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Ideal fantasy top? Ideal fantasy bottom? - 8/19/2006 11:56:25 AM

WhipTheHip

Posts: 1004
Joined: 7/31/2006
Status: offline

If you are a male top or sadist, do you prefer to top a
female bottom that is bitchy and annoying, that takes
pain but doesn't enjoy it, that you don't really like and
she knows it, but she wants you to do her anyway?

Or a female bottom that is submissive, is a pain slut,
gets pleasure from pain, and is someone you really
like or love?

When you flog a bottom do you strive to give her
pleasure or pain?

I have a theory, I am trying to test.

My feeling is male sadist tops would rather flog a
bottom who is not submissive, who is bitchy, who
doesn't enjoy pain, who recoils from being flogged
but allows you to flog her anyway.

On the other hand, I think most female tops would
rather flog a bottom who is submissive, who
gets pleasure from pain, who is someone they
like or love rather than a bottom who is not submissive,
who does not get pleasure from pain, who is
someone they really dislike.

But I am not sure, so I would like to see how those
here answer this.

Some bottom will move their asses to get the next lash,
some bottom will move their asses to avoid the next lash.
Which bottom do you prefer?

If you are a female sub, would you rather be flogged by
male top wanting to give you pleasure or a male top
wanting to give you pain? Do you try to get away from
lashes or do you position your butt to eagerly accept the
next lash?

If you are female sub, do you perfer a real sexual sadist
or a top who loves giving pleasure through a flogger?

If you are a female top, would you rather top a male you
love, or a male you hate?

I have my own answers to these questions, but I don't
want to taint the waters with my prefrences.

< Message edited by WhipTheHip -- 8/19/2006 11:57:09 AM >

Post #: 1

RE: Ideal fantasy top? Ideal fantasy bottom? - 8/19/2006 12:03:36 PM

beenwhipped

Posts: 191
Joined: 5/14/2006
Status: offline

as a male bottom you do not address me in your post. but in my defiance i will answer any damm way.

as a male bottom i pefer a top that enjoys giving pleasure with a flogger and as far as love or hate, i dont care i just ask for respect

(in reply to WhipTheHip)

Post #: 2

RE: Ideal fantasy top? Ideal fantasy bottom? - 8/19/2006 12:08:58 PM

MysticFireTopaz

Posts: 50939
Joined: 4/23/2005
From: Dallas/Ft. Worth, TX
Status: offline

I am a Female Dominant and would much rather top a male that I love rather than one I hate. Since there is no one in My life fitting that bill right now, I will top a male that I at least like as a person.

I think if a male that I felt genuine dislike for approached Me to play, I would refuse, as I doubt that I would enjoy the experience. The males I despise wouldn't approach Me to top them anyway, so it's a non-issue, but if any of them did, I would of course refuse.

Lady Topaz

(in reply to WhipTheHip)

Post #: 3

RE: Ideal fantasy top? Ideal fantasy bottom? - 8/19/2006 12:39:11 PM

hizgeorgiapeach

Posts: 1672
Status: offline

quote:

original Whipthehip

If you are a female sub, would you rather be flogged by
male top wanting to give you pleasure or a male top
wanting to give you pain? Do you try to get away from
lashes or do you position your butt to eagerly accept the
next lash?

If you are female sub, do you perfer a real sexual sadist
or a top who loves giving pleasure through a flogger?

If you are a female top, would you rather top a male you
love, or a male you hate?

I'm neither submissive nor dominant. I am, however, a Masocist/bottom who also has a rather well defined ( and nasty ) sadistic streak - so I also top, just not nearly as often as I bottom.

As a Bottom, I frankly don't care whether the top "likes" me or not - as long as he's compitant with the tools and doesn't make the mistake of crossing any lines that I've laid out not to be crossed. He had definately better be interested in my pleasure, of I'm not likely to allow him to take a swing at me in the first place - it's about what *I like, not about what HE likes. If he also enjoys it, that's simply icing on the cake. Whether I position myself to take the next swing or not depends on to many factors to go into. Its extremely variable. As for blatant dislike - if I know he blatantly dislikes me, I have no trust for him to not cross my lines. If I have a blatant dislike for him, I'm more likely to laugh in his face if he approachs me to bottom for him and I'm certainly not going to approach him to top for me in a scene. It would be ludicrous - why would I bother to play with someone knowing that we dislike each other?

As a top, damn near the same thing can be applied. I don't honestly care whether there's some sort of deep connection - I'm not looking for one, nor am I interested in one. I simply want a target. I do, however, refrain from playing with those whom I definately dislike for safety/control issues. As a Sadist (specifically) what I enjoy is the other person's Pain. If something is pleasurable to them, it is not by (my) definition painful. If its someone that I seriously dislike, I don't trust myself not to cross the line and "forget" to stop if they tell me it's time to stop. Somehow I just don't see someone who doesn't particularly like (and therefore trust) me wanting me to unleash the inner beast upon their flesh.

_____________________________

Rhi
Light travels faster than sound, which is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
Essential Scentsations

(in reply to WhipTheHip)

Post #: 4

RE: Ideal fantasy top? Ideal fantasy bottom? - 8/19/2006 12:55:17 PM

behindmirrors

Posts: 340
Joined: 8/5/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: WhipTheHip

If you are a female sub, would you rather be flogged by
male top wanting to give you pleasure or a male top
wanting to give you pain? Do you try to get away from
lashes or do you position your butt to eagerly accept the
next lash?

If you are female sub, do you perfer a real sexual sadist
or a top who loves giving pleasure through a flogger?

I prefer a male top who is trying to do what is right for me. If he feels I need pleasure, and gives me that, or if he feels I need pain, and gives me that instead. I can take a lot of pain, but I don't want it to be everything. I like pleasure, but all of life is not that, either. I'm a pain slut when I need to be, but I definetly just want whatever is done to me to be done out of love. After that, I leave it up to my Dom to decide what's right for me at that time.

As far as sexual sadist versus top giving pleasure with a flogger, I'm inclined to say the top. A combination of the two isn't a bad thought, either. I guess it's all dependent on the individual.

Hope that helps your theory, and I'm interested in hearing your opinions on these questions you pose at some point.
behindmirrors.

(in reply to WhipTheHip)

Post #: 5

RE: Ideal fantasy top? Ideal fantasy bottom? - 8/19/2006 1:06:36 PM

mistoferin

Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline

Well you didn't provide an accurate description that fits what I am so I will elaborate.

I am a masochistic submissive who prefers Dominant Masters over Tops. I prefer that they we have a deep emotional bond. I prefer that they choose to decide what exactly they wish to give me and exactly where they want to take me. I don't move my ass to get the next lash, nor do I shy away from the next lash....I stay where I am put. I prefer real sexual sadists who have taken the time to understand the ways in which I derive pleasure from pain....and decide from there if they wish to give pain for pain's sake or pain for pleasure's sake.

Now, that being said, if I am merely playing with a sadistic top who I have no other relationship with......I am not there to please him or to give him profound submission. I am there to consentually scene. Now I may be doing it for the purpose of demonstration...or I may be doing it for the purpose of getting my own pain/pleasure agenda met in the process....or I may even be doing it because I have simply agreed to be the avenue for him to get his own "fix". In these instances all is negotiated from an even playing field....not a power exchange. My needs, wants and limitations are negotiated equally with his.

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to WhipTheHip)

Post #: 6

RE: Ideal fantasy top? Ideal fantasy bottom? - 8/19/2006 2:53:31 PM

porcelaine

Posts: 5020
Joined: 7/24/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: WhipTheHip

Some bottom will move their asses to get the next lash, some bottom will move their asses to avoid the next lash. Which bottom do you prefer?

If you are a female sub, would you rather be flogged by male top wanting to give you pleasure or a male top
wanting to give you pain? Do you try to get away from lashes or do you position your butt to eagerly accept the
next lash?

I would prefer the bottom that moves her ass when I tell her to.

As a submissive I want a dominant that has a sincere concern for my well being and a desire for my service. If he chooses to provide a pleasurable experience at that given moment, that is what we shall have. If pain is on the menu, I'm open to this too. I find great joy in both extremes and would prefer not to sacrifice one for the other. I'm a huge proponent in achieving a balanced state so to speak.

Under no circumstances would I ever submit to someone that visibly disliked me. Although I relish dispensing and receiving pain, I have no masochistic leanings. While it would be simple on some levels to engage my inner sadist and top someone I'm not overly fond of. I find that the experience would lack the other components that I enjoy and would be less than satisfying overall.

porcelaine

< Message edited by porcelaine -- 8/19/2006 2:54:07 PM >

_____________________________

His will; my fate.

(in reply to WhipTheHip)

Post #: 7

RE: Ideal fantasy top? Ideal fantasy bottom? - 8/19/2006 3:06:33 PM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

quote:

If you are a female sub, would you rather be flogged by male top wanting to give you pleasure or a male top wanting to give you pain?

I want him to give US pleasure by giving me pain

quote:

Do you try to get away from
lashes or do you position your butt to eagerly accept the
next lash?

I do both, it depends on my mood, his mood, the implement he uses, and if I am already bruised significantly. Odd thing is I enjoy his bare handed swats most of all, and so does he, and I am always eager for these. It is the connection with his skin and his enjoyment that does it for me.

quote:

If you are female sub, do you perfer a real sexual sadist or a top who loves giving pleasure through a flogger?

Both doms I have played with wanted me to enjoy it. There is a such thing as being a sensual sadist, and that is the type of sadist I want to be with. Inflicting pain on my person past my limits just to see me scream in almost a nonconsensual way does nothing for me. I need them to get sexually charged from the pain inflicted, but because our headspace is merging into this intimate thing. I love it when we go to that place together. It is just awesome. My Daddy is NOTa lifesupport system for a flogger, and if he expressed the desire to never want to spank me again I wouldn't bail on him.. I do not know how to answer this.

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to WhipTheHip)

Post #: 8

RE: Ideal fantasy top? Ideal fantasy bottom? - 8/19/2006 3:10:27 PM

LotusSong

Posts: 6334
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Domme Emeritus
Status: offline

This is my preference:

On the other hand, I think most female tops would
rather flog a bottom who is submissive, who
gets pleasure from pain, who is someone they
like or love rather than a bottom who is not submissive,
who does not get pleasure from pain, who is
someone they really dislike.

_____________________________

Life Lesson #1

I'm not your type.
I'm not inflatable.

(in reply to WhipTheHip)

Post #: 9

RE: Ideal fantasy top? Ideal fantasy bottom? - 8/19/2006 3:32:54 PM

Sinergy

Posts: 9383
Joined: 4/26/2004
Status: offline

Hello A/all,

I am not sure I fit any of the categories listed. I consider myself a Dominant, although I imagine my definition of what that means may not agree with other people's. I consider myself a top because I am the one doing the spanking, as opposed to being spanked.

I dont play casually. I dont find my attraction to this lifestyle by the infliction of pain, the use of tools, etc. What attracts me to this lifestyle is best described by Brad Pitt in "Meet Joe Black" where he says "She takes care of me, why wouldnt I want to take care of her?"

Watching my partner squirm and twitch while I spank her, chafe at her bonds, and accusingly demand to be butt-raped is what does it for me.

But as usual, that is just me and I could be wrong.

Sinergy

_____________________________

"There is a fine line between clever and stupid"
David St. Hubbins "This Is Spinal Tap"

"Every so often you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You cant do that, it is gone, gone forever." J. Danforth Quayle

(in reply to LotusSong)

Post #: 10

RE: Ideal fantasy top? Ideal fantasy bottom? - 8/19/2006 3:47:32 PM

ToServeIsToLive

Posts: 222
Joined: 11/16/2005
Status: offline

As a male sub, I'd rather have a female top that does it for their own satisfaction of inflicting pain though I get pleasure from the whole process.

(in reply to Sinergy)

Post #: 11

RE: Ideal fantasy top? Ideal fantasy bottom? - 8/19/2006 3:55:53 PM

kitty2MLoneWolf

Posts: 149
Joined: 8/19/2006
Status: offline

This has nothing to do with the actual post you wrote but in answer to the Ideal fantasy top question.. my answer is always Sean Connery..

_____________________________

used to be jessieme but I got a life <grin>

Dont worry about what other people think....they dont do it very often!

(in reply to ToServeIsToLive)

Post #: 12

RE: Ideal fantasy top? Ideal fantasy bottom? - 8/19/2006 4:28:03 PM

WhipTheHip

Posts: 1004
Joined: 7/31/2006
Status: offline

I will wait for more answers before I give my likes and my analysis,
which I think many here will find interesting even if they don't agree
with me.

(in reply to kitty2MLoneWolf)

Post #: 13

RE: Ideal fantasy top? Ideal fantasy bottom? - 8/19/2006 5:24:19 PM

catize

Posts: 3020
Joined: 3/7/2006
Status: offline

quote:

If you are a female sub, would you rather be flogged by
male top wanting to give you pleasure or a male top
wanting to give you pain? Do you try to get away from
lashes or do you position your butt to eagerly accept the
next lash?

If you are female sub, do you perfer a real sexual sadist
or a top who loves giving pleasure through a flogger?

If you are a female top, would you rather top a male you
love, or a male you hate?

quote:

I have my own answers to these questions, but I don't
want to taint the waters with my prefrences.

I can't wait for your perspective on what female submissives as well as dommes prefer! I'm so hopeful that you will be able to answer for us and save us the trouble.

< Message edited by catize -- 8/19/2006 5:52:22 PM >

_____________________________

"Power is real. But it's a lot less real if it's not perceived as power."
Robert Parker, Stranger in Paradise

(in reply to WhipTheHip)

Post #: 14

RE: Ideal fantasy top? Ideal fantasy bottom? - 8/19/2006 6:50:41 PM

WhipTheHip

Posts: 1004
Joined: 7/31/2006
Status: offline

Preferences

(in reply to catize)

Post #: 15

RE: Ideal fantasy top? Ideal fantasy bottom? - 8/19/2006 7:55:08 PM

LotusSong

Posts: 6334
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Domme Emeritus
Status: offline

Something I found long ago that explains my thoughts even moreso:

If I have chosen a male to be my submissive, I would have chosen someone that was intelligent, articulate, honest, well mannered, masculine, romantic, and with a well developed sense of humor. For now, I have chosen a male sub that I have a definite liking for as well as a bit of romantic love. Now, if I have chosen this man for all of these particular traits, why would I wish to deride him for being exactly what I wanted?

I will honor this man ...[edited] and treat him with all the respect he is due. Sometimes, I think it is much harder for a men to admit that they are submissive, especially very masculine men. But I am always glad when it happens and celebrate with joy this discovery in themselves.

I don't feel the need to "make" a man submit to my every whim, or order. In fact, for me, it is so very wonderful when this submission is offered to me without any preconceived notions that I will have to "make" them acquiess to my desires. To have them offer it to me, is so much sweeter
-Annonymous

_____________________________

Life Lesson #1

I'm not your type.
I'm not inflatable.

(in reply to LotusSong)

Post #: 16

RE: Ideal fantasy top? Ideal fantasy bottom? - 8/19/2006 8:20:04 PM

DiurnalVampire

Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: WhipTheHip

If you are a female top, would you rather top a male you
love, or a male you hate?

Thats an easy one. I top the men I love. I have always needed that personal connection in order to enjoy the interactions. Makes it harder to find a good pet, but does make it far more fulfilling once I do.

DV

_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to WhipTheHip)

Post #: 17

RE: Ideal fantasy top? Ideal fantasy bottom? - 8/19/2006 8:27:34 PM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: WhipTheHip

I will wait for more answers before I give my likes and my analysis,
which I think many here will find interesting even if they don't agree
with me.

You will definitely need more male "Tops" to answer, although my Daddy did above, and he doesn't seem to fit into your theory, and neither did my former dom, or any dom I have taken the time to get to know. Many doms are squicked by masochism., not all enjoy inflicting pain. I know this from when I was looking, many of the doms I talked to were not sadists at all

< Message edited by juliaoceania -- 8/19/2006 8:28:16 PM >

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to WhipTheHip)

Post #: 18

RE: Ideal fantasy top? Ideal fantasy bottom? - 8/19/2006 8:31:32 PM

ownedgirlie

Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline

As a slave, I prefer whatever Master decides for me. Sometimes he wants to give me pleasure, sometimes he wants to give me pain. Either can be for his own amusement, or because of something he thinks I need. If I were bitchy and annoying as your OP comments, he would not own me. He owns me because he enjoys my submission. He enjoys flogging, belting, and cropping because of my reaction - taking what he gives me and thanking him for it afterwards whether it was difficult for me or enjoyable.

Your opinion may be what your own preference is, but I can state what I stated above without any doubt, because Master has told me that is what he thinks.

(in reply to WhipTheHip)

Post #: 19

RE: Ideal fantasy top? Ideal fantasy bottom? - 8/19/2006 9:21:05 PM

Jasmyn

Posts: 1234
Joined: 2/6/2004
From: New Zealand
Status: offline

WTH, there is such a variety of dynamics going on in any one scene it's hard for me to say any particular type of session/bottom is my preference when I enjoy them all. So count me as a fem dom who enjoys a scene with a boy who can look me in the eye and call me a bitch, sometimes a fucking bitch, when I'm being my sadistic best...and enjoy it a lot ...it can mean I'm getting to him, crawling inside his head...every little bit of disgust or dislike he has for the 'female' gender/for himself...can be aimed at me, he can release aggression, exorcise his demons so to speak. So yes a little or a lot of defiance is hot, a mental and physical challenge ... alter egos, the inner bitch can come to the fore...with little to no guilt for being her... he probably loathes, not what I am doing, but that I am doing it. Or that they'll bait you to hit them harder, or cry 'is that all you've got' ... taking great pleasure and pride in the fact I'll never 'break them' ... <--- that I can't be bothered with.

I enjoy inflicting pain, so to give you an answer, all I can say is I don't want a woosey boy who flinches anytime I brush the hair from my eyes ...but neither do I enjoy some who pushes and pushes and pushes, goading me to 'prove myself' ... which says more about how they view domination than it does about me.

The domination I enjoy is about control, not dominance, with taking a dominant position being what I do ...but it is not what I am ... a theory borne out of this been ... dominate a sub, control a slave ...

quote:

On the other hand, I think most female tops would
rather flog a bottom who is submissive, who
gets pleasure from pain, who is someone they
like or love rather than a bottom who is not submissive,
who does not get pleasure from pain, who is
someone they really dislike.

No, I don't have to 'like' or 'love' someone to top them, neither do they have to particularly enjoy pain or even get pleasure from it...being submissive or not being submissive is neither here nor there ... all they have to be, is aware with their mind body and soul they are subservient to me ...if they can't give me that respect ...then I wouldn't be scening with them ... as to someone I dislike? I don't think any dom, male or female would intentionally scene with someone they dislike so that's kind of a moot point (?) unless your theory is something along the lines of male doms don't need to be intimate with someone to dominate them but fem doms do? If it is, count me out of that pretty please ... see above, mutual respect is all I need to top someone, like or dislike is irrellevant...

quote:

Some bottom will move their asses to get the next lash,
some bottom will move their asses to avoid the next lash.
Which bottom do you prefer?

Again, something that is scene specific ... spanking a wriggling, begging for mercy body of jelly has it's merits and can be a lot of fun, both mentally and physically ... but so does an upturned butt, moving almost unseen, wanting, anticipating the next strike of my cane .... the latter, I enjoy getting into a rythym, tapping out a beat, 1, 2, 3, FOUR, 1, 2, 3, FOUR ...mixing it up ...a sensual thing...wanting them to ride the physical, fly with endorphins...floating into a pleasureable space ... whereas the former is more about exerting control over them, taking what it is I am want to dish out because they should and I can...

< Message edited by Jasmyn -- 8/19/2006 9:23:04 PM >

_____________________________

quote:

"To learn the art of submission a slave must first give up the desires that drew him to submission in the first place." Mistress Jasmyn Jan 2005.

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Post #: 20

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