zumala -- 8/5/2006 1:55:44 PM >

(in reply to FelinePersuasion)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: fake slaves - 8/5/2006 2:05:54 PM   
gooddogbenji


Posts: 5094
Joined: 11/15/2005
From: Toronto
Status: offline 		Is a fake slave like fake breasts? 

Cuz I'd love to get my slave a bit bigger, firmer, and rounder.

Yours,


benji

_____________________________

Prevent global warming. Stop burning patchouli.

(in reply to zumala)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: fake slaves - 8/5/2006 2:14:32 PM   
paynestar


Posts: 30
Joined: 7/21/2006
Status: offline 		The lingo should be extended beyond dominant, submissive, slave, switch. There is more.

(in reply to raiken)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: fake slaves - 8/5/2006 2:45:20 PM   
FelinePersuasion


Posts: 4792
Joined: 11/20/2004
Status: offline 		Even tho she left I just wanna say, Phone and cam don't proove anything, just that there's a real live person on thwe other end. I could tell you I am 45 male and have a deep baratone voice and  then find someone else to pose as me when this  person you think is me calling.

The only way to prove someone is a female age they claimed is to do face to face and check their drivers liscence. And then even that could be fake.

I am interested to know why so many people belive that telephone calls and webcam imagaes are proof of "realness" when both can very easily and unidentifyably be manipulated. 
quote:

ORIGINAL: MistresSplash

Thank You thetammyjo I have decided not to further the realationship. I wanted to know if it would be wrong for me to ask of them to show them self on cam or to give phone number to verify if they are real or not? Or how would one go about asking for proof or even if I should ask?

(in reply to MistresSplash)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: fake slaves - 8/5/2006 3:51:59 PM   
PetTeacher


Posts: 57
Joined: 11/5/2004
Status: offline 		Slow down Splash, don't let these things get under your skin too much. Meet for coffee/tea only at a public location at a set date/time. If the person does not show up... so what. Go ahead and have your tea, relax, read a book or something and leave. That way you have not lost any time, you did something productive during that time.

I find it highly unlikly you will find the "soul mate" or "live in" upon one meeting or a small handful meetings in real time (and certainly not via the net/chat).  People will say anything they think you want to hear most of the time. That is where the old saying goes, "Take off your rose colored glasses". 



_____________________________

"The heart of another is a dark forest, always,.... no matter how close it has been to one's own.",

(in reply to MistresSplash)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: fake slaves - 8/5/2006 10:13:25 PM   
MadomeHurt


Posts: 1
Joined: 8/4/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: FelinePersuasion

Even tho she left I just wanna say, Phone and cam don't proove anything, just that there's a real live person on thwe other end. I could tell you I am 45 male and have a deep baratone voice and  then find someone else to pose as me when this  person you think is me calling.
The only way to prove someone is a female age they claimed is to do face to face and check their drivers liscence. And then even that could be fake.
I am interested to know why so many people belive that telephone calls and webcam imagaes are proof of "realness" when both can very easily and unidentifyably be manipulated.
 


Now that is getting a little deep dont you think? It is natural instinct to want to believe in others.
Innocent until proven guilty.

Suspicion of one who even would come up with such a story.
Has this happened to you before or any one you know of?
Amazed at what kind of person would go to such length..

< Message edited by MadomeHurt -- 8/5/2006 10:17:39 PM >

(in reply to FelinePersuasion)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: fake slaves - 8/6/2006 2:28:57 AM   
enigmabrat


Posts: 2383
Joined: 8/1/2004
Status: offline 		umm she isnt fake unless she is made of plastic or is one of them blow up numbers...


_____________________________

Leather strap $85.00 on Master card
Wooden paddle $50.00 on Master card
ratten cane $48.00 on Master card

a Master that can use them all Priceless

(in reply to PhDslave)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: fake slaves - 8/6/2006 2:32:12 AM   
enigmabrat


Posts: 2383
Joined: 8/1/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: gooddogbenji

Is a fake slave like fake breasts? 

Cuz I'd love to get my slave a bit bigger, firmer, and rounder.

Yours,


benji


Who let you have a slave

_____________________________

Leather strap $85.00 on Master card
Wooden paddle $50.00 on Master card
ratten cane $48.00 on Master card

a Master that can use them all Priceless

(in reply to gooddogbenji)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: fake slaves - 8/6/2006 3:11:49 AM   
FelinePersuasion


Posts: 4792
Joined: 11/20/2004
Status: offline 		There are quite a few players who'd scam someone.  There's a certain cet of people who make up elbarate stories to string others along for their own amusement yes. 

Just as there are liars. I have quite a few experinces with liars fakes and frauds.

Yes I had a friend who's wife didn't approve of us talking cause she thought the only thing I wanted was to fuck him, in her limited little mind the only thing a 40 year old could find interesting in a 19 year old was sex, which wasn't true, and she pretended to be him for the whole night trying to see if I made any inapropriate moves on her man. I didn't. I wasn't even sexually interested in her hubby, he was a good person, who was interesting, and who showed some kindness to me.

She even refused to let him come to my choir deal, even tho her and her kids were invited too.

How about the "dom" with herpee's who tried to convince me that you can not contact herpee's as long as he was on medication for it. (herpee's is transmittable even on medication*

How about the idiot who once told me if you used a condom you never would or could get an STD. because condoms protect you 100 percent from STD's so even if someone had an STD and you used condoms, there was no way in hell you'd get the STD* yeah right nice try*

How about the guy who tried to lie to me about having a wife and kids AFTER showing me pics of his wife and kids. And then was so lame as to beg me for sex because his wife had no sexual interest in him and he was so lonley. Didn't work.  that's why he tried to lie.

he thought I was stupid enough to forget not 2 mins ago he was telling me all about how his wife won't fuck him so will I.

How about the guy who picked up girls while his gf was out of town on buisness and then said he didn't think it was important to tell people he had a gf he was cheating on.

(in reply to enigmabrat)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: fake slaves - 8/6/2006 3:15:03 AM   
FelinePersuasion


Posts: 4792
Joined: 11/20/2004
Status: offline 		If I sent you a picture from me in 2000 would you know I don't really look like that any more if my real photo's not on here. NO you wouldn't. Imagaes are not proof of realness.

Plenty of men have stolen photo's and passed them out as theirs.  I've had men send me pics and then say a week later ok well I don't look like that any more, but well Its me.

ok yeah it's you, but they've misrepresented who they are. IF you're now bald and 40 and they send a pic of them at 35 with hair they have purposely misled someone

I used to be skinny and very good looking with hair to my butt. I could show people those pictures of me when I was underage and you'd never know they were not me now at 23.
quote:

ORIGINAL: MadomeHurt

quote:

ORIGINAL: FelinePersuasion

Even tho she left I just wanna say, Phone and cam don't proove anything, just that there's a real live person on thwe other end. I could tell you I am 45 male and have a deep baratone voice and  then find someone else to pose as me when this  person you think is me calling.
The only way to prove someone is a female age they claimed is to do face to face and check their drivers liscence. And then even that could be fake.
I am interested to know why so many people belive that telephone calls and webcam imagaes are proof of "realness" when both can very easily and unidentifyably be manipulated.
 


Now that is getting a little deep dont you think? It is natural instinct to want to believe in others.
Innocent until proven guilty.

Suspicion of one who even would come up with such a story.
Has this happened to you before or any one you know of?
Amazed at what kind of person would go to such length..

(in reply to MadomeHurt)
Profile   Post #: 56
RE: fake slaves - 8/6/2006 3:27:05 AM   
mons


Posts: 2400
Joined: 11/16/2005
Status: offline 		greetings to all
 
i believe that is takes time to get to know someone even if they are online or in r/t
i will trust someone only after i speak with thme for sometime, i found many people who claim to be slaves when we began to speak each person when they are fake will make a mistake somehow by word or actions. when someone startes to speak of only sex i do not deal with them, yes we do both want a sexual part to the reslationship but not so fast, if  they will start with " how did or what did you do to your last slave " i leave them alone right away. now someone who speak to me about others things asking how i am or what hobies i have is the person i will speak too. anyone looking for a place to live is out too this show someone looking for a home to live in and this is only when we speak first so fast for to many things no a good ideal at all


mons

(in reply to PhDslave)
Profile   Post #: 57
RE: fake slaves - 8/6/2006 12:33:09 PM   
MisPandora


Posts: 2911
Joined: 4/7/2004
From: Philadelphia, PA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Misstoyou

quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressMelissa

... We are all real to ourselves, but the real question is, does your reality match my reality? ...



I like this quotation. Though I think of myself as hard-core and jaded, overall I guess I actually am an optimistic person. Who knew? lol I truely do believe that people are doing the best they can, even the fakes, the couple of no-shows I've had (I don't think that makes them identical to fakes, necessarily), the horney net geeks, whomever. If that's the best they can do, that's the best they can do. It's disappointing, but I don't take it personally. And certainly no one is real to me until I meet them, so I tend to do that rather quickly.

Of course, I'm sure my attitude is colored by the fact of finding both my submissive and my puppy here, so it's easy for me to be Polyanna.

I'm with that thought as well, only I choose to use a customer service theory from the "Service America" philosophy: make sure you really know the expectations of the customer when delivering a service.  In other words, everyone should have a set of clear expectations and they should be communicated AND validated to ensure that there will be no failures, miscommunications and/or disappointments. 

_____________________________

Pandora
Ms World Leather 2004
Ms Philadelphia Leather 2004

"Simply put, if you want a real femdom to love you, give her reasons to love you." Gloria Brame

(in reply to Misstoyou)
Profile   Post #: 58
RE: fake slaves - 8/6/2006 7:26:25 PM   
IndigoDadesi


Posts: 185
Status: offline 		It always makes me laugh when a Domme says something like "after she didnt contact me I let her know she had been replaced" or "he didnt get back to me so I will not be furthering the relationship".

What is with Dommes not being able to accept that if someone in the dating pool doesnt get back to her it probably means they just werent that into her?

Thats all this sounds like. I know its rude, but lets face it, if she didnt think you had anything to offer why would she continue contact with you?

< Message edited by IndigoDadesi -- 8/6/2006 7:27:50 PM >

_____________________________

'"Where do we go when we die?" asks Billy. "I don't know. Where are we now?" is the gypsy's reply.'

(in reply to PhDslave)
Profile   Post #: 59
RE: fake slaves - 8/8/2006 2:24:45 PM   
GoddessDee


Posts: 24
Joined: 10/9/2005
Status: offline 		As far as I see it: on this site and others like it; there are no easy ways to determine who is real and who isn't. So the best thing I can suggest is that you take it slow, ask a lot of questions, speak through email (either on this site or personal email), later exchange phone numbers to get to know each other better, because believe it or not some of the people on this site say they are females and come to find out (they are not). With all said I can only wish you luck in sorting out the needle in the hay-stack 

(in reply to MistresSplash)
Profile   Post #: 60
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