RE: Please advise me. I'm scared I am being stalked (Full Version)

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FelinePersuasion -> RE: Please advise me. I'm scared I am being stalked (8/14/2006 1:10:56 AM)

I go to bdsm clubs alone all the time, course their reputable  buisness places with the owners and hosts onsite, Clean locations clean neighhborhoods. I have never been harrased or harranged at our local bdsm clubs, nor at the Citidel,  It's not to say it could never happen once in a blue moon it does, But Cat screens potential party goers at munches before handing out the information about the club. Loosers like Susans stalker wouldn't be allowed to hang around night after night.
the one she went to sounds rather shady, a dump and a dive to boot.
quote:

ORIGINAL: cruise

NEVER go to a club like that without a chaperone, male or female. Men will not push themselves on you if you are paired up with another female. Ive been a bouncer in some rough bars and the one advice that hit it on the nail was showing this guy that you have no weakness. She was right in saying that he would scurry away like a chuhuahua(sp). Guys like that prey on weakness, so dont show him any. Be strong, have your plan in order in case he does come around again, then execute that plan. One more thing, you arent bothering the bouncer by telling him that this guy is bugging you. On the contrary, that is what he is there for. Ive thrown out many a guy for bugging a lady. Bouncers have no tolerance for guys like that, and even if it turns out to be nothing, at least you have a set of trained eyes watching you and protecting you the rest of the night. Hope this helps in some way.



shigglyboom -> RE: Please advise me. I'm scared I am being stalked (8/14/2006 5:09:02 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: FelinePersuasion

the one she went to sounds rather shady, a dump and a dive to boot.


And you get this information where? From the fact that the place was on the border of a lower class neighborhood, not in tiptop shape, and the grass wasn't cut?

Cmon, people, try not to fall into stereotypes here. From everything Susan's said the people in the house have acted responsibly and considerately. Maybe they had never met the man before... maybe he's a regular but no one's ever reported a problem with him before... maybe he came with excellent references, real or forged. I agree it's a shame she didn't meet the love of her life there the other night instead - but if she were glowing would you still be calling the place "shady"?

I have no info on or investment in the place, just hate hasty conclusions. Columbine's not a dive of a high school, nor is its administration shady, just because two murderers attended. Given the information in hand, this place is no different.



GddssBella -> RE: Please advise me. I'm scared I am being stalked (8/14/2006 6:25:35 AM)

G'morning all:


FP, I did mention that Gandalf's site was good, but it's also full of errors. There's no hard and fast rule that applies to every state/country. Nor can any site encompass them all. The legal links provided on the site would be more helpful rather than the subjective advice anyone here can provide. The OP must also take the following into consideration;

"Does this mean that a stalking victim should not obtain a restraining order? No. It does mean, however, that a stalking victim should not obtain one routinely. Before a victim obtains a restraining order, she must research how these orders are enforced in her jurisdiction in similar cases. Seek out other stalking victims, through support groups, domestic violence programs, etc. and ask them. Find out if a restraining order violation is a misdemeanor (as it is in most jurisdictions) or a felony. If it is a misdemeanor, it is much less likely to be enforced. When is the last time you heard of someone being arrested for spitting, littering or loitering? The police will almost always tell you they will arrest. Find out if this means taking the stalker to jail or just giving him a citation." From Gandalf's link.

It's the beginning of a legal paper trail. So long as the stalker doesn't become physical, the police most likely will treat it lightly. Unfortunately. To the OP, don't be lulled into a false sense of security either. It's only paper. It's not a brick wall you can hide behind.

You have to stop presenting yourself as prey. Any predator can scent fear. You can maintain civility while still shooting the horny toads down. Me, I don't bother with the niceties though. I just tell them "I'm not interested, bug off." Anything sterner that needs to be said will be said be presented something like this - "If you continue to harass me, you'll find yourself in jail tonight. Got it?".  I don't suffer the fools lightly. Then again, weighing in at 220 pounds and standing 5'7", I don't present as a victim, most identify me rightly as a dominant, see my no nonsense attitude, and back away before they miss a section of their anatomy. I wouldn't be aiming for the groin either. All males expect that. A hard grind upon someone's instep is a marvelous deterrent. A swift kick to a kneecap, either side, front for pain, back to make them fall, is also handy. Don't grapple with the offender; hit, damage, run. Get to safety. Call the police. In that order.


Stay safe, play nice, & share your toys w/ others...


[:D]


Bella



FelinePersuasion -> RE: Please advise me. I'm scared I am being stalked (8/14/2006 10:05:26 AM)

She says so herself it was run down the lawn needed mowing it was dirty inside. And the house needed painting.

That's not a nice establishment to me. It's not the sign of someone who takes pride in owning and running a bdsm place. The dungion those people own should not be dirty or looking neglected and ran down.


quote:

ORIGINAL: FelinePersuasion

the one she went to sounds rather shady, a dump and a dive to boot.


And you get this information where? From the fact that the place was on the border of a lower class neighborhood, not in tiptop shape, and the grass wasn't cut?

Cmon, people, try not to fall into stereotypes here. From everything Susan's said the people in the house have acted responsibly and considerately. Maybe they had never met the man before... maybe he's a regular but no one's ever reported a problem with him before... maybe he came with excellent references, real or forged. I agree it's a shame she didn't meet the love of her life there the other night instead - but if she were glowing would you still be calling the place "shady"?

I have no info on or investment in the place, just hate hasty conclusions. Columbine's not a dive of a high school, nor is its administration shady, just because two murderers attended. Given the information in hand, this place is no different.




JoanFrost -> UPDATES??? (8/14/2006 12:00:38 PM)

Hey Susan, you still out there? I was thinking about you today, and wondering if you'd had any luck with the neighbors and coppers and such... no posts from you since yesterday. Here's hoping you're happy and well.

Joan



SusanofO -> RE: UPDATES??? (8/14/2006 2:50:54 PM)

I'm fine! Thanks for asking. I did talk to the owner of the house tpday - and he told me as far as he is concerned, this guy is banned from the house (and he said he will also talk to the other owners about this, and notify the bouncer). So - that is good news, I guess.

Unless he gets really pissed at me and decides to get vindictive, I guess. But - I have not received any more notes from this guy - and no news, as far as that goes, is good news.

- Susan



JoanFrost -> RE: UPDATES??? (8/14/2006 4:44:50 PM)

Ahhhh, so good to know you're ok. Take care.

Joan



SusanofO -> RE: UPDATES??? (8/14/2006 8:51:19 PM)

Thanks. Tommorrow, I've got a locksmith coming over.
Also, I am still working on finding out this guy's last name, just in case I need it.
You take care, too. And have a good night.

-Susan



nefertari -> RE: UPDATES??? (8/14/2006 10:24:17 PM)

SusanofO - I'm so glad that the owners of the house were so responsive.  Hopefully this will be the last of it.

Be well.



SusanofO -> RE: UPDATES??? (8/14/2006 10:32:04 PM)

Thank you, nefertari. Yes, I hope so, too,
- Susan



formenteralady -> RE: UPDATES??? (8/15/2006 12:10:44 AM)

Susan,

I hope they are keeping your name quite...as I imagine that he has bothered more then one person, and i 'm hopeing you didn't give out your name to him. :D



FirmhandKY -> RE: UPDATES??? (8/15/2006 6:50:47 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: SusanofO

Thanks. Tommorrow, I've got a locksmith coming over.
Also, I am still working on finding out this guy's last name, just in case I need it.


On a lighter note ... I hope your stalker isn't a locksmith ... [:)]

FHky



SusanofO -> RE: UPDATES??? (8/15/2006 9:58:49 AM)

It was indeed time for a joke in this thread, FirmHandKy. Thanks - (I hope so, too!)

- Susan



angelthighhighs -> RE: UPDATES??? (8/16/2006 8:30:26 PM)

on a side note, if you go to the other munches i would keep an eye out for this guy....he may be involved with more than one group. if you see him i wouldn't try to start trouble but please don't be afraid to go to the Dungeon Master and let him know the experience you had with this guy......only if you see him of course. they may not do anything to him at that time but at least they will know to keep an eye on him.....and you.  i know the DM at the groups i use to go to was very protective of the females that were involved.



crouchingtigress -> RE: UPDATES??? (8/16/2006 9:50:58 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: SusanofO

It was indeed time for a joke in this thread,

- Susan
Two nuns went out of the convent to sell cookies. One of them is known as Sister Mathematical (SM) and the other one is known as Sister Logical(SL).
It is getting dark and they are still far away from the convent.
SL: Have you noticed that a man has been following us for the past half-hour?
SM.: Yes, I wonder what he wants.
SL: It's logical. He wants to have his way with us.
SM: Oh, no! At this rate he will reach us in 15 minutes at the most. What can we do?
SL: The only logical thing to do of course is that we have to start walking faster.
SM: It is not working.
SL: Of course it is not working. The man did the only obvious thing to do. He started to walk faster too.
SM: So, what shall we do? At this rate he will reach us in one minute.
SL: The only logical thing we can do is split. You go that way and I'll go this way. He cannot follow both of us.
So the man decided to go after Sister Logical.
Sister Mathematical arrives at the convent and is worried because Sister Logical has not yet arrived.
Finally, Sister Logical arrives.
SM: Sister Logical! Thank God you are here! Tell us what happened!
SL: The only logical thing happened. The man could not follow both of us, so he followed me.
SM: So, what happened? Please tell us.
SL: The only logical thing to happen. I started to run as fast as I could.
SM: So what happened?
SL: The only logical thing to happen. The man also started to run as fast as he could.
SM: And what else?
SL: The only logical thing to happen. He reached me.
SM: Oh, no! What did you do then?
SL: The only logical thing to do. I lifted my dress up.
SM: Oh, Sister. What did the man do?
SL: The only logical thing to do. He pulled down his pants.
SM: Oh, no! What happened then?
SL: Isn't it logical, Sister? A nun with her dress up can run faster than a man with his pants down!
(And you thought it would be dirty! Say two Hail Mary's...)



SusanofO -> RE: UPDATES??? (8/17/2006 12:37:05 AM)

Great joke, crouching tigress! Thanks!
[:D]
- Susan



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