RE: Please advise me. I'm scared I am being stalked (Full Version)

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Skier -> RE: Please advise me. I'm scared I am being stalked (8/12/2006 6:15:20 PM)

Oops, that should be 'advice', not 'advise'. *smiles*



WhipTheHip -> RE: Please advise me. I'm scared I am being stalked (8/12/2006 6:38:23 PM)

I highly recommend not trying to attack any guy with your 
hands or an object in your hands.  Yes, if you fight back
there is a greater chance the attacker will flee, but there
is also a much greater chance you will just anger him,
and he will inflict grevious bodily injury.  If you think the
guy is going to kill you, I suppose you have nothing to
lose.  Statistics show that women who try to use their
hands to fight off attackers have a much higher probability
of suffering grievous injury.  The best defense is to
have a shotgun in your bedroom, and a handgun hidden
in your bathroom.  Leave martial arts to Chuck Norris,
and Jackie Chan.

In a really dire situation where you have all ready been
kidnapped, there is one way you can save yourself.
Get the guy to talk, and ask why does what he does.
Ask if he has a family or believes in God.  Ask him
if he was always a killer, and ask what made him a
killer.

Empathize with him.  When you show compassion
and understanding to someone who is not used to
it, you may touch their heart.  You may think most
killers are monsters and don't have a heart, but this
would be wrong.  There is a reason why everyone
behaves the way they do.  Most criminals are not
completely evil.  Criminals like Hannible Lechter
are just in the movies. Most crimianls were abused
themselves.  This does not justify what they do,
but it can help you understand them, and the more
you understand them the greater your chance of
getting away alive.
 
If you can get the guy to believe you like him and
enjoy his company, and are willing to do whatever
he wants you to do, you are likely to survive even
if the guy would have killed you.  Once your are
kidnapped, get the guy to believe you would see
him again voluntarily if you could.  Many attackers
believe this, stop their attack, and come back
to date you.
 
I take this from many cases where women escaped
the cluthes of a serial killer or an assailant who  
intended to murder them.   You have to pretend not
to be afraid, and to really like the assailent, and
understand why must act the way he is acting. Of
course, this is something very hard to do with
someone who is trying to kill you, but if you can do
this, you can save your life, and help catch the guy.
 



popeye1250 -> RE: Please advise me. I'm scared I am being stalked (8/12/2006 6:45:59 PM)

Susan, you want to get back at this guy?
Sick that Jehovah's Witness guy on him!
The one who you said always comes around to your house.
"This guy needs saving! He's a devil worshiper, wears a mask and everything!"
" You can find him hanging around this house where they have parties at....."
"He told me he wants to be "Saved!"



Skier -> RE: Please advise me. I'm scared I am being stalked (8/12/2006 6:48:05 PM)

WhiptheHip,

I read that research indicates that resistance IS the 'safer' method. Women SHOULD fight back. I can't cite the reference, but it was reputable. Yell and  scream as well. Whatever you do, do NOT go off with him even if he has the drop on you.  Resist and/or run while still in public. You have a better chance. Survival rates drop drastically if the perp gets you alone. UGH. Isn't this depressing?

As a species....well sometimes you have to wonder...



popeye1250 -> RE: Please advise me. I'm scared I am being stalked (8/12/2006 6:51:41 PM)

Skier, that's true!



formenteralady -> RE: Please advise me. I'm scared I am being stalked (8/12/2006 6:56:58 PM)

Ok now for my 2 cents.

I've had a stalker before and had to start getting the right info together for a restraining order, that web page Gandolf posted was right RESTRAINING ORDERS AFFORD YOU ALMOST NO PROTECTION.  but if the asshat violates one long enoug he will go to jail..that being said in most states inorder to get a restraining order, even with the best legal help avaliable, you have to have X amount of documented occurances of the stalker approaching you unsolictedly.  Now how many times, how they contact you, and what kind of documentation you have to have has to do with your State law.  In Texas you have to have 5 documented incidences where witnesses present and later signed written confessions infront of a notery (a notery is ususaly aviable for free through your bank btw), or the police have to show up and  make a report.  Some states are better about this then texas, some are worse.  So basicly every single time this guy shows up at your home/somewhere you are call the police, and have any friendly witnesses/yourself write up an account of this man being thier includeing as detailed of a discription of him as possible, and get a copy of the police  report.

frankly you can NOT be to paranoid in this set of circumstances, stalkers are more often then not harmless, but you can't assume that.

Now as for the home defense suggestion, if you're going to use mace, get police issue dye laced/ultraviolet mace.  The reason you want police issue is because it's going to stun him long enough for you to potentialy run away and imediatly call the police.  Police Issue mace IS bad enough this person will not be able to wash it off, and he will eventualy have to seek medial treatment ... The good thing about him haveing to seek medical treatment is that an ER legaly has to call the police any time they get in a maced person, also the mace with the dye/uv dye they can easily prove he is the man you maced.  remember though mace is only good if you spray in thier face while closeing your own eyes for about 3 seconds, then run the hell away. DO NOT be tough, leave.

As for the knife issues, a knife is not always the best self defesnse wepon (i've worked jobs where i've had to poetentialy defend myself (porn store in the bad part of town) AND i usd to sell knives), but if you have to use a knife, you want to get one with a locking blade (not swis army) and one that has perhaps a thumb screw that you can flick it open with.... I do not suggest sheething knives because they are ILLEGAL in most states, and ususaly they are rather large.  now IF YOU HAVE TO STAB SOMEONE with a home knife, your swiss kinfe..watever... you want to hold the knife in your hand so that the blade comes out of your fist where your pinky finger is, not out by your thumb like you are cutting up dinner.  The reason is you have the support of your arm when you stab, and yes you are going to want to follow your instincts and stab downward.  Also if you have to stab someone aim for the gut, once again this will only TEMPORARLY DISABLE them and give you time to RUN AWAY AND IMEDIALY CALL THE POLICE...The reason for this is unless you are trained to use a knife, you are NOT going to stab them in the chest or back and kill them.  If the gut is not clear, you want to make a good slash at thier face, this ususaly sends them imedialy into shock, and once again gives you time to get away.  But when in doubt, go for the gut.   This is pretty much the same rule of thumb for shooting... and like the above senario with Police Issue mace, makes it to where they will have to go to the ER, and the ER will have to call the police.

The one wepon i will suggest to you is a belt clip stun gun, you can get one that will temporarely disable a person for 5-30 seconds in the 40-90 dollar range.  These are particularly good in combonation with mace as a sure fire wway to disable someone just long enough to get away and imdediatly call the police, but the benefit of a stun type attack weapon is you don't have to touch a particular part of the body to disable them, you just have to make contact.  Also you could clip it to the outside of the purse/belt when you are walking in parking lots et for easy access. but once again A STUN GUN IS ONLY GOOD TO GET AWAY FROM YOUR ATTACK, RUN AS FAST AS YOU CAN TO A PUBLIC AREA/PAY PHONE AND CALL THE POLICE. 

Now another really great defense idea is a whistle, or blow horn, or some kind of alarm you can rip off yoru keys that will make a loud noise and draw attention, which also reminds me DON'T BE AFRAID TO SCREAM LIKE A CRAZY WOMAN, YELL "NO" "SOMEONE CALL 911" and scream out your full name, and for someone to call 911.   do not scream "help me", people take that less seriously

Now the trick listed here about carrying your car keys between your fingers is something suggested by the police, because ususaly it causes you to walk with confidence to your car, and if a potential attacker has to choose between the bitchy looking woman ready to try to punch them with her keys, or the mousey woman running nerviously to her car, they aren't going to risk getting hit by a crazy bitch.  the key thing isn't the most effective form of protection, but it's way better then nothing.

as for the advice someone listed about getting a gun... first off IF you can leagaly carry one on the street, you have to ask yourself if you can pull it out of your purse quicker then mace/stun gun  and IF you're going to have the balls to aim and fire to at least mame...if not possibly kill someone.  Through most states in the USA are NOT friendly to carrying concield guns or guns period... I live in one of the few states where you can leagaly do it with license.


now a little more personal advice, i would NOT start out telling the police or anyone you met this guy at a BDSM club, i would say "a club" and if the police/et ask you more, then elaborate... it is bad to lie in this set of circumstances, but you want to make potential legal help as friendly to you as possible... also in any papers you write refer to the club by it's name, or as a club, but try to omit what kind of activities go thier..unfortunatly we live in a narrow minded world.

good luck to you sweetie, i'm hopeing this guy is going to back off now, please let us know what's going on.



NastyDaddy -> RE: Please advise me. I'm scared I am being stalked (8/12/2006 7:27:41 PM)

Although I don't want to state the obvious, I must... Susan have you ever thought that the stalking guy who is also a bdsm lifestyler may be a collarme member or message board reader???

I stopped at page two after seeing you answering tactical questions to describe what locks you have, who your neighbors are... TMI girl... TMI (too much information)....

If this obvious aspect has been previously posted in the thread, my apologies, but GD... cover your information backside!!!





nefertari -> RE: Please advise me. I'm scared I am being stalked (8/12/2006 7:46:20 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: celticsub


Second, DO NOT make any attempt to contact him in any way, shape or form....this guy will take it as an advance from you!  Do not call his job, his friends, neighbors and family to tell them what he did....that puts you in jeopardy of legal action from him....why LOOK for trouble. 



All of the experts agree on this one.  Any contact by you will only encourage him, even if you're only contacting him to tell him to back off.  If he gets ahold of your phone number they say to not change the number.  Hook up an answering machine (not voicemail) to that line and let the answering machine only answer that call.  That way you have documentation of harrassment.  Then get a second, unlisted line for friends and family.

Good luck.



WhiteRadiance -> RE: Please advise me. I'm scared I am being stalked (8/12/2006 7:55:07 PM)

Susan,
 
I do not think anyone can know how truly scary it is to be stalked until they have it happen to them. 
All the advice you have been given is excellent advice and I have to say that NastyDaddy made a very valid point as well.
 
What stuck out at me on your story was the following:
You are a very attractive woman. I'd like to whip you until you cry, and then fuck you."

I wasn't sure if this was a compliment, but maybe. I have to say, I was a little surprised. The room did have a Dungeon Master, but I didn't want to bother him with petty stuff, and I figured it was harmless flattery, so I said:

"Well, I am just here to watch, but thanks."  I went to find a seat on a couch against the wall, and was going to watch a gal getting flogged across the room. He followed me. He said the same thing again. So, I repeated myself.

Susan, what you may have meant to be courtesy was translated by this prick to be a positive response.
To thank him for treating you like a piece of meat sent the signal that you were flattered by his behavoir.

Please remember..not everyone is honorable or deserving of respect.  Not all BDSMers are true to the life.  These days we have to be on guard.  Predators abound everywhere.

Susan, you are the most gentle soul on this board and I adore you.  No one should speak to you the way he did.  If anyone ever does so again, you should give him a "go to hell and die" look and no response. 
 
I tell my neighbors everything.  Neighbors are treasures. So are big mean dogs! ;)




popeye1250 -> RE: Please advise me. I'm scared I am being stalked (8/12/2006 8:11:03 PM)

Formentor, I just checked the laws for the state of Nebraska on the NRA site and you don't need a permit to buy a shotgun or rifle but do need a "Certificate" which the Police will issue within 2 days.
After that you can keep the handgun in your home.
There is no Concealed Carry of Weapons law in Nebraska right now but as of 1 Jan 2007 there will be and you can simply apply to your local Police Dept for one.
And with very few exceptions you can carry a gun in most states with a permit and certain states have "Reciprocity Agreements" with other states that honor the other states permits.
The exceptions are the usual culprits and of course all "Blue" states with high rates of crime; Massachusetts, Conn, NYC, N.Y. State, New Jersey,, Illinois, Calif. and one or two others.



enigmabrat -> RE: Please advise me. I'm scared I am being stalked (8/12/2006 8:11:40 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: DoctorDubious

quote:

ORIGINAL: SusanofO

Am I over-reacting? Should I feel threatened? Should I call  the police? Should I tell the BDSM house this happened? He didn't do anything to me...he just has a weird approach. he hasn't hurt me, but he has managed to freak me out. I don't know this guy at all. Plus, I am 5'6" and 125 pounds, tops. This guy is over six feet and over 200 pounds, I am sure.


- Susan


Hey S, and all....

Just my very distant take on it....
and this free advice is worth almost twice what ya paid for it...


Am I over-reacting?
Yes

>>Should I feel threatened?
Yes

>>Should I call  the police?
No


>>Should I tell the BDSM house this happened
Yes

*************

Look, if you still really scared and freaked out
when you wake up on Sunday,
then do something about it.
Fear tends to accumulate and build on itself.

Find out the creepy fucker's name
and have a strong, grounded, articulate  friend of yours phone him
and  very politely tell him that if he ever stalks you again
... or acts innapropriatly...
you'll have his ass up on charges
that will hurt a fuck of a lot more than his limp whip.

Make sure you follow that call up with a very specific letter to him,
clearly copied to your lawyer that briefly details the story,
and your insistance that he leave you alone forever.
Point out specifically that you are copying this story to your lawyer,
and make sure your lawyer gets his copy.

He's doing cheap power tricks with you,
and will continue being a nuisance if you show weakness.

But.... I'll bet you an exploding cigar
that when you meet his flaccid feeble stalking
with strong, resolute, accurate and clear power,
he'll scamper back to hitting on other new faces at the club
and treat you with respectful distance... or avoid you altogether.

Cheap power is always afraid of the real stuff.

DD,
naah, reading it over, I see this free advice
ain't worth double the price at all....
take what you will, and dump the rest...

 


You give the WORST advise I have ever read!!!!!!!



swtnsparkling -> RE: Please advise me. I'm scared I am being stalked (8/12/2006 8:18:57 PM)

quote:

If this obvious aspect has been previously posted in the thread,

It was - post 68
seems you and I had the same thought....



MistressTexas -> RE: Please advise me. I'm scared I am being stalked (8/12/2006 9:05:36 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: WhipTheHip

I highly recommend not trying to attack any guy with your 
hands or an object in your hands.  Yes, if you fight back
there is a greater chance the attacker will flee, but there
is also a much greater chance you will just anger him,
and he will inflict grevious bodily injury.  If you think the
guy is going to kill you, I suppose you have nothing to
lose.  Statistics show that women who try to use their
hands to fight off attackers have a much higher probability
of suffering grievous injury.  The best defense is to
have a shotgun in your bedroom, and a handgun hidden
in your bathroom.  Leave martial arts to Chuck Norris,
and Jackie Chan.

(SNIP)
 


Please... I'm begging you... Tell me you're kidding.... A woman should *not* try to defend herself with her hands? Martial arts are best left to the movies? Whoops, stupid me breaking a muggers kneecap, what on earth was I thinking...

I reccomended Brazillian ju-jitsu for a damn good reason. It's not a showy art. Would I recccomend Taekwon-Do for self defense? Oh hell no. Why? Because its essentially useless. Too many spins, and jumps, and overly high kicks. Not enough raw pain. Yes, the style of martial arts Jackie Chan practices probably should be left to Jackie Chan. While I'm sure he could kick my ass with an embarrasingly small stick, his arts are very much for show. On a side node, Chuck Norris actually practices Muai Thai, which is deadly.

ANYWHO! A woman.. and anyone else for that matter, should defend themselves with whatever tool they happen to have available, and not allow that tool to make them cocky. Thats the big thing. Taking a martial art will not make you impervious to harm. Taking the RIGHT martial art will teach you to defend yourself to the best of your capabilities. It will also teach you to be calm when adrenaline is pumping through your system, and to think on your feet.

ugh I apoligize for the rant, it just infuriates me when people say martial arts are useless. I personally have had several occasions to use every art I have ever studied. And yes I firmly believe there are a couple times it has saved my life.



Sinergy -> RE: Please advise me. I'm scared I am being stalked (8/12/2006 9:14:20 PM)

Hello A/all,

The book "The Gift Of Fear" by Gavin DeBecker talks about this.

Do you have the person's license number or description?  Go down to the police station and file a "Do Not Trespass" order.  This is simply a form you fill out, the person is notified to leave you alone.

If they fail to leave you alone, the District Attorney files a restraining order against them.  You dont have to do anything for it apart from the initial order.

It is one way to say "No" to somebody bothering you which hopefully they will understand.  And if they dont, it is the District Attorney who clarifies it for them without requiring your involvement.

Just me, could be wrong, etc.

Sinergy



zenofeller -> RE: Please advise me. I'm scared I am being stalked (8/12/2006 9:55:49 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Sinergy
Just me, could be wrong, etc.


i think so. afaik a no trespassing order is intended to protect property, such as industrial plots, abandoned mines etc, not persons. it's a different avenue, which maybe maybe could pe pushed in the circumstance if you own hectares of farm land and don't intend to leave it.

this thread should really be locked. everything that makes sense has already been said multiple times, what's left is people stepping over each other to suggest cookier and cookier approaches to stand out. it's really simple.

1. don't initiate communication, in any form.
2. remedy any security holes, such as bad locks and missing lights. if you feel like doing sport, start a self defense class, if you don't, don't.
3. take a modicum of precaution, things you should be doing anyway, such as not taking long walks in bad neighbourhoods after 2am drunk, don't sleep with the door/window open, carry a cell phone etc.
4. if you have the resources and can be bothered, you may consider documenting your life, from a phone machine to surveillance cameras. if not, no big deal.

the rest of the stuff is mostly bullshit. specifically

1. any ammount of keys, sprays, knives and soaps in socks in your purse is worth didly squat. the guy will just sneak behind you, put you in a blood choke hold and fuck you raw. your chances to pick up with a man in any form of close quarters combat are dismal. years of practice and focus will allow the more persistent and talented female to do it. treating this in the "anyone can do it" category only serves to drive the victim bonkers. not anyone can do it. not anyone should do it. don't spend two months working out furiously and haphazardly and scratching all your joints just because the feminist on call said so.

2. restraining orders are as a rule more hassle than it's worth. if the guy is persistent, it might help, but persistent means a year+.

3. guns are one thing, and one thing only. they are a way to get killed. there is absolutely no chance in hell that if you don't already own a gun, getting one will help you. it will hurt you. if you do already own a gun, that's a different matter. but if you don't, the two most likely scenarios are that a) you will encounter someone more proficient with firearms than you, who will lodge it in your rectum or b) you will encounter someone just as proficient with firearms as you, who will panic, because they feel in deadly danger and shoot you dead.

4. various and sundry other crap i read on here that i can't be bothered to mention specifically.

relax and be reasonable.



SusanofO -> RE: Please advise me. I'm scared I am being stalked (8/13/2006 12:06:04 AM)

Well. My friends and I went to dinner - there were 16 of us there! The restaurant was great, and it was someone's birthday, so we had cake for dessert. Afterward, a bunch of people went to see the new movie "World Trade Center" . Except my gal friend and me- we drove straight to the BDSM house. It was about 9:30pm. Thankfully, they were open, because I haven't got any phone number for them.

I asked to talk to the "manager", and the big bouncer guy who walked me to my car last night was at the door tonight, and told me they were not there tonight. I asked him who actually owns the house and if they are the same people/person who would be considered the "manager" (or whatever). He asked me why I needed to know, and so I told him what happened last night and about the note I found this morning on my porch door.

I could tell he was genuinely concerned (either that or he is putting on a darn good show). He told me he would contact the owner-manager person (one of them anyway) and if I could come by tommorrow afternoon, he would have their name(s) for me (if they agree to let him tell me). I said thank you very much, because he was sooo nice to me tonight.

What I didn't say was: "And -if you don't give me their name(s), I am following Whip the Hip's advice, and looking them up in the county property records anyway. And, if I have trouble with this, I am sure my sister (the attorney) could advise me how, as she seems to spend about 25% of her work day doinmg things like that and knows where all of the records are located and how to decipher them. I can just give her some other reason I need to know how to do it." 

I asked for the phone number of the house, and he said there is no main phone - everyone just uses their personal cell phone. For some reason (and I credit myself w/great intuition in these matters, don't ask me why) - I just didn't believe him. It seemed strange to me, but I suppose it is possible. In any case, I had to let it go. I asked him for his cell phone number so I could call tommorrow afternoon before I drove over. He gave me his cell phone, which I later checked - and it is him. He told me to come over about 2pm tommorrow and he will be there. I also asked him if he knows this guys's last name. he said he needs to find out if he can, and also if he does he neds to make sure he can tell me.

He acted like he wants to tell me, I don't really doubt that. But - for some reason, the thought crossed my mind that he could just be putting me off, and I will show up tommorrow afternoon and maybe nobody will be there. Hope that doesn't happen. If he cannot tell me the owner-manager's names, or try to find out this guy's name, I can still e-mail my gal pal from last night and ask her if she knows it, since this guy shows up there almost every week-end, she said.

In any case, he was angry that happened to me - and he said that he hadn't shown up tonight (yet), but that next time he does (if he does, which he probably will, sounds like), he is saying something to him about it and telling him off. He also said if he ever hears this happens with this guy again, to anyone there at all - he is barred from the house. For good. And he told me he will tell the owner(s)-manager(s) about him and see if they want him barred now. If they do, he's gone for good, apparently.

I am not sure how  I feel about that, although I am glad I was taken at least semi-seriously by the bouncer. I am hoping now that I don't just make this quasi-stalker guy just hate me. Then I will have a problem - he's strange enough when he's beeing "friendly"...

It went better tonight than I guess I expected. At least he (the bouncer) didn't blow me off completely. I wish an owner-manger person would havebeen there, though. My gal friend was horrified about the neighborhood (and she is not a snob). She said she could not believe I walked around there alone, and said how could you do that? Well, okay, but hell - she used to live about 6 blocks away, right after she graduated from college. I've lived in worse neighborhoods myself (in college). It really isn't the ghetto.

There are other parts of Omaha that are considered Crips and Bloods gang territory that many people won't even frequent in daytime - this isn't one of those neghborhoods, it's just a run down area. She asked me if we could take a guy (as in male) with us tommorrow - so I am calling my submissive male friend and seeing if he can go with us in the morning. He is 6 feet tall and Mr. Muscle (he's in great physical shape). If he can't go (I know he will if he can), I could get the lesbian college professors from next door - ha! They will both storm in there - and won't take "No" for an answer - and maybe even will bring their biker friends with them. I just love those two - they are great neighbors.Well, that might be overkill. Nice to know they'd probably do that, though.

It is kind of creepy over there, though - and the house looked creepier tonight to me, for some reason. It is an old, gray-colored Victorian in need of a paint job and some shingles. What lawn there is needs to be mowed. Whoever does own it really could invest a few bucks in maintenance, at least for cosmetic reasons. Of course, some people don't think that way, and most of the neighborhood is just as bad so maybe they figure who cares?  

Thanks for all of the kind advice and the ear, people. I'll let ya'll know what happens after I go over there tommorrow to that house again. Hope I am not just getting the run around from the bo0uncer (he seems sincere, though).

I did calll the police, though. They are making a run around the few blocks round here evert hour for a few nights. I am thankful for that. And my gal freind is here tonight. She said she will stay tommorrow night, too, if I want her to do that. Maybe I will ask her.

Thanks everyone. It meant a lot to be listened to - it really helped me. 

- Susan



Calandra -> RE: Please advise me. I'm scared I am being stalked (8/13/2006 12:40:51 AM)

Susan, I realize that My advice is too late for you to follow now, but I'm posting in hopes that someone may benefit from it in the future:
 
If you notice you are being followed...
 
DO NOT GO HOME!
DO NOT GO TO A FRIEND OR FAMILY MEMBER'S HOME!
 
DRIVE DIRECTLY TO A POLICE STATION OR HOSPITAL.
 
Stalkers don't want to be discovered by anyone but their intended victim.
They like situations where they are in control, and they cannot control a police station or a hospital. Police are obvious choices, but it may surprise you to know that many women who are in domestic abuse situations are asked to meet their women's shelter contact person in the hospital because there are many, many ways to exit the building unobserved by a single abuser.
 
If you are being followed, you can alert security and then ask to be taken somewhere secure where you can call a cab. If possible, have your car moved to a secure location or picked up by a friend later.
 
There is NO REASON to place yourself in danger by minimizing the situation. Act in your behalf without apology, because your life and well-being are both precious.



Dauric -> RE: Please advise me. I'm scared I am being stalked (8/13/2006 1:11:23 AM)

Hmm...

My guess is that the bouncer really is barred from telling you that guy's name, there's privacy concerns about revealing clients names that go even to completrely 'nilla concerns like buying cars and books. Odds are that you'll be talking to the manager to get the guy's name rather than them letting the bouncer tell you.

Quality of the neighborhood aside, and this is all just my own $0.02 mind you, If the owners of the building cannot, or -will not- invest in the exterior of their establishment, even to the degree of getting a lawnmower and spending an hour or two trimming the grass every week, then you should probably avoid the place, -especially- when you're alone. I'm being a bit of a bookcover judge which I don't normally do, but this is a safety thing. If they're not going to invest in the building, what else are they willing to not invest in?

I'm sure that there are plenty of people on CM that can point you to reputable places to go, and even then make sure you have a good idea of the person that gives you that location: eg. read their posts in other topics. I think most people here, especially in this thread, are honorable ones that will treat you right.

Keep us posted, I'm sure we all want to know how this turns out now, besides when you keep posting we all know you're okay.

$0.02

Dauric.



FelinePersuasion -> RE: Please advise me. I'm scared I am being stalked (8/13/2006 1:27:33 AM)

Actually guns are more often used against victoms in home  robberies and other break ins.

Asking the guy for his phone number and shit may  just give him the attention  he wants, and may make things worse and in my opnion is irresponcible to suggest. If she see's him again she should ignore him and quickly head the other way. Engaging your stalker IS NOT smart, wise, nor would it be recomended by any of the authorities I bet.

quote:

ORIGINAL: WhipTheHip

I'd buy a shotgun, then learn how to use it.  .  Tell him, if he doesn't
stop harrassing you, you will let all his neighbors know, the police
know, and his boss know just what kind of jerk he is.

If you see him again, ask for his phone number and say you'd like
to call him.  Then when you call him, tell him you've given his phone
number to the police.  Try to get the tag number off his car.  Tell
him if he doesn't stop bothering you, you will become his biggest
nightmare.  Get some guy to threaten him with harm, if he doesn't
stop stalking you.





Dauric -> RE: Please advise me. I'm scared I am being stalked (8/13/2006 1:40:38 AM)

They key to having any weapon for self defense is knowing how to use it. An unfortuate number of people buy a gun to "Feel safe" but they never go to a shooting range to learn how to use it, or even practice with the weapon. In most cases where the weapon is turned against the owner, the owner had no idea how to properly use or care for the weapon in question. 

                                                            "Do not stop chain with hands or genitals."
                                                                   -- Safety disclaimer on a chainsaw.

A gun is a tool (under the definition of a device built to perform a task), and like any tool knowing how to use it is the most important thing. A handgun is just a lump of metal unless you know, without looking, how to disengage the safety.

$0.02

Dauric.



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