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TreSwank -> Nikki Franklin (8/10/2006 4:06:07 PM)
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I know that I'm a shitty, rotten-hearted, glaring example of piss-poor citizenry, and that's probably why I LOATHE Nikki Franklin. Just repeating those four dreadful syllables out loud makes me want to puke my entrails into a dirty bucket of horse-manure and broken glass. As a matter of fact, if I had an ultimatum between kissing Nikki Franklin and letting Rosie O' Donnell take a long, warm, soupy shit in my mouth, I've have one HELL of a time getting that smell off my breath (the shit, that is.)
I first encountered Nikki Franklin in the second grade. She was a stupid bitch even then, with heavy-set jowls, blonde hair, and a set of pale-blue peepers that reflected a Mt. Vesuvius of ineptitude, caused by years of dysgenic and biologically irresponsible misbreeding. The very first time I heard her speak in class, I was almost BLOWN AWAY by the "dumbass factor", even at that impressionable young age.
The class discussion was, "What Would You Do If Your House Was On Fire?", and basically boiled down to a children's safety course. I swear to God, if I hadn't have been sitting on a chair, the sheer stupidity of her answer would have knocked me on my ass. "I wouldn't need to do anything; my (imaginary) friend Mousie would save me", the bovine-looking, knock-knee'd little cunt answered. I almost flipped a fucking lid. I'll bet that her parents had told her that, because they MUST have hated her as much as I did.
Nikki's cheeks hung down from her atrocity of a face like something off of the Westminster Classic, (although dogs are actually lovable). When she skipped around the schoolyard, her flabby cheeks would bounce up and down, almost sending me into a RAGE. I know ALOT of big girls that can pull off being attractive, but Nikki was the OPPOSITE of anything aesthetically pleasing. It wasn't even enough to cause a lingering sense of pathos in my child's heart.........................it just made me fucking angry.
When I moved back to Carolina from Harlan, Kentucky, during high school, I found that, to my extreme shock and disappointment, Nikki had overcame the odds and SURVIVED childhood without drowning in a bucket or choking on a plastic bag. To make things even worse, she was always maddeningly positive all of the time. Her big, pale-blue eyes were full of merriment, and I HATED it. This bitch had the nerve to read me a stupid "play" she had penned, about a young girl that learns some dumb, generic, saccharine lesson after stealing some diet pills from a drug store. The moral of this "pivotal work" was supposed to be something like "Honesty is the best policy", or "You're alright, just the way you are", but it just made me want to shoot myself in the fucking face-a-roo.
THE MORAL OF THIS POST? DON'T BE A STUPID BITCH!!!!!
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